Unexpected

Chapter Two: Denial

Ginny woke up just after the sun. The light fell into her eyes and she squinted, snuggling closer into her sheets and pillows to find curled locks of chestnut brown next to her nose. She breathed in, smelling almonds and raspberries, and swallowed. Unbidden, her eyes traveled over a few more inches to see Hermione Granger bathed in sunlight.

It was amazing how many times she had memorized the older girl's face. She was an expert in the swoop of her long, nutmeg lashes, the curve of her cheekbone, the shape of her mouth (full bottom lip, stained the same color as a faded pink rose; and now she knew that they really did feel like rose petals, the way she'd always imagined). She knew where the shadows fell across her nose, and where a few secret freckles hid beyond sight, just on the side of her forehead, usually hidden by her hair. Perhaps even Hermione didn't know they were there.

Hermione doesn't know a lot of things, Ginny thought to herself, closing her mouth around a sigh. She let her fingers wrap around the few strands closest to her, careful to not tug, and thought about yesterday for the billionth time. Yes, maybe the moment had come unexpected. She probably should have waited to pull something like that. But she'd been thinking about the taste and feel of Hermione's lips on hers almost all day, all week, all year, for four years… Ever since Ginny had been admitted into the hospital wing after being rescued by Harry and Ron from Tom Riddle. It was right after they had given her the antidote to un-Petrify her. Ginny remembered waking groggily and seeing the older girl sleeping peacefully, curled up on her side like a kitten. Despite the fact that her body and mind were broken, she couldn't help but smile and be glad that Hermione was all right.

From there, Ginny found herself waiting expectantly for Ron to receive word from the Muggle-born girl all summer. She visited a few times to the Burrow that year, though Harry couldn't join them. Each time, Ginny's mother asked her to share a bed. Each time, Ginny gladly accepted, and they slowly became closer. The first thing they ever discussed was what it was like to live in the same household as Ronald Weasley. The thought of the conversation still made her chuckle.

"He chews his fingernails constantly," Ginny had told her, sitting cross-legged on her bed. Hermione sat across from her in the same position, and between them, a box of Every Flavor Beans sat open. "He'll be talking to me sometimes, and all of a sudden a piece of fingernail will fly out and hit me in the face. It's disgusting."

"So that's what's been coming out of his mouth," Hermione had replied, popping some beans into her mouth with a grin that spoke of coming laughter. "I just thought he didn't take care of his teeth, and that plaque was flying out at me… No wonder he didn't understand when I referred him to see my parents."

Ginny laughed aloud. Hermione stirred next to her and started to open her eyes. The panic button erupted in the redhead's brain, and she immediately pulled her fingers out of Hermione's hair and retreated farther towards the wall, feeling embarrassed, and a little sad.

"Morning, 'Mione," Ginny said in a small voice. The panic button raised its alarm again; what if she asks me about yesterday? What am I supposed to say?

"Good morning," Hermione replied through a yawn, stretching her arms up. Ginny tried not to look at the delicate wrists and fingers she wanted so badly to hold. "Sorry if I woke you at all when I came into bed; it was a little late, and I know you were tired."

Ginny shook her head. "No, I didn't even hear you come in." Warning: close proximity to target. Target speaking casually. Course of action? "So, did Ron throw another fit when you beat him a few too many times at chess?" she asked brightly, half-sitting up to get the sun out of her eyes - and to increase the distance between them.

"No…" The other girl smiled a bit sadly. Ginny wasn't sure what to think of it. "I wasn't really on top of my game last night. He beat me more often than I beat him. I think it worried him a little."

The redhead laughed a little. "Ron would be worried if it seemed like he was getting smarter than you," she replied teasingly. "I think he would try to get himself expelled, just in case he started scoring higher on tests than you did."

Hermione made a nose of disbelief and rolled her eyes. "Ha, as if that were possible, considering he and Harry are more concerned with Quidditch strategies than with actual schoolwork." She let her voice trail and looked out the window, towards the fields, and licked her lips. "Ginny… About yesterday…"

Warning: subject brought up by target. Above all, stay calm. Nonchalant, even. "What about yesterday?" Ginny asked with a suddenly squeaky voice. Stay calm!

The question seemed to throw Hermione off. The older girl put herself upright slowly and licked her lips. "When you… when you kissed me, I mean."

Was Hermione embarrassed? Well, of course she's embarrassed, idiot. You kissed her. She's probably going to turn you down now. She's probably going to question your motives and try to wave it away like a minor incident. Nothing that you would want to happen again. Ginny closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Just try to stay calm.

"Oh, that." It was all the younger girl could think to say. Hermione was entirely too close all of a sudden.

"It was a little unexpected," Hermione continued. "Well… Very unexpected, to be honest." Her lips twitched into a smile, briefly, and it didn't reach the rest of her features. "I was just wondering why…. Why you would do something like that."

"I…" A million things were flying to her head, thoughts swimming in a whirlwind of other incidents when she had wanted to do it, when she had looked at Hermione and been taken aback by her beauty, when she had accidentally touched the other girl's skin and felt paralyzed with emotion and desire, when she had stayed up so many nights during the summer and wished for so many things, including for the older girl to look at her, just once, and caress her cheek with her hand. And now this girl was asking her why she had finally done something about her raging emotions, and every explanation, and every flowery speech of her feelings for Hermione, were leaving her head like sand between her spread fingers. "I don't know. I guess I…"

Ginny Weasley, are you losing your nerve? a voice came into her head, bitingly sarcastic and chiding. You want this! You want her! Just let her know, and you might get what you want. She might want you, too. How can you really know, until you say something? Don't you dare give up this chance.

"I guess the heat did something to my head," she finally choked out. Tears stung in the back of her eyes. She slummed her shoulders into herself, and looked away.

Hermione felt something in her crash, like a fragile piece of glass hitting a marble floor. Something that seemed insignificant, but the shards resonated throughout her body and left her feeling empty. Like she had just lost something very, very precious. "I… I see," she replied, blinking in incomprehension. "Well… All right then." She tried to look chipper, and knew that she was failing horribly. "No harm done, right?" She didn't wait for Ginny to reply, but got out of bed and pulled on a random skirt from her pile of clothes. "I'm going to help your mum out with breakfast. I'm sure she'll appreciate the help. I'll… I'll see you at breakfast."

Footsteps, and then the door opened and closed. The sound echoed uncomfortably in Ginny's ears. It was in this sound that Ginny let the first tears fall.

And it's all in my head...