- - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - --
INSANITY OF GAME SHOWS CHAPTER TWO Y'ALL!
- - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - --
Disclaimer: No, I do not own RFR or Trading Spaces..
No, I am not on drugs. But yes, I am insane. I wrote some of this chapter in my journal at school and my friend saw some of it and she was like, "Allie...do we need to take you to the white room again?" Even though she KNOWS I prefer the pink room. Humph. Well, anyway, I hope you like this! I mean -- you better like this!
PART ONE OF TRADING SPACES
- - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Allie: (sitting on a white couch in a red room) Hiya folks! Allie here with a brand new episode of TRADING SPACES!
(applause)
Allie: Thank you, thank you. I know I'm too good for this show, but (sighs) what can I say? I'm a giver. I'm no taker. Except when payday comes around! (canned laughter) Now today, we're going to let Radio Free Roscoe and Degrassi switch places! Two people from each show will switch. You've voted, but since all voting is rigged...WE decided.
(the door opens and Lily and Travis pop out)
(another door opens and Craig and Manny come out)
Lily: Hey! I remember you! (points to Craig)
Craig: (tries to remember, then nods his head) Yeah...I remember you too. You were on that show that's not as popular as Degrassi.
Manny: So that's where you and Paige went.
Craig: (shrugs) I needed the extra cash, you know how it is.
Manny: (blank look) No. I don't. Guys buy me stuff all the time.
Craig: (suddenly emotional) Right. Like how I bought you that bracelet. And you just THREW it back at me. Ehmagawd Manny. Why the hell would you do that to me?
Manny: You were the one that cheated on me you stupid cad! (hits him with her purse that matches her shoes, nail polish, and headband)
Travis: (stares at Manny as she takes out her lip gloss and starts to apply it) Lily, Lily. She's so... (goes under spell) pretty.
Manny: (sees Travis staring at her) What do you want FREAK?
Travis: And so nice too! (sighs happily)
Fangirls of Travis: THAT WHORE! SHE'S STEALING OUR MAN! (they take TV and stomp on it)
Lily: Uh. Yeah.
Allie: OKAY GUYS! Are you ready to trade spaces?
Craig: Sure.
Allie: Okayyy! Then, Degrassi dudes...you go through that door. (points to the door Lily and Travis came out of) And RFR should go through that door. (points to the other one) Have fun!
(Lily and Travis walk over to a black door and they open it. You hear profanity, babies crying and other horrible things that are 100 intense!)
Lily: (puts hand to mouth, shocked) OHMIGOD. That's a real gun. That's a 2-year old carrying a gun!
Travis: Lily. I'm scared. (clings to Lily)
Allie: Oh well! (pushes them in)
(Craig and Manny open the yellow door and you hear nice words like "gee" and "swell" and sugar is coming out and you can hear honest-to-good laughter at a funny joke)
Craig: OHMIGOD. I need drama. I need drama. I can't breathe. That kid is giving out candy! A 15-year-old is giving out candy to its classmates!
Manny: (puts hands to ears) No...happy laughter. I'm melting...I'm so scared.
Allie: Um. Don't melt on the the way out. (pushes them in and closes the door and sits on the couch) So everyone...just sit down and relax...and have some condoms! That's what Manny needed when she got it on with Craig. So what's going to happen when she meets Ray? Another episode that isn't going to be shown in the US because of "bad" content? Even though in the US, those things happen every day? Well, let's go find out!
- - -- - - - - - -
IN ROSCOE
- - - - - - - - - -
(Manny and Craig appear by the lockers; dazed somewhat)
Craig: Um...are we...in Roscoe?
Manny: Like, ew. (wrinkles nose) That paint so does not go with my outfit. (Ray and Robbie walk up) But that guy does...
Robbie: Are you guys Manny and Craig?
Craig: Uh, yeah.
Ray: Hey! You're that guy who was totally mean to Lily, and changed her and crap! (gets pretty pissed)
Craig: Well I was playing that jerk. See, I'm Craig. The hot? guitar player that cheated on Manny and Ashley and became bipolar and asked Ashley to marry him and...
Robbie: (puts his hand up to stop him) You know what? I do not care. At all.
Ray: And you (points to Manny) are?
Manny: (gets up real close to Ray) I'm Manny...(sexy? voice)...stranger.
Ray: (pretty creeped out) Uh, that's nice. (turns to Craig) So you're Craig? What's life like at Degrassi?
Manny: (eyes wide) He...he didn't bow down to me. Oh, oh, ohmygawd, ohmygawd...I need reassurance. (grabs Ted and Ed) TELL ME I'M BEAUTIFUL AND SEXY AND HOT. TELL ME! TELL ME YOU'LL WORSHIP ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE DOES! (A/N: She reminds me of Trixie from Fairly OddParents, lmfao)
Ted: Uh. Y-you are...(glances at Ed)...pretty?
Ed: Umm..yes. (scared) You are.
Manny: (starts laughing manically) YES! YES! I AM PRETTY! PRETTY! I AM PRETTY! (throws Ed and Ted into the lockers) Now...I need more targets that will adore me! (sees a guy) YOU! (boy looks confused) WORSHIP ME! ADORE ME! LOVE ME!
Boy: (raises eyebrow) You're weird.
Manny: (falls to the ground) I'm...weird? I'm now...weird? (starts to cry) B-but...noooooo! My popularity is gone! Woe is me!
Robbie: (looks at her, then turns to Craig) Is she always like this?
Craig: (laughs) Unfortunately, no.
BACK IN THE ROOM
Allie: Uh...there's something that's funny, yet pathetic. Manny the maniac. Now! Let's go see how the Roscoe kids are doing at Degrassi.
- -- - - - - - - - -
IN DEGRASSI
- - - -- - - - - - - -
(Lily and Travis appear in front of the school, scared to death)
Lily: (breathes in and out) Okay, Travis..we can do this. It's not going to be--(sees a couple having sex down the hall) Holy shit monkies. (winces, and turns away, looks like she's going to hurl)
Travis: (sees the couple and looks disgusted) What is this place? The Love Shack?
Emma: (starts walking up to them, with Spinner, Paige, and Marco by her side; she looks amused) Love Shack? Haven't heard that before. (glances at Jay) Heyyy...bab-ay, see ya tonight, kays?
Jay: (grins happily) Sure!
Marco: Um...Emma, (Emma starts to put on lip gloss) don't you have gonerria? You make it sound like gon-whore-ia...
Emma: (puts the gloss back, flips her hair from her shoulder) Uh, very amusing Marco. I'm actually not sick. (hesitates) Well, that much, anyway. And, you know, if I am, and he gets sick...(looks at Jay skipping off) serves that fuckard right.
Lily: Umm.. (freaked out)
Travis: That's...great. Lovely. (scared to death)
Paige: So you must be Lily and Travis, huh? I'm Paige. THEE girl in CONTROL around here. Most popular, you know. I also have good drama too; I got raped! It was an hour long special! I am always the best, suh-eriously. (million dollar smile)
Spinner: And I'm Spinner. I used to go out with Paige for like, 93284 years, but then we broke up because of... (can't remember) um...why did we break up again?
Paige: I think I broke your car...or something...
Spinner: Yeah...something like that...
Marco: And I'm Marco! I'm the hawt gay guy, you know it! (winks) And that's Emma. She used to be this good girl but now she's this total slut.
Paige: Just like Manny! They're even slutt-ier than me!
Marco: (laughs) Yeah, but at least they don't go after older men!
Emma: What's that supposed to mean?
Paige: (tries to think of something) Uh, um...college boys.
Emma: Oh. Okay.
Spinner: (turns to Travis and Lily) So, who are you guys?
Lily: I'm Lily. I play guitar and I'm the one that has gone out with all the Roscoe boys, except Robbie! (remembers) But we did almost kiss in the beginning...when he thought I liked him...
Paige: So you're a slut?
Travis: (angry) NO! She is NOT a slut. She didn't go out with all of us all at once!
Marco: Oohh, someone still has feeeelings...
Lily: (shocked) O. M. G. No way.
Travis: I like Parker, remember, Lily?
Lily: (unfazed) So?
Travis: So I like Parker. Not you. Anymore.
Emma: You know, you two will really get along around here. You guys have the drama thing down pat!
Lily: (smirks) Well...we DID have that kiss and then Ray came in and then the next season didn't come back until, like, another year...
Spinner: While we, of course, stole the show because...you know...everyone loves them some Degrassi. (suddenly conceited) Uh-huh. That's right.
Travis: (mumbles) Bastard. (looks at the others) So what do you...do around here?
Emma: Right now it's all about Jay and me! We're like...having sex and I got this sickness from him...technically, I'm probably not supposed to be in school...I'd probably be in my bed, feeling sorry for myself. But I have to greet you guys! I love people! If you weren't here, I'd crying my eyes out! (cheery)
Paige: Just like everyone else! (giggles)
Marco: Except ME. Nothing really bad happens to be. Except that whole Spinner/getting beat up thing. But Dylan...(sparkly eyes) Dylan helped me!
Spinner: Not anymore. He's going to cheat on you. Most likely.
Marco: What!
Spinner: Have you seen the commercials lately?
Marco: (mad) NO! I refuse to believe that crap!
Lily: I refuse to believe crap too! Wow! Let's go shopping, Marco!
Marco: Sure! You would look great in a vintage skirt, you know that? (starts to walk away with Lily)
Travis: (yells after her) LILY! Don't leave me here! (glances at Emma, who is kissing Jay, Paige, who is being popular, and Spinner, who is being an idiot) PLEASEEEEE!
- - - -- - - - - - - - - - -
BACK IN ROSCOE
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
(Manny is by the lockers, eating crackers, and once in a while, snaps her head towards her purse with all her make-up in it, and stares at it for a couple minutes, then snaps her head back and finishes her crackers. Craig, on the other hand, is laughing it up with Ray and Grace)
Craig: (stops laughing and smiles at Grace) So are you and Ray going out? (A/N: This is before the last eppy, kay?)
Grace: (tugs at the handcuffs that Ray has on his left arm and Grace has on her right) Uh-huh! Right sweetie?
Ray: Yeah! (smiles)
Craig: But didn't you like that Lily girl? When I was here, you seemed to be really close to her...
Grace: (angry) NO! They AREN'T GOING OUT! He's just REALLY, REALLY good friends with her. UNDERSTAND! (pulls Ray away and huffs off)
Craig: Uh...okay...
Girl 1: OHMIGOD! Girl 2, look at that guy. He is soooo gorgeous!
Girl 2: No he's not.
Girl 1: (hits her) Shhh! We're getting paid, remember? Now call all the other girls and tell them that "hot boy Craig" is here.
Girl 2: Okay. (calls the girls and they come in 5 seconds)
Girl 1: LOOK GIRLS! FRESH HOT MEAT!
(the girls stare at Craig)
Girl 2: (whispers to them) You're getting paid...
(the girls go crazy and start chasing him)
Craig: Ahhh...it's good to be gorgeous!
Manny: Asswipe. (nibbles on her cracker, and at that moment, River comes by and looks at her)
River: Who are you? Are you from that Degrassi thing?
Manny: (blushes, and gets up, and suddenly looks perfect) Yes, I am. Oh...I'm so embarrassed!
River: Why?
Manny: (she looks like a perfect doll) Well...such a handsome boy came by and I look like a mess.
River: (smiles) Well, everyone has their off days.
Manny: (squints her eyes at him) Uh, right. Aren't you going to tell me I look so pretty? I mean, I look perfect!
River: That's perfect?
Manny: (wants to kill him, but doesn't) Yes. It. Is. (forced smile)
River: Well, that's okay. Want to go to Mickey's?
Manny: (billion dollar smile) Of course!
(River and Manny exit, while in the background Craig is still being chased by girls)
- -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
BACK IN DEGRASSI
- - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - -
Lily: Ohhhh ma gawsh, that was soooo much FUN Marco. (has tons of shopping bags)
Marco: (grinning) I know, I know...I'm the fun master. (does a corny dance)
Lily: Uhh...kay. (walks in building and sees Travis all popular-ized, brand name head to toe) Ohmaeffingawd, what the hell HAPPENED to you Travis!
Travis: (pushes his hand into his hair) The great Buddha got a make over, babe.
Lily: (blinks; confused) What. The. Hell?
Paige: (appears; has a staple gun) Yes...you can hug me later, Travis. When my hair is allowed to be touched, kay?
Emma: (appears) Wah-oa! you did a GREAT job hun!
Paige: (freezes, glares at Emma) What the hell did you just say?
Emma: Uhhmm..great job?
Paige: NO. (takes the staple gun and put it to Emma's face) You. Said. HUN. That's MY thing kay hun?
Emma: Uh. Sure. Kay. Your word. Not mine.
Paige: Glad we had this talk. (gets out of her face and turns back to Travis, all cheery and happy) So anyway! Travis, you look so HOT.
Lily: (disgusted) If by "hot", you mean total superfical PREP, then you got "hot".
Emma: (big old smile) Ohhhmagawshhhh, that is SO what we were hoping for! Twirl around Travis, let me see all of your hotness!
Travis: Sure, ladies. (turns around, slowly, so everyone can taste the hottness)
Emma and Paige: (swoooon)
Travis: Paige, (takes her in his arms) thanks so much for the new look. You are super cool, babe. (Paige faints)
Lily: (screams) NO! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE COOL TRAVIS! WHY IS HE CALLING EVERYONE BABE! (starts ripping out her hair)
Travis: Lily. (Lily stops) Chill.
Lily: NO! NO! NOOO! YOU NEED TO CHILL! THE OLD TRAVIS WOULD NEVER SAY "CHILL". HE'D SAY SOME HOT BUDDHA QUOTE!
Travis: Lily, are you saying I was hot before the makeover?
Lily: DUH! All your fangirls think that.
Travis: Hmm..(thinks)..true. (rips off his Abercrombie shirt)
Fangirls: (SQUEAL!)
Travis: Umm..no. I have a shirt underneath this... (shirt says "Buddha is Great")
Fangirls: (sigh)
Paige: B-but! What?
Travis: We can still hang out Paige. I'm still hotter than anyone on the Degrassi show.
Paige: (thinks it over) Yeah, that's true.
Marco: (appears out of no where) Liiike, ehmagawd! Maybe we should give a makeover to Lily! It'd be like Queer Eye for the Straight Girl! Since all those gay guys are sooo hot, you know? And all those girls LOVE them but they can NEVER get them.
Emma: YES! YESS!
Lily: No. No. NO. NO. NOOOO.
- - - - - - - - - -
OKAY. That's part one. I needed to finish something before I went away to camp for like a month, you know? This chapter, I think, wasn't really as funny as the last one…but it will get better in part two, I PROMISE. And there was no names like Dani and Brenna I put in. I'm sorry. I'll do that in following chapters.
And Trading Spaces is NOT like this at all. But you know? I DON'T EFFIN' CARE.
I hope you guys like this chapter!
Loverly,
Allie