Lost

Chapter Six

Sleep had helped his distressed mind somewhat. Both the morning and noon meals passed before he woke and he realised that he had needed some good uninterrupted rest for a long time.

Stretching slightly, not wanting to leave the comforting warmth of his bed, Erestor slowly thought of the events that morning, trying to work out all the muddled information his brain told him was truth.

The bell for the evening meal rang out and Erestor groaned. The thought of food in his belly just made him feel ill all over again. The least he could do was to show up at this meal though, lest Elrond decided to worry overly much and came to check on him.

Getting out of bed, he quickly changed into fresh clothing, before making his way to the Dining Hall. The first thing he noticed was the smell of food. He realised that he would not be eating anything then and there regardless of what Lord Elrond said about it.

He took his seat, glancing about at the tables and noticed that he wasn't the only one not eating. Elrond held a fork in one hand and was busy skewering everything on the plate in front of him, his other hand was propping up his chin, elbows on the table.

The first thought to come to his mind was that for the first time ever, Lord Elrond was exerting bad manners. The second was that he looked angry over something. The third was that the angry arch of his eyebrows, the furrowing of his forehead and the way he held himself reminded Erestor that there was the blood of Man running through Elrond's veins.

He looked entirely too Mannish right this instant.

His eyes skipped over Elrond now, moving over the rest of his Lord's family. Celebrían seemed her usual elegant self sitting by Elrond's left side. Next to her were the twins. Both of them looked unhappy and Erestor noticed that one of them, after a careful examination of the two boys he noted it was Elladan, had the wrist he normally ate or wrote with splinted.

Shifting slightly, missing the presence of Glorfindel, who would normally be sitted at Elrond's right side and Erestor next to him, he sighed. Forgiveness would come later, he thought as he remembered bringing Lord Elrond to help him when he had broken down in to a sobbing wreck.

The thought embarrased him more than he would like and shamed him to an extent he had never felt before.

He shook his head clear of any troubling thoughts, slowly pushing the food on his plate about. Something here seemed very wrong.

He was pulled from his thoughts as a hard tap to the shoulder was felt. Turning slightly, Erestor saw that it was Elrond wanting to speak. "What is it that you need, my Lord?" He asked, quite unprepared for whatever it may be.

"Give Glorfindel his evening meal. He missed lunch. If he refuses to eat, shove the food down his throat. Perhaps choking will make him feel better." Elrond stated, before angrily stalking away, leaving behind a rather confused Chief Advisor.

He was on his way to do as his Lord had bid, when a gentle hand stopped him in his path. This time as he turned about, it was Celebrían standing behind him.

"Forgive Elrond. He is angry over something that happened earlier on in the day while you slept. Be careful how you act about Glorfindel. Do not force him to eat anything more than he wants."

Erestor was getting more confused by the second. He nodded politely, gave a small bow to his Lady, before picking out some of the best food there was to eat at the table and heading towards the Healing Wing.

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Celebrían made her way quickly over to her room, of which she shared with Elrond and caught the door just before it could shut completely behind her fleeing husband.

She entered the room and looked about her, noticing that the small table off to one side with its four chairs had been flipped over, the flowers that had been sitting prettily in a now-broken vase we scattered about the floor.

Elrond was nowhere to be seen. She immediately turned to the private bathing room they had. The door was closed and, after trying to open it, she noticed that it was also locked.

She closed her eyes. She knew that Elrond was upset and angry but truly...did he have to lock her, his wife, out too?

Sighing, she carefully reached for the door again and tapped lightly. "I am bathing Celebrían. You can leave me be. I am not going to drown myself." Came an answer from the other side of the door.

Frowning at the dismissal, she took out her key and unlocked the door. Entering the bathing room, she noticed Elrond had not lied...to a full extent. He was sitting hunched in the bath, his arms about his legs, his head resting lightly on his knees. He was still fully dressed despite the water he was sitting in.

"He made me so mad..." He muttered into his legs as Celebrían sat beside the cool water and gently began to rub his covered back.

"He was angry too, Elrond. And he was scared. You know some people turn whatevever they are feeling into anger as it hurts less. You are doing it now."

He turned angry eyes on her, but didn't lash out as he wanted to. Sighing, he nodded. "I cannot afford breaking down right now. He might make me angry, but he still needs help."

Celebrían smiled at him then, before stripping off her dress and joining him in the bath. The water rose with the addition of her weight, but not much higher. Without much trouble, she managed to get her love to raise his arms and she got rid of the robe and tunic he was wearing underneath it.

"Expend your energy on something else!" Celebrían stated, before bringing him closer for a kiss.

It was the first time after the accident that they had been intimate with each other. He was a little rougher than the gentle lover she was used to, though she forgave him for that.

He made up for that once they had managed to get out of the bath and made it to the bed.

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He was woken by the door opening. The first thing he noticed was the smell of food and it suddenly felt as if he hadn't eaten in weeks.

He waited for the fog of waking to disappear entirely before he went and moved his head slightly to the other side only to see Erestor coming towards the bedside.

A crash of something breaking came to his ears and the plate that had held his dinner was now broken in three, his meal now on the floor.

It seemed absolutely absurd to him and, though he didn't laugh, or even feel capable of it, he did manage a faint smile. Erestor's hands flew to his mouth, his eyes wide, staring at him.

"You are awake!" Whispered Erestor, though Glorfindel caught the words easily.

"You just woke me..." Glorfindel replied, his eyes going to the floor and the spilt food. "I am hungry."

Erestor just looked at him for a few seconds, before he did the unthinkable. He laughed, but at the same time tears came to his eyes. "I will get you something else then, if you don't mind being left alone for a few minutes."

Glorfindel could feel the slight panic the thought gave him, of being alone. He shook his head, eyes wide. "Don't leave, please! I...I don't like to be alone."

Erestor stared at him for a little while, before closing his eyes and nodding slightly. "Alright, but can I get someone to go get you something to eat? I will be just outside the door to your room. I promise."

With the thought of company and a meal in the near future, Glorfindel nodded his head. Erestor opened the door and left the room. Almost immediately the room seemed too large and very much empty. The voice of Erestor could still be heard though, telling a servant just outside the doors for a small meal to brought to him.

A small meal, Glorfindel thought, I feel like I could eat my horse! Not that he would, of course. He loved the creature dearly, he just hadn't gotten around to naming her yet.

He was thinking of a good name for a white mare when Erestor came back into the room, smiling sadly at him. The smile slipped into an angry scowl that Glorfindel had only ever seen Erestor give the twins when they misbehaved while in his company.

His mind tried to remember what he had done to warrant the Chief Advisor's anger, but he couldn't get past the fog that seemed to have replaced memories. What had he done? What didn't he do? Did he say something wrong?

"Erestor?" He asked, voice still husky from his earlier screaming. He had remembered Celebrían singing but... "Did I do something bad?"

"Bad?!" Estor exclaimed, suddenly running towards him, fists ready to fly. "Do you have any idea what you put Elrond and I through?!"

Glorfindel blinked slowly up at him, trying again to make his way to locked memories. "I don't remember much of anything since...how long have I been here?"

"A week! Of utter hell too if you must know. Valar, I know, I knew, you weren't feeling good but....don't ever do that to me again. I am not as strong as Elrond."

"No one said you had to be. Erestor, I don't know what I did to make you so upset. If any of us here should be, it is me."

Erestor, with much effort, loosened his fists and dropped his unclenched hands to his sides. "How do you feel?"

Glorfindel stared at his friend, before looking away. Truth be told, he did feel upset. And angry. And scared.

Erestor took it upon himself to ease the uncomfortable silence that had creeped over them. "I am sorry for being upset with you but...I have been resting most of this day on Elrond's orders. I couldn't handle being one to look after you anymore. I broke down."

Glorfindel turned his head quickly towards his friend and the whole world seemed to spin with the movement. The sudden feeling of vertigo did not leave him right away and he spent a few tortuous minutes on the brink of either passing out or throwing up.

When his senses finally calmed, he opened his eyes from when they had closed to try and stop the ground from moving and took in the rather pale features of his friend. "You sould rest some more. You do not look well."

"Thank you for the shining praise, he who has been looking even worse than I." Erestor stated, huffing slightly in that I-Know-Everything attitude he adopted when he was joking about something.

Glorfindel couldn't help but smile, though he knew that he wasn't up to keeping the smile on his face. In a few short seconds, he went from wanting to jest back to wishing that Erestor would just leave him to his misery.

He also knew that to be left alone would make him panic. His thoughts were against him. Elrond was against him for reasons he didn't know of and now it felt as if he were two different people. His feelings were so separate from each other he actually wondered if this were so.

"I feel like I am going mad! Erestor, make it stop. Why do I feel like this? Why?!" He asked fiercely, balling his fists and smashing them into the mattress.

Erestor didn't answer. Instead he let him go about hitting the bed. In a few minutes he was exhausted and he realised that his strength, once he had so much of it, was severly depleted.

"I am here to help, Glorfindel. I might not be much help, but if you want to talk...." Erestor said quietly, his hand reaching out to grab one of his and holding it gently.

Glorfindel stared for a few seconds at his best friend and saw that Erestor was being truthful. He was going to answer, he honestly planned to. Unfortunately as soon as his mouth opened the first thing that came out was a confused sob of frustration.

"I don't know what to do anymore!" He moaned out, before he began to cry.

"Crying is a good start, Glorfindel." Erestor replied, before bring him into a hug.

When a servant came in with a tray heavy with food, she had been confused by the sight of Glorfindel and Erestor holding each other, both in tears.

A/N - Well, if there was any OOCness in the last chapter on Elrond's part, I'd hate to know what you are thinking of his behaviour in this chapter!

Thanks to the people that reviewed. You all are so sweet to like such a story that is...well, the way this one is. You people are great!

Azzy - lol, How did I know you would like my enraged Elrond? You must like him a little more from this chapter. I have no idea where the bathroom scene came from....but its there, and it is staying. No slapping Glorfindel! Naughty! I think Elladan has a better chance to chew on his ankles, though I doubt that would really register to Glorfindel at the moment.

Seeing-spots - He did just get what eh deserved, and as such he has decided the best thing to do is push the memory of that event to the back of his mind, making him forget. Presence of caring people abound! He will get plenty of that, though I can't promise that he won't lash out anymore. He is rahter angry at the moment after all.

Ithiliel Silverquill - First off, I would like to say that I am honoured by your review. I am a big fan of your stories (especially First Impressions). Someone who likes the Celebrian I am writing. I must admit that she is one of my favourites to write in this story. Erestor will recover soon, a lot faster than poor, dear Glorfindel, bu tas you can see he is still rather upset. At least they decided to comfort each other.

...I actually never thought of this story as one stripping away everyone's dignity, but you have a point. I HAVE done that. I am actually amazed that, from the ugliness of this story, that people are reading it, let alone reviewing. I have never heard that Grace under pressure sayign before, bu tI have read that courage is doing somethign that otherwise terrifies you.

Suddenly thinking of what it must have been like for poor Elrond trying to heal his wife only to see her sail West.

Barbara Kennedy - I believe that you are right, he will be horrified when he realises what he has done. Celebrian is actually fun to write in this story. I have never truly written her before, but most people show her as either the bad person, or a ditsy blonde. I wanted to try and change that. And Glorfindel will need a lot of comforting.