6/28/2005

Disclaimer- I don't own The O.C.

A/N- I owe you all a note of gratitude and apology. First, I am sorry for the lack of update. This chapter is almost, in a way, for my sake to understand where the characters are coming from. So in a T.V. show, it would be sensible to make a few scenes and string them together, but I had been afraid that putting this sort of thing in a fanfic would work. Anyway, I sucked it up and decided it was a necessary part of the story, so here it is. Also, I wanted to say thank you for all of the feedback- honestly, it's so overwhelming and makes me so happy. And KC Chick, words cannot describe how much I appreciate your reviews, all I can say is I'm glad you're enjoying it!

The sun blazed straight through the glass walls into Ryan Atwood's eyes. They succumbed briefly and fluttered opened for a few seconds. After letting out a small groan in protest of the daylight, he rolled over onto Marissa's back and buried his face in her neck. A slight laugh escaped her mouth, muffled by the soft pillow. He smiled and nuzzled his forehead affectionately in her hair, trying to wake her completely.

"Five more minutes…"

Ryan's eyes darted to her pillow, and he slowly pulled it out from under her. She looked up once her head thudded slightly against the mattress, an amused smile playing across her face. He admired the way the sun's rays illuminated her laughing face, the blueness dancing in her eyes. But Marissa snapped him out of his daze, grabbing the pillow and smacking his chest with it. He lifted his hands in a playful protest as a realization dawned in his mind. He was lying in bed with the most beautiful girl in the world, on the most beautiful day in the world, with the most beautiful sunrise warming their bodies. A strong happiness lifted inside his heart, and he tried his best to keep it aflame.

"That's what you get for waking me up."

"Well you have to get up eventually, right?"

She looked up at the ceiling, light shadows floating across its surface. A smile lit her eyes as she rested her arms complacently across the white sheets.

"No. I don't need to wake up. I am going to spend the rest of my life right here."

She paused briefly, a satisfaction crawling through her body. Ryan sighed quietly and waited for her to turn to him. He placed a soft, still kiss on her freshly awakened lips, wanting to hold on to the moment forever. They both knew she couldn't stay. She was going to have to leave Newport eventually, whether it be in a week or a month. But right now they were living in a world of fantasy and love. And as long as they were together, it was easy to pretend she would never have to go.

"I'm gonna go take a shower," she said sweetly.

Ryan smiled at the thought of her using his towels, showering in the same place he did, wearing his clothes. He watched as she wrapped the sheets around her body and walked confidently towards the bathroom, her hair only slightly tousled from sleep. The sun was too bright now to go back to bed, and he didn't want to waste a single moment of the day. Instead he leaned back against her pillow, breathing in her lingering scent and listening to the water crash down on her unclothed body.

XXXX

Seth sat against the headboard of his twin sized bed, twirling a particularly dismayed Captain Oats in his fingers. His lanky legs crouched against his chest, and he began to trot the plastic horse over his knees.

"Mr. Oats," he mumbled to himself. "I like it. Very distinguished. Now all you need is a tuxedo and a bowtie and you'll be an Orange County regular."

When the horse failed to respond, Seth set him down on the thin mattress and leaned his head back against the wall. His eyes were sullen and dry, lacking their usual enthusiasm. It seemed like whenever his world began to build back to the way it was, something would break the progression. All Seth Cohen wanted was to hold his life firmly in his hands, but every time he was certain he had a strong grasp, it began to slip. His mother's admittance into a rehab center was the first rupture to shake his newfound stability. The nightmare with Trey still haunted everyone involved. And now with Marissa leaving, it felt like an irreversible curse had been cast upon his life.

A hesitant knock on the door interrupted Seth's thoughts, and he adjusted his slouched posture in an attempt to look somewhat alive. Rather than inviting the person into the room, he waited for their inevitable entrance. And soon enough, a pair of feet began to shuffle through the doorway.

"Hey Cohen," Summer said sweetly.

"Hey," he murmured, glancing at her quickly and then directing a faint smile to the blanket below him. He watched out of the corner of her eye as she took a seat on the bed, leaning her head back into the disarray of pillows. Her hand grasped his, caressing his fingers as they sat numb to her touch.

"She'll be back soon you know."

"I know."

Seth paused and looked at her gratefully, attempting to seem a little bit happier since she came. The sympathy and understanding in her eyes was so overwhelming that he couldn't help but open up to her.

Shifting his body to the side, he tightened his hold on her hand and began to talk.

"I just can't help thinking that I caused her to do it."

"Seth, you're not the reason why she drinks."

He looked up at her, hopeful that she would have some wise, comforting words. But when nothing came, he diverted his glance and began to fumble with the toy horse.

"Yeah well, she used to be a workaholic and now she's an alcoholic, so…"

There was nothing she could respond with, and Seth began to feel guilty for creating such an awkward moment. Instead of letting the heavy silence pass, he interrupted it.

"How are you doing with everything? With Marissa leaving?"

"Honestly?" she began. "I feel like breaking into the step monster's medicine cabinet."

"I know how you feel. Too well. Losing your best friend…"

"Yeah, only yours came back."

This time is was Seth who was failing to respond. After a few seconds, he patted her head gently and slumped further down on the bed.

"Promise me one thing?" he asked.

"Sure."

"You won't sail away on any boats when she leaves."

"Well, I can only try my best."

She rested her head on his shoulder as his arm wrapped around her, both of them trying to stay convinced that everything wasn't lost.

XXXXX

Marissa stepped out of the shower, her skin glistening with stagnant drops of water. Seeing her wrapped in the soft towel confirmed Ryan's belief that he could go on forever living only with her in the spacious pool house. Noticing his adoring smile, she excused the fact that she wasn't dressed.

"I left my clothes in the guestroom, so…"

"I can go get them," he offered.

"Thanks," she said, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Ryan, seeming slightly despaired to leave her, walked out of the glass doors into the day. He paused for a moment, letting the sun bathe its warmth over his muscular arms. He looked out to the glistening ocean, and back to the glistening girl inside his room. This fantasy life he was building seemed more appealing by the minute. It was also blinding him from a reality he would soon have to face.

He stumbled through the kitchen door and was immediately greeted by Seth and Summer's solemn faces. They diverted their eyes from the assortment of cereal boxes to Ryan, acknowledging him with slight nods.

"Hey," Ryan said contently.

He began to walk through the kitchen when the dead appearances if his two friends fully registered with him. They were sitting over two empty bowls of cereal, staring at the juvenile cartoons on the back of the boxes.

"Aren't you going to eat it?" he asked.

"Reading the box Ryan," Seth replied in his most monotone voice.

Ryan shook his head and began to exit the kitchen, when the phone rang. Nonchalantly, he put it to his ear and walked over to the counter, grabbing a handful of cereal.

"Hello?" he asked through a mouthful of cheerios.

"Ryan. It's Julie."

Ryan swallowed the remnants of cereal and leaned back into the hard counter, a humorless expression masking his face.

"What do you want?"

"No need to use that tone," she chirped. "I just wanted to know if my daughter since no one's answering at home."

"Yes, she's here. Why?"

"It just figures," she whined. "It's so like her to disobey my rules."

"And I wonder why she does that."

"I will not have you talking to me like that! Please, put Marissa on the phone."

"She's still sleeping," he lied.

"It's ten o'clock. Did you get her drunk again?"

"I'll have Marissa call you back when she wakes up."

And with that, he hung up on the woman who was ruining his life. And more importantly, Marissa's. He walked out of the kitchen without regard of the eyes that followed his path. The first dose of reality had hit heavily, but he would not let his happiness drown under the power of Julie Cooper.

XXXX

His spirits lifted when he reentered the pool house, seeing Marissa lie across his bed. She didn't notice his presence until he placed her bag next to him, awaking her from a strong reverie.

"Hey," she said softly. "What took so long?"

She began to unzip the bag, waiting for his answer.

"Well, Seth and Summer were in the kitchen. And…. your mom called," he muttered.

Unfortunately, not low enough to avoid her hearing.

"Wait, what? What did she want?"

"I don't know, I told her you were sleeping. You should call her back."

"That's a great way to start the morning."

"I know what you mean."

They exchanged faint smiles and she reached over to the phone on his nightstand, clutching the towel around her chest.

"Might as well get it over with," she sighed before dialing the number.

Her mother's voice flooded through the phone, the words she spoke becoming barely audible to Ryan.

"Marissa…" she started tentatively, almost shyly.

"Hi mom."

"You're staying at the Cohens…Don't you think Sandy has enough to deal with?"

"He said I could," she replied with a hint of defense lurking in her voice.

"Of course he did. This is the same man who let a juvenile delinquent stay in his ten million dollar mansion."

Marissa ignored her mother and looked up at Ryan, who seemed embarrassed by the words. His eyes darted to floor, causing a surge of hostility to conquer her tone.

"What are you calling for mom? Because as much as I enjoy listening to you insult my boyfriend, I have things to do."

"Your father and I will be home tomorrow. And I booked the ballroom, so the last black tie even could be our own, hmm?" She raised her voice in a smug proposal, hoping to lighten the mood.

"So you found something."

"Yes. Marissa, you'll love it. It's stunning."

"Right," her voice rang with dry sarcasm. "I've gotta go. But thanks for calling."

She hung up the phone before Julie could spoil her mood even more. Ryan noticed her dazed eyes, stare numbly at the square tiles in front of her. It was official. She was moving. He sat down next to her on the edge of the bed, letting the mattress sink slightly below them. A hesitant hand reached out and brushed her shoulder, afraid she would release an upheaval of sadness. But before she could let the emotions reach the outward world, a sliding creak sounded from doorway.

"Hey Ryan, Maris-"

Seth stopped himself when his eyes landed on the barely dressed girl.

"Wow, okay. You're in a towel. And this is awkward."

Marissa cleared her throat and leaned behind Ryan's back, hiding her unclothed body. She reached out behind her and grabbed a shirt from the bag, holding it against her chest in protection. Seth noticed the humorless anticipating expression on Ryan's face, and began to stumble over his words.

"So Summer needs to go to South Coast. I don't know why but that girl seems to have a constant need to shop. It's like eating to her."

The small smile that formed on Ryan's face was encouragement for him to continue speaking.

"Would you guys maybe wanna come? I mean, when you're dressed."

Ryan turned to Marissa for consent, and when he saw her eyes light up at the prospect of shopping, he couldn't help but give in. He had never known anyone before who had such a power over him; who he would give anything for just to see a smile on her face.

"Okay, sure. We'll meet you in the kitchen in like, twenty minutes."

XXXX

The four teens strolled down the busy pier, half eaten slices of pizza wedged in between their hands. Summer had a collection of shopping bags slung over her shoulders, while Marissa didn't buy anything. She was just too dead spirited to muster enough strength for shopping. The idea of spending a day with her three favorite people was incredibly appealing, but it seemed to be a tease. A reminder of what she would be leaving behind.

"What now?" Summer asked, the temporary shopper's fatigue having already worn off.

"Summer, haven't you shopped enough for one day?"

"You should know by now, Seth. There is no such thing as too much shopping."

"Maybe not for you. But for the male half of the species it is a very exhausting, and monotonous, and I just want to go home!"

The three others looked at Seth with bewildered expressions. Realizing that he had exaggerated his hatred of the feminine sport and once again over stepped his boundaries, he quickly tried to muster a reasonable suggestion of how to spend the rest of the day.

"Who wants a milkshake? Huh?" He persuaded.

A very eager Summer sped up her lively walk, pulling her boyfriend along with her.

"Come on Cohen! Black and white milkshakes await!"

"Black and white? Since when do you drink black and white? I always thought you liked strawberry…"

"Since Zach," she asserted, positive it would throw him off.

"That guy! What happened to that guy?"

Both Ryan and Marissa laughed slightly at the fading conversation ahead. It was the first time they had been alone throughout the entire day, and both wanted to take advantage of the short walk to the diner. He looked at her compassionately, having witnessed the pain engraved in her eyes since they had left. Sighing inaudibly, Ryan wished to himself that they had never left the pool house that morning. Then he wouldn't have to worry about facing reality. Which meant facing the fact that tomorrow he would be dressing up to say goodbye to Marissa Cooper.