Author's Notes: I officially apologise for implying that Jade Van Buuren is
a bitch. Miss Van Buuren is not, and has never been a bitch to myself or to
any other living thing. I also do declare that yes, I am a hobo. Miss Van
Buuren simply stated correctly my retardedismesquity. Thankyou, and
goodnight.
I wish also to express my condolences that Jade is unable to continue a puentant love affair with her favourite pink highlighter which she has just discovered an allergic reaction to.
PS: Guys I am so sorry! I am a loser who has not been able to write lately. Life seems to insist on getting in the way. That and my laziness.
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He sat and stared at his jelly (or jello, wherever you live) and poked it with a spoon, smiling broadly. Finally he gave up, and pushed the plate away and skipped merrily back to the Gryffindor tower. He said the password and walked through, and what he saw there was an absolute shock.
Lily was sprawled on the floor below a hologram of a woman who looked to be around 40 years old, although she'd had a lot of plastic surgery so she could have been 98.
The woman had a slow, squarish voice that cut through the air at Lily, commanding her to do weird looking things.
Lily had a light sheen of sweat on her forehead and was throwing her legs in the air unsystematically on the woman's prompt. She was busy stretching and bending around like a loony, so she didn't notice James doubled over with silent laughter.
There was a loud bang as James fell to his knees and rolled sideways onto his back, and Lily jumped up immediately. She blushed furiously and vanished the since impatient looking hologram.
Lily stomped over to James' still limp form and kicked him gently in the ribs. "Ow!" He spat through his booming laughter. He rolled onto his back and crawled over to the couch to make himself more comfortable in his fit of mirth.
"What are you doing sneaking up on me like that James?" Asked Lily, her angry voice echoing off the walls. She was still blushing like mad.
"Ah, Lily! That was classic! Now let me explain something to you..." He said, starting to calm down slightly. "Generally, common rooms tend to be rather common. You know, people coming in and out constantly; a rather noticeable lack of privacy; that kinda thing. So if you decide to do...whatever THAT was in here, you should expect someone will catch you. I think you should be thanking me actually."
"What?! Thanking you? What on earth for?" Screeched Lily. "And for your information, everyone was at dinner and I was to be finished any second."
"Yeah right. You looked pretty caught up in...that." James said, grinning. "You should thank me for being me. How would you feel if some seventh year came in and caught you? I bet you'd feel tonnes worse. It's a great day to know me!"
"You are insufferable James. You really are." Said Lily exasperatedly. She flicked a piece of loose sweaty hair from her face and sighed.
"Oh you know you love me. Anyway, what were you doing?" asked James, smirking at the look in Lily's eyes.
"It's a muggle thing called Pilates. Just stretching and stuff...but that class was particularly vigorous." Huffed Lily. She took a sideways look at James who was still smirking. "Shut up. I don't want to hear it."
James feigned shock. "I wasn't going to say a word. It actually looks rather energising. Maybe you could teach me one day." Said James hopefully.
"Yeah you wish." Said Lily, smiling. "Well I'm going to get changed. I'll talk to you later." She then got up and left James, who was still laughing at the reaction of his friend.
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James arrived at the breakfast table the following morning to an utterly devastated Sirius. He was sitting next to Amanda who was clearly trying to console him.
"It's just not fair! How dare he introduce something to totally wonderful into our lives only to rip it away, never to be seen again in the next second! Oh, it had only begun! And now...never again."
"Oh honey, you will be okay in time. I know it's hard, and it will be hard for a long time yet, but you need to keep yourself on track. You can't starve. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day!" Amanda bit her lip. She too was feeling the loss of a much loved breakfast pastry.
"What's going on?" Ask James who was stuck between concern and amusement. Hiding this conflict however, James looked on attentively to his best friend's torment.
"He's a slut that's what he is. That whorish tease of a headmaster. How could he do this to me James? He has found himself a new fascination; Froot Loops. Froot Loops!?! What kind of a name is that!? The old man has absolutely no consideration for those with addictions. It's a lovers world out there, Prongs! A lovers world!" Sirius said; wide eyed and looking on the verge of a breakdown.
"Sirius, pull yourself together. There are many other forms of solid sustenance in the sea, and you will find the right one soon enough. But for now, you need something to block out the numb feeling we all have, Sirius, we all have. I suggest a rebound fling with these 'Froot Loop' fluzeys. You can learn to love again!" Cried Amanda, standing up with the intensity of the moment.
James sat, staring bemusedly at the completely insane scene unfolding before him. Wasn't he the one who had such delusions?
"Never again Amanda. I will never eat again." Said Sirius sternly. "I'm going to get ready for class." And with that he got up from the table and scurried off to recollect himself.
Sirius ignored Lily who greeted him on his way out as she was coming in. She wrinkled her nose in confusion but continued on to the table. "What's up with him?" She asked James.
James shook his head and said "Don't ask." He looked over pityingly at Amanda, who was weeping softly into her napkin. This was going to be a long day.
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Es Mio - Bessie is just some weird blue cow that keeps jumping in front of the camera when Jade and I write our chapters. Well so James tells us anyway; no one else can see her. We think James' brain was damaged when he and Lily had that little run in earlier.
marissa - deplorphient is one of my words. I get bored so i spin in some weird words that just pop into my head. In that instance, deplorphient means stupid.
JAVEY - Hey, I discussed this on some board somewhere ages ago, but I really dont remember any of the ideas presented. Lily could have been in Slytherin I guess, but I don't know, so her being in gryffindor certainly makes things a lot easier for jade and I! Hehe thank you for reviewing.
Thanks to everyone who reviewed! You are the APPLES of my and Jade's eyes. Have a great day all of you!
I wish also to express my condolences that Jade is unable to continue a puentant love affair with her favourite pink highlighter which she has just discovered an allergic reaction to.
PS: Guys I am so sorry! I am a loser who has not been able to write lately. Life seems to insist on getting in the way. That and my laziness.
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
He sat and stared at his jelly (or jello, wherever you live) and poked it with a spoon, smiling broadly. Finally he gave up, and pushed the plate away and skipped merrily back to the Gryffindor tower. He said the password and walked through, and what he saw there was an absolute shock.
Lily was sprawled on the floor below a hologram of a woman who looked to be around 40 years old, although she'd had a lot of plastic surgery so she could have been 98.
The woman had a slow, squarish voice that cut through the air at Lily, commanding her to do weird looking things.
Lily had a light sheen of sweat on her forehead and was throwing her legs in the air unsystematically on the woman's prompt. She was busy stretching and bending around like a loony, so she didn't notice James doubled over with silent laughter.
There was a loud bang as James fell to his knees and rolled sideways onto his back, and Lily jumped up immediately. She blushed furiously and vanished the since impatient looking hologram.
Lily stomped over to James' still limp form and kicked him gently in the ribs. "Ow!" He spat through his booming laughter. He rolled onto his back and crawled over to the couch to make himself more comfortable in his fit of mirth.
"What are you doing sneaking up on me like that James?" Asked Lily, her angry voice echoing off the walls. She was still blushing like mad.
"Ah, Lily! That was classic! Now let me explain something to you..." He said, starting to calm down slightly. "Generally, common rooms tend to be rather common. You know, people coming in and out constantly; a rather noticeable lack of privacy; that kinda thing. So if you decide to do...whatever THAT was in here, you should expect someone will catch you. I think you should be thanking me actually."
"What?! Thanking you? What on earth for?" Screeched Lily. "And for your information, everyone was at dinner and I was to be finished any second."
"Yeah right. You looked pretty caught up in...that." James said, grinning. "You should thank me for being me. How would you feel if some seventh year came in and caught you? I bet you'd feel tonnes worse. It's a great day to know me!"
"You are insufferable James. You really are." Said Lily exasperatedly. She flicked a piece of loose sweaty hair from her face and sighed.
"Oh you know you love me. Anyway, what were you doing?" asked James, smirking at the look in Lily's eyes.
"It's a muggle thing called Pilates. Just stretching and stuff...but that class was particularly vigorous." Huffed Lily. She took a sideways look at James who was still smirking. "Shut up. I don't want to hear it."
James feigned shock. "I wasn't going to say a word. It actually looks rather energising. Maybe you could teach me one day." Said James hopefully.
"Yeah you wish." Said Lily, smiling. "Well I'm going to get changed. I'll talk to you later." She then got up and left James, who was still laughing at the reaction of his friend.
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James arrived at the breakfast table the following morning to an utterly devastated Sirius. He was sitting next to Amanda who was clearly trying to console him.
"It's just not fair! How dare he introduce something to totally wonderful into our lives only to rip it away, never to be seen again in the next second! Oh, it had only begun! And now...never again."
"Oh honey, you will be okay in time. I know it's hard, and it will be hard for a long time yet, but you need to keep yourself on track. You can't starve. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day!" Amanda bit her lip. She too was feeling the loss of a much loved breakfast pastry.
"What's going on?" Ask James who was stuck between concern and amusement. Hiding this conflict however, James looked on attentively to his best friend's torment.
"He's a slut that's what he is. That whorish tease of a headmaster. How could he do this to me James? He has found himself a new fascination; Froot Loops. Froot Loops!?! What kind of a name is that!? The old man has absolutely no consideration for those with addictions. It's a lovers world out there, Prongs! A lovers world!" Sirius said; wide eyed and looking on the verge of a breakdown.
"Sirius, pull yourself together. There are many other forms of solid sustenance in the sea, and you will find the right one soon enough. But for now, you need something to block out the numb feeling we all have, Sirius, we all have. I suggest a rebound fling with these 'Froot Loop' fluzeys. You can learn to love again!" Cried Amanda, standing up with the intensity of the moment.
James sat, staring bemusedly at the completely insane scene unfolding before him. Wasn't he the one who had such delusions?
"Never again Amanda. I will never eat again." Said Sirius sternly. "I'm going to get ready for class." And with that he got up from the table and scurried off to recollect himself.
Sirius ignored Lily who greeted him on his way out as she was coming in. She wrinkled her nose in confusion but continued on to the table. "What's up with him?" She asked James.
James shook his head and said "Don't ask." He looked over pityingly at Amanda, who was weeping softly into her napkin. This was going to be a long day.
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Es Mio - Bessie is just some weird blue cow that keeps jumping in front of the camera when Jade and I write our chapters. Well so James tells us anyway; no one else can see her. We think James' brain was damaged when he and Lily had that little run in earlier.
marissa - deplorphient is one of my words. I get bored so i spin in some weird words that just pop into my head. In that instance, deplorphient means stupid.
JAVEY - Hey, I discussed this on some board somewhere ages ago, but I really dont remember any of the ideas presented. Lily could have been in Slytherin I guess, but I don't know, so her being in gryffindor certainly makes things a lot easier for jade and I! Hehe thank you for reviewing.
Thanks to everyone who reviewed! You are the APPLES of my and Jade's eyes. Have a great day all of you!