Author's Note: Do you know what is evil? Rugrats toothpaste is evil. It
burns...lots. Take heed.
My back is killing me...sitting hurts a lot so feel priveleged that I'm writing O_o I just lub you all so very much I felt you deserve a chapter.
Chapsticks taste really, really bad.
***
"Chloe just leave me alone!" Snapped Remus as he paced quickly across the grounds towards the Forbidden Forest. The desperate girl had been trailing him all week making nasal cooing noises, thinking she was being affectionate.
"Oh Remie just tell me where you are going! You seem very upset and I just need to know if you're okay..." Chloe trailed off. She was finding it very hard to walk as her high heels kept sinking into the soft ground.
"Even if I wasn't okay, it would be no business of yours. Now just go back into the castle and leave me alone!" Remus snarled before speeding up enough to leave behind a very crestfallen Chloe.
Without a backward glance, Remus made his swift way towards the darkest depths of the forest.
*
The lake was glowing beneath the setting sun as Lily and James spread out their blanket on the soft grass and sat down.
Lily opened her basket and pulled out an array of food she had gathered from the bustling pre-dinner kitchens.
"I have decided, that your diet is just not up to standard James." Began Lily, who appeared to be plotting her moves carefully. "So many apples and apple related food-stuffs simply cannot be good for you."
James sat, dumbstruck, as he waited for Lily to continue her well thought out speech.
"I propose we both cut down on our apple intake, and limit ourselves to one serving of apple a day. That includes apple pie, apple Danish, apple tarts, apple sauce, apple juice, apple quiche, apple goo, apple poptarts, apple mush, and apple flavoured sweets, fillings and room deodorisers." Lily ignored James' shocked expression, and continued. "Now I know this wont be easy for you, that's why we can do it together! It will be fun! In a...diet restricting way. And you needn't worry about feeling hungry because I have designed a custom eating plan for us to follow, incorporating much more variety."
"You are so lucky I love you, Lily Evans." Said James through gritted teeth.
Lily gave a happy smile before placing down a platter of assorted sandwiches, a jug of pineapple juice with glasses, a bowl of grapes, and a mixed variety of poptarts (Excluding of course, apple). James gave her an amusedly puzzled look when he spotted the last item. "Sirius isn't –totally- insane." Lily said before looking out at the lake and laughing.
"It'll soon be too cold to do this." Said James wistfully.
"Well I suppose we'd better make the most of it then." Lily laughed and popped a grape into her mouth.
***
Over the months that passed, it seemed every week threw them deeper into the midst of winter. Heavy rain set in with November, making Quidditch practice very difficult indeed.
On December first it began to snow lightly, and it appeared all of Gryffindor was huddled into the seemingly small common room. The fifth years had just endured a freezing day of mostly outdoor classes and some were quite damp. Having entered the common room early as it began to snow, they had claimed the best seats in front of the fire.
James was staring mindlessly into the fire while Lily scribbled to finish a three foot essay about advanced levitation. Sirius had visited the kitchens on his way upstairs and was now happily munching on a cherry flavoured poptart while Amanda giggled at him for no particular reason.
Gryffindors rarely saw Lupin anymore, as it seemed he had befriended Snape, much to the distaste of James and Sirius, and they now spent the majority of their time in the dungeons or on the far side of the lake.
Lily still had not lifted her deal with James about limiting his apple consumption. She was rather proud that he had been doing so well, that she allowed him to have two servings of apple every second day. Lily was however concerned as to whether she was doing the right thing for James, as these days he could be rather jumpy and irritable.
When this happened, James apologised profusely and said he was just trying to deal with the constant cravings.
Lily had often found James having a heart to heart with Sirius about his addiction, and she was happy that James had someone to relate to and support him.
James snapped out of his reverie, and smiled as he watched Lily bite her lip as she bent over her parchment. She was always so thorough in everything she did; especially school work.
She was suddenly interrupted however by a loud bang, accompanied by a stream of laughter coming from a group of third years in the corner. Lily made an indignant noise and threw down her quill.
James immediately moved behind Lily and began to massage her shoulders.
"You're working too hard Lily. You need a break." Said James in a motherly tone.
"I need to finish this essay!" Shrieked Lily. Her eyes were wide and she looked on the verge of collapsing.
"I'll make you a deal. Come for a little walk with me, then we'll go to the library to finish our homework without all this noise." Reasoned James.
Lily sighed. "Okay. Just let me get my bag." She hurried upstairs and left James, who cursed at the realisation that he now had to do homework.
*
After spending approximately two hours in the library, Lily and James pulled their weary bodies down to the great hall to have some dinner.
The house elves had begun to serve winter food, so they both stocked up on soup and casseroles. Sirius, Amanda, Chloe and Renee soon arrived; all looking very restless from being cooped up in the common room.
"Where have you two been?" asked Renee who was giggly insanely. Chloe slapped her and shot a pointed look towards the sausages.
Lily, catching Chloe's drift, gave a grunt of disgust. "Honestly, you two should stop reading those stupid magazines and get some exercise or something! There is not enough blood flowing to your brains." The girls were still smiling guiltily as Lily ignored them and returned to her dinner.
When the deserts arrived, it was all James could do to not jump on the tabletop and shake his booty at everyone. There was apple pie with whipped cream everywhere, and it seemed no one in the hall wanted to miss out. Lily gave him a nervous look, and passed him a plate of spotted dick. James turned up his nose and said, "I think I'll just go and finish some of that homework we were doing." He hurried out of the hall before Lily could comment.
Figuring he wanted some time alone, Lily continued with her dessert of choice, listening into the slightly disturbing conversations around her.
*
James was no where to be seen when Lily returned to the common room half an hour later, and she was slightly concerned given the state he was in earlier.
"Sirius, have you seen James?" She asked. Sirius saw the look in her eyes, and was immediately concerned.
"No, I thought he would have told you where he was going?" Lily sighed. She was just being hyper-vigilant. James could look after himself, and it was only 8pm anyway.
"Never mind. He just seemed a little upset when he left."
***
"Who's hair did you get?" asked a sceptical boy who had dark circles under his eyes.
"I don't know exactly. Just some nobody from Hogsmeade." Replied a slimy slime ball.
"This will take a lot more planning. As well as the time it takes for the Polyjuice potion to take effect. We cannot afford to slip up." Said Lupin, beginning to pace the dark room.
"No one wants this more than I, Lupin. You have no idea how much I detest James potter. It is however, up to you to attain the weapon." Said Snape. He had a look of malice in his eyes which was reflected in the steaming cauldron below him.
"I've taken care of it." Responded Lupin before leaving the dungeon.
***
By nine thirty Lily was worried sick. She'd searched the Library, astronomy towers, lake, his special place, Quidditch pitch and change rooms, dungeons and bathrooms before curfew had been activated. She was now sitting twiddling her thumbs in front of the common room fire.
Her insides were writhing as she suddenly had an idea; "Sirius, where does James keep his cloak?"
Sirius showed her into the dormitory and opened James' trunk with the key he knew was in James' sock drawer.
Lily didn't know whether to be distraught or relieved that his invisibility cloak lay neatly folded on top of his clothes. Lily took a moment to smile fondly at the cute little red quaffle socks she saw, but immediately regained herself and grabbed the cloak.
She looked at Sirius who was munching a Lemon Meringue flavoured poptart. Lily suddenly burst out laughing and kissed Sirius on the cheek. "That's it!" she cried, before hurrying downstairs and out of the common room leaving behind a very confuddled Sirius.
*
James' head was flat on the wooden table. He was moaning and occasionally snoring. There was a posse of house elves gathered around him with their pokin' sticks, trying to wake him up.
Lily took pity on his pathetic form and cleared her throat. James jumped and stared around wildly looking for the source of the noise.
"Well, well, well James Potter. Look at the mess you've made." James' jaw dropped as he whispered, "Lily?" still looking blankly around the spotless room.
Lily giggled as she pulled off the invisibility cloak, revealing herself to him. The congregated elves gasped and scurried away. "Well? You can't expect these poor elves to clean up after you all the time."
James suddenly remembered where he was, and looked down at the table beneath him which was laden with apple pie, apple Danish, apple tarts, apple sauce, apple juice, apple quiche, apple goo, apple poptarts, apple mush, and apple flavoured sweets, fillings and room deodorisers.
"Having a little binge are we, dear?" Asked Lily, her mouth twitching slightly. James' eyes grew downcast and he frowned.
"I'm sorry Lily, I suck. I know how important this was to you...I am a weak, weak man!" James sniffed at the gabselinity of his speech. Lily fought the urge to laugh; he looked so cute while acutely depressed.
"Honey, it's okay. I was a fool to try and change you. I love you, apples or none." He looked up at her and grinned his Cheshire cat grin. Lily sat down next to him and stared at all the appleish foods.
She picked up an apple tart and seductively began to nibble at it. James who was rather shocked at her reaction, dipped a finger into a nearby bowl of whipped cream and dabbed it on Lily's nose. She gasped as James leaned over to lick it off.
And as James began to kiss her, all Lily could think was how glad she felt that it was a Friday.
***
Author's Note: YES!!! *FADE TO BLACK!!!* WOOHOO!!!!!! I feel so accepted...I am now officially a member of the PG community of FanFiction. Remember kids...ALWAYS fade to black.
My back is killing me...sitting hurts a lot so feel priveleged that I'm writing O_o I just lub you all so very much I felt you deserve a chapter.
Chapsticks taste really, really bad.
***
"Chloe just leave me alone!" Snapped Remus as he paced quickly across the grounds towards the Forbidden Forest. The desperate girl had been trailing him all week making nasal cooing noises, thinking she was being affectionate.
"Oh Remie just tell me where you are going! You seem very upset and I just need to know if you're okay..." Chloe trailed off. She was finding it very hard to walk as her high heels kept sinking into the soft ground.
"Even if I wasn't okay, it would be no business of yours. Now just go back into the castle and leave me alone!" Remus snarled before speeding up enough to leave behind a very crestfallen Chloe.
Without a backward glance, Remus made his swift way towards the darkest depths of the forest.
*
The lake was glowing beneath the setting sun as Lily and James spread out their blanket on the soft grass and sat down.
Lily opened her basket and pulled out an array of food she had gathered from the bustling pre-dinner kitchens.
"I have decided, that your diet is just not up to standard James." Began Lily, who appeared to be plotting her moves carefully. "So many apples and apple related food-stuffs simply cannot be good for you."
James sat, dumbstruck, as he waited for Lily to continue her well thought out speech.
"I propose we both cut down on our apple intake, and limit ourselves to one serving of apple a day. That includes apple pie, apple Danish, apple tarts, apple sauce, apple juice, apple quiche, apple goo, apple poptarts, apple mush, and apple flavoured sweets, fillings and room deodorisers." Lily ignored James' shocked expression, and continued. "Now I know this wont be easy for you, that's why we can do it together! It will be fun! In a...diet restricting way. And you needn't worry about feeling hungry because I have designed a custom eating plan for us to follow, incorporating much more variety."
"You are so lucky I love you, Lily Evans." Said James through gritted teeth.
Lily gave a happy smile before placing down a platter of assorted sandwiches, a jug of pineapple juice with glasses, a bowl of grapes, and a mixed variety of poptarts (Excluding of course, apple). James gave her an amusedly puzzled look when he spotted the last item. "Sirius isn't –totally- insane." Lily said before looking out at the lake and laughing.
"It'll soon be too cold to do this." Said James wistfully.
"Well I suppose we'd better make the most of it then." Lily laughed and popped a grape into her mouth.
***
Over the months that passed, it seemed every week threw them deeper into the midst of winter. Heavy rain set in with November, making Quidditch practice very difficult indeed.
On December first it began to snow lightly, and it appeared all of Gryffindor was huddled into the seemingly small common room. The fifth years had just endured a freezing day of mostly outdoor classes and some were quite damp. Having entered the common room early as it began to snow, they had claimed the best seats in front of the fire.
James was staring mindlessly into the fire while Lily scribbled to finish a three foot essay about advanced levitation. Sirius had visited the kitchens on his way upstairs and was now happily munching on a cherry flavoured poptart while Amanda giggled at him for no particular reason.
Gryffindors rarely saw Lupin anymore, as it seemed he had befriended Snape, much to the distaste of James and Sirius, and they now spent the majority of their time in the dungeons or on the far side of the lake.
Lily still had not lifted her deal with James about limiting his apple consumption. She was rather proud that he had been doing so well, that she allowed him to have two servings of apple every second day. Lily was however concerned as to whether she was doing the right thing for James, as these days he could be rather jumpy and irritable.
When this happened, James apologised profusely and said he was just trying to deal with the constant cravings.
Lily had often found James having a heart to heart with Sirius about his addiction, and she was happy that James had someone to relate to and support him.
James snapped out of his reverie, and smiled as he watched Lily bite her lip as she bent over her parchment. She was always so thorough in everything she did; especially school work.
She was suddenly interrupted however by a loud bang, accompanied by a stream of laughter coming from a group of third years in the corner. Lily made an indignant noise and threw down her quill.
James immediately moved behind Lily and began to massage her shoulders.
"You're working too hard Lily. You need a break." Said James in a motherly tone.
"I need to finish this essay!" Shrieked Lily. Her eyes were wide and she looked on the verge of collapsing.
"I'll make you a deal. Come for a little walk with me, then we'll go to the library to finish our homework without all this noise." Reasoned James.
Lily sighed. "Okay. Just let me get my bag." She hurried upstairs and left James, who cursed at the realisation that he now had to do homework.
*
After spending approximately two hours in the library, Lily and James pulled their weary bodies down to the great hall to have some dinner.
The house elves had begun to serve winter food, so they both stocked up on soup and casseroles. Sirius, Amanda, Chloe and Renee soon arrived; all looking very restless from being cooped up in the common room.
"Where have you two been?" asked Renee who was giggly insanely. Chloe slapped her and shot a pointed look towards the sausages.
Lily, catching Chloe's drift, gave a grunt of disgust. "Honestly, you two should stop reading those stupid magazines and get some exercise or something! There is not enough blood flowing to your brains." The girls were still smiling guiltily as Lily ignored them and returned to her dinner.
When the deserts arrived, it was all James could do to not jump on the tabletop and shake his booty at everyone. There was apple pie with whipped cream everywhere, and it seemed no one in the hall wanted to miss out. Lily gave him a nervous look, and passed him a plate of spotted dick. James turned up his nose and said, "I think I'll just go and finish some of that homework we were doing." He hurried out of the hall before Lily could comment.
Figuring he wanted some time alone, Lily continued with her dessert of choice, listening into the slightly disturbing conversations around her.
*
James was no where to be seen when Lily returned to the common room half an hour later, and she was slightly concerned given the state he was in earlier.
"Sirius, have you seen James?" She asked. Sirius saw the look in her eyes, and was immediately concerned.
"No, I thought he would have told you where he was going?" Lily sighed. She was just being hyper-vigilant. James could look after himself, and it was only 8pm anyway.
"Never mind. He just seemed a little upset when he left."
***
"Who's hair did you get?" asked a sceptical boy who had dark circles under his eyes.
"I don't know exactly. Just some nobody from Hogsmeade." Replied a slimy slime ball.
"This will take a lot more planning. As well as the time it takes for the Polyjuice potion to take effect. We cannot afford to slip up." Said Lupin, beginning to pace the dark room.
"No one wants this more than I, Lupin. You have no idea how much I detest James potter. It is however, up to you to attain the weapon." Said Snape. He had a look of malice in his eyes which was reflected in the steaming cauldron below him.
"I've taken care of it." Responded Lupin before leaving the dungeon.
***
By nine thirty Lily was worried sick. She'd searched the Library, astronomy towers, lake, his special place, Quidditch pitch and change rooms, dungeons and bathrooms before curfew had been activated. She was now sitting twiddling her thumbs in front of the common room fire.
Her insides were writhing as she suddenly had an idea; "Sirius, where does James keep his cloak?"
Sirius showed her into the dormitory and opened James' trunk with the key he knew was in James' sock drawer.
Lily didn't know whether to be distraught or relieved that his invisibility cloak lay neatly folded on top of his clothes. Lily took a moment to smile fondly at the cute little red quaffle socks she saw, but immediately regained herself and grabbed the cloak.
She looked at Sirius who was munching a Lemon Meringue flavoured poptart. Lily suddenly burst out laughing and kissed Sirius on the cheek. "That's it!" she cried, before hurrying downstairs and out of the common room leaving behind a very confuddled Sirius.
*
James' head was flat on the wooden table. He was moaning and occasionally snoring. There was a posse of house elves gathered around him with their pokin' sticks, trying to wake him up.
Lily took pity on his pathetic form and cleared her throat. James jumped and stared around wildly looking for the source of the noise.
"Well, well, well James Potter. Look at the mess you've made." James' jaw dropped as he whispered, "Lily?" still looking blankly around the spotless room.
Lily giggled as she pulled off the invisibility cloak, revealing herself to him. The congregated elves gasped and scurried away. "Well? You can't expect these poor elves to clean up after you all the time."
James suddenly remembered where he was, and looked down at the table beneath him which was laden with apple pie, apple Danish, apple tarts, apple sauce, apple juice, apple quiche, apple goo, apple poptarts, apple mush, and apple flavoured sweets, fillings and room deodorisers.
"Having a little binge are we, dear?" Asked Lily, her mouth twitching slightly. James' eyes grew downcast and he frowned.
"I'm sorry Lily, I suck. I know how important this was to you...I am a weak, weak man!" James sniffed at the gabselinity of his speech. Lily fought the urge to laugh; he looked so cute while acutely depressed.
"Honey, it's okay. I was a fool to try and change you. I love you, apples or none." He looked up at her and grinned his Cheshire cat grin. Lily sat down next to him and stared at all the appleish foods.
She picked up an apple tart and seductively began to nibble at it. James who was rather shocked at her reaction, dipped a finger into a nearby bowl of whipped cream and dabbed it on Lily's nose. She gasped as James leaned over to lick it off.
And as James began to kiss her, all Lily could think was how glad she felt that it was a Friday.
***
Author's Note: YES!!! *FADE TO BLACK!!!* WOOHOO!!!!!! I feel so accepted...I am now officially a member of the PG community of FanFiction. Remember kids...ALWAYS fade to black.