I am a bad, bad person. The end.
James stood, rooted to the spot. Icy cold dread spread through his body and his heart began to race. Lily's eyes were blazing angrily, demanding an answer from the horror-struck boy.
The other boys in the dormitory realised the enormity of the situation, and immediately sidled their way passed the unflinchingly furious Lily and out the door, leaving James to greet his demise.
Lily stormed closer to James, still silent. James gulped audibly once again. He was sweating from every pore now and his knees began to tremble.
James tried to stutter something, but it just came out as a squeak. Lily, feeling sickened at his pathetic display, spoke.
"Explain yourself you ass hat!" She demanded, her voice searing through James.
"I...I..." He stammered. He obviously had no excuse. Lily grunted.
"You haven't changed one bit James Potter. I was a fool to ever think you could." She said these last words in a deadly quiet voice.
Lily turned to leave the room. James sunk down onto his bed in total shock. Lily let out an angry screech from the doorway and picked up a lamp from the table which she promptly hurled at James.
She missed by several metres, but as she exited the dormitory, James saw the tears running down her face and cursed himself for being such a prick.
Lily arrived half an hour later at the breakfast table with red puffy eyes. Chloe, Renee and Amanda took a moment from their frivolous giggling and gasped in concern for their friend.
Amanda jumped up, a quizzical look on her face as she tried to read Lily's expression. Lily remained silent and she sat down and began to fiddle with a napkin, appearing to have no intention of eating.
Chloe and Renee immediately rounded on her and watched her numbly fiddle with the napkin, trying determinedly not to cry.
Amanda seated herself on the other side of the table and leant over to Lily. "What's happened?" She asked, already assuming it must have something to do with James.
Lily took a deep breath and sniffed. "James is stupid and gay and a whore." She said, pouting, not moving her intent gaze from the napkin she held in her hands.
Amanda and Chloe exchanged apprehensive yet slightly confused glances. "What has he done, Lily?" Asked Renee cautiously.
"I caught him..." Lily trailed off, not wanting to relive the moment so soon.
Realising this, the three girls burst out with suggestions of their own;
"Making out with someone else?" offered Amanda.
"Listening to Abba?" asked Renee.
"Dancing around in a leopard skin G-string and bra?" Chimed Chloe.
"While listening to Abba?" Added Renee.
It was difficult to determine whether Lily's next sound was a laugh or a wail, but since she was now bashing her head continuously into the table, they assumed the latter.
"He told them all that we had sex!!!" She screamed, causing quite a few heads to turn in their direction.
Renee and Chloe made clucking-meowing-quacking noises and threw their arms around Lily.
Amanda, who was focusing on the large amount of unwanted attention they were receiving, announced accordingly; "Nothing to see here people, just carry on with your daily duties. Some people take it harder than others when the butter isn't the right temperature...Move it along."
Lily was now crying and babbling incoherently, causing even more concern from Renee and Chloe considering that Lily was usually such a stable girl.
Amanda jumped up from the table and walked around to her friends. "Let's just go back up to the dormitory and hang out today, huh?" She smiled uncertainly at Lily.
"I don't want to go there...He's there" She said with a disgusted look on her face.
"Why don't we just find somewhere nice to stay outside for the day? Somewhere no one will see us?" Suggested Chloe.
Amanda thought for a second, and then agreed. "Yeah, good idea. Lily and I will go get some stuff from the kitchens, and you girls can get whatever else we may need."
The girls divided and set off on their respective missions.
James hadn't moved from his position when Sirius cautiously entered the dormitory. He silently waddled over to where James was sitting, head in hands, and sat down next to him.
"I'm dead." Said James simply. Sirius, who chose not to state that James was being rather melodramatic, simply sighed.
"So I take it Lily didn't want people to know?" Asked Sirius hopefully, trying to assess the whole situation. James let out a nasally gobble and leapt up from his seat.
"Nothing happened!" He yelled, throwing his arms out as he paced the intricately decorate carpet. "I just got so carried away in the moment and...stretched the truth slightly." Sirius also thought it was best not to point out that what he'd said wasn't just a simple slip of the tongue.
"What are you going to do?" He asked instead. James stopped pacing and pondered for a moment.
"There's nothing I can do. Not now anyway. I have no idea where she stands on this whole thing or what she wants to do...It's up to her." James replied.
They both sat in silence thinking about how Lily would take this. "I'm dead!" James repeated, nervously running his hands through his hair.
"Look, just get through today. You'll see how she's treating you, then this afternoon maybe you could talk. And if worse comes to worse, Mister Banjo's been asking about you." Reasoned Sirius.
"We should only get the essentials...wouldn't want to get caught stealing food as well as skipping class." Asserted Amanda. Lily just nodded dumbly and followed Amanda around the kitchen.
Amanda pulled open the pantry and inspected her findings. "I don't think we'll be needing any apples..." She muttered to herself, not quietly enough it seemed; Lily let out a small sob behind her.
Covering her carelessness, Amanda spun around and grinned nervously; "Where are those elves? We'll get them to fix us some sandwiches..."
Amanda and Lily emerged ten minutes later to find Chloe standing in the entrance hall with Renee, who was sporting a rather large bump around her mid-section.
"Oh Renee! Shall I begin knitting pink or blue booties?" cooed Amanda on spotting her engorged cloak. Renee gave her a seething look and Chloe laughed.
"All set?" she asked, glancing nervously at Lily who was chewing her bottom lip and staring into space somewhere towards the dungeons.
"Yup, we're all sandwiched up. Lets go." Declared Amanda, who led the way out of the oak doors and into the grounds.
"She's not here. Where do you think she is?" James asked Sirius. Sirius gave James a pitying look as he surveyed his friends' tutuelephantian (A/N: adjective) dancing on the spot.
"You need to calm down. None of them are here. That would lead us to believe they are all together and perfectly sound. Never fear." Sirius assured his spaced out friend who was now testing the velocity of the wall behind him with a small yet enchantingly beautiful teaspoon.
There was five minutes until classes were to start. James and Sirius were standing outside the astronomy tower waiting for professor Wretzky to arrive. James felt rather dizzy after avoiding the great hall which just happened to be filled with a smorgasbord of breakfast foods this morning, and was highly dreading the rest of the day.
"Where can we go? The lake's definitely off limits...too many classrooms overlook it. And all the gardens are too exposed..." Murmured Chloe anxiously.
The girls thought for a moment. It was Lily who spoke next. "I know a place. Just on the edge of the forest. No one will see us there." She said in a monotone, still staring somewhere off centre.
"Come on then. We'd better hurry, class starts any minute now." Said Amanda, and Lily lead the way to what used to be her and James' sacred space.
Once arrived, Chloe disrobed Renee and pulled out their old picnic rug, and a blazing red book entitled "108 reasons to hate men" by Boshnida Spork.
Amanda wrinkled her nose and gave the girls a quizzical look. "We thought it might be...interesting." Said Chloe, before shooting another nervous glance at Lily who had settled herself on the large boulder and wasn't paying attention.
Renee crossed her legs and began to flip through the book. Chloe sprawled herself out over the rug and waited for Renee to speak, while Amanda leant up against Lily's rock and inspected her hands.
"Reason number one: Men always assume that women assume that men should assume what women assume." Read Renee crespatially. She suddenly realised what she had just read and furrowed her brow.
Chloe laughed and Amanda huffed, shooting a harsh stare at Renee. "That had better be rock bottom."
Renee bit her lip and flipped quickly through the book. Meeting Amanda's gaze again, she thought it wisest just to set the book aside.
There were a few moments of nearly awkward silence in which the girls whose names are not Lily looked uneasily at each other. Chloe sat up and clapped her hands. "Right ladies, let's stop this teaspoon dance and get down to business. Lily, do you want to talk about what happened? How you feel? What you'd like to impale James with? How this tragedy may affect your colour scheme? Anything?" She inquired with a corporate manner.
Lily made eye contact for the first time this morning and looked up at Chloe with a contemplative expression. "No, I don't want to talk about. I feel that our even-numbered destiny weaver doesn't excel in reflective discussions. Perhaps we could find something to adequately distract me from the crippling rage I feel threatening to detonate. Any takers?"
Remember kids: For those who smoke; the funny noses are indeed flammable... Now, fire is funny, but a flaming clown is not funny.