12 Ways To Go Insane
Disclaimer: I do own these people! I DOOOOOOO….no I don't.
Summary: Blah blah smargy woo! See first chap.
A/Nz: eR ii Ca: hEyYy !! Wed like to take this time ::drawls on endlessly with formality:: to thank SilverHawk 27 and Pisces Chick for being our first reviewers!!! Hehehe, you have now become part of the 'We Love You' group. ::smothers reader(s) with cookies and puppies cuz I'm so nice like that::
Super Shayde: Fine, the poptarts'll lay off on you..FOR NOW!
eR ii Ca: Oh, and James won't sing to you….YET. mufwafwafwafwafwafwafwa…
…fwa.
Chapter 2- Shakespeare and Water Guns
--Sirius—
"Hey, Prongs!" Sirius Black called to his friend in amazement, "It's a sign of the Apocalypse!"
"I know, isn't it amazing? People send letters!" James snorted, flipping through a book of Quidditch tactics.
"Its from Evans, you idiot." Sirius scowled.
James, who had been laying stomach-down on his bed, dropped the book on the floor and rolled off the bed, crashing to the floor in what seemed a quite painful manner.
"B-bu-BUT WHY DID SHE WRITE TO YOU??" James yelled, horrified. "Why not me!? I sent her the song-o-gram!"
"Um, mate? Maybe that's why she didn't write to you." Sirius suggested airily, not paying much attention to the large scowl on James' face.
"So she writes to you – why?" James demanded.
"Who wouldn't want to write to me?" Sirius asked, quite seriously, as he tore open the letter.
He scanned it quickly, his eyes widening in surprise as a prank came into his head.
He tried to look nonplussed. "She wants to invite me over for the rest of the hols." Sirius said, watching the color drain from James' face in a quite amused manner.
"You berk," James said rather shakily, "You're lying."
"No," Sirius said breezily, "No, not a joke."
"Read it," James grunted.
"Dear Sirius,
How are you? I hope you're doing well. I am, most fortunately, allowed to invite you to my home! As well, Dorcas and Alice will be there, and my kind, generous sister and her even nicer friends, in addition to her wonderful, selfless boyfriend and his positively charming compatriots. You're the most intelligent person I have ever known!
-Lily Evans." Sirius read – or, more correctly, made up what he was reading – smugly.
James was shaking. "You're – you're lying!"
"Well, okay. She didn't write that intelligent thing. But she really did invite me over." He said.
James looked ready to kill, however, he was interrupted by none other than his own owl, which had gone to deliver the song-o-gram earlier that day.
The owl swooped in and dropped a letter on his head. James grabbed the sealed envelope and said mystically, "She ACTUALLY replied this time." Then aquired a dreamy face and went silent, just staring at it.
"Yes James," Sirius snorted, "Her beautiful, eloquent, insulting words have touched your scalp. You may die happy now."
"I must read it!" James cried, jumping up, "Who knows what kind of beautiful insult is enclosed in this paper container?"
"Not I," Sirius snickered.
"Shut it," James growled, tearing the envelope open but careful not to rip the letter.
Potter-
Before you get all misty-eyed over the fact I'm writing to you, get these things into your head.
You are NOT a good singer.
What I'm about to say is NOT my idea.
I do NOT enjoy writing to you.
Anyway, my mum found your song amusing and decided that she wants to meet you. So, I'm being forced to invite you and Black over. I'm also inviting Alice and Dorcas. Oh, and it's my absolute pleasure to mention that you will be forced to spend time with my sister, her two dumb minions, her atrocious boyfriend, and a friend of his. So, I do hope you'll enjoy them EVER so much. Send me an owl not a singing one either about whether you can come.
-Unfortunately,
Lily Evans.
"She liked the singing!" James cried, "She wants more!"
"James," started Sirius, "I know you're my best mate, and that my loyalty should lay to you, but I'm saving the poor girl. SHE DOESN'T WANT MORE SINGING LETTERS!" he said.
When that did not seem to go through, he said, "But James! If you send another one…she might get upset and never write to you again!"
This seemed to hit home, and he said, "Fine. No singing letters." Before sulking.
Sirius dove over James' shoulder to read the letter. "Her mum wants you to sing."
At this, James snatched Sirius' letter from his hands and read it.
"HEY!! SHE SAID I WAS INVITED TOO IN YOUR LETTER YOU LIAR!" he shouted angrily, quite relieved that Sirius' version of the letter was fake.
Sirius just looked at him. "Your point?" he asked quizzically after a minute.
James shrugged and said, "Wanna go downstairs and get some food?" Sirius nodded and they walked out of the room, Sirius' letter laying forgotten on the bed, and James, still holding it.
((A/n: eR ii Ca: Isn't he so lovesick? ))
"So, mate…" Sirius started, "Are you going to go? Good opportunity for pranking…"
"And there's going to be Lily," James added in an urgent tone.
"Yes, dear Lils too," Sirius muttered, smirking. "As well as that sister of hers, seems a right pain."
"Lily does not deserve such a sibling," James sighed.
"Okay. WHAT. IS WITH. THE SHAKESPEARE?" Sirius yelled.
"Um, what's a Snakepear?" James asked stupidly.
"Muggle author from a couple hundred years ago or something. I read about him once to piss off Bellatrix." Sirius replied, shrugging, then re-enacted a scene. He mimicked in a squeaky voice, "Oh, James, James, where for art thou James?"
"…Next to you," James said, puzzled.
"Oh, whatever. Talk about it with Remus or something if you really care," Sirius snorted.
But at the smell of Mrs. Potter's food in the kitchen, and her call of, "Lunch!", the two boys rushed the rest of the way downstairs and practically tackled each other to get into their seats.
--Lily—
Lily sighed and moved from her spot at the window, still praying furiously that neither James nor Sirius could make it.
'Wouldn't that be lovely?' she thought as she made her way to her closet to get some clothes.
Grabbing a dark green camisole and a pair of shorts, she ran to the bathroom to get changed.
She grabbed a brush and ran it through her thick, dark red hair, trying to hurry so that she could go see some of her muggle friends from down the street.
She applied the minimum amount of make-up, brushed her teeth, threw on some shoes and practically ran out the door, shouting to her mother that she was going to see Daniel, Linda, Elise and Hunter.
She slowed to a walk when she got outside, although it was a rather quick pace.
Reaching the destination, she went up to the door and knocked loudly. A rather short girl with light brown hair opened and Lily yelled, "ELISE!" happily before embracing the girl heartily.
Elise smiled widely and said, "Hold on, I'll go get Hunter, then we can pick up everyone else!"
Lily nodded and waited for about two minutes before a sort of tall boy ran out the door and embraced her. She laughed and said, "Hunter, get off before I choke!"
He let go of her and said, "Good! Maybe if you choke, they won't send you back to that boarding school and we can all see you during times OTHER than Summer!"
She shook her head and smiled again, saying happily, "Let's go get Dan and Linda."
They nodded and the three walked across the street, going to Number 27 and knocking on the door.
Linda's mother opened the door and said, "Lily! Linda's missed you so much, oh hold on, I'll go get her."
"LINDA!" her mother called up the staircase. "LILY, ELISE, AND HUNTER ARE HERE!"
There was a shriek, followed by a crash, some pounding footsteps, and then the 14-year-old black-haired girl appeared, jumping down the staircase as though she were in an Indiana Jones movie.
She nearly tackled Lily to the ground in an embrace and when they finally released each other from their Vulcan-Death-Grip hugs, both were quite out of breath.
"Lily..I…" Linda gasped, barely able to breathe for a few minutes before continuing, "I missed you!"
"Me too," Lily said, grinning at the exuberant girl.
"Are we off to Dan's then?" Elise asked, smiling.
"But he's annoying," Linda pouted.
"You know he grows on you," Hunter replied.
"Does not!" Linda argued.
Lily couldn't help snickering at the two's argument as they rushed down the street. Strangely, the door opened before the bell was rung.
A boy with dusty brown hair opened the door himself and grinned before spraying everybody but Lily with his enormous watergun.
"You moron!" Elise screamed.
Hunter was laughing, though he sounded slightly irritated when he said, "How come you didn't shoot Lily?"
He shrugged before saying, "Welcome Home Gift?" rather airily.
Linda shrieked. "This is my new shirt!" she screamed, running up the little stairs to his door and practically tackling him down, though not completely affectionately.
"HEY!" Daniel cried as she started punching him half-heartedly.
"I – hate – you – so – much!" Linda shrieked, finally laying off of him before enveloping him in a death grip like with Lily.
"OW! This hurts more than your stupid punching!" Daniel grumbled.
Lily decided to change the subject and said, "By the way, some of my friends from boarding school are coming here. Tomorrow."
They all turned to look at her, shocked.
Hunter recovered first and said, "Oooh! So I get to meet your boyfriend?" in that annoying manner only friends can use.
She rolled her eyes and said, "No. 'Cause I don't have one. You get to meet two of my friends and my two mortal enemies."
The four muggles looked at each other oddly and said, "Um, why are you inviting your 'mortal enemies' to stay at your house?"
"Long story," she replied, "It was my mum's idea."
They all nodded pityingly, and Hunter said, "So, I get to meet your future boyfriend?"
A/N 2:
eR ii Ca: Don't you just love our characters to death!? P
Super Shayde: Tell what you think! REVIEW, REVIEW!! Plus, Hunter does NOT like Lily for future information. Tooooo cliched!!