AN: I have no clue where this came from. I wanted a fatherly Angel, not a lover. Though that doesn't bother me. I don't know where this is in seasons or anyting. If it's with soul or without. But it's a little drabble put in Angel's point of view. Enjoy.

His cerulean eyes watch me from a far under the veil of his blonde curls. He knows I like his hair naturally curly and long. It's why he wears it like that when I'm around. Not consciously, though. He'd never do anything for me anymore just because I liked it. He would do the opposite only to piss me off. He seemed to get off of pushing my buttons.

As he stares, I take a quick glance over, but he doesn't look away. Only because his eyes are glazed over and he's looking right through me. William's caught up in a memory. He's tearing at some skin that was on his thick bottom lip and his cigarette is just dangling from his fingers. He got that way when he was reliving his memories; just froze. I lick my lips as I wonder what he's thinking about.

If it is anything about the fight we had, then...

I take a deep breath and shake my head. We were fighting, yet again. But this time it went too far. Neither of us stopped before emotions, and other personal things, were exposed.

He was breathing real heavy after what he said reached his head. And it was hurting real bad deep down in my stomach. I wanted to comfort him. Wanted him to be able to comfort me, too. Go over to him and treat him like he I used to. Kiss all our many problems away. But he didn't want to be in the same room with me, let alone let me touch him.

It was selfish, though, to want to touch him. I was a souled vampire; I was suppose to feel pain. It was, after all, my redemption. Yet it didn't stop the ache that formed. But the words finally spoken did help him. My Will always did keep everything inside and let it build up until it destroyed him.

And apparently he misses me. Tears him up inside that I don't care.

Oh but I do care! He just can't tell because I'm not aloud to. Because the last Angelus I was, wasn't the true one. He was blinded by destruction and lust and he had been so horrible to Will. He hurt him so bad. Took the only person he had-Dru. So I don't have the right anymore to even hold Will's love.

Sometimes when we're not fighting, I try to force myself not to run my fingers through his gorgeous locks. Or to give those full, pouty lips a good purpose.

He also told me about how much he hated me. Even tried to stake himself over the memories that just wouldn't stop. I tried to conceal my absolute horror and shock over that fact. It made me feel nauseous at the time and just thinking about it now, made me want to turn up the blood that was in my stomach.

But I couldn't show that tears almost leaked out of my eyes when he said that, because that would show I care. And Will deserves so much better than me. He deserves a better life than what I gave him.

He's out of his memories now because he's exhaling the smoke from his dead lungs. I try not to look at him. I really do. But my eyes slyly glide over to him and we lock sight. He turns away first, pain hidden in the depths of his eyes.

I know he thinks I don't care. But I do. And he gives me another glance and I know he doesn't know. But if he asked me to, I'd lose my soul. If he wanted me to. I'd do anything for him.

If he only told me what he needed... I'd do anything.

Hm. Spangle is some good stuff, ya know? I think I'm going to write more Spangle. I have too many spawn fics. Anyway, go check out my Dawn Vs. Dracula fic. It's my new fav. R&R KC.