Disclaimer: I don't own Love Hina

Love Hina: Perverted Edition

Chapter three

Meet the New Resident: Sword Master Shinobu

Story Notes:

This story is going to follow like the original somewhat and if you have the anime you will see some familiar scenes. The first was the perverted edition of Keitaro meets Naru in the hot springs. This is going to be a Keitaro/Shinobu fic (if you haven't figured that already by the subtle clues that would lead one to that conclusion. Oh yeah does anyone here think that any of the other girls would have had a chance at Keitaro's heart if Shinobu was the same age as him. I don't think so. By the way, I have decided in the beginning that Kanako would be the loving sister to Keitaro and one of the pervert bashers. I have also decided that unlike the original anime which focused on Keitaro and the girl he liked. I personally didn't like the fact that the show focused on K and N and forgot the rest of the girls. Hey they deserve some love too. :D I will have other people getting paired up with the guys in Love Hina. Who will they be you ask? Well you will know when the time is right. There won't be much of the way of perversion in this chapter but this will show you what I meant by Kaolla Su the self proclaimed asshole.

Shinobu walked up to a bench and sat down and began to cry. She had just come home only to find some strange woman sleeping with her boyfriend. She couldn't believe that he would do such a thing to her. She tried to so much to make it all work only to find some strange woman taking her place. She ran out of the house unable to stand the sight and didn't even bother to let him to tell her his side of the story. She didn't want to hear some lame lies about what he was doing and she had told herself when she saw what he was doing that it was over. What was I supposed to do now? She no longer had a place to stay and she wouldn't be able to find a place to stay so quickly. Unbeknown to Shinobu, the answer to her question was about to walk up to her.

Keitaro was sitting on a bench on the other side of the bridge and when he saw Shinobu cry while sitting on the bench. He decided to walk over to see if he could help her.

I wonder what he is doing? He better not be trying to take advantage of me. I am not some weak helpless girl.

"Hey you mind if I take a seat here?"

"No. I don't mind." I wonder what he wants?

"Is there something bothering you?"

I don't believe someone feels like they have the right to play therapist with me.

He explains himself to her and at that point she burst into tears.

She explains to Keitaro what was bothering her and he comes up with an idea.

She thinks about it for a moment and to her he sounded so nice and thoughtful and since she was about to lose her current home wanted to check it out. "Let me do a few things and then I will stop up and take a look."

She waves him off as she returns home to where that man was waiting.

He tried to get her to stay but she had already made up her mind that if he couldn't be trusted now then he would never be faithful to her. She picked up her things, which by the way weren't much, and took off for the Hinata Sou.

MEANWHILE

Naru, Su, and Kitsune were in the kitchen trying to prepare a meal. Unfortunately for this household, these three couldn't cook a meal if their lives depended on it and to Kanako that was well pathetic to her.

Kanako watching on as the three stooges tried to cook something edible which even that looked to be difficult for the three.

"When I said cook a meal, I didn't say try to poison me, Naru." Kanako told Naru.

"Hey, why don't you cook something, huh?" Naru asked Kanako.

"I don't know how to cook much but at least I will admit it. You three told me you could cook so I said go ahead then." Kanako responded to Naru's question.

"You better not be trying to add any of your favorite spices, Su." Naru told Su.

Su, on the other hand, knew how to cook a meal but her problem was that she had to make everything very spicy and nobody did like that in the least bit. Of course since Su is an asshole who enjoys terrorizing her house mates, she snuck in a few bottles of spice and dumped them into what Naru was cooking.

"Well it is done, the Naru mystery surprise. You never know what you are gonna get." Naru proudly exclaims.

"I might not know what this "food" is but I know what I am gonna get from it. Sick." Kanako said.

They all tried some of that uh poison uh I mean food and well you guess what happens next. The three didn't notice anything at first and then it hit them like a ton of bricks.

"TOO SPICY!" They all yell as the spices start to kick in.

Running into the kitchen and fighting over the glasses for some water which they all drank until the burning sensation went away.

"Hey Naru come over here for a moment." Su motioned her over because she had something to say to her.

She whispered to Naru. "Hey you know what?"

"What?" Naru asked.

"How do you like my special spices? How do you like the raging inferno in your mouth? Ah ha ha ha ha!" Su told her with the intent to piss her off.

"You son of a bitch!" Naru screamed as she tried to hit her just like Su wanted her to do.

"Waah! Naru is trying to hit me." She played the innocent, helpless child act and that got Kanako's attention.

"How dare you try to hurt this helpless innocent girl?" Kanako yelled at Naru.

"But she was the one who ruined our dinner." Naru responded to Kanako's question.

"Oh you are now gonna blame Su for your apparent lack of common sense and cooking skills." Kanako wound her fist up and socked Naru in the face causing her to fly into the wall.

"The nerve of that girl. Are you all right Su?" Kanako asked Su.

"Yeah I am fine now. Su walked over to where Naru had landed from the Kanako punch and whispered something to her.

"So how did you like getting fucked?" Su smiled to Naru as she walked to where she was sitting before she got up.

Naru was in no condition to argue with her or attack her for her remarks and of course we all know that common sense dictates that she would just get hit again but when did Naru ever have common sense? She tried to hit Su again and Kanako responded with another beating.

Kanako walked over to her and asked her something.

"Do you enjoy getting beat up? If you keep doing this sort of stupid shit, I will be happy to oblige with a beating." Kanako tells Naru..

Kitsune then came up with a plan. "Hey lets go over to Haruka's house and maybe she can cook something up for us."

"Sure, I have had quite enough of Naru's "cooking." Let's go over to Haruka's house. Hey Naru why don't you watch as someone who knows what she is doing in the kitchen cook us you know food that looks and tastes like food." Kanako says to Naru.

It was at that moment, everyone heard a knock on the door.

Kanako walked over to the door and tried to open the door but it was locked. She unlocked the door and opened it revealing that it was Keitaro and a girl she never met before.

"Hello Kanako. Why was the door locked?" Keitaro asked Kanako.

"Hello Keitaro. Oh probably the stupid ass oh I mean Naru locked the door because she is well stupid. Who is this girl, Keitaro?" Kanako asked Keitaro.

"This is Shinobu Maehara. She is interested in staying at the Hinata Sou." Keitaro responds to Kanako's question.

"Oh that is just wonderful, Keitaro. Please come inside and wait here while I speak to the uh other tenets, ok." Kanako tells Keitaro and Shinobu as they walk inside.

"Yeah sure, no problem." Keitaro and Shinobu wait inside while Kanako goes to the kitchen where everyone has been cleaning up.

"Hey, listen up. We have a new potential tenet waiting in the lobby and we really could use having another tenet here so no stupid shit coming out of any of you and absolutely no acts of perversion." She looks at Naru when saying that. Kanako tells the residents.

"What are you talking about? I'm an innocent clean living girl who wouldn't do anything perverted." Kitsune starts to chuckle at what Naru had just said.

"What the hell are you laughing at, Kitsune?" Naru asked.

"Oh uh nothing." Does she really think anyone would believe the bullshit that is coming out of her mouth? Kitsune responds to Naru's question while thinking of how stupid does Naru think we all are.

Kanako and Keitaro show Shinobu around the house. They return back to where Shinobu was waiting earlier when Kanako had her little "talk."

"So what do you think of the place huh?" Kanako asked Shinobu.

"It looks like a wonderful place to stay. How much do you charge for rent here." Shinobu asked.

She tells her what the rate for rent is in the Hinata Sou.

She starts to look visibly upset. "I don't have that kind of money right now. I am sorry I wasted your time." Shinobu tries to walk out the door but someone barges in at the moment she was trying to leave.

It was him. That awful sorry excuse of a man who caused her so much pain. He must have tailed her to the Hinata Sou and one would guess was trying to get her to come back.

"What are you trying to do? You better get your ass back to the house before I get really pissed!" that person yelled at Shinobu.

"Hey you shouldn't talk like that to a sweet girl like that!" Keitaro scolded him for his poor choice of words and obnoxious behavior.

"Oh shut up you stupid idiot!" The man punched Keitaro in the stomach and he fell to the floor from the blow.

It was at this moment that something in Kanako's head just snapped. Was it from this man's total lack of respect for women? Or was it from the fact that he had just barged into her apartment complex unannounced and unwelcome while using such foul and disrespectful language?

Or was it from the fact that this man had not only insulted her brother for doing the right thing and then hitting him when he didn't like what Keitaro had told him? No those sort of things would have made her mad or angry but no different then catching someone doing something perverted.

"What gives you the right to do what you just did? You better calm down or else. . ." Kanako warns him.

"Ooh I am so scared. What is a wimpy little girl like you going to do, huh?" the man responds to Kanako's threat.

Doing all that was one thing that would get you hurt but doing what he just did and then egging her on like that is well suicide.

She stomped her feet as she walked towards the soon to be dead man.

"You!"

"You!"

"You!"

"ASSHOLE!" Kanako yells as she prepared to strike him for his total lack of respect.

She wound her fist and really slammed it into that person's face and he went skyrocketing into the wild blue yonder.

"The nerve of some people. That will show him who is the boss and who is the bitch in this house." Kanako yells as the man goes flying into the sky.

After showing him what she was capable of, she returned to what she was talking about before he showed up.

"I was hoping we could find someone to live here who can cook a decent meal." Kanako thought aloud to herself.

"Cook? Cooking is my speciality and I did a lot of that when my parents owned the Hinata Restaurant when I was younger." Shinobu perks up when she mentions needing someone who can cook.

"Well, maybe we can work something out that we can both live with." Kanako responds.

It was at this point that Naru played the old pervert trick of slipping on nothing and falling on top of Keitaro. While she was falling, she put her hand down Keitaro's pants and was feeling around for her favorite "plaything."

Kanako was about to unleash her fists on Naru but she didn't have to because Shinobu beat her to the punch.

"Special technique Hurricane Blade!" Shinobu yells as she attacked Naru.

Shinobu yelled as she unleashed a ki attack on that perverted idiotic girl who would best be described as the blond haired bitch who must like getting beat up and one would have the feeling that Kanako and Shinobu would have no problem giving them the beatings they must surely want.

A mass of wind resembling a hurricane picked up Naru and sent her flying up into the air. This skill that she used caught her eye.

"Hey if you help beat up the pervert in this house and cook the meals here, I will let you stay for free. I can't be everywhere and nobody here has any idea how to cook so we can use a person like you here in this house. So what do you say?" Kanako asks Shinobu.

The thought that someone would let her stay for free and only had to cook meals and help with the pervert control made her cry tears of happiness as she hugged Kanako and thanked her profusely for her generosity.

"Hey hey, don't get all mushy on me now." Kanako says to Shinobu.

"I am sorry, Kanako." Shinobu responds.

"Hey no problem. I am honored to have you in this house, Shinobu." Kanako says.

"Well this day ended on a good note for me. That is something I can get used to."Kanako thinks to herself.

But for two people this day was going to hell.

Naru was flying on the Kanako express when she passed over several old men from the Hinata council.

"Is it a plane?" Asked first old men.

"Is it a bird?" Asked the second old man.

"Nope, it is just a dumb fucker with no common sense." Said the third old man.

And a fourth one walked up to the three and asked a very good question.

"Which one?"

"Is there a difference?" Responded the three men.

They all laughed at the joke as Naru went flying across town but she wasn't the only one making a trip of her own.

That man circled the earth over and over again until it was the middle of the morning and he fell into a tree. He was cold, wet, tired, hungry, and covered in bird shit but that would be the least of his problems.

He fell into a tree and has he fell thorough the tree's branches which slowly tore off all of his clothing leaving him completely bareassed. That wouldn't be the largest problem he faced yet either.

He fell into the middle of a women's self defense class and the teacher was just about to instruct on how to defend oneself from a pervert when he fell to the ground.

The group heard the sound of the man's screams and what they found was a naked man on the ground next to a tree.

"Now class, some of the perverts like to hide in trees looking to get their cheap thrills. Now using what you have been taught attempt to catch and punish the pervert." The teacher tells her students.

The man opened up his eyes to the sight of thirty angry women who looked ready to kill.

The man had only thing going through his mind at this one particular moment.

I AM SO FUCKED!

End of chapter three

Next chapter

Chapter four

Naru and the kendo girl looking for true love or easy sex

Do I have to tell you the answer to this question?

oh yeah one thing would be nice

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