AAARG! OK! I know ive been gone for a while. This is for you many random humor fans. I hope you are happy. ANOTHER Linkin Park song in here. Yaaaaaay!
The Princess of Darkness
Chapter 6: The Capricio Spell
The next Saturday Faye, Bunifa, Harry, Ron, and Hermione sat in a circle outside. Ron had asked Faye and Bunifa to give them another taste of muggle music. Faye took her Linkin Park CD out of her duffel bag and put it into her CD player. She turned her CD player into a boom box. Bunifa whispered a song to her. After setting up the right song, they stood up.
A Japanese flute played...and the song started. Faye and Bunifa sang (and rapped) along.
Yo, pick the style and the kids are checkin for it
the number one question is how can you ignore it?
And drop right back in the cut over basement tracks and rap stack got you backin us up like
Rewind that
We're just rollin with the rhythem, rise from the ashes of stylistic division
With these non stoping lyrics of life and life livin' not to be forgotten, still unforgivin
But in the meantime, there are those who wanna talk this and that, so what?
Suppose that it gets to a point where feelings gotta get hurt, and get dirty with the people
spreadin the dirt? It goes...
Tried to give you warning
but everyone ignores me
Told you everything loud and clear
But nobody's listening
Called to you so clearly
but you dont wanna hear me
Told you everything loud and clear
But nobody's listening
I gotta heart full of pain
Head full of stress
Hand full of anger held in my chest
And everything left is a waste of time
Hate my rhymes, but I hate everyone elses more
I'm ridin on the back of this pressure, guessin that its better I cant keep myself
together
Because all of this stress gave me something to ride on, the pain gave me something I could set my sights on Never forget the blood, sweat and tears, the uphill struggle over years, I fear it Trash talking and the people it was to, and the people that started it, just like you
Tried to give you warning, but everyone ignores me Told you everything loud and clear But nobody's listening Called to you so clearly, but you don't want to hear me Told you everything loud and clear But nobody's listening
by now a small croud gathered around to watch the two dance and rap. Draco, wanting to know what all the rucus was about, walked over to see.
I got a heart full of pain, head full of stress Hand full of anger, Held in my chest Uphill struggle, blood, sweat and tears Nothing to gain, everything to fear Heart full of pain, head full of stress Hand full of anger, Held in my chest Uphill struggle, blood, sweat and tears Nothing to gain, everything to fear Heart full of pain...
Tried to give you warning, but everyone ignores me Told you everything loud and clear But nobody's listening Called to you so clearly, but you don't want to hear me Told you everything loud and clear But nobody's listening
I got a heart full of pain, head full of stress Nobody's listening Hand full of anger, Held in my chest Nobody's listening Uphill struggle, blood, sweat and tears Nobody's listening Nothing to gain, everything to fear
"What kind of crap is this?" Draco sneered.
Faye paused the song. "Shut up Malfoy." Bunifa said.
"Why should I?"
Ron turned the song back on. "Nobody's listening" came over the radio. Malfoy walked off in a huff.
Come, come, come, comin' at you Come, come, come,, comin' comin' at you Come, comin', come, comin' at you Come, come, come, comin' at you from every side
*~*
Back to school on Monday. Faye didn't like Snape much for his nosyness the night of her ritual. So she decided to play a prank on him.
He was telling of Neville again. This was the time to strike.
"Congratulations Neville. This is your two hudredth potion you've messed up the whole time you were here." Snape said coldly. He was about to say something else when Faye took out her wand and pointed it to him. "Cappricio" she whispered.
"Invisible Dave and Pelican Bob think that they are real people, but they are actually only figmants of my imagination" said the proffessor. The Gryffindors laughed and he turned to them.
Faye aimed another Capricio spell at him. "You can't go saying 'everybody's got a waterbuffalo!' Everyone does NOT have a waterbuffallo! We're going to get nasty letters saying "Where's MY waterbuffallo? Why don't I have a waterbuffallo?" Are you perpared to deal with that? I didn't think so!" he shouted.
Another spell. "SPOOOOOOOOOON!!" the teacher exclaimed. Yet another one. "If your so evil why dont you...EAT THIS KITTEN!" Capricio. "But then John said to himself, 'Frank! Your name isn't Louis!" By now everyone thought he was insane.
He turned to Hermione. "How mad would a wood chuck get if a big neon pink Koala bear named Ishtar ran into the woods and chucked all the wood before the woodchuck could?" he asked her.
"Uhhhhh....I don't know sir..." replied Hermione.
Faye tried three at a time. "Humpty Dumpty was pushed! I can bend minds with my spoon! used to drive down the long highways, throwing tomatoes out the window yelling, 'Hooray for the spicy chipmunk!"
For a grand finale, Faye did a very powerfull one. "If a chicken and a half can lay an egg and a half in a minute and a half, how long would it take a monkey with a wooden leg to kick all the seeds out of a dill pickle? If oranges smell like chicken, why are tomatoes blue? Think about it! If the circumference of a circle is the distance around the edge of it, and the diameter is the distance through that same circle, how many licks does it take to get to the centre of a tootsie roll toastie pop? If Train A leave San Francisco at 8:30am EST travelling 25mph and Train B leaves Chicago at 1:30pm MST travelling at 40mph, and they're 3000 miles apart when they start, what is the capitol of Bulgaria? If you look deeply emough into any person's soul, you can see the emu within them struggling to get out. Actually, most people don't have emus in their soul. Just me. If you're flying down the highway, and your wings fall off your boat how many pancakes can you stack on top of a green doghouse? No-one suspects the butterfly! Over and over I find being redundant is key to success in the art of redundancy. Small, green leafy bodies, long tongues drooling over sharp incisors, they weren't human, they were brussel sprouts, killer brussel sprouts. Some of my colleagues think that the chemicals we are experimenting with could potentially cause brain damage, however I think that fish crunchy bits of salami my new red hippie noodle. Naked pool frogs? Sticks and stones may break my bones, and so would an 80 lb. carrot. Therapy is expensive but bubble wrap is free. There's nary an animal alive that can outrun a greased Scotsman. Yes, it was big. And ugly. And smelly. But none of that was important, because it was my big, ugly, smelly thing that I had found at the landfill and no one could take it away from me. Unless they felt like it." He said without a breath while doing hand motions. He caught Faye with her wand out.
"THOMPSON!!!!!" He roared. "HEADMASTER'S OFFICE, NOW!!"
So Faye went to the headmasters office. Proffessor McGonnagal was coming out anyway, so she just held the path open for her.
"Ah. Faye Thompson. I thought I'd see you here soon". said Dumbledoor calmly. "Lemon drop?"
"Thanks" Faye took the candy. Faye took a colorfully wrapped peice of candy out of her pocket. "Air Head?" she asked.
Headmaster and student ate their candy in silence. "What did you do?" He asked.
"I hit Proffessor Snape several times with the Capricio spell" she said.
"Ah, the one that makes random events happen?"
"Or in this case random sayings pop out of someone's mouth"
Proffessor Dumpledoor sat in silence. "I would like you to try it on me. Just to see the gravity of the situation" he requested.
Faye shrugged. It was her favorite spell. "CAPRICIO!!" she screamed.
"The giant ants will chase us, but will eat you first for you will stop to make a song out of it. Hey what a great idea! I'm being chased by aaaants...wait what does that mean? It means your house is made of cabbage. WHO STOLE MY HAIR HELMET! Your what? My hair helmet! Oh, I saw the pickle run off with it. What would a pickle need with a hair helmet? Grab my fry and I will help you across the street. That's so unproffessional. I like chocolate milk chunky for you can spread it, drink it, and eat it. Let me touch your hand and tell you your future I will be as gentle as a lamb for I am Yoda and I bestow upon you a dirty diaper." he said. "That was fun. Consider this a warning"
Wide eyed, Faye left the room. This was one weird place.
~~~Attention will the ownere of a yellow pinto pleas report to the main desk your car just blew up. Hey, isn't that your car? No, I rode in on a chia pet.~~~
I FEEL SOOOO MUCH BETTER!!! ok randomocity done. I just needed to get that out and it didnt fit with my other fic. I hope you are all happy lil fluffy puff marshmallows.
R&R unless the randomosity made you faint. Then R&R after u wake up.
The Princess of Darkness
Chapter 6: The Capricio Spell
The next Saturday Faye, Bunifa, Harry, Ron, and Hermione sat in a circle outside. Ron had asked Faye and Bunifa to give them another taste of muggle music. Faye took her Linkin Park CD out of her duffel bag and put it into her CD player. She turned her CD player into a boom box. Bunifa whispered a song to her. After setting up the right song, they stood up.
A Japanese flute played...and the song started. Faye and Bunifa sang (and rapped) along.
Yo, pick the style and the kids are checkin for it
the number one question is how can you ignore it?
And drop right back in the cut over basement tracks and rap stack got you backin us up like
Rewind that
We're just rollin with the rhythem, rise from the ashes of stylistic division
With these non stoping lyrics of life and life livin' not to be forgotten, still unforgivin
But in the meantime, there are those who wanna talk this and that, so what?
Suppose that it gets to a point where feelings gotta get hurt, and get dirty with the people
spreadin the dirt? It goes...
Tried to give you warning
but everyone ignores me
Told you everything loud and clear
But nobody's listening
Called to you so clearly
but you dont wanna hear me
Told you everything loud and clear
But nobody's listening
I gotta heart full of pain
Head full of stress
Hand full of anger held in my chest
And everything left is a waste of time
Hate my rhymes, but I hate everyone elses more
I'm ridin on the back of this pressure, guessin that its better I cant keep myself
together
Because all of this stress gave me something to ride on, the pain gave me something I could set my sights on Never forget the blood, sweat and tears, the uphill struggle over years, I fear it Trash talking and the people it was to, and the people that started it, just like you
Tried to give you warning, but everyone ignores me Told you everything loud and clear But nobody's listening Called to you so clearly, but you don't want to hear me Told you everything loud and clear But nobody's listening
by now a small croud gathered around to watch the two dance and rap. Draco, wanting to know what all the rucus was about, walked over to see.
I got a heart full of pain, head full of stress Hand full of anger, Held in my chest Uphill struggle, blood, sweat and tears Nothing to gain, everything to fear Heart full of pain, head full of stress Hand full of anger, Held in my chest Uphill struggle, blood, sweat and tears Nothing to gain, everything to fear Heart full of pain...
Tried to give you warning, but everyone ignores me Told you everything loud and clear But nobody's listening Called to you so clearly, but you don't want to hear me Told you everything loud and clear But nobody's listening
I got a heart full of pain, head full of stress Nobody's listening Hand full of anger, Held in my chest Nobody's listening Uphill struggle, blood, sweat and tears Nobody's listening Nothing to gain, everything to fear
"What kind of crap is this?" Draco sneered.
Faye paused the song. "Shut up Malfoy." Bunifa said.
"Why should I?"
Ron turned the song back on. "Nobody's listening" came over the radio. Malfoy walked off in a huff.
Come, come, come, comin' at you Come, come, come,, comin' comin' at you Come, comin', come, comin' at you Come, come, come, comin' at you from every side
*~*
Back to school on Monday. Faye didn't like Snape much for his nosyness the night of her ritual. So she decided to play a prank on him.
He was telling of Neville again. This was the time to strike.
"Congratulations Neville. This is your two hudredth potion you've messed up the whole time you were here." Snape said coldly. He was about to say something else when Faye took out her wand and pointed it to him. "Cappricio" she whispered.
"Invisible Dave and Pelican Bob think that they are real people, but they are actually only figmants of my imagination" said the proffessor. The Gryffindors laughed and he turned to them.
Faye aimed another Capricio spell at him. "You can't go saying 'everybody's got a waterbuffalo!' Everyone does NOT have a waterbuffallo! We're going to get nasty letters saying "Where's MY waterbuffallo? Why don't I have a waterbuffallo?" Are you perpared to deal with that? I didn't think so!" he shouted.
Another spell. "SPOOOOOOOOOON!!" the teacher exclaimed. Yet another one. "If your so evil why dont you...EAT THIS KITTEN!" Capricio. "But then John said to himself, 'Frank! Your name isn't Louis!" By now everyone thought he was insane.
He turned to Hermione. "How mad would a wood chuck get if a big neon pink Koala bear named Ishtar ran into the woods and chucked all the wood before the woodchuck could?" he asked her.
"Uhhhhh....I don't know sir..." replied Hermione.
Faye tried three at a time. "Humpty Dumpty was pushed! I can bend minds with my spoon! used to drive down the long highways, throwing tomatoes out the window yelling, 'Hooray for the spicy chipmunk!"
For a grand finale, Faye did a very powerfull one. "If a chicken and a half can lay an egg and a half in a minute and a half, how long would it take a monkey with a wooden leg to kick all the seeds out of a dill pickle? If oranges smell like chicken, why are tomatoes blue? Think about it! If the circumference of a circle is the distance around the edge of it, and the diameter is the distance through that same circle, how many licks does it take to get to the centre of a tootsie roll toastie pop? If Train A leave San Francisco at 8:30am EST travelling 25mph and Train B leaves Chicago at 1:30pm MST travelling at 40mph, and they're 3000 miles apart when they start, what is the capitol of Bulgaria? If you look deeply emough into any person's soul, you can see the emu within them struggling to get out. Actually, most people don't have emus in their soul. Just me. If you're flying down the highway, and your wings fall off your boat how many pancakes can you stack on top of a green doghouse? No-one suspects the butterfly! Over and over I find being redundant is key to success in the art of redundancy. Small, green leafy bodies, long tongues drooling over sharp incisors, they weren't human, they were brussel sprouts, killer brussel sprouts. Some of my colleagues think that the chemicals we are experimenting with could potentially cause brain damage, however I think that fish crunchy bits of salami my new red hippie noodle. Naked pool frogs? Sticks and stones may break my bones, and so would an 80 lb. carrot. Therapy is expensive but bubble wrap is free. There's nary an animal alive that can outrun a greased Scotsman. Yes, it was big. And ugly. And smelly. But none of that was important, because it was my big, ugly, smelly thing that I had found at the landfill and no one could take it away from me. Unless they felt like it." He said without a breath while doing hand motions. He caught Faye with her wand out.
"THOMPSON!!!!!" He roared. "HEADMASTER'S OFFICE, NOW!!"
So Faye went to the headmasters office. Proffessor McGonnagal was coming out anyway, so she just held the path open for her.
"Ah. Faye Thompson. I thought I'd see you here soon". said Dumbledoor calmly. "Lemon drop?"
"Thanks" Faye took the candy. Faye took a colorfully wrapped peice of candy out of her pocket. "Air Head?" she asked.
Headmaster and student ate their candy in silence. "What did you do?" He asked.
"I hit Proffessor Snape several times with the Capricio spell" she said.
"Ah, the one that makes random events happen?"
"Or in this case random sayings pop out of someone's mouth"
Proffessor Dumpledoor sat in silence. "I would like you to try it on me. Just to see the gravity of the situation" he requested.
Faye shrugged. It was her favorite spell. "CAPRICIO!!" she screamed.
"The giant ants will chase us, but will eat you first for you will stop to make a song out of it. Hey what a great idea! I'm being chased by aaaants...wait what does that mean? It means your house is made of cabbage. WHO STOLE MY HAIR HELMET! Your what? My hair helmet! Oh, I saw the pickle run off with it. What would a pickle need with a hair helmet? Grab my fry and I will help you across the street. That's so unproffessional. I like chocolate milk chunky for you can spread it, drink it, and eat it. Let me touch your hand and tell you your future I will be as gentle as a lamb for I am Yoda and I bestow upon you a dirty diaper." he said. "That was fun. Consider this a warning"
Wide eyed, Faye left the room. This was one weird place.
~~~Attention will the ownere of a yellow pinto pleas report to the main desk your car just blew up. Hey, isn't that your car? No, I rode in on a chia pet.~~~
I FEEL SOOOO MUCH BETTER!!! ok randomocity done. I just needed to get that out and it didnt fit with my other fic. I hope you are all happy lil fluffy puff marshmallows.
R&R unless the randomosity made you faint. Then R&R after u wake up.