Part 8

It had been months since she saw him last. The last she had known of him the guards had reported to her husband. He was discharged from the hospital, in good health and hopeful of gaining 100 use of his arm back. She often sat out here, on her balcony overlooking the garden, and thought about him. Although she didn't have many memories of him, his face still haunted her and little ghost-like touches sent shivers down her spine. She would give anything to just catch a passing glance of him. It would be heaven, and it would be hell.

Spring was blooming, as she was herself. It was just this morning she had found out for sure that she was carrying the heir to the throne. It was the first of many, she had hoped. Her relationship with Rupert was good, not quite too good, nor was it what it use to have been. It was better now. Joseph was right, she was who she was, she couldn't change that. She wanted to, but it wasn't an option. If she couldn't change, then she had to be the best person she could be in the circumstances that surrounded her. Joseph had wanted her to. So she chose to be Rupert's Queen, and she intended on making her life count. Clarisse was just hoping that one day fortune would look down on her in the shape of a man named 'Joseph'.

He was sweaty, hot, and rather thirsty. A good time to quit. He sat up on the bench and reached for his towel. It was then that the television caught his attention. He hardly ever paid any attention to it, not while working out. He was here for therapy, improving his arm every day. The workout also helped ease his frustrations. She stayed on his mind always, but somehow he was learning to look at her differently. Who was he kidding? There she was on television. She was a vision, escorted by her husband. He smiled right back at her, for he was hoping her smile might have been meant for him alone. He listened to the statement, made by Rupert himself. She was pregnant! He swallowed hard, knowing it was right for her, and tried to be happy. He wanted that child so badly to be his. He could only imagine a life like that with Clarisse. He kept listening attentively, hoping to hear her speak, but she said nothing. She only smiled and waved. She looked good. She looked wonderful. He couldn't help but wonder if that was just a charade she was putting on. He secretly wished she felt like he did. No, he didn't want her hurting, he just wanted to know if she still had feelings for him. Yet deep inside he already knew the answer.

It was torturing him. He couldn't do anything but think of her. He had tried to live for himself these past couple of months. She had been on his mind every second of them. How could he feel like this for a woman he only spent days with? He worried about her constantly, never knowing if she was well or if something had happened to her. After all, it had happened before, and who's to say that something wouldn't happen again. He was being selfish, not inthinking about her, no, but in staying away from her. If he was this far away, how could he look after her? She had asked him to protect her. She needed him, and he had refused. He had only thought about how he would feel being next to her. He had only thought about his attraction to her, about the feelings she brought out in him. Yes, he was selfish.

He unlocked the door of the small room he had been staying in. It wasn't far from the palace, but now he was thinking how very far away from her it was. It was too far. He threw down his gym bag and poured himself a drink. It was just a small one for he needed to think clearly now. Maybe he was letting his feelings for her surface and choose for him. Yes, that was a part of it. He did care for her, too much. He did know one thing, he was no good now to either of them. He was getting no place in his life. He had nothing to look forward to, and no reason to get up in the morning. Not long ago she had given him a reason.

He dialed information, "Yes, can I have the number to the Genovian palace? Yes, that's what I said. Can you just give me the number please?" He tried to remain calm, after all he could understand, that would not be a number that was asked for often. "I have no idea what it would be listed under, that is your job," he let out a sigh. "That will be fine, thank you." He took the number given to him and held it for a second. "Here goes."

"Excuse me, Your Majesty, but I have here a message for you. The caller would only leave his name and number. Should I get rid of it?

"Yes." She had many calls from the people, and could never return each and every call. She wanted to, and she hated never knowing if she could really help someone. "Wait, let me see if it's someone I know. After all, Rupert won't let me do anything else," she said as she inwardy thought at just how long these next seven months were going to be.

"Here it is, Your Majesty, and if there's not anything else.."

"No, that will be all, thank you."

Clarisse glanced at the note, then took a longer look. Joseph. Could it be him? She so desperately wanted it to be him. "Only one way to find out." She picked up the handset and dialed the number.

"Hello."

"Joseph!"

"Clarisse! I had no idea you would ever get my message to call."

"Joseph, where are you? How are you? Can I see you?"

"Clarisse, slow down. I am here, not far from the palace. I'm fine, and well, I was hoping I could come see you."

"Oh Joseph. I'd love it."

"I've been thinking of you, every day."

"I know, I've thought of you too. I've missed you."

"You have?"

"Joseph, you know I have."

"Well, I've been doing alot of thinking Clarisse, and if you still need a bodyguard...I'd like to take the job."

"I've never felt as safe as I did when I was with you, but Joseph, you realize what you said before, it's true. We'll be together constantly."

"I know. Clarisse, I can't go on not knowing how you are, if you are safe or not. I know what living without you is like, I'd like to find out what living close to you is like. Any job has restrictions, I can't think of any that has one like this, but I want to be close to you. If this is the only way...then I will take care of you as your bodyguard."

"I'd settle for no one less. Now, you realize you'll have to move into the palace, so take care of your affairs and such, and I'll send a car for you next Monday. Is that enough time Joseph?"

"Clarisse, after being away from you for over two months, that is too long. How about tomorrow afternoon?"

"Tomorrow afternoon it is. Until then," she blew a kiss through the line.