"Oh, come on!" I grumbled.
Dropping to my knees, I searched franticly under my bed for my Potions text. "What is wrong with you?" I fruitlessly demanded of the missing book.
Climbing to my feet, I stomped over to my twin brother's bed. 'Maybe George knicked it,' I thought.
It's not that I don't trust him—we're very close. We're bloody inseparable, in fact, but George had a nasty habit of borrowing things from me without asking. "A-HA!" I spouted triumphantly, upon rooting through his bag and coming up with my copy of Advanced Potion-Making. "Just as I thought!"
Stuffing the text in my own satchel, I sprinted out of the dormitory and shoved my way past the Fat Lady. There was no time to apologize for my rudeness to the old girl; I was already five minutes late to Snape's class. At least I didn't have to worry about getting points deducted or receiving a detention just because George and I happen to walk in at the same time. Unfortunately, today wasn't my lucky day. I was halfway to the dungeons when I bumped, literally, into Professor McGonagall.
"Mr. Weasley! What are you doing running through these halls?" she huffed as she straightened her hat, which had gone comically askew.
"Why, Professor! You automatically assume that I'm breaking the rules? I happen to be running an errand for Professor Snape!" The halo was nearly visible above my head, if she would only look.
However, McGonagall's grimace clearly conveyed 'I-don't-believe-you-for-one-minute!' as she barked "Get to class now, and let Professor Snape deal with you!"
Oh man! I was hoping that she would walk with me and tell Snape that it was her fault that I was late to class. And while she was at it, she could offer to front the opening of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes right on school grounds! Ah well, Snape's detentions aren't THAT bad.
As I made my conspicuous entrance to the classroom, Snape's voice turned dangerously silky. "Ahh…Fred Weasley has now decided to grace us with his presence. Fifteen points from Gryffindor, I think."
I leant lazily against the doorframe. "Only one problem with that," I smirked.
"And what's that?" Snape's eyes narrowed.
"I'm not Fred. I'm George!" I said triumphantly.
"Right. You can't fool me. I know for a fact that George was on time to class,"
I shook my head and gave him my most sympathetic look. "You got us backwards, Sir. It's nothing to be ashamed of—happens all the time!" I said.
Exasperated, the Potions Master snapped, "Enough is enough Mr. Weasley!"
"But I'm really not Fred!" I protested.
" Thirty points from Gryffindor then, GEORGE!" Snape barked.
"Okay, fine! I'm Fred," I mumbled in defeat as I sat down.
"You have just earned yourself a detention with me on Friday evening at eight," he told me.
I shrugged indifferently. His weren't half as bad as Filch's. Plus, I was already counting on a detention with him anyway. Turning to the analogue seated next to me, I commented, "Sheesh! He obviously doesn't appreciate humor."
"Got that right," George replied. He then began to explain the potion we were making to me. It was supposed to get rid of skin blemishes if made correctly. I didn't ask what happened if you didn't make it correctly—usually, this would have the opposite effect.
"So what happened to you?" Lee Jordan asked after class.
"Someone stole my Potions book," I glared accusingly at my brother.
"What? Me steal from you? You've got to be kidding!" George exclaimed in mock offense.
"Let me guess… you just borrowed it and forgot to return it?" I asked.
"Now that's more like it!" George replied.
We all laughed as we entered the common room. "So who's our next victim?" Lee asked as he flopped down on the red sofa.
"River Montague," suggested George.
"Or we could do Draco," I countered.
"Even better!" Lee exclaimed.
"So what do you want to do to him?" George looked expectant.
I shrugged. "I thought I'd let you guys decide!"
"AHH-UH-AH! You chose the victim, so you get to choose the prank," George jovially prodded my shoulder.
Throwing up my arms, I paced away to the fireplace. "Great! From now on, I refuse to pick people to play pranks on."
"Just think on it awhile, mate!" Lee urged.
"Oh, okay! How about we send him to an alternate dimension where the world is ruled by bears?" My enthusiasm suddenly returned, with a vengeance, no less. It was the perfect idea. Every tough guy in the known universe is scared of bears. Don't believe me? Look it up in Fred's book of weird facts.
"Bears? Have you gone mad?" Lee was incredulous.
"I haven't, but he will. Especially after he finds out the Minister of Magic is a bear and Hogwarts only allows bears in their school." My grin was most evil.
George absolutely lost it. "That's great!" he gasped.
"D'you know how to send him to an alternate dimension?" Lee still seemed skeptical.
Holding up a finger, I raised my eyebrows dramatically. "Where does Hermione go for all her off-the-wall knowledge? The Library, of course!"
A mischievous grin split the dreadlocked boy's face. "So it's settled then. Draco Malfoy, get ready for Bear City!"
But after a half-hour in the library, none of us were any closer to finding a suitable spell than Voldemort was to trading Chocolate Frog cards with Harry. "Are you sure there's a spell for sending people to alternate dimensions?" With an exasperated sigh, George shelved what must have been his hundredth book.
"There has to be!" I think I was more trying to convince myself than my cohorts. But at that moment, a glint of foiling revealed a hidden volume behind the battered copy of Hogwarts: A History. Pulling out the gilded tome, I glanced at the cover and cried, "Ah, here we go! This one's called 101 Spells for Your Enemies."
Leafing through the book, I found that a cross-dimension traveling spell was marked with a slip of paper. "Here it is!" I announced.
"Really?" George and Lee asked simultaneously.
I nodded, but before I could read further, it was yanked from my hands. "Hey!" I protested.
"Wicked! Fancy having a go, then?" George flipped the volume around to face me. Running my finger along the page, I took a deep breath and began reciting. Everything in the room seemed to spin and go dark.