WWE owns them all...
QUICK NOTE
Batista-Torrie: Batista in Torrie Wilson's body
Taker-Batista: The Undertaker in Batista's body
Torrie-Taker: Torrie Wilson in The Undertaker's body
"Run that by me one more time," Taker-Batista said unbelievingly.
"Basically, we're stuck like Chuck," Batista-Torrie summarized for Taker.
"Yeah, what he...er, she? What he-she said," Torrie-Taker said.
Taker-Batista shook his head, appalled at how such a dumb ass had acquired his body.
"She," Batista-Torrie said matter-of-factly. "I love my new body. I can finally get in touch with my feminine side without being called gay."
"Just so you know, I'll still consider you gay whenever we switch back," Taker-Batista informed him. "And you'll never be able to persuade me otherwise."
"You... You're so unfair!" Batista-Torrie said in a high-pitched voice as his eyes filled with tears. He ran into the corner to cry.
"You're so sensitive!" Taker-Batista said, rolling his eyes.
"You big meanie!" Torrie-Taker yelled, shoving Taker-Batista into a wall. Then she walked over to what used to be her body. "Shhh, Batista, it's ok," she began in a soothing voice. She put her arms around him and he cried into her hair. "Let his insults run off of you like water running down...er...a...what's that thing?" She thought for a minute, her face screwed up in concentration. "The itsy bitsy spider went up the... Oh yeah, it's called a water spout!"
"Don't hit me again, you big oaf!" Taker-Batista exclaimed, rubbing his arm as he angrily watched his body hugging Batista-Torrie. "Or there's gonna be some consequences! And quit hugging him!"
"It's a her, not a him!" Torrie-Taker said. "Didn't you hear what he said, little man?"
"Who you calling little man?" Taker-Batista asked, the anger evident in his voice. "I'm definitely not a little man."
"Yes, you are," Batista-Torrie said, glaring at him. "Look at you! Torrie here is taller than you."
Taker-Batista was so mad when he remembered that Torrie was now the bigger man and the WWE champion. He looked at her, then said the only thing he could think of. "I'm telling Vince!"
"You wouldn't!" Torrie-Taker said, her eyes wide with fear.
"I would," Taker-Batista challenged. "In fact, I'm gonna go tell him right now."
"Whatever," Torrie-Taker said. "Like Vince is gonna believe that a dumb ass like me invented a body switching machine."
She was right, of course, but Taker-Batista wasn't going to admit that. No way in hell was he gonna admit that some blonde had figured something out that he hadn't thought of.
Maybe it's because she's occupying my body now, Taker-Batista thought as he headed out the door. Yeah, that's what gave her a little sense.
"Batista!" a feminine voice called from behind him as he headed down the hall towards Vince McMahon's office. It took him a second before he realized the voice was talking to him.
"What?" Taker-Batista asked, turning around to face Melena, the manager of MnM.
"You know what. Time for our usual," Melena said. "Hurry up, you slowpoke!" she exclaimed impatiently. When he just stood there looking at her, wondering what the hell was going on, she grabbed his hand and led him to the nearest unoccupied room, which just happened to be some sort of supply room.
"Why are we in here?" Taker-Batista asked curiously when Melena shut the door behind them and the room was pitch black.
"Batista, we've been doing this since we met," she replied, hurriedly trying to pull his shirt over his head. She successfully pulled the shirt off, then started kissing his chest. "Your body! I just love your body."
"Uh, yeah, sure," Taker-Batista said.
She stopped kissing his chest, and he guessed that she was now looking up at him, or at least trying to peer up at him in the dark.
"What's wrong with your voice?" she asked after a minute.
"My... My voice?" Taker-Batista gulped. "N-nothing. I sound like this all the time!"
"No... You sound like the Undertaker," she said accusingly.
"I'm sorry, my voice is acting all weird tonight," he said, trying to fix the situation.
"Keep it like that. There's no one I'd love to do more than the Original Deadman!" she squealed, before jumping on him.
Quite a while later, they both walked out of the little supply room, trying to fix their clothes.
"I never knew a woman could rape a man," Taker-Batista said wonderingly.
"Your fault. It was your voice!" she explained. "Taker's voice is such a turn on for me."
"Then let me ask you a question. Why haven't you ever tried to talk to Taker?" he asked her.
"How do you know I haven't?" she asked.
"Let's just say Taker and I are pretty close. I know him really well, and I'd know if you ever hit on him or anything."
"Is that so?"
"Yep," he said, nodding emphatically. "We're good friends. We go waaaaay back."
"Well, give him my number!" she said, smiling as brightly as she possibly could. "Tell him to give me a call and I'll make it worth his while, if what we just did in the supply room was any indication."
"I'll tell him... Ok, see ya later," Taker-Batista said. He smiled as he headed back to Torrie's locker room. Torrie had been right; Vinnie Mac would never believe that she'd invented a body switching machine. The only thing left to do was to go back and try to fix the damn thing by himself.
He heard strange noises as he approached the door. No, they wouldn't, he thought, quickly dismissing the thought that they could be doing the nasty in there. He opened the door to find something very graphic and...well, pretty damn disgusting going on over in the corner.
"Oh, Taker!" Batista-Torrie squealed in a girlish voice.
"I'm Torrie, remember?" Torrie-Taker said with a moan.
"But you have Taker's sexy body right now," Batista-Torrie said.
They both jumped when the door slammed shut.
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?" Taker-Batista thundered, and the walls shook...
"Oh shit! We're totally..." Batista-Torrie began.
"...Busted!" Torrie-Taker finished for him.
Dumb, I know, but I found some parts to be kinda funny when I wrote them! Update coming soon!