A/N: You, my faithful readers, are better than any controlled substance when it comes to needing a pick-me-up. Well, okay, that's not the best analogy. I really don't know anything about controlled substances except that codeine makes me throw up. But I'm just saying, if I need support, you guys are the first place I'm coming. I really love reading a well-written sex scene (For those who like R-rated, grown-up S-J ship, you must check out anything written by Shiaw Mei Mei. She's gifted, and far less uptight with the sex writing than I am!) but I really, really dread writing sex scenes. So your glowing reviews of the last chapter really meant the world to me.

Having said that, I still stand by my breast comments.

Anyway, I warned you that once I got rolling on the last few chapters, it was gonna go quick. I'm pretty sure that this'll wrap up with one more chap and an epilogue. I'm vowing to be done by Friday. And now that I've posted SIX chapters in FIVE days (that's gotta be some kind of record) I think I'm moving past "speedy" into just, plain "smoking." Remember, unlike some of my other (more organized) peers on this site, I post everything as I write it.

Okay. Done babbling. On with the angst.

Chapter 24

Lying in bed, Sam and Jack stared silently at the mosaic-tiled ceiling of their bedchamber. The night before had been full of discoveries, healing, and not a small touch of sadness. After their bath, Jack had revealed Bett's dilemma to Sam, including the only available way they were going to get home.

Thoughts of their relationship swirling in her head, Sam sighed softly and rolled onto her side, burying her face into the crook of his shoulder. "Last night was incredible," she murmured. "I can't believe we won't have those memories to cherish after we leave this place."

Jack turned and kissed the top of her head. "Maybe it's better that way," he remarked gently.

Pulling away to look into his deep, brown eyes, Sam didn't seem to agree. "How can you say that?" she whispered thickly.

He ran a hand down her smooth cheek. "It's going to be hard enough dealing with the rest of this when we get back to the SGC." He closed his eyes against the sharp stab of pain which seemed to accompany any discussion of going home. "It will be one less reminder of how much I can't have," he rasped.

Sam felt her heart shatter a little at his words. "Maybe when we get back, we can still–"

"No." Jack cut her off. "Unless one of us leaves the SGC, it'll never work, Sam." He opened his eyes and met her distressed gaze squarely. "If there's one thing I learned on this trip, its that those damn fraternization rules really do make sense. Especially," he said meaningfully, "when lives are at risk. Feeling the way I do about you, it would only be a matter of time before I made a decision that hurt someone." He shook his head. "I'm not convinced it won't happen anyway."

Sam's eyes took on a stubborn cast. "Then why the hell shouldn't we be together?" she demanded firmly. "Not being together isn't going to stop us from feeling together. If that's what those stupid regs are there to protect us from, then what's the point in obeying them at all, after all this?" She gestured to the bed and rumpled sheets which surrounded them.

Jack flopped back on the bed, clearly torn. "I'm not sure," he admitted. "But if we do come clean, one of us will be reassigned, Sam." He looked at her grim features and suppressed a sigh. "Fact is, we have two choices. We can try to forget any of this ever happened and muddle through that particular brand of hell, or we can come clean and ruin both of our careers… not to mention the credibility of SG-1." He didn't sound thrilled by either prospect.

Sam sucked in a breath at his last statement. "I hadn't thought of that," she said, sounding tormented. "They'd break up SG-1." She looked at Jack and realized that she wasn't saying anything he didn't already know. "Daniel and Teal'c…" She blinked, utterly overwhelmed. "We'd take them down with us," she breathed softly.

Jack heaved a sigh. "Probably." Fighting off the urge to hit something, he settled for clenching his fists. "Damn it," he muttered. "I hate that this has to be so ugly."

Sam felt the tension in his body and leaned forward to kiss him on the forehead. "I know," she soothed. "But we knew there would be tough decisions to be made at the end of this."

Feeling the anger drain out of him at the truth of her words, Jack sighed again, this time with resignation. "That we did," he said softly. "Can't say that I regret it, either."

Sam smiled hauntingly. "Nope." Looking into his bittersweet gaze, she traced his lips with her fingers. "No regrets here." Suddenly, she looked into the distance, brow wrinkled in concentration. "Wait a second," she said quietly. "You said we only had two choices, but I just thought of a third." Her blue eyes returned to his face, an unreadable expression in them.

Jack shook his head. "We can't stay here, Sam. There's too much-"

She cut him off. "I'm not talking about staying here," she waved dismissively. They both agreed that wasn't an option.

He looked at her blankly. "Okay, so what's your idea?"

Drawing a deep breath, she seemed to be gathering her courage. "Well, you said that we could go home and try to forget any of this ever happened." Meeting his stare head-on, she got to the point. "What if we didn't try to forget – what if we actually did?"

Jack looked confused for a moment before her words sank in. "Bett's magical brainwashing," he muttered. As the implications of that choice began to fill his head, he found himself staring desolately at Sam. "You'd want to forget all this?"

She closed her eyes, fighting a wave of heartache so strong, it was nearly physical. "Want to? God, no." Then, finding his haunted gaze again, she shrugged. "But if the alternatives are ruining the lives of my dearest friends, pretending like I don't love you, going to prison, or all of the above, I think it's something we should consider." Swallowing tears, she pushed ahead. "You said it yourself. Even if we go on like nothing's happened, we could still compromise missions just by what we're feeling. Jack," she said softly, "I don't know about you, but I was barely able to keep it completely professional before all this happened. Now…" she trailed off, shaking her head. "I'm honestly not sure I could pull it off."

The truth of her words was undeniable. Jack had been thinking much the same thing since they'd first made love. It changed everything. "But to forget it all…" he winced at the implications. Right now, he had her. She'd given herself to him completely. If they erased all that, he knew it was entirely possible that he'd never find the right moment to tell her how he felt, and he'd lose her forever. He wouldn't even have memories of their amazing time together to keep him company in his long, lonely retirement.

Sam stared off into space. "I agree, it's almost unthinkable." She couldn't meet his eyes as she spoke. "But Jack, I know you. How long do you think it will take for something awful to happen? In our line of work, it's inevitable for things to go wrong. Right now, you can make those tough choices under fire without second-guessing yourself because you know you're acting as an impartial, professional officer of the US military. But if we go back with all this baggage, how long do you think it will take for one of those horrific scenarios to unfold? I know you, Jack," she repeated stubbornly. "Next time something bad happens, you'll blame yourself for it, whether it was your fault or not. You'll assume everything went wrong because you were too wrapped up in your own feelings to make better choices. You'll grill yourself for not coming clean with the SGC right away. Jack, we both know what that would mean," she whispered. "You'll instantly pull away from everyone who loves you in an effort to punish yourself." Sighing, she finally found the strength to look at him again. "And then I'll lose you forever." A tear slipped from the corner of her eye. "At least this way, we might actually have a shot at finding our way back to each other."

Jack looked into her blue eyes for a long moment, wordlessly contemplating her profound words. Slowly, he nodded. "Wise beyond your years," he murmured, repeating his earlier opinion. She couldn't have been more right. Jack O'Neill did few things better than guilt and self-reproach. He felt it in his gut; if they went back to work and tried to ignore all their feelings, her predictions would likely come true within a year. And, when it happened, he'd never be able to forgive himself. Steeling himself against the pain it caused, he seriously considered her solution. "Do you think it's even possible?"

She looked at him desolately. "There's only one way to find out."

Bett's grey eyes were wide as saucers. "To say I'm surprised by your question is an understatement." She sat down heavily on one of the cushions in Sam and Jack's common room. "I would not have expected you to willingly give up your memories of your time together."

Clutching Jack's hand tightly, Sam tried to keep her tears under control as she spoke. "It's not something we take lightly. But we've discussed it, and we agree it's probably the best way out of a no-win situation." Despite her efforts, a single drop of moisture trickled down her cheek.

Jack saw that tear and felt like screaming at the unfairness of the situation. Reaching up, he tenderly brushed it away, trying to lend some comfort to a moment that was wretchedly hopeless.

Bett witnessed the exchange and felt herself droop with sorrow. "To answer your question," she continued sadly, "yes, it is possible. We have an almost limitless power to alter every aspect of consciousness in a willing subject. Thousands of years using the Ring have given us the ability to shift perception, create or erase memories, even impact subliminal processes such as dreams. It is a gift we do not take lightly." Slowly meeting both of their gazes in turn, she emphasized her next words with a meaningful stare. "However, even in light of this power, our method of altering consciousness is very subtle and requires the full cooperation of the subjects involved. If you have significant reservations about the process, it could interfere with its effectiveness. For this reason, I need you to be as honest as possible about your feelings."

"I've got one big issue," Jack said softly. Sam turned to look at him, clearly surprised by his candor and willingness to speak up. When Jack continued, his words were directed at Bett, but his eyes were glued to Sam. "What happened on the cliff yesterday really clued me into something important. We never know when our time is up, so we need to make sure our affairs are settled in case the worst happens." His words were a summary of what she'd said to him the night before, a fact which touched her immensely. "If we forget everything that happened here," he said softly, "and something bad happened to Sam, I'm not sure I could live with the regrets. I wouldn't remember that she'd known how I felt about her. I'd probably spend the rest of my days wondering what might have been, if only I'd been more willing to come clean." He smiled sadly. "I might not have much going for me at this moment, but I've at least got that."

Bett was visibly moved by his words. "Perhaps," she said slowly, "I can ease your anxieties on that front. It is possible, when removing memories, to build in a failsafe of sorts, ensuring their return if certain conditions are met." Glancing from Jack to Sam, she paused to make sure they understood her words. "I could program the device to give you back those memories should one of you experience the death of the other."

Sam shuddered. "That sounds okay," she said softly, "but I'm not sure I would want to deal with my grief over having lost Jack and face those memories all at the same time."

Bett nodded her head. "I understand, Samantha. It is possible to put the return of those memories on a delay of sorts. For example, I could program the device to reveal the truth to you one year after the death occurred."

Jack looked confused. "Ah, not to throw a fly into the ointment, but won't that seem a little weird? If we suddenly remember everything we'd forgotten, aren't we going to wonder howwe lost those memories in the first place?" He shook his head. "We're pretty inquisitive people, Bett. I'm guessing that we'd come back here to investigate. Wouldn't that sort-of defeat the purpose of making us forget you guys even exist?"

The blue alien smiled. "Yes, and were you not so well-connected, the failsafe would not be an option. However," she said encouragingly, "you are allied with the Asgard. Their ability to manipulate consciousness rivals ours. I would program the failsafe to make you believe it was they, and not us, who helped you temporarily erase your memories."

"And they'd be okay with this?" Jack raised his eyebrows.

"We have made similar arrangements in the past. If the Asgard truly are as fond of you as you say, then I'm sure Supreme High Commander Thor will agree to the deception." Bett sounded confident in her assessment.

Suddenly, Sam grimaced. "Wait a minute. We're forgetting something, Jack."

He looked at her. "What?"

"Daniel." Her single word made both of them wince.

"Damn," Jack sighed. "I hadn't thought of that."

Bett looked confused. "What is the problem?"

Sam sighed. "We have a friend who had some idea where relationship was heading before the volcano erupted. He's bound to wonder what happened here."

Bett shrugged. "Would he not believe you if you both explained that nothing happened?"

At that, Jack looked thoughtful. "Ya know," he said, looking at Sam, "he's really not the kind of guy to just barge in and ask personal questions. And on the few occasions when he actually has…" Jack trailed off, looking at Sam meaningfully.

"You've just told him to buzz off," she finished with a smile. "True. But what about the condoms?"

Jack shrugged. "What about them? If he ever asks, we'll tell him it was a very funny practical joke, but that we weren't amused in the least. Naturally, we weren't going to bring them back to the SGC, so we burned them. And," he said insightfully, "We'll mean it. Remember, Sam, as far as we'll know, we won't be lying. I'm far more worried about the thermal scans."

Sam pondered that for a moment and shrugged. "First of all, the only people who will ever see those scans again are Daniel and Teal'c. And they're not likely to tell anyone about it. Secondly, all it will show is that the two of us were physically very close to each other. The worst we can be accused of is sharing body heat."

Jack seemed to accept that. "Okay. I'm sold. But how much should we forget? And won't it seem weird that we can't account for our time on this planet?"

Bett interrupted. "You will not be missing any time," she assured him. "We will manipulate your memories to exclude only the personal aspects of your time here."

Sam snorted. "Yeah, but 'personal aspects' accounted for most of our time here." Then, hearing her words, she flushed slightly.

Bett merely smiled. "I'm sure we can supplement your memories with other, mundane tasks. In your years working together, you must have made many campfires and walked through many miles of forest together," she said simply. "We can take other experiences in your heads and manipulate them to fit this situation."

Jack raised a finger as a thought struck him. "Just one thing," he said, smiling impishly. "I'd really like to remember our first night and following morning in the tent." Turning to Sam, he explained his reasoning. "Daniel and Teal'c both knew that something was going on in there, so we'd have a tough time denying it completely. Besides, it wasn't so incriminating that we'd compromised ourselves in any major way. I mean, we kissed twice." He shrugged. "Don't get me wrong, it was pretty damn incredible," he said with a smile at Sam, "but hardly any worse than some of the other things we've been through together." The memory of the Zatarc testing seemed like years ago, but it was a very big deal at the time, and they'd managed to move past it.

Sam couldn't help smiling. "Okay," she agreed, "I'll go along with that. Will that work?" she asked, looking anxiously at Bett.

"Of course. If you can imagine it, we can probably make it happen." Her grey eyes twinkled. Apparently, she was glad that her favorite humans were not going to totally forget their personal time together.

After a moment, Sam shifted in her seat. Still looking at Bett, she suddenly appeared almost shy. "So, how complicated can you make the terms of this failsafe?"

Bett shrugged. "As complicated as you like, Samantha. The possibilities are limitless, so long as you are fully willing to participate. Your cooperation is the key to our capabilities."

Sam cleared her throat. "So, I could maybe add something…?"

Nodding, Bett smiled. "I would encourage it. The more comfort you feel with the terms procedure, the more successful it will be."

"Then I want to remember everything in the event that we ever got married to each other." She spoke in a rush, not looking at Jack. They'd never discussed marriage, so she felt a little awkward about bringing it up here, but it was important to her. "You could put it on that time delay, so we'd have a year to get settled. But, if we were together anyway, I'd really want to know how we'd first fallen in love."

Jack looked at her, apparently dumbfounded. "You think we might actually get married someday?" he asked incredulously.

Sam, still refusing to look at him, flushed brightly but stuck her chin out stubbornly. "I think it's completely possible," she said firmly. Then, slowly lowering her eyes to the floor, she shrugged. "You've got to retire eventually," she mumbled.

Completely flabbergasted by her statement, he continued to gape at her for a moment. Then, regretfully, he shook his head. "There's no way you'll wait around that long." She immediately opened her mouth, but he plowed right past her objections. "Which brings me to my next request. I want to remember everything if she ever marries someone else… but I wouldn't want her to remember." He looked into the distance with a haunted look in his eyes. "If I can't ever have her again, I'd want to have these memories."

Sam made a noise of protest. "First of all, that's not going to happen. And secondly, how is that fair?"

He speared her with a dark glare. "You'd really want to remember all this on your one-year anniversary to someone else?"

That seemed to deflate her slightly. Then, doggedly, she spoke again. "But, Jack, I'm not going to-"

He raised his hand sharply. "Humor me, okay?"

Glaring darkly at him, she reluctantly consented. "All right," she muttered, "but only if the same is true in reverse. I remember but he doesn't, should he ever marry someone else."

Jack rolled his eyes. "Sure, Carter. Whatever you say." He'd marry another woman when Teal'c started cross-dressing and Daniel burned his entire library of books.

Despite the somewhat confusing arguments, Bett was listening closely. "Everything you say is possible and can be easily accommodated. Please, think carefully. Are there any other stipulations you can think of?"

Sam grew oddly quiet. Biting her lip, she took a deep breath before speaking. "What if I'm pregnant?" she asked quietly.

Brown eyes widening, Jack's head shot up. "I can't believe I didn't think of that," he murmured.

If Bett was shocked by the conversation, she didn't show it one iota. "I can add that to the list," she said simply.

"Wait," Jack said suddenly. "I think we'd better be more specific than that. I mean, we can't just say, 'Give us back our memories if Carter is pregnant,' because, presumably, someday, she will be pregnant, even if she's not now. I'm sure she won't want all this popping into her brain if she's carrying someone else's baby."

Sam rolled her eyes, seeming to pray for patience. "Jack, I'm not going to-"

"Humor me," he repeated firmly, cutting her off yet again.

She sighed impatiently. "Fine," she muttered. "How about this: If I discover I'm carrying Jack's baby in the next, say, three months, we'll both get our memories back."

"How am I supposed to get my memory back if you find out you're pregnant?" Jack asked skeptically.

Sam glared at him. "Because I'll tell you, you idiot."

He opened his mouth and then shut it again. "Oh." Looking at her intently, he grew very serious. "You wouldn't conveniently forget to tell me that you were carrying my baby, just to save my career, would you?"

She paused, considering his words. Then, sighing, she shook her head. "No," she said firmly. "I promise. If I remember this conversation," she then wrinkled her forehead as a thought struck her, "or if I remember a version of this conversation with Thor present instead of Bett," she amended awkwardly, "then I'll remember my promise and I'll live up to it. You're just going to have to trust me," she finished quietly.

Jack nodded. "I do trust you. Your word is good enough for me, Sam."

Those simple words sealed it. Sam knew without a doubt that, no matter how awkward it would be, she couldn't deny him the truth now, if it came to that. His faith in her was worth more than anything. She'd never betray it.

Bett mentally took note of their agreement and asked once again. "Anything else?"

Suddenly, Jack grinned. "Hey, did you say you could manipulate dreams?"

Not understanding the direction of his thoughts, Bett nodded. "Yes. It is actually much simpler to manipulate dreams than conscious thought, simply because dreams suspend reality by their very nature."

Sam, unlike Bett, immediately figured out what Jack was getting at. "Wow, sweetie," she said with a wide smile on her face, "I do love the way you think." The two exchanged a meaningful look.

Still looking puzzled, Bett caught the sultry nonverbal exchange and suddenly understood. "Oh!" she exclaimed with a smile. "Of course!" Chuckling musically, she nodded enthusiastically. "I will ensure that, even if you are not together by day, you will always have each other when you sleep."

The cheerful tone of her voice couldn't quite eliminate the melancholy meaning in her words, however, and all three people in the room soon grew quiet.

"So, when do we do this?" Sam asked softly.

Bett closed her eyes, suddenly looking apologetic. "Goodness. I meant to tell you when we first met today, but your request caught me so off-guard, I completely forgot." She tried easing her next message with a comforting look, but knew she wouldn't truly succeed. "Our long-range sensors have picked up a ship heading directly for our planet. It will be here within the next two days." She sighed inwardly at their suddenly-stricken expressions, but forced herself to continue. "I suggest we start the procedure right away. It appears your rescue ship has finally come."

A/N: As I duck to avoid the flying mice and keyboards being hurled at me, I feel the need to reiterate: This was always meant to be a prequel. It couldn't have a completely happy ending, because it wouldn't jive with Reap What Is Sown. However, I want to point out that Path From Yesterday takes place AFTER Reap, so if you want to catch the happy ending to THIS fic, you'll have to read Path, when all the happy memories come back. There are four chapters of it already up, and I'll be diving right in to that next.

So, now that you're all thoroughly depressed, I promise that the final installments of this story will be loaded with humor.

Don't hate me, okay? (Author gives her best endearing smile and tries to look irresistibly forgivable…)