Blame Aristotle

Ch. 4

Out in the Open

Josh's apartment, late at night.

Finally, I'm home – all those damn delays, it's enough to make you crazy. Josh fumbled for his key, finally fishing it out of his pocket and managing to insert it in the lock. He opened the door and absently flipped on the lights, never expecting the tableau that greeted him when he did so.

Donna Moss was in his apartment, on his couch, asleep. But something about her face told him that it was an uneasy sleep.

He just stood there, unmoving, taking in the scene before him as a torrent of emotions battled for supremacy in his heart. That's when he saw them, the tears on her lashes. She had cried herself to sleep, here in his apartment and he hadn't been there.

The last time she had cried here, she was in pain from the physical therapy session she'd had that day. This time, though, he knew that it was a different kind of pain that had caused the tears.

He was the cause.

He walked to the kitchen, shaken by the realization. From his coat pocket he heard the ringer of his cell phone go off.

'Josh Lyman.'

'Josh, it's Leo. Where the HELL are you?'

'I just got home – why ?' Josh replied.

'Have you talked to Donna today? Leo asked.

'No, but.."

Leo cut in "Why not? Wasn't she there when you arrived?" Damn, she said she would wait for him.

'Leo, actually she is asleep on my couch, she didn't hear me come in. Do you know what's going on with her? Josh queried.

'Now, Josh, I think you know why she's there. She talked to me this afternoon, and I know what should be going on between the two of you." Leo replied.

' You know what SHOULD be going on, Leo? What the hell?' Josh's comprehension skills weren't exactly at their best right now.

'Nothing new there, huh?' DevilBoy, oh just great.

'Josh, do you care about Donna? I mean really CARE about her? Or did you just go to Germany out of guilt?

'Leo, why are you…'

'Josh, answer the question. Do you care for Donna? Leo repeated, forcefully.

Josh paused, then swallowed the lump in his throat. "Yes, Leo, I do" he croaked.

'Are you absolutely sure? Because if you are even thinking of hurting her on top of everything else she's been through, I swear I will beat the living crap out of you. You cannot push her away this time, like you've done with other people, Josh." Leo paused.

In a small voice, Josh replied "I know".

'Josh, what did you say?'

' I said, I know, Leo' Josh replied, his voice stronger. 'I had a lot of time to think today, and that thinking led me to some not so flattering conclusions about myself and the way I've treated Donna lately.'

Leo breathed a silent prayer and urged Josh to continue, 'Talk to me Josh'.

'She tried calling my cell phone earlier, but I didn't pick up. I just wasn't ready to face the issue between us right then. I let the call go to voicemail. Then I just sat there thinking. Remembering how she took care of me after the shooting, how she's always kept me from screwing up whenever she could. Seeing in my mind's eye how fiercely loyal she is, and how passionately she will fight for a cause, or a friend."

'I realized that all those qualities used to be mine too. She didn't deserve to be blown off, Leo. She has earned the right to be treated better than that, and I blew it. She has changed, and god, how I love her for it all. I have to make this right, I just don't know how.'

'Josh, ya know what? I think that when Donna wakes up, you two are going to have a very interesting, and probably rather loud, conversation. In fact, I'd invite you two to my hotel for the festivities, but I think the last thing you'd need would be an audience."

Josh chuckled wearily. Leo had a knack for understatement.

'Listen, Josh. Be gentle with her. She's been through a lot, as have you. What she has to say is important for both of you, and you cannot go ballistic on her if you want this to work. You have to listen, you have to understand why this means so much to her. If you can accept what she has to say and be supportive of her decision, you'll be a long way down the road to having something very special between you. Do you understand me?'

Leo waited, hoping against hope that Josh did truly understand what was at stake. If Josh didn't, then it would be over and two people he loved dearly would be miserable beyond comprehension.

Josh took a deep breath, then exhaled slowly. He did realize what was at stake.

'Yes, Leo, I understand. And….Leo?'

'What is it, Josh?'

'Thank you – for everything. I won't let you down.'

'No, Josh. Don't do this for me. Do it for you and Donna. You two deserve to be happy, you've both been through too much to miss this chance."

'Leo, what do you mean?' Josh wasn't sure where Leo was going with this.

'Josh, I've watched you two for the last several years. I have seen you develop a wonderfully vibrant relationship, working and otherwise, with a young woman who has literally blossomed into an amazing lady. I've had to watch helplessly whilst you recovered from the shooting, and again with Donna and the bombing in Gaza. I've seen you both fight for each other, and with each other, God knows. And through it all, I've also seen the misdirection and the denial you have both exercised about your feelings for one another. But no more, I want you two to be honest with each other. Allow each other to know the truth, allow yourselves to know the truth. Be happy.'

'Leo, I'd love to, but the problems it would cause…are you sure?'

'Never more certain in my life.' Leo assured him.

'Leo, I, thanks.' Josh could say no more, but he knew Leo understood.

'Josh, get some sleep, and take care of each other. Alright? 'Cause I really don't want to have to beat the crap outta ya otherwise."

Josh laughed softly. 'OK, Leo, I get the message, G'night.'

'G'night Josh.'

Leo sighed as he replaced the receiver. Dear Lord, please let this work, 'cause the alternative won't be very pretty. Somehow, though, I think we'll be fine.

Next morning, Josh's apartment

Donna stirred, stretching to relieve the kinks that had settled into her muscles while she'd slept. Slowly she sat up on the couch, gradually adjusting to the dim light in the room. She just sat there, reviewing in her mind how she'd wound up there, and what she would say when Josh came home. She stared at her hands, clasped in her lap as if in prayer.

Josh heard the rustling of the couch cushions from his room. She's awake, he thought. Now to let her know that I'm here without scaring the poor thing half to death. Normally scaring Donna out of her wits held a bit of delight for Josh, but not this morning. No, this morning had to be different, he had to do better than that.

He opened the bedroom door enough to see that she was sitting on the couch, just looking down at her hands. Although the tears from last night had dried, she still conveyed an aura of sadness, of quiet desperation mixed with a daring hope that things could be put right. As he stood there gazing at her, her head slowly lifted and turned in his direction.

'You're back.' She whispered quietly.

'Yeah, got in late last night, tried not to disturb you – looked like you needed your rest.' He replied.

'Josh, we need to …'

'I know, talk. May I sit beside you?' Josh waited for her reply, knowing that he couldn't rush this, not this time.

'Sure, I'd like that', she said, scooting over to make room for him.

'Josh, do you know why I'm here?

'Yes, I think I do.'

'Really?' Donna shook her head, this couldn't be happening.

'Yes, you are here because you couldn't take a new job without making sure that I understood the reasons why, no matter what the cost might be.' Josh answered.

'Yes.' She said slowly.

'Tell me, Donna.'

'Can you promise that you won't say anything until I'm finished?' she asked carefully.

'I can promise to try my best, okay?'

'Alright, then. Here goes. I was asked to join the Vice President's campaign, and I have accepted the position. I'll be working as the Press Secretary.'

'Can you tell me why?'

'Josh, you know how I been wanting to do more, to feel more useful and to get on with my career? I need to find out what kind of person I am when I'm not your assistant. I need to know what I am capable of becoming, and I need to do that somewhere other than the office of the Deputy Chief of Staff to the President. Going to work for Russell's campaign is a way of doing that. I need to do this, Josh, can you understand that? You've got to believe that I am not doing this to hurt you, I would never do that, but I have to take this chance, right now. If I don't stand alone now, I might never be able to stand with you in the future.'

Donna waited anxiously while Josh contemplated what she had said.

'Josh?'

'Donna, I'm sorry…'

'What? Oh God, I've gone and screwed this up!! Donna started to shake, her tenuous hold on her nerves was fast slipping away.

'Donna, no wait, it's okay. Listen to me. Shh, don't cry, just hear me out.' Josh gently pleaded, reaching over to grasp her hands between his.

She took a deep breath, and nodded.

'I've been an ass. I blew off our meeting because I had an idea this was brewing and I wasn't ready to deal with it. No, that's not true, I didn't want to deal with it. Not so soon after, after almost losing you forever. I was being selfish, I didn't want you to leave me, so somehow I figured if I kept putting off the meeting, you'd let it drop, never mention it again. I should have known better, because I should know that when you are determined, you will do whatever is necessary to reach that goal. You did it for me after Rosslyn, and again that Christmas. And it cost you dearly, I know that now. Do you want to know how I know?'

Josh paused, and Donna silently urged him to continue, her eyes riveted to his.

'I know the cost, because I repaid it in full when we learned about the attack on the CODEL. Everything ceased to matter, to exist for me at that moment. We had so little information, only Andie telling Toby that she saw you being put into an ambulance, no idea of your condition. On the flight to Germany, I read your emails and realized that you were capable of doing, being more than my assistant. That flight seemed like an eternity, I felt like I was running in place and you were slowly slipping away from me. When I saw you in the hospital, I had hope again, because you woke up and smiled at me. Then again I was in danger of losing you, just like I lost my father. I couldn't have taken it if that had happened, Donna. I made a vow to God, to never hurt you, to cherish you and all you are, if only he would allow you to wake up again, to return to me as the person I knew and loved.'

Donna gasped, ever so quietly, not wanting to break the spell…

'But I broke that vow, and nothing I can do or say can repair it. I can't stand in your way. You are right, you need to find out what you can do without me. I understand this, even though I know it means my life at the office will change drastically without you there. But dare I hope that you are willing to still be a part of my life in spite of everything?"

'I need to know, Donna. Can there be a chance for us to be - us?' His eyes were full of an anxiousness, that daring to hold out hope against overwhelming odds, that they still had a chance to happy.

'Josh, are you saying…' She could barely breathe, a tightness in her heart made things difficult.

'Yes, Donna, I am…' a shy but hopeful smile flooded Josh's face.

'Say it.'

'Donnatella, you make me feel alive, you keep me on my toes and I love you more every day for the person you are. I want to be able help you become even more, I want to support you, comfort you and cherish you. I love you and I want to be in your life. I need you in my life.'

The tears started falling from her eyes as she gifted him with one of the most dazzling smiles imaginable. 'Josh, can this really be true?' she hardly dared to hope.

'Yes, Donna, believe it, believe in us.' Josh bent his head, bestowing the gentlest of kisses upon her lips as she embraced him fiercely, the tears falling unheeded.

'I do believe, Joshua. I do. And I love you too.'

Josh smiled through his own tears, gazing at the remarkable woman beside him.

Hours later, Josh's apartment

'Donna, just so you know. I talked to Leo last night.'

'So did I.'

' You did?'

'I was trying to find you, so I called him, hoping he could tell me something about where you were.'

'Was he any help?'

'More than you will ever know, dumpkiss.' DevilBoy was back.

Now what was that supposed to mean? Josh shook his head, trying to clear the cobwebs..

'Yeah, in a way. How about you? Did offer you any advice? Donna asked.

'Oh, in a manner of speaking – the threat of bodily harm is often a healthy incentive for doing the right thing.' DevilBoy snickered.

'Let's just say that Leo is a closet romantic with no compunction about knocking some sense into me.' Josh ruefully admitted.

'Well, in my case,, I got the impression that he was willing to force-feed me if necessary.' Donna smiled to herself, remembering the concern in Leo's voice the night before.

'Josh, what took us so long to get to this point?' Donna mused.

'Donna, I think we can safely blame Aristotle for this.' Josh replied.

'Aristotle? I don't get it…'

'I'll explain it to you over lunch, 'kay?

'Okay.'

The telephone rang just then.

'Josh Lyman'

'Josh, it's Leo. Is everything okay?'

'Yeah, it's good.'

' Are you sure? Is Donna there, she okay?' Leo pressed, wanting answers.

'Leo, she's here, we're fine, it's gonna be okay. Relax, will ya?'

'Good, good. Take the rest of the day for yourselves. I'm sure that there are things you need to discuss.'

'Thanks Leo, for everything'

'Just stay out of trouble, will ya? Talk to you later.' Leo hung up and sighed.

He sat back in his chair, an ever-widening grin growing on his face.

Finally, those two kids can finally have a chance.