Author's Note: this is a two chapter prequel to an upcoming multi-chaptered story I'm planning called "Darkest Hour" in which the events in here will be referred to along with various events from the anime and manga. It centers around Kagome's thoughts about continuing her double life as she reaches her sixteenth birthday and will carry over into the next story which will be written and posted in about a month. And as usual, I don't own Inu-Yasha it is the brainchild of Rumiko Takahashi
SWEET SIXTEEN
REFLECTIONS
Kagome Higurashi sat under the goshinboku or sacred tree on her family's shrine grounds bathed in the rays of the setting sun where she was in deep thought, reflecting on the past year of her suddenly complicated life; a double life lived in two different ages, 500 years apart. She was pensive in her mood due to the fact that she was three days away from her sixteenth birthday, a passage of sorts into her nearing adulthood. And it was also due to the fact that a certain arrogant hanyou had again managed to make her angry enough to return to her own time.
Sighing, Kagome tried to calm herself down, her emotions high as she obsessed about the most recent in the year long history of disagreements between her and Inu-Yasha. And as usual, the argument had started with his own penchant for insane jealousy, unjustly accusing her of encouraging his arch rival for her affections, Kouga the confident leader of the ookami youkai who was determined to win her. Since he had kidnapped her and became smitten, Kouga had made it abundantly clear that she had full possession of his heart and he was relentless in his pursuit of her. His determination to woo her was second only to his determination to pursue and kill Naraku. This time, it was an innocent kiss that was the prelude to the latest of quarrels between her and Inu-Yasha.
It started as it usually did, with Kouga making an impromptu visit as he and his vassals crossed paths with them while they all were heading back to the village after having unsuccessfully searched for Naraku. Speeding over to her and grasping her hands, the ookami youkai okashira sweetly courted her as he always did, raising the wrath of the silver haired hanyou, who reacted in typical fashion, pushing himself between them as a barrier. Enraged and cracking his claws, Inu-Yasha made to tear his rival to shreds and Kouga with his embedded shards of the Shikon no Tama dodged the attack with ease. As always, the skirmish was quashed when Kagome had stepped between the two, scolding Inu-Yasha for his unreasonable behavior. However this time, livid, fed up and driven by his jealousy Inu-Yasha turned on her, insulting her by referring to her as a common tart who teased and was actually enjoying the battling between him and his enemy. Hurt and angered by his rash judgment, Kagome took off into the woods, running away leaving both wannabe suitors open-mouthed and hanging, just staring after her.
Her eyes filled with tears, Kagome ran as fast as she could, not knowing or even caring where she was going, Inu-Yasha's cruel words echoing in her head, making her cry even harder. Although she was not consciously aware, she was nearing the field where the Bone Eaters well stood and ended up right beside it.
"That baka, how dare he accuse me of teasing and encouraging Kouga-kun? I just see him as a friend and he does protect me all the time. But doesn't he see that's all there is for me? That I love HIM with all my heart? No, he's too busy snapping at me, calling me names and chasing after Kikyo."
Kagome cried harder as she kept running deeper into the forest trying to put as much distance between her and Inu-Yasha as possible. She was so focused on escape that she did not notice the whirlwind that passed her and stopped right in her path, as Kouga emerged and grasped her shoulders, effectively stopping her flight.
Her eyes still blurred by her tears, Kagome reacted in fright, shrieking in protest. "Let go of me!" she demanded as she pounded at the armor and fur clad chest. She snapped her head up and saw the azure orbs in the concerned face of the handsome ookami.
"Kagome, calm down. You're safe, it's just me." Kouga's baritone reached through her dazed despair and she crumpled against him sobbing uncontrollably. His eyes widened in amazement at her sudden action, which was delightful but so unexpected.
"Oh Kouga-kun" she wailed. "I-I'm so sorry about this. Usually I can handle Inu-Yasha when he acts like a jerk. But lately I just can't take any more."
"Hush, Kagome, don't cry." Kouga said gently, wiping away her tears with his fingers in a light caress. "Onegai, it breaks my heart to see you so upset."
He encircled Kagome in his arms, holding her as her tears subsided and stroking her silky midnight head, cradling it against his shoulder as his heart pounded. He was filled with an overpowering desire to move heaven and earth to take away her sorrow. And to tear a certain mangy inukkoro to pieces for saying the things that made her cry.
Kouga took Kagome's shoulders in his hands and pulled back to gaze at her, his heart in the azure depths of his eyes. Slowly, his hands traveled up from her shoulders to cup her face and before she knew what was happening they drew closer as his mouth claimed hers in a soft, sweet kiss. Seeking solace for her ruptured heart and drawn to the gentleness of his gesture, Kagome responded . . .
In the meantime, Inu-Yasha sped through the forest, leaping from branch to branch searching for Kagome, his heart constricted in dread that he might have succeeded in finally driving her away or even worse, into the willing and over eager arms of the fleabag wolf. Kouga had departed as soon as she jettisoned, in pursuit of her and with a growl of protest so had he. His mind was working in overdrive, imagining all kinds of worse case scenarios. And as he got closer and picked up the scent of Kagome's tears, his fury rose when he also picked up the stench of the meddling Kouga, the fool having gotten there first. Then his heart dropped like a stone and his rage grew to epic proportions as he saw the tender exchange and witnessed his worse nightmare come true. He shot forward.
"ARRRAGH! YOU FILTHY BASTARD!" Inu-Yasha howled as he swooped down, sending both Kouga and Kagome flying apart with his sheer power. Snarling like a rabid animal, he unsheathed his claws menacingly as he stood over an astonished and prone ookami.
"How DARE you! How dare you kiss her! I'm gonna tear you to shreds!" the hanyou growled as his eyes flashed red, the rage pulsing through him stimulating his youkai blood to flowing.
Kouga jumped to his feet and confronted the livid inu hanyou his own anger kindled as he retorted, "Oy, Inukkoro, what's the deal? You've never claimed Kagome as yours, as I have." So you're way out of line here."
But the hanyou was beyond reason. "You mangy ookami, I've told you to stay away from her and now I'm gonna take care of you once and for all." Inu-Yasha's snarl was punctuated by his face partially transforming to his youkai state, with eyes crimson and fangs bared.
By this time Kagome had recovered and noted with amazement, as it appeared that the intense fury of the inu hanyou was causing him to transform. It was something that was unexpected for the buffer to his previous transformations, the Tetsusaiga, was still at his side, riding on his left hip.
Worried for him she jumped to her feet, ran to him and entreated, "Inu-Yasha, please listen. Nothing happened, Kouga was just---," but she was cut off when he viciously slapped her aside.
"Shut up. I don't want to hear it, you're just as much to blame," he snapped, glaring at her. "Always encouraging him with your ambiguous ways, like a hoyden. You both sicken me!"
Her eyes flew open in amazement at his harsh statement and stunned she stepped back as if slapped.
Outraged, Kouga leapt to his feet and helped Kagome up then got into the hanyou's face. "Inukkoro, you watch your mouth and don't hurt her or I'll rip your guts out."
Inu-Yasha's eyes flashed red as he ground out. "That's my line, ookami. Touch her again with your filthy lips and I'll spill your belly out on the grass."
Kouga snorted in derision as he countered, "You're despicable, Inukkoro. All this time you have dallied with her heart doing nothing then presume the worst even though having claimed Kagome as my mate, I have every right to hold and caress her."
Like throwing gasoline on a fire, Kouga's words served to intensify the raging inferno of Inu-Yasha's fury. He growled and leapt up with his right arm raised, his claws lengthened to deadly talons as he dived down to deliver an attack as the ookami scion jumped and dodged the onslaught. Kouga's eyes filled with dismay as his instincts blared to him a warning, which he heeded and took off with a swirling eddy in his wake.
"Arrragh!" Inu-Yasha growled as he turned and glared balefully at Kagome. "As usual, the coward flees. And you--,"
Kagome's own ire had risen and grew as she watched the previous skirmish and she unleashed her wrath, uncaring about the hanyou's semi-transformed state. She returned the glare as she cut him off.
"Don't you even start, Inu-Yasha. You're the one that started this whole thing, with your baseless accusations and jealousy. And since you have no claim on me, you really have no right to be so."
Her fury had acted as a catharsis to his own as his now amber eyes widened and he sputtered, "N-nani?"
"You heard me. For a year I've stood by your side and fought with you, even though you've treated me with little respect, constantly insulting and belittling me. You become upset when I leave and go to my own time to make sure I have a future, and when I don't come back at your appointed time, you come after me and wreak havoc like you did at the Culture Festival."
"Wreak havoc?" Inu-Yasha said incredulously. "May I remind you that it was you that brought back the youkai that revived and caused all the trouble? Humph, if I had listened to you and stayed home, the youkai would have slain all you humans. " He snorted haughtily, "If not for me you'd have been dead a long time ago."
Kagome got in his face and retorted, "And without me, you wouldn't know where the shards are or even have had the Tetsusaiga. May I remind YOU that I was the one that pulled it out at your father's tomb?"
He sputtered, "Okay fine. So it's established that we need each other. But you can't deny that you encourage that wimpy ookami to hang around, panting after you. You never scold him for his behavior yet you always blame me when we mix it up because I'm protecting you from the baka." Nevertheless, his words fell on deaf ears and Inu-Yasha blinked in disbelief as her tirade continued.
"Not to mention that you leave me and go off as soon as you sense Kikyo's presence. I'm beginning to feel that the rest of my life is passing by me and this whole thing here is getting old." She took a deep breath and continued in a more subdued manner. "It's my sixteenth birthday in a few days and I need to go home and think about my future. I don't know when or if I'm coming back."
Kagome's words were like a knife that was thrust into Inu-Yasha's heart and twisted. He stammered, "Y-you're not coming back?"
She sighed as she said quietly, "I-I don't know. I'm supposed to start high school soon and then I want to go to college and find a career so I know what I want to do with the rest of my life."
Inu-Yasha asked, "The rest of your life? What the hell does that mean?"
Kagome sighed again as she explained as if to a not-so-bright child. "My life is in my world and there when you're my age you start deciding what you want to do as a profession." She came closer to the hanyou and added in a sad manner, "Inu-Yasha, as much as I want to stay and help you, I have to think of my life. I've been avoiding it all this time but now with becoming sixteen I have to make some decisions."
Her declaration made him speechless as he just stared at her, watching her as she turned away. Kagome then went to the side of the well and perched on the edge but before she made the leap down, she made a request.
"Onegai Inu-Yasha, this time don't follow me. I need this time during my birthday to think things through without pressure from you. So understand onegai?" She slid off the edge and descended into the well.
A flash of pink and she was gone, leaving the hanyou in stunned silence.
Kagome sighed as she reflected upon the conversation with Inu-Yasha and although it had torn her to say the words she spoke to him, she knew it was the practical course to take. She had been feeling the need to define her life in a tangible manner, a clear sign that she was growing up. She was also beginning to feel that her double life was something that she could no longer sustain.
The door to her house slid open and her mother stepped out into the golden light of the waning day to deposit the trash in the receptacle just to the side. Mrs. Higurashi glanced over at the goshinboku and waved at her daughter, sitting there looking as if she had the weight of the world on her shoulders. The older woman sighed and went over to her first born.
"Kagome?" Her warm chocolate eyes, so much like her daughter's gazed in concern as she took a seat beside Kagome on a large root under the canopy of leaves that the goshinboku spread above them like a protective hood.
Kagome turned and looked into her mother's face, seeing as always comfort and support for whatever she was grappling with like the day she fled Inu-Yasha after seeing him in Kikyo's embrace. That day, she felt the freedom to let the tears flow that had gathered and had been held in as she sought and found the sanctuary of her mother's arms.
She sighed as she greeted, "Oh hi Mama, I'm sorry I didn't come right in, I wanted to just sit here under the tree and think. I'm going to be sixteen in three days."
Mrs. Higurash smiled as she nodded and wrapped an arm about her. "Hai, I know. Ji-chan and I were wondering what you wanted to do to celebrate. Maybe go out to dinner or have a party with all your friends."
All my friends Kagome mused glumly. Thanks to me not being at school, there aren't many here and I can't invite Shippou, Kaede, Sango, and Miroku. And I really don't want Inu-Yasha here, he'd just hassle me. "I guess a party would be okay but since I haven't been at school that much it'll only be a few people, probably just Yuka, Eri, and Ayumi."
"What about that nice boy that brought you that lovely basket of fruit when you were sick?" her mother wanted to know.
"Houjo?" Kagome said in surprise.
The intrepid and persistent class hunk as her friends all referred to was the last person she considered since every time he tried to spend time with her, she blew him off, rushing back to her other life in the Sengoku-jidai, and her true love Inu-Yasha. But Houjo was undaunted in his pursuit of her, even making sure she knew that he had an ancestor with her name in his family records, an ancestor that she had actually met and with whom she had defeated a demon that wanted the Houjo family heirloom the Heaven Sword. That demon had captured her and was about to take her away when Inu-Yasha as usual stepped in to rescue her.
Sheesh, even when I'm talking about something else I just can't get him out of my mind! She mentally exclaimed in disgust as she shrugged and responded, "I could ask him. But he's probably busy, maybe even going steady with someone." It was probably true that by now that Houjo would have given up on her and turned his attention elsewhere. At least she could hope so.
Her mother smiled as she stated, "It won't hurt to ask him now would it?"
Kagome said resignedly, "I guess."
She sighed again as Mrs. Higurashi glanced over and noticed her daughter's reticence. In typical knowing mother fashion she correctly ascertained, "You had another fight with Inu-Yasha, didn't you?"
Kagome smiled wanly as she replied, "How'd you guess?"
Mrs. Higurashi answered, "It doesn't take much. You left just a week ago and weren't due back until your birthday. Did he do something to make you upset?"
Kagome sniffed, "Kouga came to see me and one thing led to another so he and Inu-Yasha fought and when I tried to break it up, he accused me of encouraging Kouga and called me a tart so I came home."
Her mother shook her head pityingly. "Oh Kagome."
Kagome lowered her head and nodded wordlessly as tears fell again. "Oh Mama, he's such a jerk sometimes and so mean. I've had it!" She crumpled into her mother's bosom like a toddler and bawled, unable to keep the anguish in any longer.
"Hush now, it's all right," her mother soothed as she stroked her daughter's midnight mane, blowing about in the gentle, evening breeze. "Just give him time to cool off and he'll come and make up with you, just like he always does."
Kagome pulled away as she looked straight into Mrs. Higurashi's eyes and sniffled, "Not this time he won't. I told him not to follow me, that I had to be alone here to think about my future and I do." She sighed as she brushed her tears away. "I've been thinking a lot about my future lately Mama, and I'm beginning to think that maybe it wouldn't be a bad thing for me to stop going down the well and stay right here. You agree, don't you?"
Her mother said, "I agree with what you agree with, it's your life."
Kagome smiled as she saw what made her mother stand out among her peers, Mrs. Higurashi's unwavering support of her children no matter what. But this time she wanted a parental decree to justify and affirm her own thoughts so she asked again, "But tell me, Mama. You do agree that I should be concentrating on my life here, in the time I was born, don't you?"
Diplomatic as always Mrs. Higurashi replied, "Of course I want you to have a secure and successful future, I'm your mother. But I will say that your happiness is important to me as well and I thought you were happy going to the Sengoku-jidai to help Inu-Yasha and all your other friends."
Kagome stared ahead at a flock of sparrows silhouetted against the orange glow of sunset. "I was. But since I passed the entrance exam into high school, I've been thinking about my life and where I want to be in the future."
Her mother remarked, "By the way, we are so proud of you for passing." It was true, for in spite of her many absences and her trips to the past, Kagome took the stringent exams for entrance into high school and not only passed but managed to garner scores in the middle percentile, quite extraordinary in lieu of her poor attendance record.
"Arigatou, Mama." Kagome said in gratitude. She then added, "And with my sixteenth birthday coming I'm just thinking it's time I start to walk the life path that is here in the time I was born." She then said, "But I wish I could be sure I'm making the right decision."
Mrs. Higurashi smiled as she said, "Well, whatever you decide Kagome, I know you'll make the right choice because you're a bright and sensible young woman." She got up from the tree root she had been sitting on and suggested, "C'mon and help me. It's almost dinnertime and after we eat, we can plan your party."
"Hmm," Kagome nodded noncommittally as she rose to follow her mother. But as she made to head into the house, she could not help but glance at the old shed which housed the well that was her portal to the past and she pondered as to what was happening back down there 500 years in the past. . . .
At that same moment several centuries past stood the Bone Eater's well bathed in the gold and pinks of sunset as a red clad figure sat disconsolately at its edge. Inu-Yasha was still reeling from the news that Kagome had imparted, her words haunting him and echoing in the breeze as he sat there still in shock. His mind whirled as he tried to come to terms with the very real possibility that he could never see Kagome again and the thought left an empty, hollow void in his heart.
She's not coming back? Then how the hell am I gonna get the last shard of the Shikon No Tama? And how am I gonna kill Naraku and get my revenge? Inu-Yasha groused as he sat with arms folded and scowled darkly like a petulant child. But then as the disheartening words repeated themselves in his head his attitude changed with his mood, which became desolate and so he began another line of questions.
Why is she so upset with me? And why doesn't she want me to come to be with her in her time, she never minded before. Why the change? What did I do? This can't have anything to do with that mangy Kouga she never got mad enough to leave for good before. The hanyou wracked his brain to try to find out what changed things between him and the love of his life. With a growing ache in his heart he then began to wonder.
What am I gonna do if she decides to never come back? What am I gonna do without her, I'll be all alone again, with nobody to protect. Inu-Yasha closed his eyes and tried to imagine life without the pink bicycle, bell ringing as Kagome rode it, her raven hair flying behind her gracefully in the wind, blending with his own silver locks as he rode perched behind her. The sweet sound of her laughter as she and Shippou frolicked in a hot spring or when she and Sango slumbered by a campfire, the way the light played on her delicate features, these were some of the many things that he had grown to cherish. The mere thought of never seeing Kagome again was enough to send an icy chill wrapping its fingers around his soul and Inu-Yasha shivered in spite of the warm breeze.
"Mmmm, you're tasty as always, Inu-Yasha-sama," a gravelly voice spoke from just below.
His lonely reverie was interrupted by the prick of something biting his neck, and the sound of sucking as Inu-Yasha slapped his hand down and the tiny vassal, Myouga the flea fluttered down. The hanyou picked him up and held him in his claws.
"Humph! Myouga-jijii, what brings you here?" Inu-Yasha scowled as he looked in suspicion at the flea, knowing his vassal's usual modus operandi was to be among the missing except when the fair wind was blowing.
"Actually, I witnessed your little altercation with Kouga and the disagreement you had with Kagome because of it. I also heard her say she may not return. Is that the source of your melancholy, sire?" Myouga inquired with the sagacity of one matured.
Inu-Yasha snorted in derision as he scoffed, "Hardly, jijii. If that is her choice then I say good riddance. The wench is more trouble than she's worth and I am quite tired of the problems she causes, getting abducted and making me waste time to rescue her." He got to his feet and began to pace restlessly as he warmed up to the subject. "Besides, if she's gone for good, I won't have to worry about that tick-ridden ookami always sniffing around because now I can kill the baka and she won't be around to save his scrawny ass." He stopped and with arms folded, stood arrogantly with his head held up.
The flea hopped to the well edge and admonished his lord. "Inu-Yasha-sama, you can't fool me," Myouga pointed out. "It's quite clear and has been for some time that you are smitten with the girl." In spite of the hanyou's look of assumed outrage the vassal blithely continued, "You were inconsolable when you thought she had perished in the fire at the temple that Renkotsu of the Shichinin-tai had set."
Inu-Yasha's amber eyes clouded as he remembered the incident in question and how he had sunk to his knees and cradled the cool, limp form of Kagome in his arms. At the time he figured her dead, begging for her forgiveness for not recognizing the bastard Renkotsu for one of the group of revived assassins that Naraku had set upon them. He recalled how his world had shattered as he tried to come to terms with the loss of his beloved and he clutched her tightly to him as he grimly fought the tears that wanted to come. The raw anguish he felt before she had weakly protested that he was holding on too tight was so bleak and the pain so intense that when he saw she was alive, the tears he held in leaked out.
The memories now haunting Inu-Yasha had caused the emerging of dormant feelings that intensified the existing feeling of emptiness he felt as soon as Kagome said those words that he had always dreaded hearing. Kami, I never thought I would ever feel like this. Ever since my mother died and left me alone I never thought I was capable of loving someone like this, like I will die if she decides to stay away for good. This is just why I wanted the completed Shikon No Tama to become full youkai so I would never again lose my heart to a woman as I did to Kikyo. But it happened again, I have lost my heart and this time it feels as if I'll never have it back again. It is Kagome's completely to do with what she will. But now I wonder if she knows or even cares.
His brooding thoughts were interrupted by the high pitched voice of Shippou, the kitsune cub as he called out, "INU-YASHA! KAGOME!" The fox child came scampering from the distance with Miroku the houshi, and Sango the taijiya bringing up the rear.
The sight of his companions meant a sure barrage of questions and accusations so the hanyou inwardly groaned as he turned to Myouga and hissed, "Don't you dare say one word to them about what Kagome said about not coming back, you got me? Or I'll smash you so hard you won't be able to recover." His amber eyes were narrowed with the threat implied and the flea gulped nervously.
Always a self-preservationist, Myouga bowed in subservience. "As you wish, sire."
NEXT……CONCLUSION...A HARD DECISION