They get cute uniforms, and fight for love against monsters and cute guys in effeminate clothing.
Me? I get a turned purple, a tail, and fight ninjas. All right, so the ninjas /are/ pretty cool...
You know how every kid dreams that their parents aren't really their parents and that they're really a magical princess from fairy land? Any minute their real parents are going to swoop down and pick them up and take them away to... I don't know, ride ponies forever; whatever. All I really have to say to those kids is: Be careful what you wish for.
"You see Emily... /I/ am your real father!"
"What! WHAT? Okay, okay, NO! The whole, 'I'm a talking lizard thing' I'll accept/for the moment/ (I still think Stank slipped something into my drink). But you're trying to tell me that a four foot long talking lizard is my /DAD? Nope, sorry, dream over. Make with the going away now."
"All right, all right... I'm not really your dad," the red and green lizard sighed quietly. It was bad enough trying to get her to realize that he was not just a 'lizard' but a full blown salamander. He wasn't quite willing to burn down her house just yet. Maybe if she kept talking...
"No crap Liz."
"Look, I've told you, my name is... well my actual name isn't really pronounceable in human. It's something like a mix between a Dragon screech, and the sound a scale makes when it's being molted. But that's not the point. You should be able to say it with some practice, you should certainly be able to understand it! MOreover, I've already told you to call me Screeshin."
She rolled her eyes at the overly dramatic lizard. She might have been freaked out if she wasn't thoroughly convinced that this was a dream. Seriously, who believed in crap like salamanders? Wasn't that something those D&D nerds were always playing with?
"You see Emily, strictly speaking I'm more like a god-uncle... Also strictly speaking, you're not actually human." If she didn't know better, she would have sworn he was sounding concerned about her."
"Uh-huh, sure thing. Not human. All these humany-bits? Strictly fake, probably peel off like play dough right?"
Seriously, he was going to just burn the house down... she'd survive it. "No, your particular elemental makeup has taken a human form. For the moment. Look, you can't tell me you haven't been feeling... weird lately. You've always been a late bloomer. Had your first period much later than normal?"
How did a giant lizard know about her period? She'd started faking them after all the other girls at school had had theirs already. She'd only just gotten one about four months ago. Scree obviously saw the confused look on her face. "You have a longer life cycle than humans, though you share a lot of their physiological similarities. Unfortunately, you're about to start hitting your version of puberty. The problem is... I can't guarantee that you'll maintain your current form after puberty."
"Wh-what are you talking about?" Dream or not, this was getting freaky enough to make a difference.
But at least Screeshin was making progress, "The long version can wait until you're a bit more acclimated to your existence. The short version goes- You're the descendant of a long line of elementals. Primarily fire and earth elementals. Though I think the fire side of the family is a bit more dominant. Your family, was once human, lived in a magical city called Mu. Many things were done with contact to alternate planes in that place. Your family was one of the first to make contact with elemental planes. In order to secure alliances with the powers that be in that plane, your family married into a few elemental families (Salamanders and Rock Dwarves, for the most part). Ever since then, their lineage has mixed with elementals. Occasionally the children born are throwbacks, entirely mundane human. More often, they're like you. A minor elemental, with human like appearance. We dump them in the human world to honor the old ways. At puberty, they come more into their nature, and lose their human form. Like a lizard molting, as it were. Normally, that's just fine, as their spirit selfs are able to find their way to us. Unfortunately, there are times when we must suspend a child's reformation into element. Usually it's when there is a threat to the community that cannot be dealt with through normal channels."
"Seriously Scree, your story gets dumber by the minute... So now I'm, like, some scion of Moo and I'm going to... what, burst into flames any minute now?"
"Or Rock. Or some blend there of, maybe a living flow of lava. You're a minor elemental Emily, a Mephit. It's nigh impossible to tell what you'll become."
"So I'm like some kind of royalty in the elemental world?"
He actually laughed at her. It didn't help his case. "Oh no, no. You're a long way away from the days of elemental princes. If this was England, you'd be like the Queen's fifty-third cousin, eight times removed. It's a great fact to pull out at parties, but the true royalty will laugh if you try to bum a fin."
"Yeah, right. So what's this threat that you can't deal with on your own?" Maybe she could just go back to sleep... Could you sleep in dreams?
Scree sighed a bit. "We don't know. Our seers predict... Are you pinching yourself?" She immediately stopped and acted like she was just scratching an itch. Why wouldn't the dratted thing shut up? "/Our seers predict/ that a threat from outside sources must be met, but they don't have any real specifics. It was decided that one of the mephits be tapped. You're the lucky gal."
"So what does all this entail exactly, assuming I agree to it?"
"Well, you need a binding force. Something to keep you in your current form, but still release your full elemental potential. That's where I come in. As a progenitor of your line, I can bond with you, thus sealing your form."
"No way. I am /not/ going to be a Salawhatsis... No lizard for me, thanks"
"Look, here's the thing about this. Your choices? Really limited. You've been chosen to be tapped. You can either erupt into elemental form, and wander alone forever as a traitor and derelict of duty, or you can bind with me, and be a hero. And no, you're not going to become a /freakin' lizard!"
"You know what, why the hell not. It's about time this whole stupid dream ended, come on in, Scree. Let's get this over with."
Yeah, I'm a minor elemental. Not /truly/ human. But I get a human body, with a couple extras I'm not exactly fond of. Turns out that the biggest threat to the community was a this asian gang called the "Tsoo". They deal minorly in magical artifacts, and more importantly, tend to force elemental spirits into subjugation to fuel there powers. Of course that couldn't be allowed to stand, so here I am. Fighting off ninjas and whoever else stands in my way.
Oh well, at least I don't have to do it all in high heels and a short skirt.