A HARD DECISION
Three days later, it was Kagome's sixteenth birthday and the Higurashi shrine was festive save for the birthday girl herself whose mood had gotten even more introspective and dark. Kagome was laying in her bed this morning, studying the ceiling tiles as her mind wandered over the dilemma that plagued her since she returned. She had spent the last couple of days deep in thought as she painstakingly went over the pros and cons of her living two separate lives. The pros were represented by her warm and close ties to Sango, Miroku, Kaede, and of course little Shippou and in the discovery of her emerging miko powers, that she was just beginning to tap into. Then there were the cons, the way she was missing school and how the major events of her life in the modern time was passing her by like friends and dating. And finally there was Inu-Yasha who although he was a plus, he also was the big minus and the foundational reason for her unrest.
Kagome sighed as she for the umpteenth time pondered over the relationship she had with the obstinate hanyou and she thought back on the adventures she had experienced by his side, searching for jewel shards and fighting the fearsome Naraku. There was so many times he had protected and rescued her from situations that had besieged them as their enemies foolishly looked at her as the weakest link. However, they soon found that to be a fatal mistake as her capture would only serve to unleash Inu-Yasha's wrath and subsequently his power against them. And then there were times that she admitted with regret that they were right.
Maybe I would be doing Inu-Yasha and everybody else a big favor by not coming back Kagome mused glumly I mean, they won't have to rescue me when Naraku or someone else tries to waste me. And Inu-Yasha can become full youkai without me there to keep him. He can have his heart's desire and go with Kikyo any time he wants without being guilty or afraid he's hurting my feelings.
A knock on her bedroom door shook her from her reverie and she sat up as her kid brother Souta burst in with all the exuberance of a nine year-old. He presented her with a brightly wrapped gift and an ear-to-ear grin.
"Happy birthday, nee-chan," he sang out as Buyo the cat accompanied him and leapt up onto her bed, curling up beside her with a loud purr.
Kagome smiled as she took the package and said, "Arigatou, Souta."
"Open it, nee-chan!" the boy gazed at her with his button eyes aglow as he waited eagerly.
"Okay, okay." She slipped a finger in the side and tore the shiny paper of a box that opened up to reveal a bracelet and matching earrings that had pink crystals that identically resembled the shards of the Shikon No Tama. Kagome fingered them with a sad smile, deeply touched.
Souta frowned as he saw his sister's reaction to his gift. "Don't you like them, nee-chan? I got them 'cause they looked just like those shards we had that time Inu-nii-chan came and saved you from that Noh mask. Remember?"
Kagome's mind then reflected on that experience when out of nowhere the courageous and dashing inu hanyou came to her rescue just as the jewel-possessed mask was about to consume her. Sadly she just kept staring at them as she responded softly, "I remember, Souta." She leaned over and planted a kiss on his cheek as she said, "They're beautiful, arigatou."
Souta blushed in pleasure as he scurried to the door and then said, "I better go and help Mama to set up for your party. Is Inu-nii-chan coming too?"
Her brother's eyes were bright and hopeful and Kagome felt like a heel to break the news to him but she took a deep breath and shook her head. "I'm afraid not this time."
"Why not?"
Kagome sighed as she replied, "It's complicated, Souta. But he's not coming."
Undaunted, her brother demanded, "How come?"
She became exasperated as she snapped, "He's just not coming, okay?" At her brother's crestfallen face she jumped from the bed and knelt down, grasping his shoulders as she softened her manner. She explained, "Look Souta, I know you really like Inu-Yasha and look up to him but you have to face the fact that he's not from this age and can't come here all the time. So just accept that, okay?"
His mouth puckered into a pout and he lowered his head in disappointment as he turned and exited. Kagome got up and turned to see Buyo gazing at her inquiringly as if he too were wondering why. She squatted down and stared at the cat face to face.
"Don't tell me you mind if Inu-Yasha doesn't come here any more. He's always torturing you when he's here so I'm sure you'll be glad if you never see him again."
The cat stared back and replied with a loud "MEOW" which made Kagome smile and sent her into a little chuckle. Her smile fading, she then sighed, resigned to her decision and the inevitable. . .
At the same time in Kaede's hut, there was a discussion taking place, rather an argument with Shippou confronting a stubborn Inu-Yasha who was sitting with his hands in his sleeves and his eyes closed trying to ignore the persistent kitsune. And as observers were Miroku and Sango both also gazing at the hanyou with questions in their eyes.
Shippou demanded, "So why aren't you going to get Kagome, Inu-Yasha? She's been gone for three days now and it's time she came back. You have to go and get her."
"Keh," Inu-Yasha snorted. "Who died and left you boss?"
Sango spoke up, "He's right, Inu-Yasha. After all you're the only one who can travel through the well and go get her."
"True," Miroku interjected. "Kagome-sama is needed before we set out again to search for the last shard. She's the only one who can help us get it before Naraku does."
"Baka, you think I don't know that!" Inu-Yasha roared as he leapt to his feet. He glared at his three friends and added, "Besides, she said when she left that she had to go home for her birth day, whatever that is."
"Birthday? I guess that the people in Kagome-chan's time celebrate every year," Sango said. "I vaguely remember celebrating the day of my birth when I was seven years called Shichi-go-san but as I grew older there were no more celebrations, my mother had died and me and Kohaku had constantly been busy training with father.
"Aa," Miroku agreed, "For me, Mushin-sama celebrated Shichi-go-san when I was five. Surely you had the same celebration when you were five, Inu-Yasha."
Thinking, the hanyou spoke grudgingly, "I sorta remember my mother celebrating the day I was born when I was about that age. She made me my first kimono made from the cloth woven from the hair of the fire-rat to wear."
Shippou piped up, "And when I was three, okaa-san and otou-san celebrated with me. We all had a special dinner and then went bathing together in the hot springs." He sighed as he said, "I wish we could go to Kagome's home and celebrate her day of birth with her. But only Inu-Yasha can go and he won't." He glared resentfully at Inu-Yasha who stood up and crossed his arms as he stared out the doorway at the cloud spattered late afternoon sky.
"Keh, for your information runt, Kagome told me not to come and get her so I won't." He whirled about and glowered at the kitsune as he snapped, "And that's final."
"But why would she say that?' Shippou asked with big aqua eyes.
Inu-Yasha felt a twinge of guilt as he scanned the room of inquiring faces waiting for an answer. He shook the emotion off and scoffed, "How the hell should I know? I'm not a mind reader and if I was I couldn't figure out her muddled mess in a thousand years."
"I see," Miroku said with a long-suffering sigh. "You had a fight with her over Kouga…again."
"Iie, I did not," Inu-Yasha protested with a glare. "It wasn't about that fleabag ookami at all."
"But you did have a quarrel with her and she left…right?" the houshi persisted.
Inu-Yasha glowered at him. "That's none of your business, bonzu."
Sango and Shippou exchanged exasperated glances as Miroku said resignedly, "That pretty much confirms that theory." The trio all gazed at the hanyou with varying degrees of annoyance and he grunted in disgust.
Then there was an uncomfortable silence as the air was filled with the tension that usually accompanied a tiff between the hanyou and the miko from the future. Sango then spoke as she brightened, "I have an idea. Why don't we all give her a celebration of our own when she returns?"
"That's a capital idea," Miroku stated. "We'll honor Kagome-sama for everything she does for us."
"Hai, hai!" Shippou crowed in glee. "Let's do that! We'll give her presents and make special food and everything." Kirara mewed her approval, making it unanimous save for one….
Inu-Yasha.
At the excited chatter the hanyou made a face and retorted, "You all are daft, wasting precious time on the frivolous, like a celebration for Kagome when we still have to find the final shard before Naraku and kill the bastard. Or have you all forgotten what he's done to all of our lives?" He addressed each one individually as he continued, "He cursed your family, Miroku. And slew yours enslaving your brother, Sango."
His words hung in the air, bringing down the spirits among the trio for the moment. Sango replied testily, "We haven't forgotten a thing, Inu-Yasha. But we all love Kagome-chan and want to show her how much we appreciate her, sacrificing her life in her comfortable time to come here and help us."
"That's right," Shippou retorted. "I would think that you most of all would want to show how much you love her--,"
He did not get a chance to finish because he was silenced by a hearty WHAP that was Inu-Yasha bringing down his fist on the kitsune's titian head, eliciting a cry from the little one and an admonition from the rest.
Shippou scurried over to Sango's lap wailing and she sent a frigid glare the hanyou's way as Miroku said to Inu-Yasha reproachfully, "Why do you have to be so rough on Shippou, Inu-Yasha? He's just a child."
"Keh," Inu-Yasha snorted as he felt at his wits' end. It was bad enough that three days later he was still smarting from the sting of Kagome refusing to let him accompany her back to her home with the cryptic request she made but he did not have the heart to tell their friends what she said about not returning. And with that in mind, he remained close-mouthed about her possible plans to leave them all for good. But now with the entire group planning a celebration for Kagome and the very real fact that she may not even return to attend it was the final straw. So he decided to jettison. Glowering, he strode to the door and exited the hut, then leapt away, leaving his three friends staring after him dumbfounded.
Leaping rapidly through the wilderness, Inu-Yasha had worked himself into a fine temper, indignantly berating Kagome for her words as he rushed to a destination unknown until he reached the clearing with the well. By the time he reached there the sun had dipped in the sky toward the horizon, signifying the end of the third day. He stopped there momentarily as her words again haunted him…
"Onegai Inu-Yasha, this time don't follow me. I need this time during my birthday to think things through without pressure from you. So understand onegai?"
"Keh, that damned wench! She can't say those things and expect me to just sit back and take it. She owes me an explanation and I'm going to get it. The hell with what she wants," the irate hanyou declared as he jumped into the well and was engulfed in a pink flash. . . .
In the modern day Higurashi shrine, the sound of dance music wafted through the open windows of the residence of the birthday girl where the party was in full swing, and far more lively than had been originally anticipated. As it turned out, after school most of Kagome's class came over, despite the fact that she only gave invitations to her three friends Yuka, Eri, and Ayumi. And of course, Houjo had overheard her inviting the trio so she had no choice but to include him as well or run the risk of being rude. But word had gotten around and almost the whole class showed up at her door, bearing presents and bringing well wishes which she guiltily accepted.
Kagome sat on the sofa in her parlor watching everybody as they danced, laughed, and had a good time as she mused Man, who would've guessed that my whole class would come for my birthday? The only ones I invited were Yuka, Eri, Ayumi, and Houjo-kun and only him because he overheard me talking to them. I'm glad now that Mama made so much food, but still we had to order about five pizzas to feed everybody and they're having fun but why do I feel so down? She continued, Come on Kagome, you know why you're so down it's because--,
Her friend Ayumi, who sat beside her, breathless from the last dance with her new boyfriend Daisuke, interrupted her thought. "Hey Kagome-chan, this is a great party, aren't you having fun?"
Kagome pasted a pseudo-cheery smile on her pretty face. "Hai, I'm having a blast really. And I'm glad everybody else is."
Ayumi, perpetually cheerful smiled and said in appreciation. "By the way, I love your outfit. Red and white look really good on you."
Kagome smiled as she looked down at her party frock. She had chosen to wear a candy apple red mini dress with a halter top and a white silk jacket with her abundant raven hair tied back with a white ribbon. Tendrils of hair flanked her cheeks and she wore a red gloss on her lips, making her appear very much what she was, an attractive young woman.
"I agree Higurashi. You look gorgeous," a warm male voice sounded and Kagome looked up to see Houjo standing before her with a sweet, shy smile. His ultramarine eyes twinkled making Kagome's cheeks turn pink under his regard.
"A-arigatou," she stammered as Ayumi discreetly rose and disappeared. Houjo then took the seat beside Kagome as inwardly she groaned and flashed a bright smile while she plotted her escape. . . .
Meanwhile at the well, Inu-Yasha emerged from the pink glow of the time slip and perched on the edge, his ears pricked forward at the driving beat of the modern music. He scoffed, "Keh, sounds almost as if there's a siege going on in there, this age is noisy as well as stench filled." As he always did when he first arrived in the future, he wrinkled his sensitive nose at the faint but present odor of automobile exhaust that scented the polluted atmosphere of 21st century Tokyo.
He continued grousing, "Why is it when she can be in a clean place with fresh air with all of us, that she wants to be here?" Inu-Yasha pondered the question then hung his head as he admitted, "Probably because of me she wants to stay here and not come back, she must be really mad at me. But with all that noise there's probably a lot of Kagome's human friends in her hut so I can't go in there and talk to her now, keh she'd probably sit me anyway."
The hanyou jumped down and walked up the steps of the well house to peer out and at Kagome's house and then glancing back and forth and seeing that the coast was clear, he dashed through the door to the shrine grounds. Spotting the goshinboku, Inu-Yasha leapt up into the branches, hiding within the foliage while it afforded him an unobstructed view of the door to the house.
Keh, she's bound to come out sooner or later and when she does, I'll make her explain to me why she doesn't want to come back. And I ain't leavin' till she does Inu-Yasha stubbornly declared as he leaned back against the tree's trunk and settled in for what he figured was a long wait. . .
In at the party, Kagome was still seated on the sofa feigning interest as Houjo chatted brightly on about things that should have meaning but made her feel completely alienated as they were events at school that she had missed due to her countless "illnesses". Guilt overtook her as she realized that was the reason why her class came to celebrate her birthday, they all probably figured with all her maladies and afflictions it was quite likely that she would not live to see her adulthood. She bit her lip in consternation as she suddenly felt like a fraud.
Kagome leapt up and said, "Forgive me, Houjo. I-I need some air."
He too rose and grasped her elbow, halting her flight and frowned in concern. "All this excitement must be too much for you, Higurashi. I'll take you outside to get some air."
She tried to pull away as she laughed nervously. "Iie, Houjo-kun You don't have to do that---," but as usual, the amiable youth was undaunted.
"Don't be silly. After all, you're the birthday girl and you are my date at this party so it's my duty to look after you."
"Y-your…date?" Kagome said incredulously but seeing her surprise Houjo just chuckled as he took her elbow and guided her through the throng of dancing partygoers to the kitchen where her mother, brother, and grandfather all were gathered. The three gaped at them as Houjo was leading Kagome to the door.
"Is everything all right?" Mrs. Higurashi asked in concern but Kagome shook her head and spoke over her shoulder.
"I'm fine, Mama. We're just going outside for a bit." And Houjo slid the door open and waited for her to precede him out to the shrine grounds. . .
Up in the goshinboku from his perch, Inu-Yasha shot up when he saw a petite, familiar feminine form clad in red and white with her midnight chignon blowing in the breeze. He could not help but gaze in grudging appreciation, as under his breath he made a comment.
"Keh, again she's wearing next to nothing! Why don't the females in this age cover themselves decently, they all dress so revealing, it's vulgar." The hanyou's amber orbs were drawn to Kagome's shapely legs and in his betraying human weakness he felt his body respond in a heated tightening of his loincloth, irritating him further.
Down below, Kagome had stepped out from the house, bathed in the combined glow of the setting sun and rising full moon making her both gold and silver tipped like a heavenly being. She raised her head to gaze at the starry evening sky and Inu-Yasha was mesmerized as he was the night he was caught studying her and she awoke, giving him a sound slap across his cheek. But his remembrances were halted by the arrival another figure and at that sight, a growl rumbled in the hanyou's throat as he recognized the human that at the Culture Festival had been foolhardy enough to draw his sword against him. And then he really became infuriated when the human had the gall to wrap his arm around his Kagome.
"Kuso, it's not enough that I gotta worry about that tick trap Kouga always chasing after her now I have to deal with that puny bastard from her school too! How dare he touch her like that, I'll slice him to shreds!" His thumb slipped beneath the hilt of the great fang and then he recalled Kagome's last words to him once more. . . .
"Onegai Inu-Yasha, this time don't follow me. I need this time during my birthday to think things through without pressure from you. So understand onegai?"
"Arrgh," Inu-Yasha growled softly in abject frustration as he released the Tetsusaiga and wisely decided that since he was not supposed to be here anyway to maintain a low profile was the best course to take. Where the condition of his and Kagome's volatile relationship was concerned at this time, the boat was already in choppy water so he saw no sense in rocking it further and run the risk of capsizing it. So he uncharacteristically remained quiet and hidden as he inwardly seethed. . . .
Below, Kagome was watching the stars as one by one they came out against the deepening indigo sky and a rustling in the goshinboku caught her attention as she caught a fleeting glimpse of scarlet making her heart jump. Inu-Yasha? Is that him, I told him not to follow me but he never listens to me so maybe he is here. Filled with hope she started toward the tree to investigate her assumption but was interrupted again when an arm wrapped around her shoulders. Startled, she glanced up into the fond gaze of Houjo.
He smiled at her and said, "It's such a nice night, eh Higurashi?'
She returned the smile and replied, "Uh-huh. It sure is."
He sighed as he continued, "I hope you like what I gave you for your birthday."
"Uh-huh." Kagome fingered the dewdrop crystal on a gold chain nervously thinking the gift too extravagant to give to a girl he was not even dating yet. "This crystal necklace is kirei, arigatou."
Houjo beamed at her as he stated, "My mother suggested that. She says the dewdrop crystal has special healing powers and should help you stay healthy so you can stay in school. Now that we're starting high school it's important for you to not miss too many classes."
"H-hai." I must be mistaken. But why do I sense he's here? I can feel his presence.
Houjo frowned as he noted the faraway look in Kagome's eyes. He chuckled as he asked, "Higurashi, you look like you're a million miles away."
Or at least five hundred years quipped Kagome mentally as she tittered nervously. "Oh I'm sorry, Houjo-kun. I was just admiring the night sky, it's so pretty tonight."
His gaze became warm and ardent, "Hai it is. And so are you."
Houjo grasped Kagome by the shoulders and leaned close, his lips on a collision course for hers. Kagome became flustered as she felt trapped as she saw the kiss was unavoidable. She closed her chocolate orbs and braced her hands against his chest and pushed but as the young man drew closer she was sure she heard something mixed with the rustle of the leaves in the evening breeze…
"Grrrrrrr!"
That's it, there's no mistaking it, that's Inu-Yasha. I'd know his growl anywhere, he's around here somewhere. I'd better get away or no telling what he'll do. With a surge of strength she pushed completely away and said hastily, "Houjo-kun, I'm getting a bit cool out here."
Appearing disappointed by the resistance he was encountering but determined nonetheless Houjo said, "Wait, I'll lend you my jacket." He made to doff the garment but she laid a restraining hand on his as she smiled and shook her head.
"Iie, don't bother. I really need to get back inside, after all like the song says, it's my party so c'mon, okay?" Kagome took his arm and pulled him over to the house, sliding open the door and with her hand on his back, pushed him into her house as she glanced over her shoulder at the goshinboku, silver in the moonlight. . .
Up in the tree during the almost embrace, Inu-Yasha was crouched and ready to spring, his face screwed into a fierce snarl and he had his claws bared and ready as he said to himself Kuso, that scrawny, puny human, how dare he try to kiss her! I'll tear him limb from limb! A low but deep growl issued from him as he felt his restraint slip away. But just as he was about to descend upon the interloper, he saw Kagome push away from him and drag the baka to the house.
Inu-Yasha grunted as he said, "Humph! That idiot human doesn't know how fortunate he is because if he had been fool enough and kissed her, I'd have killed 'im." He sat back down on the branch and leaned against the trunk, studying the door as the faint sound of dance music at the party echoed in the night. . . .
Several hours later it was near midnight and Kagome was at her door saying good night to her three dear friends and wannabe beau as they all were leaving, wishing her well.
Ayumi smiled and waved as she held Daisuke's hand. "Oyasuminasai, Kagome-chan. We had a lot of fun."
"Hai." Yuka and Eri echoed, both with dates as they turned and headed for the stairs.
The only one hesitating was Houjo, who was standing at the door, insisting on staying to help with the clean up as she was trying to get him to leave.
"A-arigatou Houjo-kun for everything," Kagome said as she pushed him out. But he resisted her actions and began to protest.
"But Higurashi, I can stay and help you clean---," but he was cut off by Kagome's cheery reply.
"That's okay Houjo-kun. But Mama and I have it all under control so Oyasuminasai, bai-bai." And she slid the door closed and leaned on it, heaving a sigh of relief.
"Whew, that Houjo-kun sure is persistent," she said aloud as she headed back to the kitchen and over to the sink where her mother was washing dishes. She picked up a towel and resumed drying as her mother washed.
Mrs. Higurashi commented mildly, "He certainly cares for you, Kagome-chan. And he's very strong willed."
She sighed, "I know, Mama. But it's just not the same for me. Even at the party, all I could think about was Inu-Yasha and what he was doing. Oh I wish he were---, She was unable to finish her thought because her mother spoke to another party, one who just entered the room. She glanced up.
"Huh?"
"Oh hello Inu-Yasha-kun," Mrs. Higurashi warmly greeted the tall silver haired hanyou, who strolled into the kitchen with an unreadable expression on his even features.
He grunted and nodded as he cast his golden orbs toward Kagome, who had quickly turned back and became intent in her task, drying a dish vigorously, avoiding his intent gaze.
"Forgive me," he said gruffly. "But I need to speak to Kagome, alone, if I can?"
Kagome's eyes flew open wide at Inu-Yasha's words, having seldom heard the arrogant inu show such courtesy. Her mother nodded as she handed her the last dish.
"Of course," Mrs. Higurashi replied as she headed to the door out. She turned and wished her daughter and the hanyou a final word in parting.
"Oyasuminasai, both of you. And don't stay up too late." The older woman left the duo in the kitchen as she went to turn in.
Kagome said nothing as she continued drying dishes and Inu-Yasha stood there with his arms crossed, just staring at the girl and thinking With her hair tied back like that and the red dress and white top she looks just like Kikyo. I have to admit she is a beauty and nobody has a sweeter scent He began slowly, "Kagome, I---,"
But she cut him off in a soft voice, "I asked you not to follow me. Why are you here?"
Inu-Yasha blushed deeply and stammered, "I-I mean, the others were worried about you and because I'm the only one that can come through the well, I came to see if you were okay."
Kagome turned and answered, "I'm fine, just another year older."
He asked, "Why didn't you tell us? We would've celebrated your day of birth with you."
She sighed as she replied, "I needed some time away to make some decisions." She turned away as she added, "I passed the entrance exams to high school." She glanced up as if to expect a reaction of sorts but instead received a blank stare. She sighed again before she went on.
"High school starts in a month and the classes are harder, to prepare me for college," Kagome went on as she continued to put the good china from the party away.
The hanyou, never the patient type said irritably, "And this is important for what reason?"
Kagome said, annoyed, "For my future. For the rest of my life and what I plan to do with it."
"Baka, what else is there? To find the final shard and defeat the bastard Naraku," Inu-Yasha snapped. "Keh, what else is there for you to do?"
"I see." Kagome opened another cupboard to store the last of the newly clean china. Her head down, she said in a sad, reluctant voice, "It's just as well, I have something to tell you."
Inu-Yasha felt a cold finger of dread skitter down his spine as he said uneasily, "Aa?"
Kagome continued slowly, "As I explained, classes for high school start in about a month, thirty days and I've made a decision. Tomorrow, I will come back to the Sengoku-jidai with you to do what I can to help find the last shard of the Shikon No Tama and defeat Naraku."
Inu-Yasha visibly relaxed as relief flooded his being. But his reprieve was short lived as she finished her statement and the words made his heart drop like a stone.
"At the end of thirty days, whether or not the shard is found and Naraku defeated, I will return home…and stay here….for good."
Inu-Yasha blinked his eyes as he murmured, "Nani?"
"You heard me, Inu-Yasha." Kagome then stepped to the doorway and snapped off the light. "We'd better get some sleep so we can leave first thing in the morning." She then turned and headed upstairs to her bedroom leaving the hanyou stunned.
As her words reverberated in his head like a death knell, Inu-Yasha pondered the bleak future that now stretched out before him, a future without the one person in his whole life that made him believe his miserable existence had meaning. And now, he had to face the stark, cold reality that he would lose her…forever.
He sat in the kitchen of the Higurashi house, just staring into nothing for a long time.
END
TO BE CONTINUED IN "DARKEST HOUR"