Inuyasha approached the pile of rubbish where his house once stood walking slowly, heavily, for though he was determined not to show it, he could not help but feel sentiment for this place from which his earliest memories had come. As far as he could remember, the house had been nothing particularly special when it flourished. It was simple and plain, and partially hidden by the tall old trees that surrounded. Nevertheless, it had been a place he once called home and more importantly, what had prompted him to return was that it had been his home before the death of his mother.
"She lived here with me before she left me and went down with this old building," he muttered to himself unconsciously.
He stopped where the door presumably would have been and took a long breath, standing and staring blankly at the mess before him. Finally he began to trudge wordlessly through the debris, allowing his eyes to search for anything that might have survived anything familiar. He had not told the others of where he was going so as to remain alone and was in effect rewarded with the freedom to take in everything uninterrupted. Within the hour he remained relatively unsuccessful, with the exception of a very charred cello he found unplayable in its condition.
"Mother always loved music, she thought she could heal my spirit if I played an instrument," Inuyasha looked back, remembering on the whole hating the cello, and yet a deep place in his heart believed that perhaps it had been rather calming as his mother promised, "Perhaps she had been right."
He had also found a beautiful hairpiece that he recognized as his mother's favorite, remembering her telling him often the story of how his father had given it to her as a symbol of his love. He shuddered.
"Hadn't she been wearing this when she died, I cannot remember."
With a mixture of grief and fatigue, Inuyasha settled upon a plank at the center of the small plot of land, gazing into the overcast scene all around, a gust of wind sending his long silver hair flying. He put off the distinct impression of a man not sure of what to do next, though in his mind he simply knew something that was missing, something that he had not yet found. He looked towards his feet but stopped as his keen eyes caught a flash of color amongst a nearby pile of soot covered rubble. He reached out to tug at the fabric, pulling out a small doll, and realizing he had found what he was looking for.
The doll was very miniature, no larger than a small hand, and was not particularly interesting. It was a hand stitched figure of a girl wearing a dress cut from the same cloth of what Inuyasha identified as one of his mother's favorite dresses, but it held little more in the way of detail. Yet, simplistic as it undoubtedly was, it was also rather charming as any who possessed the doll received the immediate impression that it had been stitched with great love by a mother for her beloved child. Still more, Inuyasha understood a deeper significance as with it came his last memory of his mother. It was for this reason he had sought after the little object that he examined slowly in his palm. He fell into a very vivid memory that he had remembered many years, almost as if he were reliving it again and again. He was a very young boy, too young to understand the world around him. His only friend was his mother, for his Hanyou appearance caused separation from his peers. Yet, as she struggled for herself and her son to earn their living, he often found need for ways to amuse himself. Inuyasha had noticed lately that she had grown drastically thinner and weaker with fatigue, finally advancing to a sickness that lingered for a dangerously long time. When finally she found herself too weak to work, she remained in bed and began the project of sewing this doll. On the day Inuyasha remembered so well, the day she finished, he remembered her calling for him to join her side. He did as he was told, dropping the ball he bounced quietly against the wall and sitting at the edge of his mother's bed obediently.
She opened her arms, "no my son, come here, real close to me," and she pulled him into her arms, stroking his hair and sensitive ears.
"Now it is very important that you listen carefully to all that I tell you to do, do you understand?" Inuyasha nodded and she continued.
"I do not believe that you will understand just now what is happening, but our home is in grave danger because of a war that is very nearby our town. I, Inuyasha, have been sick for a long time, and I do not believe that it is fair to keep from you any longer that…," she lingered, "should my worries come true, I am doubtful that I could," she gave a sorrowful shudder, "I could leave and escape with you."
Inuyasha was too young to understand the significance of his mother's words and only cocked his head, grabbing tighter to her middle as she began to cry. His mother quickly gained control for her son and continued.
"So it is very important that you do as I tell you do you understand?" Not daring to argue with her Inuyasha nodded silently. She pulled out the doll and placed it in his hands.
"You must always keep this doll with you Inuyasha, especially if we are separated, don't let anyone take it from you, do you understand? Maybe today it won't make any sense, but someday it will be important that you do as I tell you. Promise me Inuyasha, it's all I ask of you."
Inuyasha gazed at the doll, seemingly to have finally grasped that something was seriously wrong.
"But Mom, why are you talking like this, where are you going, you can't leave me here, you're the only one that understands me. Mom no…," his voice trailed off pathetically. She reached out grasping his shoulder gently, "Inuyasha, just promise me you'll do as I say." Inuyasha looked away. "But Mom-," she silenced him.
"Listen, if there is one piece of wisdom that I must convince you of, it is that no matter what anybody says it's not what's outside that counts, but what is on the inside that really matters. There are those, youkai and human alike, that will tell you that you fit in nowhere, but you have to be strong, Inuyasha, and know that you are just as worthy as the greatest of either race, as long as you remain pure at heart and believe in yourself." Inuyasha held tighter, "I understand, Mother, I love you." Inuyasha's mother began to stroke her son's long silver hair again, "I love you too my son, I'll love you forever."
Inuyasha did not move an inch for the following hour against his mother's comforting warm body, and soon fell fast asleep. Moments later he awoke immediately to the smell of smoke and the shouts of angry men nearby…,"
Inuyasha closed his eyes; the memory that followed was a blur. He had turned to his mother, she was no longer breathing. He had run to find help, nobody listened, He had come back to find his house destroyed, he was a young boy, and he ran far away, as far away as he could. He did not do as his mother had asked; he had not taken the doll with him. Inuyasha winced in pain. Looking back, he realized he had no right to have been angry with his Mother for leaving him in such a cruel world for he had not followed a single bit of what she had advised. He had grown bitter and impatient with any he came across. He had allowed himself to be rattled by those who lashed with insults, and, he looked at the object in his hand, "I left this here where it could have been easily destroyed or stolen." Inuyasha suddenly arrived at an epiphany.
Where everything else of value had been devastated or otherwise looted, this little doll remained. Despite all that had occurred, the doll remained relatively unharmed. Inuyasha took a whiff,
"It even still smells as her," He looked at the doll closer, "but why is it so important? What is it about this single hand stitched doll that makes it so essential?"
A small split in the seam around the middle caught Inuyasha's eye.
His Mother's words echoed in his ears, "It's what's insider that really matters."
Inuyasha ran his finger gently over the split and felt a cold, smooth bump. He pulled gently revealing a gorgeous gold ring, fitted with stunning diamonds. He immediately recognized it as his Mother's wedding ring. A full grown man, Inuyasha chocked back the tears that brimmed threateningly along his rims as he pulled out a small piece of paper that had followed the ring. He read the letter, written in his mother's handwriting.
"My dear Inuyasha, you clever boy, you've found my last gift to you. While it is certain that I will not see you a grown man, I will at least see to it that you have a perfect ring to present your bride. It has been in the family for generations, so make sure you choose the most perfect woman you can find, one that will love you near as much as I have. I'll love you forever, your mother."
Inuyasha stood perfectly still refusing to move a muscle and still building confidence that he was really holding what he thought he was holding and reading what he thought he was reading. "Humans really are smarter than I've given them credit for."
His mother had saved a precious heirloom, nobody had wanted the useless doll, nobody knew what it was truly worth, and now the rightful owner was bearing the ring safe in his hands. Inuyasha fell to his knees and forgot his manly and insensitive air that he held for so many years.
"Mom I'm so sorry, I mean it, I'm sorry I got scared and didn't do as you told me, I'm sorry I was so mad at you. It was my fault, my stubbornness, oh Mom I was so young."
He shook his head in frustration, it was too painful. He fell out of his surroundings and into a sorrowful haze. For what seemed like an eternity he drifted in and out of reality, unable to snap out of his depression. At long last a voice called from what seemed like far away.
"Inuyasha, where are you, are you okay? Ow!" Inuyahsa turned abruptly to find Kagome struggling through the broken planks.
"She has found me," he thought to himself. For a second he prepared his usual rudeness that would surely send her away, but noticing the ring in his hand he stopped himself.
"Maybe I act like I don't give a damn about her, and yet, I don't mean it. She really cares about me, and maybe she gets on my nerves, but deep down I know she is simply worried on my behalf. In fact come to think of it, aside from my Mother and….," He shuddered for her wished to no longer think about her, "Kikyo, Kagome is one of the few in my life that truly has…," Inuyasha smiled gently, "loved me." Out of breath Kagome reached Inuyasha and kneeled next to him.
"Inuyasha (huff) we were all (huff) so worried about you. Where are we?"
Inuyasha raised his head slowly and gazed all around, he responded dreamily, "We are standing in what's left of my home, every board here used to be my house before… my mother died."
From the first few times Kagome had visited feudal Japan she had known Inuyasha to be very sensitive when it came to his mother. She gasped at his comment.
"Oh I'm so sorry." Inuyasha closed his eyes and shook his head.
"Nah, don't worry, I'm okay, I've only come back to look for a few things, I'm fine really."
Somewhat convinced Kagome looked around and noticed the hairpiece.
"How pretty, was this hers?" Inuyasha nodded.
"Yeah you can have it if you want." Kagome fixed it delicately into her beautiful hair.
"No, it wouldn't be right. I just want to try it on. I only wish I had a mirror." Inuyasha smiled.
"You look great; I mean anyone would with my mother's hairpiece, wait, oh, that's not what I meant." He decided against his cover up, but Kagome had not seemed to have heard as she picked up the doll he had slid the ring back into.
"That was mine." Inuyasha spoke quietly. Kagome examined it carefully.
"Oh a doll, did she make this for you." Inuyasha nodded once again.
"Yes Kagome, but you must understand that this small doll is much more than it appears."
Kagome shook her head. "No I don't understand, what do you mean?" Inuyasha appeared not have heard her and he continued.
"Listen, if I tell you something, you have to promise me you aren't gonna get all girly and sentimental on me, do you understand?" Kagome nodded and Inuyasha continued seeming as if he were very embarrassed. "Well, um, I know I don't act it sometimes but, well, I, you should really just know that I think you're better than I might let on, do you understand?" Kagome nodded raising an eyebrow. He made wide gestures with his arms unconsciously. "And you smell very nice, I mean, erm, I like you, and even though I'm always gonna be the same wretch of a man you know me to be, and even though I hurt you sometimes, I want you to know that in the end…," He brought his arms in dramatically, "I honestly try to do what's best for you."
Kagome smiled as signs of blush appeared in Inuyasha's cheeks, he continued awkwardly.
"Look, would it be such a bad thing if I, you know, I…," Inuyasha stuttered, this was harder than he thought it would be. Inuyasha couldn't control him self.
"Do you trust me Kagome, do you love me?" Kagome blinked at the unexpected question.
"Uh, sorry this is such a shock. Well, yeah, I guess I do, but why do you ask so suddenly, I'm not following you here." Her eye's widened, "Does this mean that you, Inuyasha do you-," "Yes I do." Inuyasha quickly interrupted. Kagome beamed.
"Oh Inuyasha, do you mean it, do you really love me." Inuyasha gave a shiver.
"Now Kagome, you remember our promise, I'm not good and handling this stuff."
She settled a little, "yeah, I know it's hard for you Inuyasha, I'm very proud of you, you actually expressed your feelings." She began to cry. Inuyasha groaned, "Oh Kagome, please don't make this any harder on me, here, let's get out of this mess."
She climbed his back and in one graceful leap they were out of the gloomy debris.
He placed the doll in her hands.
"Just hold this for now okay, you'll understand in a short time I promise." Kagome nodded and they walked off together side by side along the road that led back to the others. Upon reaching the end Inuyasha turned to meet her eyes grabbing her smooth hands. He dropped them only to let her run her finger down the seam. Gasping she took out the ring and began bounding up and down squealing in surprise. She threw herself into his arms and he enclosed her gently.
"Kagome, I do love you, I wish I had treated you better before. Do you understand?" Kagome looked up into his golden eyes.
"I know you mean it, of course I do. You know Inuyasha, you shouldn't be so hard on yourself, you're a good guy at heart. What's most important is that you try." Inuyasha smiled gently.
"You get me, you really do, don't you." Kagome gave a soft laugh, "Well, I think I might."
He kissed her softly, "We'd better get back, or others will worry about us."
She settled into her arms, "Um hm." Together they walked back arms draped over one another.
Inuyasha looked towards the stars that came with the night. "Thank you Mom, for everything."