Kaito and the Beanstalk
by Icka! M. Chif
"Once upon at time, as all fairey tales either good or bad must start, there lived a boy named Kaito and his Mother. They lived in the countryside on a farm, not exactly dirt poor, but not very well off either.
Once day, Kaito's mom asked him to sell their only cow, as it was past its expiration date and they could use the money. Being the kind and dutiful son that he was, he cheerfully took their cow and headed to the market, whistling a cheerful tune, for he was the jovial sort.
On his way to the market, he ran across the Beautiful Dark Sorceress Akako, who was looking for some fresh meat for dinner. Not some sacrifice for some strange and bizarre ritual of hers, and the storyteller is not just saying that because he doesn't want to get turned into a koala again.
So the Beautiful Dark Sorceress offered Kaito a deal, some magic beans that would make him rich in exchange for the cow, or else getting zapped by the strange twisty staff thingie she was holding. Being a smart boy, he quickly agreed. Exchange thus agreed upon, they traded and headed back off in their separate directions.
Kaito wasn't sure about the beans, so instead of showing them to his mother, he tossed them in one of the family fields and promptly forgot about it.
For all of about 10 seconds.
Which was when a giant beanstalk suddenly erupted out of the ground, one of its tendrils grabbing him and carrying him up into the sky as it grew faster than a hawk can dive. Up, up, up and away it grew some more, until it reached the clouds, bearing him with it.
And then it stopped.
Kaito blinked. Well, that had been un-expected.
Untangling himself from the green vine that had wrapped it's way around him, he reviewed his choices. One: crawl back down and attempted to explain to his Mom why a giant beanstalk had just sprouted out of their backyard. Two: Go explore the funny looking castle built on the clouds that he was currently dangling above.
No decision necessary there. The vine he was wrapped up in suddenly released him, dropping him onto the clouds, causing him to bounce on the cushiony surface. After getting over a brief mental panic that the clouds were going to drop him at any time, he began to bound his way across the fluffy white landscape with madcap glee, the soft clouds having the consistency of puffy marshmallows and twice as bouncy. He was half tempted to try eating one, but of other people had been walking there too, that was just kind of 'ew'....
By and by he came to the large castle that he had spotted from the beanstalk and was surprised by the sheer enormity of it. Compared to whom ever lived there, he was the size of a mouse!
Bonus for him. Made it easier to sneak into the castle.
'Kaito creep, Kaito creep, Kaito creep...' the words echoed in his head as he snuck around the castle, avoiding the dust bunnies in the corners that threatened to overwhelm him whenever he got near. They had the upper hand here and they knew it, so he decided discretion was the better part of valour and left them the heck alone.
He crept along until he was drawn to the sound of a voice. It was sweet and mellow, soothing to the ear, much like a babbling stream of musical water. Curious, he followed it into another room.
Now everyone has heard of the Magic Singing Harp, right? Well, this wasn't it. Oh, she was definitely female, and a harp, but she certainly wasn't singing.
She was cursing. Like a sailor. Up one side and back down the other, leaving scorch marks in the wake. After all, if you had your back stuck to a stiff metal harp, wouldn't you be cursing too? That's got to be unpleasant after a while.
Grinning broadly, Kaito scampered up onto the table that she was resting and introduced himself. Then promptly ducked as she attempted to deck him. Not that he could blame her; it is awfully impolite to appear out of nowhere uninvited like that.
Once the threat of flying limbs had abated, he and the Magic Cursing Harp, whose name was Aoko, started talking and traded tales. Turns out that she had been born the daughter of an Inspector, and had been cursed into a magical harp by a sorcerer who had taken offense to being caught breaking the law. The owner of the castle, a giant named Saguru, had been keeping her ever since, seeing as it was rather hard to get around as a life size harp. The giant was actually a pretty nice guy, even if he acted as if someone had added a bit too much starch to his underpants.
After a bit of talking, Kaito offered to break the spell holding Aoko to the harp in exchange for helping talk him out of trouble with his mother, since Aoko would not only be a witness, but female as well and more likely for his mother to believe. And since he was the son of a Magician as well, he figured it wouldn't be too hard to do. That and the little sign on the back of the harp that read 'press button to break curse'.
He couldn't really blame Saguru for not noticing it either. It was hard for even someone of his size to spot, unless they were trying to figure out how to flip her skirt. Not that he had been attempting to figure out how to flip the harp-girl's skirt, nah-uh, not him, nope, no way.
Button pressed and Aoko freed, they explored the castle, stumbling upon two treasures. After all, the Beautiful Dark Sorceress had said that the beans had made him rich, and the more evidence he brought back, the less trouble he was likely to get into with his Mom, who could think up some really interesting punishments to torture him with when he misbehaved. Not that he misbehaved often or anything...
They had discovered the giant's pocket watch, which Aoko informed him that Hakuba was highly fond of, and a goose their size that laid golden eggs. Kaito looked between the two for a moment before rapidly reaching a decision.
To take the pocket watch.
Aoko, being the practical girl that she was, looked between the pocket watch and the Goose that Laid the Golden Eggs, then back at Kaito in puzzlement. It made more sense to grab the Goose, for not only was it smaller and easier to hold, but would continue to supply them with money for as long as the Goose lived. The watch on the other hand was large, bulky and would be rather hard to transport, much less sell.
Kaito agreed with her logic when she pointed this out, but shrugged gamely and grinned. Taking the pocket watch would be a better prank.
She paused, and then went to help him with the pocket watch. It was hard to argue with logic like that.
The pocket watch was nearly their size, but using the profound strength that all storybook characters have, they picked it up and quickly scurried out of the giant's castle, heading for the beanstalk.
They had just reached the large green tentacle-like plant when the ground began to shake beneath them and a battle cry rang out, nearly deafening their ears. Not ''Fe, fa, fi-fo-fum' or any rhyming nonsense like that, but a battle cry of "Naze konna koto o!!!" Hakuba, the giant had discovered both the pocket watch and the harp missing. Needless to say, he wasn't happy.
Anyone with the smallest shred of self-preservation would have recognised the danger sign and run for it. Fortunately for our two small heroes, they had more then a shred of self-preservation and practically flew the remaining distance to the plant, the blond giant hot on their heels.
Quickly realising that climbing down with the watch was near impossible; they literally stumbled upon a different plan. Use the watch as a sled.
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!! Down the vines they went, blithely ignoring the birds they startled on the way down. Hakuba followed them, sliding down the vine like it was a fireman pole. Twigs and branches and seedpods followed him down, scattering on the ground below. He was fast, but fortunately, Kaito and Aoko's head start held, and they reached the bottom of the beanstalk first and scrambled towards the relative safety of his house.
Hakuba followed, shouting at them all the way. But as he chased them, a strange thing happened. He looked huge in the distance, then appeared to get smaller and smaller until by the time he caught up to them in front of the Kuroba house, he was their size.
Which caused much pausing and staring between the three of them until both Kaito and Aoko burst in to laughter, dropping the watch on the ground as they doubled over in laughter. Hakuba on the other hand, just continued to stare, not quite sure what to make of it.
The sound of their laughter brought Kaito's Mom to the door, where she promptly tripped over a pea pod that was longer than she was tall. She blinked and looked around, noticing the humongous pea pods and leaves that lay scattered around the property, then at the laughing teenagers and hatched upon a plan to earn some money.
Several weeks later, after the pocket watch was installed on the second story above the door to their humble house to act as a clock for people miles around, the doors opened up to Mama Kuroba's Giant Split Pea Soup Factory. The giant peas dried out very well, and Kaito's Mom really did make good split pea soup. The beanstalk, though slightly shorter than when he had first travelled up it, remained green and growing, thus supplying them with a never ending supply of giant peas.
People came from miles around for the soup and to see the giant beanstalk, and Kaito, his Mom, Aoko and Hakuba all profited from it. In thanks, Akako the Sorceress was given all the pea soup she could eat whenever she stopped by and they all lived happily ever after.
The end."
Hakuba raised an eyebrow as Kaito finished his tale. "You." He proclaimed "Are becoming weirder every day, you know that?"
The magician just laughed.
-fin-
"Naze konna koto o...." = "Why did you....?"
Many many thanks to Ann for that. ((GLOMPS!))
by Icka! M. Chif
"Once upon at time, as all fairey tales either good or bad must start, there lived a boy named Kaito and his Mother. They lived in the countryside on a farm, not exactly dirt poor, but not very well off either.
Once day, Kaito's mom asked him to sell their only cow, as it was past its expiration date and they could use the money. Being the kind and dutiful son that he was, he cheerfully took their cow and headed to the market, whistling a cheerful tune, for he was the jovial sort.
On his way to the market, he ran across the Beautiful Dark Sorceress Akako, who was looking for some fresh meat for dinner. Not some sacrifice for some strange and bizarre ritual of hers, and the storyteller is not just saying that because he doesn't want to get turned into a koala again.
So the Beautiful Dark Sorceress offered Kaito a deal, some magic beans that would make him rich in exchange for the cow, or else getting zapped by the strange twisty staff thingie she was holding. Being a smart boy, he quickly agreed. Exchange thus agreed upon, they traded and headed back off in their separate directions.
Kaito wasn't sure about the beans, so instead of showing them to his mother, he tossed them in one of the family fields and promptly forgot about it.
For all of about 10 seconds.
Which was when a giant beanstalk suddenly erupted out of the ground, one of its tendrils grabbing him and carrying him up into the sky as it grew faster than a hawk can dive. Up, up, up and away it grew some more, until it reached the clouds, bearing him with it.
And then it stopped.
Kaito blinked. Well, that had been un-expected.
Untangling himself from the green vine that had wrapped it's way around him, he reviewed his choices. One: crawl back down and attempted to explain to his Mom why a giant beanstalk had just sprouted out of their backyard. Two: Go explore the funny looking castle built on the clouds that he was currently dangling above.
No decision necessary there. The vine he was wrapped up in suddenly released him, dropping him onto the clouds, causing him to bounce on the cushiony surface. After getting over a brief mental panic that the clouds were going to drop him at any time, he began to bound his way across the fluffy white landscape with madcap glee, the soft clouds having the consistency of puffy marshmallows and twice as bouncy. He was half tempted to try eating one, but of other people had been walking there too, that was just kind of 'ew'....
By and by he came to the large castle that he had spotted from the beanstalk and was surprised by the sheer enormity of it. Compared to whom ever lived there, he was the size of a mouse!
Bonus for him. Made it easier to sneak into the castle.
'Kaito creep, Kaito creep, Kaito creep...' the words echoed in his head as he snuck around the castle, avoiding the dust bunnies in the corners that threatened to overwhelm him whenever he got near. They had the upper hand here and they knew it, so he decided discretion was the better part of valour and left them the heck alone.
He crept along until he was drawn to the sound of a voice. It was sweet and mellow, soothing to the ear, much like a babbling stream of musical water. Curious, he followed it into another room.
Now everyone has heard of the Magic Singing Harp, right? Well, this wasn't it. Oh, she was definitely female, and a harp, but she certainly wasn't singing.
She was cursing. Like a sailor. Up one side and back down the other, leaving scorch marks in the wake. After all, if you had your back stuck to a stiff metal harp, wouldn't you be cursing too? That's got to be unpleasant after a while.
Grinning broadly, Kaito scampered up onto the table that she was resting and introduced himself. Then promptly ducked as she attempted to deck him. Not that he could blame her; it is awfully impolite to appear out of nowhere uninvited like that.
Once the threat of flying limbs had abated, he and the Magic Cursing Harp, whose name was Aoko, started talking and traded tales. Turns out that she had been born the daughter of an Inspector, and had been cursed into a magical harp by a sorcerer who had taken offense to being caught breaking the law. The owner of the castle, a giant named Saguru, had been keeping her ever since, seeing as it was rather hard to get around as a life size harp. The giant was actually a pretty nice guy, even if he acted as if someone had added a bit too much starch to his underpants.
After a bit of talking, Kaito offered to break the spell holding Aoko to the harp in exchange for helping talk him out of trouble with his mother, since Aoko would not only be a witness, but female as well and more likely for his mother to believe. And since he was the son of a Magician as well, he figured it wouldn't be too hard to do. That and the little sign on the back of the harp that read 'press button to break curse'.
He couldn't really blame Saguru for not noticing it either. It was hard for even someone of his size to spot, unless they were trying to figure out how to flip her skirt. Not that he had been attempting to figure out how to flip the harp-girl's skirt, nah-uh, not him, nope, no way.
Button pressed and Aoko freed, they explored the castle, stumbling upon two treasures. After all, the Beautiful Dark Sorceress had said that the beans had made him rich, and the more evidence he brought back, the less trouble he was likely to get into with his Mom, who could think up some really interesting punishments to torture him with when he misbehaved. Not that he misbehaved often or anything...
They had discovered the giant's pocket watch, which Aoko informed him that Hakuba was highly fond of, and a goose their size that laid golden eggs. Kaito looked between the two for a moment before rapidly reaching a decision.
To take the pocket watch.
Aoko, being the practical girl that she was, looked between the pocket watch and the Goose that Laid the Golden Eggs, then back at Kaito in puzzlement. It made more sense to grab the Goose, for not only was it smaller and easier to hold, but would continue to supply them with money for as long as the Goose lived. The watch on the other hand was large, bulky and would be rather hard to transport, much less sell.
Kaito agreed with her logic when she pointed this out, but shrugged gamely and grinned. Taking the pocket watch would be a better prank.
She paused, and then went to help him with the pocket watch. It was hard to argue with logic like that.
The pocket watch was nearly their size, but using the profound strength that all storybook characters have, they picked it up and quickly scurried out of the giant's castle, heading for the beanstalk.
They had just reached the large green tentacle-like plant when the ground began to shake beneath them and a battle cry rang out, nearly deafening their ears. Not ''Fe, fa, fi-fo-fum' or any rhyming nonsense like that, but a battle cry of "Naze konna koto o!!!" Hakuba, the giant had discovered both the pocket watch and the harp missing. Needless to say, he wasn't happy.
Anyone with the smallest shred of self-preservation would have recognised the danger sign and run for it. Fortunately for our two small heroes, they had more then a shred of self-preservation and practically flew the remaining distance to the plant, the blond giant hot on their heels.
Quickly realising that climbing down with the watch was near impossible; they literally stumbled upon a different plan. Use the watch as a sled.
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!! Down the vines they went, blithely ignoring the birds they startled on the way down. Hakuba followed them, sliding down the vine like it was a fireman pole. Twigs and branches and seedpods followed him down, scattering on the ground below. He was fast, but fortunately, Kaito and Aoko's head start held, and they reached the bottom of the beanstalk first and scrambled towards the relative safety of his house.
Hakuba followed, shouting at them all the way. But as he chased them, a strange thing happened. He looked huge in the distance, then appeared to get smaller and smaller until by the time he caught up to them in front of the Kuroba house, he was their size.
Which caused much pausing and staring between the three of them until both Kaito and Aoko burst in to laughter, dropping the watch on the ground as they doubled over in laughter. Hakuba on the other hand, just continued to stare, not quite sure what to make of it.
The sound of their laughter brought Kaito's Mom to the door, where she promptly tripped over a pea pod that was longer than she was tall. She blinked and looked around, noticing the humongous pea pods and leaves that lay scattered around the property, then at the laughing teenagers and hatched upon a plan to earn some money.
Several weeks later, after the pocket watch was installed on the second story above the door to their humble house to act as a clock for people miles around, the doors opened up to Mama Kuroba's Giant Split Pea Soup Factory. The giant peas dried out very well, and Kaito's Mom really did make good split pea soup. The beanstalk, though slightly shorter than when he had first travelled up it, remained green and growing, thus supplying them with a never ending supply of giant peas.
People came from miles around for the soup and to see the giant beanstalk, and Kaito, his Mom, Aoko and Hakuba all profited from it. In thanks, Akako the Sorceress was given all the pea soup she could eat whenever she stopped by and they all lived happily ever after.
The end."
Hakuba raised an eyebrow as Kaito finished his tale. "You." He proclaimed "Are becoming weirder every day, you know that?"
The magician just laughed.
-fin-
"Naze konna koto o...." = "Why did you....?"
Many many thanks to Ann for that. ((GLOMPS!))