Trigon goes to the Grocery Store
One bright and happy day on beautiful Earth, TRIGON THE TERRIBLE was persuaded to go to the grocery store for his wife. Of course, said woman's Frying Pan of Doom had nothing to do with it. Nothing at all. Riiiiiiiight.
In any case, Trigon was sent with a list that included eggs, sugar, flour, and the most important item which was smushed into an easily forgettable corner of the list: chocolate chips. For, you see, Trigon's wife was making a cake for her dear, sweet, loveable, can-do-no-wrong Raven's birthday.
Trigon was told, in no uncertain terms, that if he tried to turn dear, sweet, loveable, can-do-no-wrong Raven into the nasty, no-good, absolutely horrible, utterly deplorable Portal, he would be unconscious for an undetermined time period by the Frying Pan of Doom. Outside sources coughRavencough informed anyone who would listen that TRIGON THE TERRIBLE cowered into the fetal position and began whimpering in fear. Trigon has yet to live it down.
That, however, is not the point of this story. So Trigon went to the grocery store. He found the eggs, flour, and sugar, completely oblivious to the fact that his thumb had been covering the last item on the list the entire time. He proceeded to pay for the items he had picked up and walked out of the store into the warm sunlight.
Suddenly taken over by a fit of happiness, the demon who ruled all other demons whistled a tune and materialized back home. Trigon appeared in the kitchen of his home and told his wife that he came bearing all of the items she had asked for. His wife took him at his word, and he went off while she began making the birthday cake for her dear, sweet, loving, can-do-no-wrong Raven.
When she got to the point in the recipe that called for the chocolate chips, she realized that Trigon had missed THE MOST IMPORTANT INGREDIENT! With a scream of rage, she picked up her Frying Pan of Doom, smacked Trigon over the head with it, and told him to get the last ingredient- QUICKLY!
When Trigon materialized at the store, he looked for the chocolate chips and saw only one bag. Just as he was reaching for it, it was snatched up by...a green kitten! (DUMDUMDUM!) Now, you may be wondering why Trigon didn't just snatch it back. Well, it's a little-known fact that Trigon is deathly afraid of kittens. Rather like Imhotep from The Mummy. The kitten mewed, and Trigon curled into the fetal position and began to cry. The kitten mewed sadistically, if that's possible, and morphed into Beast Boy. Beast Boy, or Gar Logan, grinned and trotted off to give the chocolate chips to Trigon's wife. That accomplished, he would ask Raven to go out with him, hopefully with her mother's blessing.
After Gar left, Trigon was kicked out of the store on the grounds that he was disturbing the peace and driving away customers. Later that night, both Trigon and Gar were knocked out, Trigon by his wife's Frying Pan of Doom, and Gar by the wrath of a very angry Malchior for having the nerve of coming onto his Raven. With the presence of Malchior, Raven's cloak and leotard were pure, pristine white and her control was complete. Robin was then knocked out by Red X for being near a laughing Starfire. Raven was sure that it was her best birthday yet. Trigon most certainly did not agree.