Wizard Anger Management and Control

By: Lady Agatha Hal

Chapter Four

Rating: G

Story summary: Dumbledore and McGonagoll unite to send Snape and Black to Wizard Anger Management and Control classes. Light-hearted.

Chapter summary: Snape and Black are in their WAMC session. They are surprised by a new revelation.

All my readers – I am truly sorry for the violence on Sev. I love him as much as anyone. Forgive me, but for writing things must be sacrificed.

'Now, Snapie…' Roxie smiled, 'would you like to share why you have so many problems, hmm?'

'I will do nothing of the sort. Furthermore, I refuseto do anything without my previous attire,' Snape replied, throwing Roxie his Venom Glare.

She deliberately ignored it, 'I see. Well then, you'll just have to sit and listen to Star here. Oh, no – don't think I'm letting you get dressed, my dear. You're staying as you are. I'd stop squirming if I were you,' she giggled, 'you wouldn't want to wriggle yourself out of your underwear.'

'Hilarious.'

'It is, rather,' Black injected, enjoying himself. Had he known Snape would get such a through thrashing, he wouldn't've objected so very much when the idea was presented.

'My little Star, you shouldn't make so much fun of Snapie. He's a dearie at heart, he has to be. He came here through free will, did he not?'

'Yes, Auntie, he did,' he emphasized the 'Auntie', 'did you want to ask me anything?'

'Yes, sweetheart. I was just going to ask you, why do you think Snape has such problems?'

'Oh, this is too amusing. He's always been a spoilt child – you know the Snapes, Auntie, lavishly spending on completely irrelevant and useless things. He was then cut off from his inheritance for a little while… for some things he did, and I think that turned him sour,' Black replied, smirking at a furious Snape.

'Oh, my Snapie Sev!' Roxie said, pouting and looking very sorry for Snape. 'Oh, come here and give me a hug.'

Snape choked on air at the prospect.

'Thank you, I am perfectly content here,' he said.

'Ever the gentlemen, eh, Sevvie Sev? However, my little darling, I did tell you to come and give me a hug and you will do so, won't you, dear?' Roxie's chubby face suddenly turned lethal, 'I'm not exactly used to not getting what I want. So you will do what I say.'

Snape (and Black, for that matter) looked taken aback with her sudden change off attitude. 'I am sorry,' he said, 'but I find it hard to accept that for a single memorable second that a hug – from me, no less – is something you would want.'

'Do you always push your emotional needs aside, Snapie?'

'I beg your pardon?'

'Oh, come now. You are human, are you not? In this workshop we will all show a little emotion, understood? After all, this is only part one.'

'Come again?'

'Say what?'

Snape and Black mirrored each other's expressions.

'Oh, look, common ground already! I said, my dearies, that this is only part one of the session. You did know that, did you not?'

'Do we look like two people in the know?' Black demanded, 'I knew about WAMC classes before Dumbledore and McGonagall proposed such a ridiculous command, but even I knew just about the counselling session. What other part?'

'Other parts, my Star. There's the counselling – which we are doing now – the cloud trip… that might not be with me, but I love you two so much I might come along, the bondage and finally the party.'

'WHAT?!?' the two yelled simultaneously. Black was brought down to earth with quite a heavy bump. Suddenly the prospect of WAMC had completely lost its newfound appeal.

'Would you care to explain further?' Snape said, clenching his teeth.

'Yes, please do,' Black added, digging his fingernails into his flesh.

'Very well,' she eyed them both and smiled. She always loved a stubborn pair who hated each other, 'the counselling part is self-explanatory. The cloud trip is exactly what it sounds like – you two go away for a while together, on brooms. I take it you both fly well?'

She got a retrained nod from both.

'Good. So, you fly together for a while… I think in your case we'll make it four days to a week.'

'WHAT?'

'I BEG your pardon!'

'Right, then a week it is. No, shush, listen to me,' she silenced them with a spell, 'better. Now, the cloud trip, you two are going to spend a week revealing in each other's company. A witch or wizard from WAMC will be with you at times, but not always. This will teach you to depend on each other a tad. Understood?'

Furiously moving mouths making no noise.

'I take it the message has gotten across. If you two hate the cloud trip, I'd love to see what you'll do with the bondage part of the course. You will be bound to each other for three days, in your normal lives, by magical ties, and will not be able to separate. This way you'll have to find common ground. Clear?'

One didn't think it was possible to exert such venom into nods.

'Good, good. The party. Oooooh, that's the best bit. You organize a party together, inviting basically everyone you know to show that you've gotten over your petty hatred. That's always a blast.'

Narrowed eyes and droplets of blood oozing out of palms.

'But of course, Albus paid for two sessions, so it's all that multiplied by two!' Roxie grinned wickedly, 'oh, I can tell this is going to be a BALL!'

The line 'Do we look like two people in the know?' is stolen directly from a FRIENDS episode. I do not claim it as my own, but love the line and decided to sneak it in.

This chapter is dedicated mostly to saria almasy albatou kinneas who prodded me back to life after hibernation.

Almost the whole WAMC course sounds like a very good time for some slash. Be assured that it will not happen. My Snape and Black are straight, and they will remain so.

I am still looking for a beta reader. If anyone's interested, email me at . Thank you.

Hope you enjoyed the chapter. It was a bit tedious, for I am now enveloped by writer's block. Hopefully that won't affect my updates too much. Although it clearly already has.

I apologise for the length of my author's note and thank you for reading this far.

Until next time

Lady Agatha