Wizard Anger Management and Control

By: Lady Agatha Hal

Chapter Five

Rating: G

Story summary: Dumbledore and McGonagall unite to send Snape and Black to Wizard Anger Management and Control classes. Light-hearted.

Chapter summary: Snape and Black continue their WAMC, part one, session.

Miscellaneous note: I was reading something J K Rowling said, and I laughed. She was being asked some questioned, and it became apparent to her that the crowd rather liked Snape. So she was asking, "why does everyone like Snape? I do not get it." It was really quite amusing. She was also talking about the movie, and that how, when a girl watched it, she'd fall for Draco. And she's like, "girls, let me give you a hint that took me thirty-five years to work out. Go for the good guy. DON'T be attracted to the bad guy." And throughout almost the entire evening, it came up, and at one point she said it was "quite distressing." LOL!!

Also, when she visited a Harry Potter chat room and was giving her 'theories' about what was going to happen in the seventh book – which was the TRUTH – no one was interested and said she was 'nuts' so she was reduced to leaving the HP chatroom and joining Spongebob Squarepants! LMAO! If only the people she was talking to knew it was J K Rowling they were talking to… heh. I just find it incredibly amusing… now, on with WAMC.

'Now, my dears,' she said surveying them closely, 'I would really like to give you your power of speech back... this is a counselling session, after all. But if all I'm going to hear is arguments and threats – which, may I mention, will not work – I will simply make my own game up. For you, my dear Snapie, we shall play Dress Sev Up.'

Black forgot his fury for a minute and burst out in soundless laughter.

Snape glowered, holding his head high indignantly, and refusing to say anything that would result in his mouth moving and no speech.

'For you, my dear Star, we'll think of another game… or maybe the same one?' Black looked horrified now that the laughter had turned to him. At the look on Black's face, Snape managed to lower his anger by a notch. But just the one… 'So. Will you act like responsible adults, my dears?'

Snape bit on his lip so hard he was sure he could taste his salty blood. Black merely nodded. No speech was hardly worthwhile; he was constantly on the banter.

'Oh good, I can tell you two are going to be two of my favourites,' as Roxie smiled, her face softens and held the quality of a grandmother's wisdom and long age. She waved her wand and their voice boxes resumed their work.

'Favourites?' Snape spat, 'oh dear. I wonder what you do to those you don't like.' He pulled out his wand and conjured up some water, and took a deep gulp.

Roxie sat, smiling, waiting for what was going to come next. This bit was always fun…

3… another gulp,

2… still drinking…

1… glass's empty…

and…

'WHAT?' Snape said, and threw the glass down, 'wha… how… but… how did I just do that??' Not a lot of people had the liberty of hearing Professor Snape stutter… Black chuckled as he thought what Ron and Harry would say if they heard Snape stuttering. Ron's precise reaction would probably be something along the lines of now, why couldn't he do that while he was yelling at us, then?

'I was wondering when we'd come to that,' Roxie smiled.

'I'm rather interested myself, actually,' Black said, 'let me guess. These walls don't withhold magic… no that couldn't possibly be it, for how on earth would you do your spells? So, I'm getting it's a restraint magic lease. All spells uttered – or not, as the case may be – would go through either your mind or something you made, and anything that passes the test goes through and the spell is completed. Am I right?'

'You're more than just right, Star, you're wonderful!' Roxie beamed, 'yes, that's exactly it. It goes through the air, which has got magical particles I implanted, and then goes through me for the final go-ahead.'

'Oh so clever,' Snape muttered under his breath. Unfortunately, Roxie heard him and made his words echo louder around the room.

'Now, Severus,' Roxie said, completely seriously, 'why are you so jealous of Sirius?'

Jealous? Now that was new. Black cocked an interested eyebrow.

'Jealous? I beg your pardon, how on earth can anyone be jealous of that hairball?' Snape said, narrowing his eyes.

'You tell me, Sevvie, dear,' was all Roxie replied.

'I refuse to even believe, for one monotonous moment, that I would ever be jealous of any human individual, let alone Black.'

'Right, so, acceptance issues, too,' she murmured to a quill, which immediately sprang up, wrote down the note, and then dropped back down again, 'I picked up on that earlier, when you wouldn't give me a hug, Sev.'

'Oh, Merlin's beard,' was all Snape had to reply.

'Oh, my dear Snape, you are going quite downhill on your reputation front,' Black smirked.

'Star, don't antagonize Sevvie, please, I'm trying to read him… so,' she turned back to Snape, 'give me the hug I asked for, then.'

Snape didn't move. He didn't speak. He merely looked at Roxie. Not a look of loathing, or venom or anything of the sort. Just a curious look, like he'd finally realised that she wasn't going to give up.

Well, neither was he.

'I apologize. I stand my ground on the whole hugging prospect.'

Roxie's eyes started to attain a glitter of amusement, 'I see. You do realise, do you not, Professor Snape, that I have quite a few advantages? For instance, your magic is almost quite useless here. How does it feel to be reduced to something resembling a Squib, Professor?'

Snape looked her directly in the eye, his expression saying enough.

'I see. Don't underestimate me, young man, I wouldn't advise that. You'd be the loser in the end, believe me. Now, look at it this way, Severus,' she said, looking at him… one could almost swear Dumbledore's wisdom was glittering at him, 'you have a choice.'

'Finally.'

'I won't get too smart. Your choice is: you either come here and voluntarily give me a hug, or I can and will force you to hug Star.'

Snape's shocked expression could not possibly be bought. Black looked just as aghast.

'So, my dearest, what will it be?'

Well, I suppose that was a tad bit short… not as short as I could have made it, but short all the same. I hope it's relatively good, though… I don't know. Review and tell me, please. This is a filler, and yes, I could've just attached it to the next chapter. Problem is, however, that I haven't written the next chapter yet.

I want to thank my newly appointed beta, Black Padfoot, for going over this chapter, and reviewing the four previous ones.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed…

Oh, and sparkling silver angel wings: I'm afraid I cannot give you a picture of Severus in his underwear, regardless of how good a method of blackmail you think it might be.

Until next time,

Lady Agatha