A/N: Grr. My links to the sites I used for my definitions for the legal stuff didn't work last chapter. I'm putting them again, so they can't sue me or whatever: For my definition of manslaughter, I used dictionary. law. com and for my defense of others definition, I useden . wikipedia . org / wiki / defenseofothers.There. Ha!
Anyways, I really really really need someone to help me with the legal stuff, as I said before. I don't want to screw it up like I did with the pregnancy test thing (don't worry, I'm still kicking myself for that). If I can't find anyone at all to help me, I will have to kind of guess it as I go, and I'm saying now IT IS NOT MY FAULT IF I WRITE THE TRIAL WEIRDLY. I personally have never been tried for killing someone, so I don't know to do it. I have read maybe a few books with trials in them, but not murder trials. So please don't be very angry if I screw it up! (Actually, I would be angry because if anyone knew that I messed up, they would have known enough to help me!) So, if you know anything at all about murder or manslaughter trials, email me partytime509 . comcast. net. Thank you! Also, it seems like this is going to be quite a long story. I hope I don't have to make it like 30 chapters, but it will definatly be over twenty. Does anyone have a problem with that?
Marissa was at a family party. A very odd party, indeed. Who was there? Let's see… her parents were there together and Caleb was hanging out in the kitchen talking with Sandy and Kirsten. She caught a view in the mirror of Seth and Summer, looking about five years older, sitting on a couch and holding hands. Summer was wearing a huge diamond wedding ring on her finger, and Seth was rubbing her stomach. Summer was pregnant, she correctly guessed. She looked next to her and found Ryan playing with a little girl who looked about kindergarten or late preschool. She was almost a replica of Marissa, but she had hr father's eyes.
The little girl came up to Marissa and pouted.
"Mommy," she said," I'm bored. How come I don't have any cousins or aunts or uncles to play with?"
Marissa felt her throat tighten. "You have Uncle Seth and Aunt Summer," she managed to get out.
"But, like, a REAL aunt or uncle. Does Daddy have any brothers or sisters?"
As if on cue, everyone in the room turned to face her.
"You would have," Caleb told the girl.
"If it weren't for your mother," Julie informed her.
"What did she do?"
Sandy laughed. "What didn't she do, is the question."
"It's her fault. You see-" Seth began, but Summer cut him off.
"Let me tell. Before you were born,-"
"No, Summer, it's my responsibility to tell her. Sweetie-" Kirsten glared at Marissa, but was interrupted by Ryan.
"Let me tell." Ryan said. "I had a brother. His name was Trey. And your mother killed him."
"No," Marissa said, "It's not like that. I didn't mean to. I never-"
"Don't make excuses." Jimmy hissed. "You killed him. You don't have any regrets, about it, do you?"
"Why would she?" a low voice said, and for the first time Marissa noticed a person in the corner, in the shadow of a potted plant.
"Who said that?" She began to be frightened.
"Don't you know? How could you forget me so soon, Marissa?" the voice snarled.
"No, I don't know who you are! Who are you?" she screamed.
"It's me." He said, and Trey stepped out of shadows.
Everyone walked toward her, whispering her name. "Marissa, Marissa, Marissa," they chanted.
"No! No!" Marissa whimpered, backing away. "Stop it! Go away! I didn't do anything wrong!"
"Marissa." Ryan said. "Marissa, wake up. Wake up!"
She blinked and rubbed her eyes, to find herself tangled up in all her covers, with Ryan standing next to her, looking concerned.
"Ryan?" she said blearily, shaking her head and sitting up. "What's going on? Where did everyone go?"
"We're the only ones here," he said, looking slightly confused. "It's five o'clock in the morning. Are you okay?"
"Yeah, yeah," she muttered. "I'm fine. Why are you here?"
"Well, I couldn't sleep, so I went to go find some leftover bagels, and I found you crying in your sleep," he explained.
"At least I didn't punch you in the nose this time." She managed a weak smile.
"Yeah," he said. "So, are you going to tell me what you were having a nightmare about this time?"
"No," she said quietly.
"Marissa," he said, taking her hand, "We can't keep keeping secrets from each other. I know you're scared. So am I! But if we're going to be able to stay together through all of this, we can't keep secrets."
"I can't tell you."
"Why not?"
"Because," she said, blinking hard to stop tears from falling, "I promised myself that I wouldn't cry anymore."
Despite her efforts, a lone teardrop fell from her eyes, and she brusquely brushed it away.
"I'm sorry," was all that Ryan could say.
"For what? " she said, looking up at him. "Ryan, you haven't done anything at all. If I were you, I wouldn't have spoken to me at all after… that night."
She hadn't meant to remind them of it.
"You have nothing to apologize for," she finished, and another few tears slipped out.
"That's not true at all. It's my fault that you're pregnant, it's my fault that you had to kill Trey, and it's my fault that your mom kicked you out. And I'm sorry for all of it. I'm sorry for the pregnancy, I'm sorry for the killing, and I'm sorry for getting you kicked out."
More and more tears ran down Marissa's face.
"I'm sorry that I made you cry," he whispered, and she began to sob. He held her and they rocked back and forth, her tears soaking his shirt.
"I promised myself," she repeated, wiping her cheeks, "that I wouldn't cry anymore. I told myself that I had to be strong. If I couldn't even stop myself from crying, how am I supposed to raise a kid? I've got to be strong, and right now, I'm not. Things are only going to get worse, Ry. You know what's going to happen in three months? I'm going to go back to school. By Thanksgiving, I'm going to look like a blimp. Everyone at school is going to point, and whisper to their friends, 'Look, that's Marissa Cooper. She's pregnant!' I'm going to be an outcast." She stopped to consider something for a moment. "If I'm even in school. I could be in jail for Thanksgiving. Either way, my life is going to be hell. I used to be popular. I was the girl who kids looked up to, wanted to be like. Who would want to be like me now? Who wants to be a teenage pregnant murderer? I'm going to be alone."
"That's not true." Ryan handed her the tissue box.
"Yes, it is. I will have no friends."
"What about Summer? Or Seth?" he asked her. "Or me?"
"I guess," she said, blowing her nose. "Is it really five o'clock?"
"Well, now it's about 4:10. Want to go see what the Cohen's have in the fridge?"
She wiped away the last few tears and smiled. "Sure."
She stood up, and he took her hand. They walked, hand in hand, the kitchen, where they found Sandy sitting at the table, munching on a fresh bagel that had apparently been picked up from the store earlier.
"What are you doing up so early?" Ryan asked him, as he and Marissa sat down.
"I could ask you two the same question. What were you guys talking about in her room at this hour?"
"Nothing." Marissa said, as Ryan replied, "I was seeing if she wanted to come for breakfast."
"Alright," Sandy said, pushing the bagel bag towards the couple. "How about you tell me what you really were discussing?"
"You still haven't told us why you're up at five AM." Marissa expertly diverted.
"I have my reasons. You know I'm going to find out sooner or later whatever you guys were chattering about."
"I wouldn't call it chattering." Marissa said, passing Ryan the cream cheese.
"But you admit you were talking to him! What happened to 'Nothing?'" Sandy's lawyer training had kicked into full gear.
"Fine, if you must know, we were talking about what to get you for Father's Day," Marissa lied.
"See? I knew it. Nothing gets past Sandy Cohen," he said proudly, getting up to clear off his plate. "I've got to go to work. I'll be home later tonight, so you guys can order out some Chinese or something." He pushed in his chair.
"By the way, Marissa," he said nonchalantly, pulling something out of his briefcase. "I think you may have misplaced this," He dropped her pregnancy test on to the table, and left.
She stared at it, her mouth agape.
"Well," Ryan said, "that's one less person to tell."
"That's not exactly how I wanted him to find out."
"Do you think he told Kirsten?"Ryan wondered.
"It's been thee days. 72 hours. He's allowed to call her now. I bet you, first thing this morning, he was on the phone with her. "Hi, honey. What's new with you? Good. With us? Well, Marissa killed Trey, yup." Marissa answered
"then Ryan knocked her up, yes I know, two in two years, that must be a record, huh?" he finished for her. It had been a joke, but no one was laughing.
"What will she say?" Marissa sighed. "She's going to hate me. And Sandy, for taking me in."
"She'll understand."
Marissa scoffed. "Yeah, right."
Ryan raised and lowered an eyebrow. "Who knows? Maybe I'm wrong."
"Ryan, that's not helping." Marissa wasnot in the mood to kid around. "I told Summer that I'd go shoppingwith her this morning. I needto go change."
She hurried off to her room.
He sighed, and buried his head in his hands. Was this what the rest of his life was going to be like? Marissa, breaking down all the time, and avoiding touchy subjects? He loved her, but he did not want to spend the next sixty years consoling her every day. She was right. She needed to be strong. He couldn't take this much longer. Things were going to have to change. The depressed atmosphere around the house was getting to him. It was all too familiar.
Disclaimer (sorry, had to wait til the end or else I would have spoiled the chapter): I do NOT own the O.C., (wahh!), but I do own hmm, it would all new situations and plots that you see in this story, particularly in this chapter, such as Marissa's dream. Or anything else new that you see. The only exception to that, as usual, would be if, by some amazing twist of fate, Josh Schwartz and the O.C. team read my story, love it, and decide to use it on the show. That would be perfectly fine with me. More than fine. I think if that happened I might pass out, actually.