I have decided to update you on my owning or not owning Pirates of the Caribbean and/or anything connected with it. No. I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean and/or anything connected with it. There ye go. Sad but true. Very sad, really. It's the sort of thing I could get rather depressed about... But I shall soldier on. Enjoy my babbling.

Still marrying Norrington. This small fact was the only thing that kept Christina from feeling completely at ease with the strange pirate holding her arm as they walked the distance to the other, more notorious side of Port Royal. She was still marrying Norrington in fourteen hours, eleven minutes and, according to Jack's pocket watch, thirty-three seconds.

Unfortunately for Norrington and possibly herself, she had constantly had to remind herself of that small fact several times during the hour long walk. The odd pair of the lady and the pirate followed at a comfortable pace behind Will and Elizabeth.

As expected, Jack's mind was on a completely different track than Christina's, this one leading towards a bed someplace. As far as he could tell, he was making good progress. The woman smiled at his jokes and looked him in the eye when speaking. Plus, as of yet, an insult had not passed through either of their lips. Yes, he was making very good progress, he decided inwardly.

Soon, the four reached their destination of the east of Port Royal, full of brothels and bars and the types of people these places attracted. Christina stared in awe, having never seen this not so perfect face of her home town.

Taking note of the lowering standards of the individuals around them, Jack stopped and rubbed his hands together gleefully, "Aye, we've arrived. Who do ye have t'bed t'get a rum?"

His eyes widened at his words, realizing who he had been speaking to. He cursed himself a thousand times silently. Stupid, idiotic, foolish git. So much for good progress. He met Christina's inquisitive stare with a nervous crooked smile.

"What I meant to say was... where could a gentleman, such as meself, purchase a mug of rum?" he tried to redeem himself. Relief relaxed his features when an involuntary smile twitched at Christina's lips.

"Gentleman?"

Jack lowered his brows.

"Are ye insinuating that I am not one, m'lady?"

Christina lifted hers.

"Are you suggesting that such an insinuation would be undeserved?"

"Ah, got me there, luv."

Aha! Redeemed! Jack could not believe his stupidity in doubting his incredible ability to get himself out of any uncomfortable situation. He really could not blame others for finding it hard to believe that he was so incredibly, dazzlingly amazing when, sometimes, he found it hard to believe himself.

"How about Sally's Pub?" Will called out to them, already being pulled in that direction by a giggling Elizabeth.

"Come, luv," Jack agreed, suddenly and without leaving her a chance to respond, he skillfully snaked his arm around Christina's waist and pulled her close to him. Yes, indeed, this night was heading in the right direction.

Aye, if it did, he would be responsible for the Commodore's loss of two women instead of one, but, he was after all a pirate. His mind, at the moment residing in his trousers, was in the right place considering his occupation.

Christina, oblivious to all of this was simply too stunned to move from her position of being pressed against the pirate. From here she could smell his unique scent of salt, rum and sweat. With wide eyes, she stared at him silently, not sure of what was expected of her in such a situation.

"Now, Miss Lacimore, I shall escort you into the depths of Sally's Pub where a fair maiden such as yeself would surely feel out of place with good reason. But I swear to you on pain of death to protect ye from any of the terrible menaces we may find within... on one small condition," he added seductively.

Christina could only continue staring, questioning words forming on her lips but her throat unwilling to carry sound to them. What on earth had the world trembling so violently! Oh. She blushed. It was not in fact the world but her trembling.

Jack grinned at this. The Sparrow had not lost his irresistible charm, it was clear as day. Ladies swooned to his left and right where he walked. Oh, the burden one must carry. Someone had to do it.

"What small condition, ye ask? Ye must let me buy ye a rum."

"A- a rum?" Christina managed finally.

"Aye, a rum."

"...Seems fair enough."

Christina extended her hand as far as she could towards him while standing so uncomfortably close.

"Aye, indeed it seems," Jack agreed, meeting her hand with his own and shaking it firmly, "We have an accord."

As soon as Christina took one step inside Sally's, she was glad that the deal had been made. Even in her full length dress and with other women around who were dressed much less modestly, she still felt a little cheap as dozens of men turned their head to leer at her lustfully. Lowering her eyes to the floor as to avoid their lingering stares, she abruptly turned to leave. Running straight into Jack's chest.

"Goin' somewhere, luv?" he asked cheerily, already whirling her back around and guiding her through the crowd to the table at the back where Will and Elizabeth waited.

"Where's me ru-"

"We've already ordered you some rum, Jack," Will assured him.

"Oh good," Jack said as he sat down beside him and Christina beside Elizabeth.

After a good hour of small talk and alcohol consumption, Will and Elizabeth exited for a walk around the area. Christina had arched a brow at this but was too intoxicated to come up with any witty comments about it.

Jack had just opened his mouth to slur something very important when a stumbling drunk tripped over to their table, grinning stupidly at Christina. Or more so, her chest with which he was at eye level with from his position of leaning unsteadily on the table.

"'Ello there, b'tiful."

Distaste curled Christina's lip and resentment darkened Jack's features.

"How's 'bout ye let m'buy ye a drink?" the drunked continued his conversation to her chest.

"How's about ye go back t'whence ye came, mate," Jack growled. This fool was not going to ruin his chances for later that night.

The man scowled at being interrupted, turning in the general direction of Jack.

"Look 'ere, mate. This lass ain't got yer name stamped on 'er fore'ead. How's 'bout ye find another suitor?"

"Do ye really think it a clever move t'call the Captain Jack Sparrow of the Black Pearl mate, mate?"

A blank expression showed on the man's face as he racked his alcohol slowed brain for who that name belonged to. Jack smirked when the blank expression replaced itself with one of fear.

"My lord. So- sorry Cap'n Sparrow fer botherin' ye and ye lady. Have a... have a pleasant evening," the man stuttered as he cautiously backed away from the table and disappeared back into the unruly crowd.

Christina laughed at the smug smile on Jack's lips.

"What kind o'glory hound enjoys sending gent'men back t'their seats, quivering in their boots?" she mocked, frowning that her words did not form perfectly.

"What kind of a fool could not enjoy it, luv?" Jack grinned.

Christina frowned again.

"Liz promised me she would'n lemme get drunk," she mused before leaning forward for Jack's inspection," Am I drunk?"

"Aye, luv, I believe ye may be onto somethin' there. But, onto more important matters, that rum..."

Christina grinned and lifted her brows in mock innocence.

"Why, what rum?"

"Our deal, lass. Ye didn't think I'd let ye go without fulfilling yer end of our deal, now did ye?"

Realization brightened Christina's eyes.

"Mmm, I do have a faint recall of tha' deal."

"Good, I shall return with yer rum. Don't go run off with some other drunk."

Christina shook her head. Too hard, it seemed. Her vision followed quite a ways behind her head and she almost toppled off the chair. She snorted in amusement. Yes, indeed, she was drunk. Oh dear.

It took a good half hour for Jack to return, two mugs of rum in hand. He chuckled at Christina, having apparently become completely obsessed with just what was underneath her chair as she leaned in an awkward position to have a looksee. He arrived just as she lost balance and he quickly righted the chair.

"Probably not the best idea t'do that while ye are still in fact sitting on the thing, luv," he informed her, amused as he set down her mug before her.

She giggled at his comment before eyeing the mug and it's suspicious contents nervously.

"Will I like it?" she asked him solemnly.

He laughed at this.

"Who will know until ye try the stuff? 'Sides, it's not like ye have the choice anymore. Our deal."

Now it was her turn to laugh. Jack frowned. The woman definitely had a strange sense of humor when she was drunk.

"I've already f'filled my end of th'deal, Mr Sparrow," she informed him proudly.

Jack arched a brow.

"I do not see an empty mug before ye, Miss Lacimore."

"And you shan't. I said I would let y'buy me a rum. Never did I say a word 'bout drinkin' it."

This was not good. Jack Sparrow had been outsmarted by a woman. A woman. Irony was not a very nice lady, he decided. He felt a tangible blow to his generously oversized ego. He tried not to show his lack of pleasure and bared his teeth in a fake grin.

"Well, ye definitely have somethin' t'be proud of, luv. Ye have outsmarted a pirate. The Captain Jack Sparrow at that," he congratulated unenthusiastically, reaching for the rum before her. As quick as lightening, the mug was snatched away from his outstretched fingers and Christina poured the fiery liquid down her throat.

Jack watched in awe as the woman gulped down the rum. When the mug was empty, she slammed it back down on the table triumphantly. The tears burning her eyes were not concealed as she coughed and spluttered.

"Is it s'posed t'burn?" she managed to get out through her coughing.

"Aye, luv. Ye'll get used t'it," Jack chuckled.

His eyes widened when she stood swayingly from her seat and started walking away without any explanation. He considered letting her go but then thought the better, realizing that Will and Elizabeth would be less than thrilled about their friend going missing while in his capable care. Funny couple in ways like that.

"Christina, luv, where d'ye think yer goin'?" he slurred after her, staggering from his own seat and heading in the general direction of where he had last seen her turned back.

Pushing through the other intoxicated persons in the Pub, Jack turned his head this way and that, the beads and other trinkets entwined in his dreaded hair rattling with the movement. Where had that minx run off to?

"'Xcuse me, mate. 'Ave ye seen a girl, well, woman, I s'pose, about..." Jack frowned, trying to remember her height and lifted his hand to his neck for the random gentleman's observation, "About ye high? Long hair, blue dress..."

The rest of the description trailed off to nothing as Jack continued on, leaving the man with a confused expression in his wake.

This was not good. Will would have his neck if he didn't retrieve the lass as safe and sound as when he left her. And, more, importantly, all of Jack's hard work in seducing her would go to waste and some git would find her in the street, drunk as a pirate and pull her into some alleyway and...

Yes, he must find Christina.

Turning several tables over on the way, he made his way outside into the cool night.

"Christina!" he called, feeling a little worry slip through his drunken haze.

"Over 'ere..."

Jack spun towards the source, almost tripping over his own feet in the process.

"Stupid, good fer nothin' feet," he muttered irritably as he righted himself and saw Christina, sitting slumped on a short garden wall nearby.

"Over 'ere? Over 'ere! Ye just run off without so much as a farewell and yer 'over 'ere'? Dear William would have an aneurysm if 'e knew I lost ye!... Are ye alright, luv?" Jack asked cautiously as he clumsily sat beside her and regarded her not all there state. She stared at him blankly.

Worry creased Jack's features once again. Will definitely be less than pleased if he handed over the girl in a vegetative state.

"Luv, ye need t'give me some sort of a response, 'ere. Nod if ye can hear me."

Nothing. The poor lass had been unwittingly brainwashed by some cruel psychopath scientist out for a night on the town of victimizing young, helpless green eyed girls in blue dresses. He knew it. The facts were all there.

"'O did this t'ye, Christina? Can ye hear me?" Jack asked frantically, shaking her by the shoulders.

A response. She widened her eyes. Jack released his grip of her and gazed encouragingly at her, waiting for some sort of explanation.

She opened her mouth and then... leaned over him to empty the contents of her stomach on the ground below.

"Not me boots!" Jack yelped, reflexively lifting his feet. As the girl continued to wretch, Jack sympathetically pulled back her tresses from her face and rubbed her back softly, smiling and nodding at the smirking passerby's.

So much for his cruel psychopath scientist theory.

After a few minutes Christina fell silent, the convulsions finally ceasing to rack through her body as she leaned over Jack's lap.

"Ye alright now, luv?"

She finally lifted herself to a sitting position, turning the other way so as not to face him out of embarrassment.

"Sorry," she muttered.

"'Tis nothin' to apologise about. Me boots are safe," he quipped, looking down to be sure.

When she still did not look at him, he stood and moved to sit on the other side of her so that she was facing him. His eyes widened when he saw tears rolling down her cheeks.

"What's this about?" he asked softly, if a little uncomfortably, brushing the tears away with his finger.

"I want to go home."

Jack lifted his brows.

"Now? Listen, that was just 'cause ye 'aven't drunk that much b'fore. Ye'll be fine now."

Christina smirked bitterly.

"But that ain't the reason ye want t'go," Jack realised.

"The Commodore would probably have me sent to the gallows if he knew I was drinking rum with Captain Jack Sparrow on the night before our wedding."

"D'ye think it for the best that ye marryin' a man who you still refer to by his title. The same one who proposed to ye cousin but a year ago?"

Christina's deeply sad glistening eyes lifted to his inquisitive ones and any intentions he may have had before flew out the window, leaving only pity. And, along with the pity, a very devious plan started to form in the depths of his mind.

"What are you two doing by yourselves in the dark?" Elizabeth giggled with playful accusation narrowing her eyes as her and Will returned.

Covering for the teary eyed Christina, Jack tisked in disapproval at the couple who hung freely off of eachother.

"Asn't anyone told the two o ye that public displays of affection went out of fashion with last year's matching glove and collar sets?" he sighed as Christina wiped furiously at her face.

"Thanks for letting us in on the secret. Had any rum yet, Chris?" Elizabeth asked, a smile twitching at her lips.

Christina shrugged a guilty shrug and smiled elusively as Elizabeth linked arms with her and pulled her back into the Pub.

A couple of hours saw the two women passed out as the men sat talking secretively nearby.

"Jack... I don't know..." Will was saying warily, his speech slurring as he fought to keep his head in the same place.

"Ave I e'er given ye a reason not t'trust me, mate?" Jack grinned.

Will gave him a pointed look, blunted considerably by the alcohol in his system. Jack widened his eyes innocently.

"That's not fair! Ye know that that cat comin' at the particular time it chose to I had no control over!" he cried defensively.

Will sighed and shot a glance over at the unconscious Christina. He knew as well as anyone that the wedding was not a good idea. He sighed again.

"Okay, Jack. Promise you've got it under control and... I'll agree to the plan."

Jack gave a crooked grin, the one that always unsettled Will so.

"I've got it under control."

Hmm, so what exactly is Jack up to? Depending on how many reviews this gets, ye may just find out a little sooner. Fancy that, aye? Until next time, dear friends, farewell!