I shall tell ye a secret. This one is not of the juicy kind, however. It is sinister and morally wrong. I suppose most of ye already know and those of you who don't definately at least suspect the truth. If ye fit in to neither category, you are truly daft. The big, highly secretive secret is... I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean. Or the Black Pearl. Or her crew. Or Jack Sparrow. Now keep it to yeselves, ye hear!

"Alright, men. We are in Port Venesula! Drink as much rum as ye can handle, bed as many ladies as will allow ye and pick as many pockets as ye can manage. Just make sure ye back and ready on this 'ere deck in three days, aye? Off with ye!"

And, with a hearty cheer, the crew was gone, leaving an ecstatic looking Jack, an apprehensive looking Christina and a worried looking Will and Elizabeth standing on the Pearl.

It had taken them four days to get there. Four long days and it was now half way through the fourth night. When Christina had found out the name of where they were going, she had naturally asked what the place actually was. Elizabeth had described Port Venesula as the classier twin sister of Tortuga. This had left Christina asking as to whether a tortuga was a string or wind instrument. Will had referred to it as 'the painted ladies' city'. Jack had only smirked. This had made Christina a little nervous about the whole thing. And not much had changed throughout the journey there.

"Remind me again why we're in Port Venesula when we all know that it's the first place Norrington would look?" Will sighed.

"Aye, Norrington knows that this would be me first choice to be sure. But, he also knows that I know that he knows that it's me first choice. Therefore, he thinks he knows that because I know that he knows that it's me first choice that I shall go somewhere else. So, I know because he thinks he knows that because I know that he knows, he will be searchin' fer us elsewhere. Savvy?"

All three shook their heads.

Jack sighed, flinging his arm up to elaborate.

"The closer t'danger, the further from harm. Got it?"

Slowly, they all nodded.

"Aye," Jack nodded back.

"Jack, I hate to say it... but don't do anything stupid," Elizabeth warned pleadingly.

Jack snorted indignantly. The suggestion of him being able to do something stupid was a ridiculous one.

The snort did nothing to quell Elizabeth's fears and worry still creased her features as Will guided her off the Pearl.

"Ye hungry, luv?" Jack asked, excitement in his eyes that unsettled Christina.

"... I guess so...," she answered cautiously.

Within fifteen minutes, they were seated in a bar that Christina had not caught the name of. Gazing around at the other people inside, she figured she would neither need or want to remember it for future references anyway. Even the bartender, a big burly brute of a man, made her nervous.

"Jack, are you sure we can't eat somewhere else?" she whispered across the table, her eyes pleading with him.

"No need t'be scared, luv. All old friends of mine... or old not so threatening enemies," he added admittedly.

Just before Christina could open her mouth again, a loud screech was heard.

"Jack!"

Jack turned slowly and unaffectedly in his chair towards the source. His eyes lit up.

"Anna!"

Christina watched in awe as Jack jumped up from his seat and pulled the curly blonde haired girl with the short red dress and purposefully unsubtle make up on into a tight embrace.

"Where tha blazes did ye run off to fer so long?" Anna asked accusingly through a flirty smile. Christina guessed she was a couple of years older than herself.

"Ah, ye know how it goes. Treasure. Fightin'. Rum," Jack grinned as Anna pulled him towards the bar.

Christina could only stare in shock, her jaw hanging unashamedly agape. He had left her. Alone in a bar of preying sleazy men like himself. The insensitive git!

"'O's the bird, Jack?"

Jack lifted his brows at the question.

"What bird?"

"The bird wearin' yer clothes."

Without turning around to follow her gaze, he realised she was talking about Christina. He should've realised straight away but the word 'bird' in reference to her, considering her obvious ladylike tendencies had put him off. Though, now he thought about it now, anyone looking at her now would not have thought her to be of the upper class. She wore his black shirt and pants still and her hair, usually immaculately styled to perfection, hung loose in an unintentionally messy bun. Not a scrap of makeup graced her ivory pale skin and, of course, she had walked in with him.

"Just some damsel in distress I took time t'rescue from some evil villain."

Anna snorted.

"If she's just some damsel then why's she wearin' ye clothes?" she asked pointedly as she poured him a mug of rum.

Jack frowned.

"An' why would the fact that she's wearin' my clothes mean anything t'ye?"

"Please, Jack. Ye know as well as I do it's one of the many ways ye lay yer claim on a woman."

"That's not true."

"It's as true as true gets. I know. I used t'be the woman wearin' ye clothes."

"I best be gettin' back to the lass before she gets too nervous. Thanks fer the rum."

Jack had dodged the subject because he had realised she was right. As he walked away from her, he tried to figure out why he had in fact put Christina in his clothes. He couldn't stand the woman. She drove him insane. He couldn't help but to smirk at her glare as he approached.

"I can't believe you just left me!" she hissed.

"I was just catching up with old aquantainces. Did ye want a rum?"

"That woman did not look like an acquaintance."

"That's because yer lookin' at it from a jealous female's point of view."

"I'm not jealous!" Christina spat, making Jack chuckle.

"Did ye want a rum or not?"

"No."

"Fine," Jack nodded sitting back down at the table, "What would ye have t'eat, me lady?"

"Where's the menu?"

"They're reprinting them at this moment in time. Should be rather exciting to see the new ones. Tell me what ye'd like and I'll tell ye if they have it."

"Did you used to work here or something?"

Jack laughed long and loudly at this. With tears in his eyes, he shook his head.

"Nay, not really my style."

Christina frowned. She was about to question the topic further when she was interrupted.

"Jack!"

Jack again turned slowly in his chair and recognition brightened his face when he saw the sultry looking brunette with the scantily sad excuse for a dress and make up just as loud as Anna's.

"Teresa!"

This happened numerous times more during the night. Victoria. Nicole. Penelope. Jennifer. Sandra. Maria. All women.

When it was a few hours from first light, Christina was sitting slumped at the bar. She had eaten the chef's less tasteful version of chicken roast. She had attempted to drink a mug of rum but couldn't manage. She had made a rather intriguing structure out of glasses. But now she just leaned lethargically on the countertop as Jack chatted merrily with two women who's names she hadn't had the pleasure of catching.

Anna had been observing the depressed looking bird at the bar for the last half hour. For a girl lucky enough to be wearing Jack's clothes, she sure did not look blissfully inclined. She finally decided to talk to her and sashayed over.

"'Ello, lass. Yer Jack's girl, right?"

Christina wrinkled her nose.

"No. I'm his abductee. Christina."

Anna laughed, assuming it was a joke.

"Right, lucky you. So why'd ye get 'im ta bring ye here?"

"I didn't. I've never been here before. He just took me here to eat."

Anna's eyes widened. Christina's narrowed.

"What?" she asked warily.

"Ye mean he just took ye here fer dinner. Like a date?"

"No! God no! It was just to eat."

"Even worse," Anna sighed.

"Why is it so shocking that he took me here?"

Anna eyed the girl sympathetically. She really had no idea where she was. Jack truly was a bastard.

"Listen, lass. This is the sort of place where lonely men usually come in alone and then emerge with a pretty lady on arm, short a few dollars. D'ye get me drift?"

Christina was about to shake her head and then stopped. The bloody pirate had taken her to dinner. At a...

"You took me to dinner at a brothel!" Christina shrieked as she rained blows down on Jack's head and shoulders.

"What in the blazes!" Jack yelped, leaping up to restrain her. The women left.

"I cannot believe you!"

"What! What are ye on about, luv?"

"I'm on about you taking me to dinner at a brothel, you fool! You vile, perverted git!"

Anna chuckled at the scene. Her chuckle died in her throat when Jack sent her a deathly glare.

"You told 'er!" he accused.

"Wait, so it was a big secret! A sick joke?" Christina shouted at him.

"No! It wasn't that big of a deal! Could even be seen as a cultural experience," Jack replied defensively, turning back to glare again at Anna, " I can't believe ye told 'er!"

"She had a right t'know, Jack. I wasn't about ta lie and save yer sorry hide," Anna smirked.

"Thanks fer yer support, Anna. Always a pleasure," Jack spat.

"Ah, keep it up, Jack, an' I shall 'ave ta remind ye of yer bill. All tha money ye owe me," the girl warned. This silenced Jack.

It was now that he noticed that Christina had left.

"Blast," he muttered, stalking out the door. Women were not worth all this trouble surely.

"Christina," he called unenthusiastically after the hurried woman as she marched down the road.

She sped up. The wench was going to make him run.

Sighing, he fastened his pace to a jog. He figured he owed it Will and Elizabeth to not let her run off and get raped and brutally murdered by some sick lunatic roaming the streets.

When he caught up with her, he ran around in front and faced her, matching her hurried pace but walking backwards.

"I'm going back to the Pearl," she informed him sharply before he had a chance to speak.

"Well, if that be the case, may I suggest ye turn yeself around as at this moment in time ye are in fact heading away form yer chosen destination," Jack told her sympathetically.

Christina, too stubborn to let him be right, kept on walking the way she was going.

"I didn't think ye'd mind so much, luv."

"Yes you did. That's why you didn't tell me."

She was right. She was good, Jack had to admit.

"Alright, so maybe I thought it would be best not t'tell ye."

"What would've been best would be to take me somewhere else," she spat.

"Well, I'm afraid that in Port Venesula, there's not much choice. It's either bars that do prostitution on the side or brothels. There's not the restaurants an upper class prep like yerself are used to."

"My class status has nothing to do with it! You were in the wrong and you know it!"

"Aye, I know it but I still don't underst-"

Jack unwittingly backed into the tree that Christina had purposefully been steering him towards and his sentence was interrupted by the loud thump of his head making sharp contact with it's trunk. Christina kept walking.

"You, Miss Lacimore, are a cold, cold woman!" Jack shouted as he started after her, gingerly feeling the lump that was starting to form on the back of his scalp.

An unwelcome laugh escaped Christina.

"Ah, and she laughs at me. I have a serious head injury and she laughs. Well, pleasure to be entertainment t'ye," Jack told her bitterly.

Rolling her eyes, Christina turned back to face him. His running into the tree had cooled down her anger a little and she smiled smugly.

"Let me have a look at that serious head injury."

Jack was about to protest but she jerked his head down so that he was slouched and looking at her feet as her fingers searched for the lump.

"Ouch!" Jack yelped when she found it.

"Pipe down, you wuss."

"I do not appreciate tha- Be gentle, would ye!"

Christina tried to smother a giggle with her forearm as she felt the lump. It was big and growing rapidly. She took her hand away.

"It's nothing. Hardly even a lump there," she lied.

Jack pulled her hand to it again.

"It's enormous. Tell me it isn't enormous," he demanded.

"It just needs some ice."

"It needs an apology."

"I refuse to apologise for that sad excuse for an injury unless you apologise for taking me to that brothel."

"Fine. I am terribly sorry fer takin' ye to the brothel. It was incredibly wrong of me and I should've shown ye more respect than that. I pray you will forgive me."

"Promise it won't ever happen again."

"I promise ye that fer the rest of me days, I shall never take ye into that brothel again," Jack promised with a sly smile.

Christina arched a brow.

"Or any other one."

Jack's face fell.

"Or any other one," he repeated grudgingly, flicking the air.

"Good."

"And my apology?"

"Sorry about the lump," Christina apologized before turning back towards the Pearl.

Jack stared after her incredulously before following after her.

"That's it? That's all I get?"

"Yes, be thankful. I don't consider it worthy of an apology anyway."

"You, my dear lady, are a piece of work, I'll give you that," Jack shook his head as they walked.

Their arguing, mixed with laughter was heard the whole way back to the Pearl, made a lot longer due to Christina heading the wrong way.

Surely the two weren't finally getting along?

Well, I have t'tell ye. If they are gettin' along, I wouldn't count on it lastin' fer too long. Not a chance.

Jennifer123: I do not 'ave a clue why there's only three reviews. Four including yours. Thankye kindly. He he he, yes, Christina's got quite the temper, aye? I hope neither of 'em caved in in this part. I don't think they did anyway. But, ye'll have to excuse me lack of knowledge, being new to the site 'n' all. How am I on this anonymous (there's the spellin' fer ye... hope it's right) thing and how do I get off it? Ha, hopeless.

Karibbean: Thankye kindly. Hope you like this one too. And I agree about Jack's reaction. That's the best part to write! He's such a fool. In a good way, if that's possible...