I like to think of meself as reasonably, notably intelligent. Most people do, I s'pose. That's why we watch the news so we don't look like fools when it comes t'conversations about current events. That's why we read books we may or may not enjoy so that we have sources t'draw from fer uncomfortable silences. But, unfortunately, I've been startin' t'doubt me notable intelligence with time. The more ye know, the more ye don't know. That's what they say. So, after I finish typin' this up, I'm goin' ta sit down an' watch a full hour of all of the news channels I can find an' read some Shakespeare, I reckon... Nay, still don't own Pirates of the Caribbean.
When it's depressing for your eyes to open in the morning, you are not in a very good place, Christina decided glumly as she pulled herself out of bed. She had had dinner with the Commodore last night, very obviously against her wishes. She had cursed herself silently a thousand times during the dinner for being to polite, pretending to listen to Norrington list off the notable triumphs the Navy had had while she had been gone.
All very interesting, to be sure.
She had been rejoicing inwardly when he had let her retreat back home and sleep, not without an awkward kiss that made her cringe to think about it even now as she pulled on a night robe.
She prepared her own breakfast, much to the cook's disgrace, and sat to it eat alone as it was late in the morning and everyone else had eaten already before continuing with their busy days. She heard a knock on the door and Geoffrey scuttled past to answer it. After a few minutes of no one's arrival being announced, Christina stood and made her way to the parlor, an involuntary grin pulling at her lips when she spotted Jack trying to convince Geoffrey that he was in fact allowed to enter the house.
"I'm not a criminal anymore. Ye have t'let me in," Jack was telling the hesitant butler.
"I have not been told of any change in your being a criminal, Mr Sparrow. I must insist that you leave," Geoffrey requested coolly.
"Do I look like a man tha' would lie t'ye, Geoff?" Jack asked with mock innocence.
Geoffrey arched a brow in response and Jack lowered his.
"You can let him in, Geoffrey," Christina told him and both turned to look at her. Geoffrey immediately stepped aside and Jack grinned as he entered.
"Ye should really consider getting more helpful help, luv. It's not very becomin' t'be refused entry as though yer some common criminal," he smirked with mock disdain.
"I'm terribly sorry, sir. We've been meaning to get rid of the old sod for some time," Christina nodded snootily back, attracting a glare from Geoffrey as he turned on his heel and left. Christina led Jack into the dining room.
"Have you had breakfast?" she asked lightly.
"It's lunchtime, luv," Jack informed her smilingly.
Christina lifted her brows in suprise, "Really? Are you here for lunch then?"
"Why is it that ye assume I'm here for food?"
"The only other thing would be rum and surely you know that you would not find a drop of it in this house."
Jack smirked, "Actually, I'm here to cordially invite you to a night of celebration on the Black Pearl."
"What are you celebrating?"
"Me clemency, 'course. Are ye comin'?"
"'Course I am," Christina mocked his casual language. There was a knock at the door and Geoffrey scuttled past to answer it. A few seconds later, the Commodore appeared in the doorway of the dining room.
"Now, how is it that ye got in without a fight, mate?" Jack shook his head with mock disdain for the man.
Norrington ignored him, turning to Christina, "Would you like to join me for lunch, Christina?"
She smiled a smile that Jack knew was forced and he jumped in.
"Actually, mate, it seems I beat ye t'the chase. I invited the lass t'lunch but a minute ago. Ye'll have t'book her fer tomorrow," Jack shrugged apologetically.
Norrington curled his lip in distaste for the pirate and looked at Christina quizzically, "Is this so?"
"Apart from the booking part," she nodded.
"Oh... I shall see you tomorrow then, I suppose," the Commodore said with obvious disappointment.
"Ye were goin' t'marry that man?" Jack asked in disbelief when he had left.
"Am. I am marrying that man," Christina corrected sadly.
"Why would ye do that, luv?" Jack frowned.
"Jack, he knows the secret and he's still willing to marry me. How much more decent than that can you get?"
"That's 'cause he can't get anyone else, lass. Doesn't that tell ye anythin'?" Jack asked pressingly.
Christina brushed the subject off, "I believe you asked me to lunch, Mr Sparrow?"
It was a few hours before she returned back home, light at heart. Elizabeth and Will were there waiting for her and preparing for the party that night. Christina could not help but to notice a little tension between the two.
A little tension being a big understatement.
"Looking forward to the party?" Christina asked Elizabeth lightly as they changed.
"Of course she is. It's on the Pearl," Will answered testily from the next room.
"Anything to get out of the house," Elizabeth spat loud enough for him to hear.
Christina listened to the exchange with worry etching her features, "Liz, what's wrong?"
"Oh, nothing. Just that my husband wants me to become a miserable, opinionless, submissive housewife who cleans, washes and pops out children once in a while," Elizabeth replied loudly.
"I said nothing of the sort, Elizabeth!" Will roared, storming into the room.
"Really? That's what I remember hearing, William!" Elizabeth grit. Both parties seemed to forget that Christina was still in the room.
"I said that it might be nice to settle down and have some children and leave the Pearl to Jack!" Will cried defensively.
"Exactly! You want me to become a miserable, opinionless, submissive housewife who pops-"
"How does settling down mean you have to be a miserable housewife?" Will argued, cutting his wife off. Not a good idea.
"How can it not! You're saying the same thing as I am, just in men's terms!" Elizabeth snarled.
"Why must it always come down to me being a man and that making me an insensitive fool?" Will complained accusingly.
Christina chose to leave the happily married couple to their happy conversation and slipped quietly out of the room unnoticed.
Geoffrey met her in the hall coming the opposite way.
"Oh, Miss Lacimore, Commodore Norrington is downstairs to see you," he told her apologetically. She groaned and headed for the dreaded parlor where the dreaded Commodore would be waiting.
"Hello, Christina," Norrington greeted when he spotted her stepping down the stairs. He frowned at seeing she was already dressed up for going out.
"Hello, James. Fancy seeing you here. Seeing that I saw you here a few hours ago," Christina replied with barely hidden impatience.
"Yes, well, I thought that since we couldn't have lunch together, we might have dinner tonight," he smiled. Christina bit her lip and the smile faded.
"Actually, James, I already have plans. With Jack," she informed him softly.
Trying not to show his suprised disdain for the pirate mentioned, he nodded, "With Sparrow? But did you not have lunch with him today?"
"Yes. But there's a party on the Black Pearl tonight. Maybe tomorrow," she shrugged noncommittally.
The Commodore nodded with acceptance and hovered a little while, obviously wanting to say something.
"Christina,... be careful with Sparrow. I don't want to see you hurt."
Christina knew that would be the most that this man would ever open up. And she felt gratitude to him for him taking the effort to open up to her if only very slightly. She smiled softly and nodded and he left. She rolled her eyes at the sound of Will and Elizabeth's raised voices from upstairs and checked the time on the grandfather clock in the hall.
"Time to go!" she called loudly and after a little more yelling, the couple appeared and made their way separately down the stairs and separately out the door. Christina shot a look heavenward before following after them.
An hour into the party, everyone on the Pearl was very merry, very loud and very drunk. Somehow, Jack had found all of the suprisingly large population of pirates on Port Royal that weren't locked up and, presently, the Pearl seemed to float a little lower in the water with her load.
Jack had bought out every tavern in town, a five hundred year life supply of rum on the side of the deck. Will and Elizabeth stayed on opposite sides of the ship without fail. They were two of the only three people on board who did not consider piracy their primary occupation, the third being Christina though no one seemed to notice.
Too happy or too drunk depending on your moral stance.
The large group of pirates danced in a sad excuse for a circle, Jack and Mr Gibbs singing at the top of their lungs in the middle as they jigged and fought to keep their rum in their mugs and not on the deck.
Christina and Elizabeth watched from the side of the deck that Will wasn't on, sipping from their own mugs occasionally.
"Bloody pi'ates," Elizabeth hiccuped and Christina shot her a sideways look.
"Don' y'think y've 'ad enough f'one night, Liz?" Christina slurred.
"Yes, I was jus' thinkin' th'same thing, Chris. We mus' be cousins or somethin'," Elizabeth replied sarcastically.
Debating whether or not to stop her friend from drinking herself into oblivion, Christina finally shrugged and let the situation take care of itself. Elizabeth chugged down the remainder of her rum then stared at the bottom of her empty mug.
"'O drank all m'rum?" she mused and Christina snorted. Elizabeth threw the mug over her shoulder into the water below and went in search of more alcohol. Christina decided too late that she should stop her and when she started after her, she found that she could not find her. She slumped her shoulders in defeat but her face lit up when she saw Jack coming her way through the crowd.
He grinned widely upon seeing her barely able to stand state.
"Ye've been drinkin', luv?" he asked in a mockingly patronizing tone.
She shook her head and almost fell over in the process. Jack helped her right herself.
"D'ye know how t'play cards, Christina?" he asked casually as he led her towards a turned over barrel serving a table with a deck of cards on the top.
"Doesn't everyone?" she chuckled as he sat her down on a crate and pulled one up for himself. The other teams were Mr Gibbs and Ana Maria, an odd match if there ever was one, and a random Hispanic looking pirate and his lover who he insisted on kissing passionately every ten seconds.
Fifteen minutes later, it was understandable that Jack would regret his choice of partner who read out his cards by accident at least nine times and put down his good cards while he wasn't looking. Miraculously, he still managed to pull money out of everyone's pockets and ended the game with gain to be proud of.
"Well done, Christina. You didn't lose me the game," he congratulated and she grinned.
"Wha' can I say? M'card playin' skills are infinite," she shrugged. They halved the money and Jack left her for a moment to get some rum.
On the way he saw a very depressed looking Elizabeth sitting on an overturned crate with her head in her hands. He had noticed that she and Will had not been seen together the entire night and he assumed they must of had a spat. Deciding to play the pep talker out of the goodness in his heart, he swayed over and sat on the crate beside her.
"Wha's wrong, luv?" he asked with concern.
She lifted her head and he saw that tears glistened in her honey eyes. She was sniffling so he searched his person for anything he could offer her as a handkerchief. Turning up with nothing, he ruefully untied the bandana from his head and handed it to her, grimacing as she nodded in thanks and blew her nose into it. She offered it back but he shook his head and lifted his hands in surrender at the now offending bandana.
"Jack, woul' it make me a terrible person if I seduced some random pi'ate t'night?" she slurred sadly. Jack lowered his brows.
"A terrible person? I doubt it, Elizabeth. But I think ye would have a hard time jus' seducin' anyone with yer backgroun'," he told her. Although the comment had not meant to be offensive, she took it to heart. Anger flickered in her eyes before her expression changed to one that Jack could not remember seeing on her face before. An expression that made him very uncomfortable as she leaned closer to him.
"I'll 'ave y'know that I can be a very seductive woman, Jack," she purred.
Jack smiled nervously, "An' I 'ave no doubt on that, Elizabeth. But I would prefer it if yer amazing seductive abilities were not focused on me as a target."
Elizabeth pouted with disappointment at his words before her her eyes brightened with what Jack already knew would not be a very bright idea.
"Maybe, if y'gave me a chance, I coul' change y'mind," she whispered. Jack jumped straight off his crate when she placed a suggestive hand on his thigh.
"What the bleedin' 'ell are ye doin', woman?" he yelped as quietly as he could, not forgetting that Will was on the other side of the deck. Elizabeth's eyes widened with shock at the effect of her gesture of affection had taken on the pirate usually so open to such things.
"Wassa matter?" she asked innocently.
"What's the matter? What's the matter? The matter, Elizabeth, is that you are too drunk fer either of our good an' you and Will 'avin' a spat is no reason fer ye t'go an' try t'seduce some poor unsuspectin' soul," Jack told her firmly.
She rolled her eyes and Jack frowned. Standing up, she stepped close so that he could smell the rum on her breath. He lifted his eyes heavenward, praying silently, fervently, that rapture would take place at the present moment.
"Listen 'ere, mighty 'n' high-" Elizabeth started loudly.
"High an' mighty," Jack corrected apologetically and she gave a fierce scowl.
"If Will an' I 'ad a spat, it's none of y'concern. 'Cause Will an' I's business is our own, no one else's. An' if I happen t'want t'seduce some random, then it's none of y'concern neither," Elizabeth grit, poking him in the chest with each syllable of her drunken lecture.
"Ye made it me concern when ye tried t'seduce me, ye minx!" Jack hissed after her as she stumbled away.
Nothing good could come of this, Jack knew as he watched her attempt to start an intelligent conversation with the mast which she had clumsily run into. An hour saw him corrected. Something good had come of Elizabeth's intoxicated state.
The crew had entertainment.
Jack could only thank his lucky stars that Will had decided to go home early, asking him to make sure that his wife got home safely. The pirate cringed as he watched Elizabeth dance sensually to music only she heard, a half empty rum bottle in one hand and her skirts hitched up high above her knee in the other. The crew cheered and whistled and she fed off their encouragement, rubbing her back against an uncomfortable looking Mr Gibbs who shot Jack a pleading look.
Taking a deep breath, Jack strode purposefully toward Elizabeth, who until now, he would never have considered calling a strumpet. Clearing his throat, he tapped the woman on the shoulder and she spun around, question written on her features. She grinned when she recognized two Jacks before her.
"Fin'lly came 'round, did y'Jack?" she asked as she put an arm around his neck. Pleased at no longer being the focus of Elizabeth's attention, Mr Gibbs ducked away without a word. Jack pried himself out of the woman's grasp and snatched her rum bottle away, throwing it overboard. He then turned to glare fiercely at his crew.
"Ye should all be ashamed of yeselves! She's a married woman, fer God's sake! The party's over!" Jack barked. With very vocal disappointment, Elizabeth's audience dispersed grudgingly.
Seeing that her attention payers were no longer paying attention, Elizabeth turned on Jack. Too quickly, resulting in her almost toppling over and relying on him to keep her on her feet. As he held her up, she gazed intently at him.
"Y'really are a good man, Jack."
Jack lifted his brows and was about to correct her on the matter when she fell limp in his arms. He grunted as he fought to keep her from falling to the ground and her head flopped loosely back. Grumbling something about his loyalties to Will not being worth the abuse he received from his wife, he lifted Elizabeth up over his shoulder and carried her the half mile to their house.
When he returned, he found Christina sitting in the middle of the deck and the dancing pirates, fighting to stay awake.
"Ye alright, luv?" he asked warily over the noise of everyone else on the Pearl, not really wanting to have to deal with another drunken, seductive woman. He lowered his brows at that thought. Since when was he unwilling to deal with a drunken, seductive woman?
She lifted her head and smiled hazily, "I'm drunk."
Jack's lips twitched into a smile at this. At least this one was very aware of her intoxication. He walked to her and helped her to her clumsy feet. She fell against him and giggled, making him chuckle.
"Oh, I thought ye were only jokin' about bein' drunk," he told her teasingly.
She finally fixed him with a serious and pondering look. He lifted his brows in expectation.
"Jack?"
"Aye."
"D'ye find me attractive?"
Jack sighed inwardly. Seems he would have to deal with another drunken, seductive woman.
Well, I'm off. Ha. Sorry, it was jus' too long t'put in one chapter. So ye'll jus' 'ave ta wait, I 'spose. Wish I could feel more sympathetic.
Karibbean: Aye, I liked tha' conversation too, mate! An' Jack's smart arse comment about gettin' Will an' Elizabeth drunk was just as fun t'write as it was t'read, I assure ye! An' by 'lift' I did mean 'steal'. Sorry fer the confusion. It's good t'know someone's laughin', luv.
MariAmber: I'm glad it's fun fer ye t'read an' I 'ope this update was soon enough fer ye, aye?
Siriusly Sirius Lily Black: Well, 'ello, luv. Aye, Jack likes women. Can't blame 'im really. We are stunning creatures. An' yes, it don' take no genius t'know that Jack an' Chris 'ave the hots fer eachother. But if they get t'gether is another matter... Shall 'ave t'see wha' I can talk 'em into fer the next chapter...
SawCyn-WroteSin: Nay, Jack shoul've got cut down a lil shorter. As fer his hat fetish, I believe ye may be onto somethin', luv. It definately sounds like it 'as a lot t'do with his charm. An' poor poor Commodore Norrington... I do 'ave plans fer 'im but I can't disclose them at this moment in time...
Ailuro: Well, 'ello, 'ello! A large bounty on ye head, aye? That must be a drag. Glad ye liked the different characters' ways of dealin' with the uncomfortable situation. I 'specially liked Jack's idea! An' I could see ye not really enjoyin' chapter 11 but I'm glad ye liked chapter 12 an' I hope ye'll like this one too. It's long, I know.