Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl, it belongs to Eoin Colfer.

The Fowls had wasted more than a month in Vienna on "vacation," Artemis was being forced to attend a concert with the rest of the family, and his father had decided to enroll him in a day camp. Needless to say, Artemis Fowl was miserable.

"Father, you can't be seriously considering this. It would a complete misemployment of my time, and of your money. What possible benefit would this ridiculous idea yield?"
Artemis Fowl Senior sighed deeply, "You refer to it as if it were a business transaction."
Artemis replied quickly, "You are paying the camp an unreasonable amount of money to enroll me into some useless program in which I will gain nothing. Preposterous as it is, paying the camp in exchange for my enrollment is a perfectly legitimate business transaction."
His father sighed again, "There you go, transforming it into a business matter. I am sorry that I have always taught you that way son, but not everything is about money."
Artemis' response was automatic, "Aurum Est Potestas."
His father bristled, "I regret teaching you that, and centering both our lives around the old family motto."
"What do you imply?"
Artemis Fowl Senior stood up from his chair, "Aurum Est Potestas, tamen Prosapia Est Gaudium. Gold is power, but family is happiness. Think about it Arty." With that said, he started to walk out of the room
Halfway to the door, he stopped, "And you will attend day camp Arty."
Artemis almost laughed, "And why must I comply with this idiocy?"
His father turned, "Because I now invoke the right any parent has over their child."
Artemis didn't understand, "And what 'right' would you be alluding to?"
His father's reply was final, "You will comply with this idiocy simply because it is my will that you do."
Artemis was surprised to say the least. On previous occasion, when he had been forced to do something, his father had always had a strong, logical, and sensible reason; and that reason was never, "because I said so" or any variant of the worthless phrase.
It was at that moment that Butler entered the room.
"What's wrong Artemis?" Butler inquired out of nowhere.
For the second time that day, Artemis was surprised, "What leads you to believe I am troubled?"
Butler smiled, "I have been in your employ since the day of your birth. After thirteen years beside you, I have learned to sense when something is on your mind."

Artemis was silent, but Butler persisted, "Care to tell me what's peeving you?"

Artemis sighed, "No, but if I don't, you will continue badgering me until I confess. So, rather than waste both our time, I will tell you."

Butler couldn't help laughing, "Well?"

"My father has decided to enroll me in a day camp." Butler laughed for a whole minute.
After his amusement subsided, he inquired once again, "Seriously Artemis, what is on your mind?"
"I am quite serious Butler."
Butler laughed for another whole minute.
Perhaps Butler's good mood was contagious, for even Artemis couldn't help a chuckle.
"I'll prepare immediately. You will need security, and of course hidden bodyguards in the event of an attack."
Artemis was about to respond, when his mother entered the room.
"Arty! You're not even dressed. We leave for the concert in fifteen minutes."
"I won't be a moment; Butler, mother, please excuse me while I change into more formal attire."
Fifteen minutes later, they were all seated comfortably in a large limousine, Butler driving them toward the Vienna Musikverein, Vienna's world famous concert hall.
"Excited Arty?" His mother asked Artemis
It was rare that you heard sarcasm from Artemis, but when the situation warranted it, even Artemis couldn't resist a sarcastic reply,

"Ecstatic."

NOTE: If it seems like it isn't going anywhere, I apologize. I just needed an extra chapter to fully prepare the story for the real plot. Chapter 3 will be long ... very long, and you will see more of the things promised in the summary.