Allo all. I see ye 'ave missed me while I've been gone. Understandable. A lot of reviews t'reply to this chapter. Flippin' 'eck. Ye filled up a whole page of reviews. Congratulations. But, again, understandable. Jus' t'remind ye, Jack an' Christina 'ave sprung out Jack's crew. Now they 'ave t'get themselves the hell out of Port Royal. Good fun, eh?
It was late in the morning after the rescuing pirates escapade that Christina opened her eyes.
Dark chocolate eyes smiled back at her as a light hand traced up and down her side. Jack.
Christina screamed. And to follow the scream up, she jumped back and, unfortunately misjudging the bed space behind her, landed with a loud thud on the wooden floor boards below. She heard Jack chuckle.
Typical for the pirate to find such an embarrassing mishap amusing.
Christina felt her face flush and she bit her lip. Very, very slowly, she raised herself up on all fours, ignoring the pain in her lower back from her fall. With wide eyes, she gradually lifted her head until she caught sight of Jack over the edge of the bed, smirking at her.
"Why, what charmin' morning after grace ye have, luv," he complimented her.
Christina felt her stomach jump to her throat, "Oh... my God..."
This only made Jack chuckle more. Christina quickly looked down and let out a sigh of relief at the sight of her dress clad body. She had only slept with Jack.
In the literal sense of the phrase.
"Thank God..." she breathed.
"Fer what?" Jack inquired, obviously finding the performance rather amusing, a crooked grin twitching at his mouth. Christina took a moment to look around, realizing she was not familiar with her surroundings.
"Where are we?" she frowned.
"Chester's," he answered matter of factly.
"Oh... Friend of yours?" she asked hopefully.
Jack laughed, "It's a brothel."
Christina's jaw dropped, "You promised you wouldn't take me into any brothel ever again!"
"Under the circumstances, I'm afraid there was no choice, luv," Jack shrugged, inspecting his fingernails nonchalantly.
"What circumstances?" she spat.
"Must I really spell ev'ry little thing out fer yer, Christina? After last night, where else would the Navy not bother t'look fer us? It was out of my hands so I cannot be held accountable fer the oversteppin' of our promise," he sniffed.
Christina rolled her eyes and pushed herself up from the cold floor rather clumsily and dusted herself off, trying to look as dignified as possibly possible as one could after such a foolish fall.
Not very.
"A gentleman would've given the lady the bed and taken the floor to sleep on," she muttered irritably.
"Aye, ye're right. But I ain't a gentleman, am I?" Jack smirked as he swung his feet around to the floor and stretched.
"Bloody pirate," Christina agreed, fully intending to give him a lecture before she caught a glimpse out the window to the street below. Her eyes narrowed and she stepped closer. She saw parties of red coats half walking, half running down the path, all rifles very visible and threatening, obviously on the hunt for some disgraceful criminal, a running fugitive, an embarrassment to their perfect society...
"...Their looking for us!" Christina shrieked in realization.
Jack jumped at her sudden rise in volume and sent a worried glance at the door, outside of which he could imagine the hall swarming with dozens of officers looking for him. Just barely concealing their hopeful joy at the thought of the drum roll that would signal the floor falling out from underneath Captain Jack Sparrow's boots and the dull crack that would be his neck in the noose. He shuddered and turned back to the stunned lass who stood in the very clear view of those outside the window.
"Well, I'm sure they'll think ye a fantastic citizen an' greatly appreciate yer help with the task but yer playin' fer the wrong team," he hissed.
"Am I a criminal? Am I an accomplice?" Christina asked urgently.
"What does it matter? I thought ye said ye don't care if ye get locked up," Jack reminded her calmly as he pulled on his boots.
"And then you said not to say that because I'd never been locked up before. So I took it back," Christina told him.
"I didn't hear ye take it back," Jack replied.
"I didn't tell you I took it back but I did. After you say something like that, it goes unsaid that the person is obviously going to take back their words. It's the rule," Christina insisted as he stood and moved the curtain to get a look out the window.
"I ain't never heard a rule like that, luv," Jack murmured as he watched a man being questioned by a few red coats.
Christina paused before turning pleading eyes on him, "Jack, I'm too young to go to jail."
Jack lifted his eyes to hers, trying not to laugh when he realised she was serious, "Christina, I assure you, you are not too young to go to jail. An' ye have nothin' t'worry about anyway. Yer daddy already 'as a pirate daughter. As if he could handle the social disgrace of 'avin a jail bird as a child on top of that."
"...This had nothing to do with my father," Christina spat, sounding very unconvicted.
"An' I'm your majesty the King," Jack smirked.
Christina was about to fire back a retort about his painfully apparent lack of majesty when a knock on the door silenced her. Both sets of eyes shot to the door, both bodies unmoving. There was another knock.
"Who is it?" Jack called, disguising his voice to sound like an old lady, Christina guessed.
"'O do ye think it is, ye scally wag? Open the bloody door already!" came the impatient response. Jack's features relaxed with recognition of the voice. He strode across the room and opened the door to reveal a pile of clothes with legs and high heeled feet.
"Penelope," Jack greeted warmly, opening his arms.
"Come off it, Jack. Move out of my way," the pile of clothes spat, pushing past a stunned to the point of silence Jack and moving to the middle of the room. Suddenly, the pile of clothes was on the floor, in it's place a beautiful dark featured woman in a short blue dress. The woman took a look at Christina, all of Christina, and started sifting through the pile of clothes. Christina blinked in suprise.
"Nice t'see ye too, Penny," Jack muttered, not accustomed to such an almost non-existent, cold and not even slightly sensual greeting from women in the industry.
"Oh, yeah, real nice, Jack. I don't see you f'two years an' when I do hear from you, it's asking if your lady friend can borrow some clothes. Real nice," Penny retorted as she continued searching through her clothes, "I must say, the two years you weren't here were bliss."
Jack narrowed his eyes at her, "Ye know, I 'aven't a clue why I give ye the pleasure of knowin' me."
"Because you're an incompetent male in need of the guidance of all the women you can seduce who'll stoop so low as to pay heed t'your petty games for a night or so. Sum it up for you?" Penny replied, unphased.
Christina couldn't hold back a snigger and Jack scowled at her. She quickly pursed her lips and lifted her brows innocently.
"Right, 'ere we go. Try this on, lass," Penny said, holding up a ruby red, lace up, thigh high, sad excuse for a dress.
"...What?" Christina frowned.
"Put the dress on," Jack told her bitterly, flicking the air and still trying to heal his bruised ego.
"Why?" Christina asked. Penny let out a huff of impatience.
"How else d'ye expect t'get out of 'ere? It's a disguise," Jack elaborated.
"That's half a disguise," Christina sneered, attracting a pointed glare from Penny.
"I'll have you know it's very flattering," the woman informed her testily. Christina offered a forced nervous smile and more out of fear than anything else, accepted the dress thrust towards her.
She lifted it up before her face, inspecting the garment distastefully.
"Is this really necessary?" she moaned, dropping her arms and looking at Jack for mercy.
"Not really. Just amusing," he smirked.
She glared.
"It's bloody necessary!" he exclaimed.
She glared more as he and Penny turned their backs to give her privacy. She felt very, very low when she started changing into the dress, thinking it would be more bearable to be caught and spend the rest of her days behind bars than to be caught dead in the ruby dress.
"What'd you do?" Penny asked Jack as they waited.
"Long story. Basically, firstly, I kidnapped 'er. A few days after that, I left her outside in the cold fer a few hours, dripping wet. Then, I traded her for a ship. When we got 'ere, I used the fact that I knew about her being Barbossa's daughter to gain clemency. We 'ad a party an' I took advantage of her bein' drunk t'try to seduce her. An' I 'ave the feelin' gettin' 'er t'wear this dress will be right up there s'well," Jack explained.
Penny stared at him for a long moment before replying, "I meant what'd you do to get the Navy after you this time."
Jack lifted his brows in suprise and forced a charming smile, "...I made that up... Anythin' t'make ye laugh, Pen."
"Like hell you did," she smirked.
"...I'm ready... I think," Christina said quietly from behind them. She glared at Jack when he put his tongue in his cheek to hide a grin. Penny nodded, impressed.
"I'll get you the boots that go with it," she said, bending down to go through the pile of clothes again.
"...Very becoming," Jack commented boldly, putting his fingers to his lips.
"What are you wearing?" Christina spat.
"I've got a black suit and a dog collar," Penny said.
"A vicar and a tart. How delightful," Christina grumbled, trying to tug down her skirt's high hem line and pull up her low neckline at the same time.
"Not so delightful as believable," Penny replied dryly.
"Second time in two days I've 'ad t'go by the name 'Father'," Jack sighed.
Christina looked at him pointedly as he reached for the black trousers, "You did this yesterday as well? When?"
"While I was waitin' fer ye t'get yer act together in the jail," Jack told her airily.
"It's a federal offense to impersonate a clerk of the Church of England," Christina informed him.
"Oh, no. Not a federal offense," Jack mocked.
Christina only rolled her eyes in response. They widened when Penny shoved two, long black leather stiletto boots into her stomach.
"Thanks," she muttered, carrying the weapon resembling footwear to the bed and sitting down in order to, with great difficulty, pull them on.
Within another half hour, Christina and Jack were walking down the street, arms linked. Jack looked rather foolish in the large, round black hat he had to wear to cover his hair. Christina would've laughed until she could no longer had she not felt so foolish herself. The two attracted many a disgusted stare and hushed whispers lingered in their wake.
"Where are we meeting the crew?" Christina asked Jack without moving her lips, smiling tightly at the elderly woman who stood with her jaw agape at seeing the priest and the whore so openly strutting down the street in the company of eachother.
Surely this had not been the simplest way to get to the docks.
"I'm hopin' they know t'go t'the Pearl," Jack muttered and Christina's eyes widened.
"You mean you don't have a plan?"
"I 'ave a plan, luv. It's just a very flexible one."
"Flexible as in if the crew aren't at the docks, we're finished," Christina filled in glumly.
"Well, I wouldn't put it in such depressin' terms but something like that, yes," Jack nodded, winking at a Navy officer who stared at them in puzzlement.
"Fantastic," Christina mumbled.
Soon, the disguised pair found themselves at the busy harbor. And as subtly as their outfits, they started searching for the crew. Behind crates. In the water. Underneath the docks. Inside barrels. All very likely places that one would find a person.
After a frantic twenty minutes of searching and turning up empty handed, Jack and Christina sighed in unison.
"'Spose we best go back t'the Pearl an' wait fer them there," Jack suggested and Christina nodded. The two walked past the number of other ships docked, including the Sapphire and travelled up the Pearl's gangplank, casting glances over their shoulder to be sure there were no red coats in sight.
Once in the middle of the deck, Jack and Christina leant against the mast to await the crew's arrival. They were incredibly suprised when the crew started to emerge from various places on the ship, having arrived before their strangely dressed Captain and his similarly clad lady.
"Where've ya been, Jack?" Ana Maria demanded, apparently too furious to chuckle at his get up like the rest of the crew.
"What d'ye mean? It's only nine o'clock," Jack replied.
"Aye, we've been 'ere all night, ye daft fool," Ana Maria spat, whacking him over the back of the head, knocking his hat off.
Jack scowled at her and rubbed his head, "Thought ye'd know better an' hide out fer the night. Sorry fer the inconvenience."
Will and Elizabeth arrived up the gangplank hurriedly, stopping to stare at Jack and Christina.
"Chris... you look...," Will started.
"Different," Elizabeth finished diplomatically. Christina frowned at them.
"Nice suit," Will told Jack who dusted off his collar airily.
"Let's go," Ana Maria commanded, attracting a more fiecesome scowl from Jack. The crew jumped into action, Gibbs leading some of them to the Sapphire.
"You ain't the Captain, woman," Jack growled at Ana Maria who paid no heed, only stalked to the helm.
"Bloody pirates," Jack muttered as the Pearl heaved into motion.
End of chapter 17. Already. Three more chapters an' I'll be in me twenties... I feel so old... Alright, 'ere's a notice: I would greatly appreciate ideas at this point 'cause I'm at a loss (unbelievable, right?). I'm not sayin' that I can definately use yer ideas 'cause that would make it into a 'choose yer own adventure' sort o' thing an' that's against the rules. I play by the rules. So, if ye have any comments t'make that could help me out, I would be very much so obliged. Two guidelines: No one is turning gay. No animals are goin' ta start talkin' 'cept fer Mr Cotton's parrot. Savvy?
LadyLoannuniel: Mandy, Mandy Mandy. 'Nyone can write. I don't think ye'd find it a waste of time if ye tried. An' I'm glad ye likin' me tale. Sorry it took a while t'update ye, luv.
TheSiriusSparrow: Ah! There she is! Ye've been gone quite the while, luv. But it's alright 'cause ye reviewed the chapters ye'd missed. So ye still in me good books. Lucky. Aye, Spanish homework would be a drag. An' it's gettin' in the way of yer readin'! Bloody Spanish teachers. I've taken t'callin' everyone 'bloody'. An excellent form of insulting as it requires very little brainwork. An' ye've only got chapters 16 an' 17 t'go, lass. Well done!
Rurouni Kai: One of the best potc fanfics ye've read? I am flattered, luv. Feelin' rather overconfident, really. Aye, Jack as a father was good fun so I couldn't resist doin' it in this chapter too. Question: when people leave their emails endin' with , does it mean Been meanin' t'ask fer a while. Blame it on the fact that I'm Australian an' clueless when it comes t'these things. An' I'll look forward t'readin' yer story when it's up. Cheers!
angedemusica: I'm very glad ye love it, luv. An' the chills down yer spine thing made me head even more needlessly bigger. I 'ave never read the book Wicked but I shall review yer fanfic 'nyway, 'cause I can. Sorry it took a whiles t'update. I had work t'do. Bloody work. Hopefully yer cravings will be satisfied fer a little while, eh?
MeanGirl: Glad ye liked chapter 15, luv. Amusin' is what I'm aimin' fer so thankye kindly. An' I shall update 'til ye all are screamin' obscenities fer me t'leave the site alone fer once. As fer seperatin' Jack an' Chris, I'm in a good mood, so I'll say they'll be fightin' an' bickerin' forever. Thanks fer the review.
Ailuro: Well, 'ello, luv. Excitin' t'hear about yer trip. Las' year, I went t' Rome, Venice and Florence an' a few other places in Europe. Bloody fantastic stuff. An' I went t' Las Vegas an' LA. Disneyland is good fun. May 1, eh? That ain't too long, is it? Are ye livin' in Europe? I hope this chapter was to yer liking an' I'm lookin' forward t'me gifts! Ah, I can't wait, it's a pony, ain't it? I 'ave an instinct fer these things. I'd tip me hat if I 'ad one but I shall just say, farewell an' 'ave a lovely holiday.
Mariamber: Thankye, luv. I'm glad me characters (fine, DISNEY'S characters) are in character. That's always a good thing. Hope ye like this one too.
Whims: As I 'ave 'ad t'explain t'the more violent of ye several times before, blushingbeauty86 does not respond well t'threats. She gets crazy. Insane. Rather mad. So, unless it is a very amusin' threat (which yers are, might I say) leave the lass alone t'her writin'. Ha ha. I'm very flattered that ye check yer email t'see if I've written. An' I'm pleased that it's one of the best that yer readin'. An' I'm pretty sure that it was you who asked if I plan on writin' professionally. The answer is 'no'. I find writin' too stressful fer some reason. It's not therapeutic t'me at all imaginin' all the terrible review I might get. I plan t'make a career in music or somethin' else creative. Now that I've bored ye t'death with me, I'd be much obliged if ye reviewed an' told us what ye thought, luv. Thanks fer the review an' the interest in uninterestin' me!
Grittlebone: Smashin' name ye got yerself, luv. Original an' fresh me very chuffed. Nay, it takes too long t'write ev'ry chapter down an' then type it up. I usually type little bits at a time over a few days or so so that it don't become like a task. Where are ye up to, by the way? 'Cause ye might not read this fer a while yet. Cheers fer the review.
Karibbean: Aye, Mr Cotton's pirate is a cheeky 'lil bird. Jack don't like him too much. Glad ye found it funny, it was kind of an after thought that I added in as I was readin' over the chapter. Sorry it's takin' a while t'update!
Siriusly Sirius Lily Black: Aye, lass, I'd be a bit cautious with ye compliments t'the Capt'n. He seems a little keen on ye after the treatment he's received from the other women in this chapter. Aye, keep yer eye out, I would. Glad ye liked Jack in the collar. Was rather fun t'write too. So I couldn't resist doin' it again. An' Chris was not happy with her part in this update. Yer very welcome, luv. Cheers.
Forensic Photographer711: Aye, Jack gets out of these things too smoothly sometimes, me thinks. I 'ave t'bring that confession up again, sometime... another trick up me sleeve. But if it makes ye happy that Jack's out of trouble again, I'm glad. Thankye fer the review, luv.