Disclaimer: I do not claim or own any characters or anything else affiliated with Star Wars, Lucas Arts, etc. If something is similar to anyone else's story, it is coincidental as this was all thought out in my own head. My apologies to anyone who thinks otherwise.

This is my view of Revan and Malak before and during Revan's reign as Dark Lord, mostly in Revan's point of view. Reviews highly appreciated. Enjoy!

Note: Dreams, visions and thoughts are italicized.

-In "A Warped Thought Process", I was trying to make it look as if she was severely depressed over her loss and how it caused her to nearly lose her mind and begin thinking the way she does, thus starting her fall to the darkside.

Just wanted to point that out. Enjoy!

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Revan's Apartment on Coruscant 1 month later

"A Warped Thought Process"

I sat on the luxurious sofa, in my bathrobe and slippers, eating "Vin and Kerri's" ice cream in front of the holovid, thinking about the past month, as always.

In fact, it was the only thing that I had been doing since I came home a month ago. Everything that I used to enjoy was of no interest to me anymore. Everything reminded me of what I had lost.

My loss. Now all my little boy is referred to is as 'my loss'. My baby has a name, a good name. Now the only evidence of that name is etched on a tombstone in the family plot on Deralia. Devante Milon Ayvarem, born and died all on the same day. People keep telling me how they felt my loss, how they understand and that I should move on. How dare they try to project their false grievances on me. No one who has never lost a child should ever say they know how I feel. They don't know how I feel, they can't even come close. My son was more apart of me than I ever realized. So when he died, a piece of me died right along with him.

I left Deralia to get away from the memories that were created there. I almost didn't go to the funeral but Malak coaxed me into it. Once I came home, I slept. I slept for almost a week. But the depression didn't really take its toll on me until two days ago. I was moping through the apartment as usual when something made me go to the 5th bedroom. Opening that door nearly caused me to lose my mind. Seeing the nursery full of pleakwood furniture, so well thought out…so full of love…yet so empty. I walked over to touch each and every piece of furniture and when I got to the crib, I snapped. I was about to perform a coup de grace on the crib with my lightsaber when Malak came by just in time to intervene. My family wanted to send me to therapy, but I refused to go. A shrink can't fix my problem. No one can.

I thought about how my life managed to unravel so quickly. One little thought would always creep into my mind. Revenge. Yes, revenge would be nice. But how do you kill someone who doesn't exist? Another little thought crept into my mind. The Star Forge. Yes, yes that's it. She foresaw her own end…my end. But I'm not her. I would never do what she did to me. She obviously wants to live, but I want her to die. How to make her die? Betrayal by the one who is dear…ahh..yes…Malak. He will be useful after all.

These are not very Jedi-like thoughts. But I'm not a Jedi anymore. Besides, they refused to help in the war…a war that I fought in and help to win because they wouldn't…winning required complete control of the fleet….the fleet meant years in lonely space….lonely space with Malak meant instant baby….baby meant agony for me now. So yes, the Jedi are responsible. They are all responsible, must make them pay. Must make them all pay.

Find the Star Forge, return to get a big ship and a crew. Not just any ship, but a..a First Class Interdictor Ship. Whose ship? Hmm…Saul…Admiral Saul Karath and The Leviathan. Offer Saul a bargain he can't refuse with me. But if he's High Admiral now he won't do it. No he's not…they gave the job to the idiot…Lustrul Grena'at. Oh yes…this will work perfectly. The galaxy has wronged the wrong woman…now it's time to pay.

I looked down at my ice cream, tonight's flavor 'Cherry Garcia'. No more moping, no more ice cream, no more wallowing in self pity. Tonight, I will focus on a new agenda. It is time to move on..on to revenge.