7:30pm Have read Bridget Jones' Diary. vg. Have decided to become magnificent writer like the author. Have forgotten her name but irrelevant to point anyway. Point is that I shall spend all my time from now on important things. Not TV. Not reading tabloids. No more. Only important things will take up my time.

11:46pm Oh God. Do not know why let self think that could become magnificent writer. Pointless to try. Do not even own Bridget Jones' Diary anyway.

1:04am Am truly pathetic.

It was not everyday that Jack was threatened by a woman with a gun.

The first time had been when he was rather young. Fifteen, he recalled. He had been caught red-handed ridding her clothesline of her family's clothing. All for a good cause, of course. It had just been so long ago now that he could not remember the reason.

But it had been a good one.

Anyway, the lass, probably a few years older than himself had come out of the house unexpectedly, shouting angry obscenities and aiming a rifle at his head. She had come so close that the end of the barrel rubbed against his nose.

"Wha' the hell do y'think y'doin', boy?" she demanded sharply.

Jack chucked her a disarmingly charming grin and replied, "Me civil duties, luv. Very important an' highly secretive. So, if ye'll excuse me..." And he continued collecting shirts, pants, skirts and other various particles of clothing.

"Oi! Y'can't jus' take those, y'git!" the girl cried, a little caught off guard by his confidence in the contrary.

"Oh, I assure ye, I can. Be out o' yer way in but a few minutes," Jack informed her.

Somehow, within a few minutes as he had told her, he left with a laundry bag (kindly donated by the gun toting girl) full of clothes and went on his way to carry out the elaborate plan that had called for them.

When he was twenty-six, he had had the misfortune of being held up by a whore. As he was pulling on his attire, he had heard the clicking of a revolver being cocked. Feigning disinterest, he turned to find the lass pointing the weapon between his eyes.

"Wasn' really that bad, was it, luv?" he smirked.

"To the contrary, it was rather lacking. Give me yer valuables," the woman demanded.

"If it was in fact so lacking, why did ye not pull this stunt beforehand or even during?" Jack countered, making no action to indulge her request as he rebuttoned his shirt casually.

"'Cause tha' woul' be cruel. I ain't cruel. Hand over yer pouch. An' tha' pocket watch. An' those rings... Christ, an' any other bleedin' jewelry yer wearin'," she shook her gun impatiently at him.

With a long sigh, Jack rolled his eyes and obliged. He gave her what she asked for, appearing more calm and collected than he felt. Satisfied that she had cleaned him out, the woman left in a rush. Luckily for him, Jack had always made a habit of keeping spare coins in his boots in the case he should ever need it. True, this was the first time and the only time since that he had in fact needed it but he still decided the habit wise. He had enough to get himself to the next town and gather a crew.

He shuddered at the thought. The same crew that had marooned him on the island that he now stood on, being threatened yet again by another unstable female with a firearm. Jack figured that because his previous incidents of the same sort had not cost him his life, this one should not either. He gave a dashing smile in the blonde woman's direction, still holding his hands up in an unthreatening manner.

"Pretty gun ye got yerself, there, lass," he commented of the specially crafted, chrome plated ornate revolver she clasped. He noted that a cutlass also hang from her belt. A female pirate. Always an amusing sort.

"Thanks," she spat.

"Yer sure ye know how t'handle one of those, luv?" Jack checked as unpatronisingly as he could.

He wasn't very successful, made obvious by the woman's sour glare, "I know how to handle a gun, thankyou." She motioned towards the Pearl with a shrug of her shoulders, "That's the Black Pearl. Where's the Captain?"

Jack looked around, smiling and nodding pleasantly at everyone else before proudly stepping forward, "Tha' would be me."

The blonde woman narrowed her electric blue eyes disbelievingly, "You're Captain Jack Sparrow?"

Jack flicked the air in an attempted flair of humility, "The one an' only."

"But you're short," the woman frowned, lowering her gun a fraction in suprise. Jack's eyes widened with offense.

"I'm sorry?"

The woman offered an apologetic smile, "Just expected you to be bigger, s'all."

Jack turned to glare at Elizabeth and Christina whom he could hear snickering softly. Christina bit her lip and Elizabeth averted her eyes to with hold their laughter.

Jack turned back to the intruder defiantly, "An' what business d'ye have on me island anyway?"

She lifted her brows in suprise, "Your island? I'm sorry, Sparrow, but this is my island."

Choosing not to correct her lack of referring to him by his title as she did, after all, hold a gun, Jack pfted, "Yer suggestin' that I do not own an island named 'Sparrow's Isle'? Who named it that then, I wonder?"

"If you do own an island named after yourself, it ain't this one. This island is 'Paraíso del Cobre'. I know. I named it myself," she retorted airily.

Jack's eyes widened, "Cobre, ye say?"

The blonde woman's brows lowered, "Aye. What's it t'ye?"

"Cobre as in Copper as in Captain Violet Copper of the Fire Song?" Jack elaborated, for some reason intrigued.

She cocked her head in suprise, "Aye."

"Wha' the hell are ye doin' 'ere, lass? Where's yer ship?" Jack asked incredulously. The rest of the crew looked on blankly, having never heard the name of the woman nor the ship.

"I don't know," she spat bitterly of the location of her ship, "Me crew left me 'ere a few days ago. Overturned by me first mate. A man," she added venomously.

Jack's eyes widened further, "They marooned you?"

Still keeping her gun up, the woman nodded angrily. Jack glanced at it and smirked.

"So were yer plannin' on commandeerin' me ship then, eh?"

She blushed slightly and slowly lowered the gun, "Sorry."

A collective sigh of relief was heard behind Jack from the crew, making him conscious of them once again. He turned and gestured at them, "That's me crew. Men, this is Violet."

Christina, Elizabeth and Ana Maria rolled their eyes at their femininity being forgotten by the pirate.

Jack remained oblivious to this and turned back to Violet, "Ye hungry, luv?"

Fifteen minutes or so later, food and water had been fetched from the Pearl and Violet was eating hungrily by the fire. The crew flocked around her curiously, asking the woman random questions. Christina noted all too many leery sideways grins exchanged by the men, all drawn to Violet who, although a little messy and dirty from being on the deserted island for days, was still classically beautiful with her sun kissed blonde hair, laughing blue eyes and toned, curvy form.

Elizabeth, Ana Maria and Christina watched, chins resting on their hands, from the other side of the fire.

"Pathetic, isn't it? How a pretty girl can make men into babbling fools?" Elizabeth sighed, eyeing Will who laughed with Violet about something Jack was saying.

"These lot were already babblin' fools, lass. The pretty girl 'as jus' made it all the more clearer to onlookers," Ana Maria corrected her. Elizabeth and Christina nodded in agreement.

"She not even really that pretty...really," Christina commented, trying to find an imperfection on the perfect topic of conversation.

"Aye. She's too... well, there's tha' thing near 'er mouth," Ana Maria pointed out.

"No, that was a bit of food. Jack's getting it for her now," Elizabeth said.

Christina perked up at this. She looked across to see Jack reach out a hand and gently brush the food from Violet's face. Violet smiled and ducked her head in thanks. Christina scowled.

"Something wrong, Chris?" Elizabeth asked with a knowing smirk tugging at her lips.

"No," Christina spat.

Ana Maria shot Elizabeth a questioning look.

"Chris and Jack kissed at the party," Elizabeth explained.

"Liz!" Christina cried, pinching her cousin's arm hard. Elizabeth yelped and rubbed her arm protectively while Ana Maria now smiled.

"So ye like, Jack?" she asked.

"No!" Christina spluttered. Elizabeth and Ana Maria nodded in mock agreement. Christina rolled her eyes.

"I'm going to bed," she informed them haughtily.

"Wuss," Elizabeth accused as she left.

"Jack, I want to go back to the Pearl," Christina informed the laughing Captain. Jack and Violet looked up at her from where they sat on the sand.

"Violet, this's Christina. She's Gov'nor Swann's niece. Christina, Violet," Jack introduced politely, his words merging together as he slurred. Christina offered a tight forced smile at Violet and looked at Jack expectantly.

He looked expectantly back at her, "The boat's jus' over there, luv." He pointed at the row boat a few dozen feet away on the shore. Christina stared at him incredulously.

"Jack, I can't get there by myself. The boat had to get back here for the rest of you," Christina reminded him impatiently.

"Oh, quite right. I'nt she a clever lass?" Jack smiled at Violet and Christina bit back the urge to smack him over the head... Over and over again. Jack jumped to his feet, a little to quickly, and grabbed Christina's arm to keep him from tumbling back to the ground. Once he had righted himself, he looked around this way and that, the beads in his hair clattering with the movement.

"Gibbs!" he called.

Mr Gibbs ambled over, flask in hand. He grinned at Violet before answering, "Aye, Cap'n?"

"Escort Christina back t'the Pearl," Jack commanded. Christina frowned at him.

"Aye, Cap'n," Gibbs agreed.

"Be sure to keep Violet company," Christina told Jack sarcastically.

He lifted a finger and tapped the side of his nose, "But, o' course."

Christina turned on her heel and followed after Mr Gibbs. Trust Jack to think that she had shared with him his less than honorable insinuation. What made him even think he should share it with her? She scowled all the way back to the Pearl, the whole time it took for Mr Gibbs to raise the boat and all of her walk down the stairs and hall to the Captain's Cabin.

Grumbling, she changed back into her night shirt and climbed into bed. Before she fell asleep, she decided that Violet was not well liked in her books.

XxXxX

xXxXx

It was late in the afternoon before Christina was alive to the world again. And she was less than pleased to find that she had been sharing her bed with someone else.

"Jack!"

The pirate showed no sign of hearing her, deep in his slumber.

"Jack, you bloody pirate!" Christina spat, elbowing him hard in the ribs. As if from a centuries long, pleasant nap, Jack gradually awoke. He grinned at Christina's glare.

"'Afternoon, luv."

"What are you doing in my bed?"

"Violet took mine."

"Violet's on the Pearl?" Christina hissed. Sleeping had done no good. The woman was still around.

"Aye. Wha' ye'd rather we 'ad left 'er on the island?" Jack smirked, still making no move to get out of her bed. Christina resisted the urge to nod violently and just gave him a pointed look.

"Ye don' even know the lass an' ye'd prefer her dyin' on a deserted island. Explain t'me how that works," Jack said dryly.

Christina refused to answer. Although she had nothing to say anyway. She looked out of the small window on the wall opposite her and frowned at seeing that the clouds were moving by at an unusually fast rate.

"We're moving."

"Aye."

"Where are we going?"

"T'get Violet's ship back."

Christina turned to him abruptly, "What?"

"What can I say? I've got a charitable heart," Jack smiled crookedly.

"Do you even know where her crew is?" Christina asked.

"She thinks they may 'ave gone t'London," Jack shrugged.

"She thinks? Fantastic," Christina muttered.

The door opened quietly and Violet appeared timidly, "Sorry, but where's the kitchen?"

Jack, immediately attentive, sat up grinning, "'An why would ye want t'know somethin' like that, luv?"

"Well, I was planning on getting myself some lunch, if that's alright," Violet replied smilingly.

"Is that so? I think it woul' be less than gentlemanly t'let a lady get herself some lunch on me own ship," Jack informed her. Christina lifted her brows in suprise. This was a new establishment that she hadn't had the pleasure of taking advantage of.

"I assure you I can get it myself," Violet insisted coyly.

Christina resisted the urge to curl her lips in distaste at the annoyingly innocent exchange that the two found so amusing.

"I'll be 'avin' none of that, lass. Let's get yer some food, aye?" Jack swung out of bed and reached for his hat before leaving the room.

He stuck his head back around the door and asked nonchalantly, "Did ye want anything, Christina?"

Christina shook her head numbly and Jack left.

Chapter 20. I'm feelin' rather old. An' I know tha' there will be some abuse t'come after this chapter bu' don' say I didn' give ye all a chance t'give me ideas. This is wha' happens, people. An' by the way, the odd note up the top was a bizarre way of recommendin' ye read Bridget Jones' Diary. Hilarious stuff.

Ailuro: Luv, I am gettin' the distinct feelin' tha' ye don't read these replies at the bottom of me chapters. I did give ye me email in the las' one. Anyways, I shall send yer an email, jus' t'check tha' I got the right address an' all. I am 99.9999 sure tha' they would've had mental health professionals in the 1700s. 'Twas not the stone age, after all. I be very eager t'hear yer ideas. I 'ave a few flimsy ones tha' I could pull through with but I would much like somethin' stable an' clever. After I 'ave posted this, I am goin' ta email ye. If ye don't get it, I'm daft an' sent it to some other soul.

Siriusly Sirius Lily Black: Hello, luv. Ye lost me a bit after the moon an' such but still, I think I got most of it! Aye, Jack is glad tha' ye see the error in ye wantin' 'im ta take 'em all ta Paris. He's settled down a bit now. Was quite irrate. An' he agrees 'bout Sparrow's Ilse. Though he is less than thrilled 'bout this Violet lass layin' claim to it. No matter how attractive she be.

ChaosLightning13: Aye, all wonderin'. 'Tis good fun, 'avin' yer readers wonderin'. I think they all went silent because the wonderin' be so intense tha' they lost their tongues fer the moment... Killer Kangaroos, aye? Ain't seen one o' those yet. Sound dangerous so I hope I sha'nt.

Forensic Photographer711: Think I'm still gettin' out o' tha' hole now, luv? Ha. I think I shall be expectin' the death threats ta come rollin' in as soon as I post this! Glad ye liked the grammar thing. I'm a bit of a perfectionist when it comes t'things like tha' so I was really correctin' me own typin'. Don' tell anyone.