Author's Note:
Hello, all! Zazie of DOOM here! I have finally decided to write a story, after reading everyone's for the past...oh six months! Anyways...a bit about my story. This is going to be an action/adventure/romance/comedy thingy. Most of it will be light-hearted, so don't get ready for anything too serious BUT this chapter isn't really comedic. It's rather boring, so I won't be expecting many reviews. It's just the set up for the story. I couldn't just jump right into the story without explaining anything!

So...now I'm going to get on with the story! I hope you all enjoy it!

Thoughts will be expressed in 'thoughts'...

And I think that's it! On with the story!

Disclaimer: Trigun belongs to Yasuhiro Nightow, although I wish I owned Vash and Wolfwood And I don't think I'm the only one! Also, the songs that I use belong to their owners. This will be my only disclaimer...I think more than one is pointless, you all know that this disclaimer applies throughout the whole story!

A Job for The Stampede

"Vash The Stampede, I presume?"

A strange man dressed in a red trenchcoat was surrounded by another three men (Also strange looking. Isn't everyone?). Two of them seemed to be the labeled body guards, and the remaining man was beyond any doubt the leader. He was the one who spoke, dressed in all black, with boots matching to the figure they surrounded.

The supposed Vash The Stampede did not reply right away, and Jake, the one dubbed leader, was growing impatient.

'Is this man deaf?' Jake silently questioned himself. He debated whether or not to prod the man with the question for a second time. But before he had time to, the spikey haired man looked up at him.

"I think who I am", he paused, absently put on a half-hearted smile, and swiftly stood up. "Is none of your business". Then, he gave a wink to the three men, and silently pushed past the first two as to head towards the exit.

'Ahhah, trying to escape is he? I know who you are, fool.' Jake thought quietly. He knew this man couldn't get escape the accusation. The description was undeniably accurate; he had that huge ass gun, the red coat, he was a giant in height, and if he weren't Vash The Stampede, why did he leave in such a hurry? So, he processed the man's movements quickly, and took a swift move by limping to the exit to block "Vash's" way.

Jake almost retreated back to his two protectors, for the size difference between the facing men was great. There was at least a half a foot from the top of Jake's head to the man's chin. He knew he was exaggerating, but good golly, he was tall! Alack, he continued to stand his ground and lifted his head up to look the man in the eye.

"Please, sir. I'm not going to turn you in for the bounty. I just have a sort of...job I would wish for you to do." Jake pleaded.

Vash grimaced as he stared upon this small man; pleading for some errand he wanted him to run. 'A waste of time, probably' he thought.

"Who said I had a bounty on my head?" the man questioned, as he cocked his head to the side.

"Now come on, buddy! Don't try and hide it!" Jake slightly leaned in towards the man, and lowered his voice by a few notches as he said, "I know who you are, I'm not stupid, Vash The Stampede."

"You're not as stupid as you seem by the way of your looks" the man in red replied, with a grin plastered against his face. "Let's just say that I know him and leave it at that".

'If he wants to play mind-games, fine! Let him have his fun' Jake silently cursed.

Vash noted the "I'm-really-pissed-off-at-you-because-I'm-in-a- rush" face Jake had obviously worn and snickered. Should he toy around a bit longer, or just give in? Ah, the hell with it, let's be nice for once. "Alright, mister; since you seem so upset, I'll give you a free one this time." The man paused for a second, regained his composure, and continued. "I USED to be called Vash The Stampede by some people...but to everyone now, I'm just Vash. Nothing more, nothing less. Just Vash, please."

"Great! Perfect! I knew I couldn't be wrong!" Jake replied gleefully as he grabbed Vash's hand. "Jake Smith, pleasure meeting you!"

"Likewise..." Vash murmured.

"What was that?"

"Oh, nothing! Just talking to myself." Vash put on a lopsided grin.

Silence settled between the two men as Jake grinned like an idiot, and Vash stood there nervously.

"So..." Vash ventured, after the handshake. "What is this 'job' you mentioned earlier?"

"Ahhh...yes. I was going to get to that!" Jake gave out a hoarse chuckle, only to stop abruptly when he noticed Vash had not thought it was funny. And what kind of impression is it to laugh at your own joke? He needed to get this Vash the Stampede, sorry, Vash, fellow to like him enough to agree to the job. Although, he probably didn't even need to get on his good side; As the rumor goes, he enjoys genocide and the like. How simple this will be.

"I think it was three years ago..." Jake started. "I was at this one bar in December. I was there on a business trip." He suddenly became absorbed in the moment; remembering the stench the bar held, the foggy smoke, clouding the edges of his vision, the foul taste of the mixed alcohols, swimming on his taste buds, and the one thing that caught his attention most. "There weren't too many people in there." He continued "Just me and well, some party of people is all that I can remember, and all that matters, at that. Anyways, it seemed as if they worked together; they were all wearing similar-looking uniforms. It was a couple of guys and a couple of girls. And there was this one girl...I found her beautiful. Maybe it was because I was drunk, but I felt that she was the most beautiful woman that had ever graced this sandy planet. I guess I was really wasted that night. I know the girl couldn't have been that gorgeous, but if my memory depicts me correctly, she wasn't ugly in the least bit. Anyways... as I said before, I was drunk. Really drunk. So I thought maybe this lady'd say yes if I asked her on a date. Bad idea. Instead of discreetly saying 'no' she smashed her glass over my head! I'm lucky I didn't get a shard of glass imbedded in my brain. That damn woman was crazy."

"Did you touch her in any way?" Vash interrupted.

Jake thought a moment. "I'm... not quite sure." he gave a shy grin. Vash gave a sweatdrop.

"Alright, go on"

"So, after I was so brutally abused, I staggered back to my table, and ordered another drink to help drown away the headache that "coincidentally" had surfaced. It wasn't more than an hour later, when I noticed her walking out the door by herself. Naturally, if I weren't drunk, I wouldn't have given my idea any action, but whaddya know, I was plastered out of my mind. So... I followed her out. She obviously noticed me right away. She sprinted down that street real fast. Even through all my drunkenness, I was determined to catch her, and although I tripped a few times, I caught up after a while. Except" He sighed, then continued. "She had these little guns, and she shot up my leg. It must've gotten one of my nerves, 'cause I can't feel this leg anaymore" Jake finished as he gestured towards his leg.

'So THAT'S why he limps' Vash concluded, oh-so-geniusly. But there was a more important matter to think about."So what do you want me to do for you? Go out and kill her?" Vash questioned.

Jake chuckled. 'He sounded upset at the idea of killing. Maybe I do have the wrong man!' He recovered, and opened his mouth to speak. "You could do that. Either that, or bring her back to me. She deserves death because I can't do anything anymore! When I came back from December, I was fired from my job because I couldn't travel anymore. Everything went downhill from there. I became an alcoholic and that led to me being abusive to my family and they all left-"

Vash cut him off the wave of his hand "I'm sorry, Mister, but that's your own fault. I won't do it." Annoyance was clearly edged on his voice.

Jake paused. "Excuse me?" He asked. He must have heard wrong. Yes, that's it - He simply misunderstood.

"I told you, I'm not gonna do it."

"B-but you're Vash The Stampede! You're said to enjoy blood! Why can't you do this one job!" Jake was obviously at a loss.

"Your sources prove you wrong, sir. I hate blood, just the very sight of it makes me sick. As for enjoying it, maybe in another lifetime, but not this one." Vash replied, as he took a step towards the door.

'He's for real! He's actually turning down my offer? Unbelievable!' Jake was stunned, to say the least. He had to get him to take the job! "I'll give you any amount of money! How about $$500,000? That sounds fair!"

"I'm sorry, sir. I won't take the money offer". Vash paused for a second. Something was itching at him, and he didn't know what. And then, out of nowhere he asked a question he didn't mean to voice. "What was the girl's name?"

"Her name? It took a while, but I found out her name's Meryl Stryfe. She works for the Bernardelli Insurance agency in December..."

A flash of recognition shot through Vash's aqua eyes. "Really, Meryl Stryfe?" He asked. 'Do it, do it, do it! If only to go see her, do it!' half of him urged. Oh, to hell with it! "You caught me at a good time" Vash grinned, "I'll do it."

Jake's eyes shot open. "You will! Oh! This is great! How soon can you leave?" Jake's excitement went beyond words. Indeed, everything had gone downhill since he lost his job...

"Tomorrow morning, is that good?"

"Perfect! Just perfect! Oh, and take your time with her! Don't rush at all. The suspense'll be good for her. Stress her out and scare her. Ahhh, this is great, thank you! I'll make sure to have the money for you once you get back! Oh this is wonderful! Thank you!" Jake sputtered out.

"No problem" Vash hastily threw back at him, as he headed out the door, back to his hotel.

'This is all too good' Jake thought, 'But he seems to know this Meryl Stryfe. What in the world could he have against her enough to kill her? Right after he said he hated blood, too. What a strange man'.

Jake watched Vash enter the hotel across the street, and admired his silver colt for the first time.

Oh yes, he would get his revenge. After all, Vash The Stampede was on his side.

Another AN: Okay peeps, edited first chapter, woooo! I made it smoother, made Jake more of a retard... I think. I dunno. I've always thought his idea was stupid, but ah well! I needed him to set up this up so our favorite little couple could get some wonk chika wonk in::cough: I mean happy fun car trip time! . . Hope it flows a bit better, and thanks to all for reading!