Ok. Does every1 kno that movie that came out a while ago called "the boogeyman"? well this is the inuyasha version. . this is probably really gonna suck. But it will be funny! w/e. enjoy! .

Disclaimer: I do not own inuyasha or anyone in the show. Consider this a permanent disclaimer.

"The Mobility Challenged Boogeyman"

A long time ago in the feudal era there lived a half demon named Inuyasha and his girlfriend Kikyo.

"KIKYO! Come quick! Hurry, before it's too late!" yelled Inuyasha.

"What is it Inuyasha? I don't need to do it again do I?" replied Kikyo.

" You have to! You promised, so you have to!" said Inuyasha.

"FINE! Jesus Inuyasha. Can't you do anything by yourself?" asked Kikyo.

"HMPH! Just hurry up and let's get this over with. You ready?" asked Inuyasha.

"Yeah, fine. Okay, nothing under the bed, nothing hiding in your bathroom, and nothing in the closet. You happy now?" replied Kikyo.

"Yeah. I guess there's no boogeyman in my room after all. Thanks Kikyo. You're the bes…. bes….best…. t….t…..t…..t………..AGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!" screamed Inuyasha.

"What is it InuyashaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! screamed Kikyo as she was sucked by Inuyasha's closet.

"NOOOOOOOOO! Why closet! Why!" asked Inuyasha.

"I am not your closet Inuyasha. I am the portal named Miroku, which the boogeyman uses to transport people to his cave." replied the magic portal named Miroku.

"AHHHHHHHH! Pervert! slap" yelled Kikyo from within the depths of the portal named Miroku.

"What the fuck!" screamed Inuyasha.

"I also have a disorder known as 'severe pervertedness'" replied Miroku wisely.

"Why you little sonofabitch!" yelled Inuyasha.

"Uh-oh. Well Inuyasha, it is time that we part. Farewell." replied a very frightened portal.

"Dammit" cursed Inuyasha.

500 YEARS L8ER……………….

A short while ago in the modern times there lived the same half demon named Inuyasha and his new girlfriend Kagome.

"Hey Kagome. You want to go a random motel so you can take a bath where I'm about to join but you get sucked into the depths of he perverted portal?" asked Inuyasha.

"Oh Inuyasha, you have got to stop imagining things, geez, the boogeyman doesn't exist." replied Kagome.

"Yes it does it kidnapped my old girlfriend Kikyo. You could never possibly understand." sighed Inuyasha.

"Oh Jesus." said Kagome.

2 HOURS L8ER AT SOME RANDOM MOTEL

"Hey Inuyasha! Why don't you come in here and join me in a nice, warm, sexy bath?" asked Kagome in a breathy voice.

"Coming……" replied Inuyasha in his best husky voice impersonation.

"Well, hello there handsome" said Kagome as Inuyasha entered the bathroom.

"Kagome you little devil you." giggled Inuyasha as he got closer to the bathtub.

"HehehehaAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH" screamed Kagome as she, just as Inuyasha's previous girlfriend, got sucked into the bathtub.

"Noooooooooooooooooo! Miroku is that you? STOP SUCKING UP MY GIRLFRIENDS YOU BASTARD!" yelled Inuyasha while desperately trying to save Kagome but failing miserably.

"AHHHHHHH! PERVERT! slap" yelled Kagome from within the portal named Miroku.

"DAMMIT! It is you Miroku isn't it!" screamed Inuyasha.

"Yes, it is I Inuyasha. Long time no see, ne?" asked Miroku wisely.

"IMMA GONNA KICK YO STUPID PORTAL ASS!" screamed Inuyasha, anger overriding his system.

"Now, now. No need to get violent. One day we will meet again Inuyasha. And sooner than you think. Until then, I will keep sucking up your loved ones and friends, until you get the courage to come face to face with my master. Goodbye, Inuyasha." said Miroku as he retreated back into the closet.

"Come back here and fight me like a portal! Damn, he escaped my grasp again. And what does he mean by 'courage to face his master' ? I've got plenty of courage! Hell yeah."

A COUPLE OF RANDOM DAYS L8ER

"I have come to the old man's house. He is the only other person that knows about the boogeyman" said Inuyasha as he headed to the old man's house.

knock, knock

"Hello? Anyone there? Old man? Heeeeellllloooooooooooo?" yelled Inuyasha.

"I'M NOT AN OLD MAN!" came a strange old woman's voice from deep within the house.

"You're not? Oh. My bad!" apologized Inuyasha.

"No, I am not. My name is Kaede. Now, why are ye here Inuyasha?" asked the old woman named Kaede.

"Woah. How'd you know my name?" asked Inuyasha incredulously.

"I know everything grasshopper." replied Kaede wisely.

"Cool. Hey, why do you have all these pictures of kids on your walls? And that chair with chains on it. And a closet right in front of it? OH MY GOD! Are you a CHILD MOLESTER? Ewwwwwwwwww! Gross!" squealed Inuyasha.

"No stupid. Ye kids are the ones that were taken by ye boogeyman. The only time they were ever molested was when they were sucked in by the perverted portal. DUH!" said Kaede.

"Oh. That explains it. Then who's that little girl that led me to the house. She knows about the boogeyman too!" yelled Inuyasha anxiously.

"sigh Ye have a serious problem with genders. The person ye thought was a little girl is actually a little boy. He is my adopted son Shippo. He is a fox demon. But he is not really there." replied Kaede.

"What the hell?" questioned Inuyasha.

"He is just in our imaginations. He too was taken by the boogeyman." answered Kaede.

"Oh." replied Inuyasha dumbly. "Then why did he lead me here?

"Because I need to tell ye my story. After my adopted son Shippo got taken by the boogeyman, I made a vow that I would face the boogeyman. But I failed, I did not have enough courage. But ye do Inuyasha. Ye do. Ye must face the evil the boogeyman has created. Ye must stand up to him, to conquer him! Or face the consequences and get sucked by the perverted portal. Good luck, good bye. Get out of my house. Hurry! The boogeyman is approaching. He is approaching quickly! Ye must run." yelled Kaede hurriedly.

"Lady, you're crazy. The boogeyman ain't coming. You're probably just having a heart attack or something stupid that old people get when they become old. Geez." said Inuyasha.

ANOTHER COUPLE OF RANDOM DAYS L8ER

"Ok. I will now face the boogeyman. I have gathered all the things that remind me of my childhood when my first girlfriend got sucked in by that evil PERVERTED portal. Including my old girlfriend's clothes and the remains of her arm, which were a result of me trying to save her, my demon slayer action figure, Sango, her loyally faithful two tail cat, Kirara, these weird things I hung on my ceiling as a child, which surprisingly resembles my recently deceased uncle Naraku." said Inuyasha to himself as he chained himself down to a chair, like the one at Keade's house, surrounded by all of his 'childhood' crap.

"Ok. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm readyyyyyyyyyyy! Hell yea!" yelled out Inuyasha.

All of a sudden the room began to shake getting more and more violent by the second. It felt like an earthquake but worse and weirder, and perverted for some strange reason. And then the closet door OPENED!

500 YEARS IN THE PAST

"KIKYO! I must be back in the past!

½ AN HOUR L8ER

"Wait a minute! Was I supposed to save Kikyo? Oh dammit! Oh well. She was dead anyways. But still, I kind of feel bad. I mean I had a chance to save her but I didn't. Woah! That was way too deep for even myself." replied Inuyasha while being transported to another time.

500 YEARS L8ER

"I understand what my purpose is now! I must save all those that I lost to the boogeyman. Hmmmmmmm… it seems that is has come time to save my new girlfriend now for I am back at the hotel where we were supposed to do naughty things till the meanie boogeyman interrupted. NO! Kagome! I'll save you!" yelled Inuyasha as he began to try and save his new girlfriend from he evil grasp of the perverted portal.

"YES! I managed to save her! Mostly. I hope she doesn't mind the loss of an arm or two. Oh well!" sighed Inuyasha.

"Gee thanks Inuyasha. You saved me! But I'm missing an arm, and a leg! Gee, thaaaaanks a loooot!" said Kagome sarcastically.

"Hey, no prob!" answered Inuyasha while once again being transported back to his present situation strapped to a chair in front of his closet with his 'childhood' crap.

"Inuyasha! What did you do? Made such a mess too!" yelled Kagome angrily.

"Shhhhhh. Something's happening. Sit down, before the room shakes violently again." replied Inuyasha.

All of a sudden (A/N: wowie I use that beginning a lot) the room began to shake violently, and the atmosphere once again contained a strange pervertedness. Then out of nowhere the boogeyman……………… floated out of the closet?

"THE BOOGEYMAN!" yelled Inuyasha and Kagome combined.

"INUYASHA!"

"KAGOME!"

"INUYASHA!"

KAGOME!"

INUYASHA!"

KAGOME!"

"SHUT UP!" yelled the boogeyman.

"Hey, why are you floating? And shouldn't' you be attacking us? What do you want Boogeyman!" asked Inuyasha in a desperate attempt to save his sorry ass plus his new girlfriend.

"What the hell are you talking about? I'm not the boogeyman. There's no such thing as the boogeyman!" replied the……..um…….. almost boogeyman?

"HUH!" questioned Inuyasha and Kagome simultaneously.

"I am THE MOBILITY CHALLENGED BOOGEYMAN. But you can call me Onigumo. I was your recently deceased uncle Naraku's father. And I am floating because I cannot move, in other words I am paralyzed, thus originates my famous name. I live in a cave" answered Onigumo wisely.

"Yes and I'm his trusty sidekick, the perverted portal, which leads to his secret cave!" said Miroku.

"WAH! You have got to be fucking kidding me! This sucks. You suck. I suck. All my girlfriends suck. The whole fucking stupid paralyzed, perverted world sucks!" yelled Inuyasha extremely angry.

"Yeah! What he said!" answered Kagome stupidly.

"Too bad! Deal with it!" yelled Onigumo angered that Inuyasha didn't worship him and his greatness. "Oh and by the way. I stole your old girlfriend! Soooooo blows raspberry See you later stupid ass hole!"

"Damn you! One day Onigumo! One day!" yelled Inuyasha.

"Whatever, let's just pretend you beat me and I'll never bother you again, OK? Get it? Got it? Good?" yelled Onigumo as he disappeared into the perverted hole. "AHHH! slap" screamed Onigumo from within the portal.

"Sorry. It's a disorder" replied Miroku.

THE END

If anyone else watched that movie, didn't anyone think that the boogeyman looked a lot like an African American Onigumo? Cause it did. And it was weird. Anyways, R&R! plz an' tenk u!