He wanted to bitch her out, wanted to scream at her, wanted to slap that stupid, life- is-just- fine- and- dandy grin off her face. He stopped himself, however. After all she couldn't help remembering him, guessing (correctly) who he was here to buy flowers for, and being happy for her friend. She just hadn't gotten the memo yet. He sighed.

"Look, Jennifer. You might want to sit down. Yeah, I'm here buying flowers for Kate." God just saying that made his eyes sting."But, it's not what you think. I'm buying them for Kate's grave." Those words don't belong together his brain screamed at him.

"No." she murmured, as he turned away, trying to hide the tears that fell. Something about saying it just made it so final. "NO!" she exclaimed, louder this time."Was she tortured?" Just the thought made Tony ball his fists.

"No, Ari, the terrorist who killed her can thank god she wasn't" He seethed, the inferno with in him coming through in his words.

"H...How'd she d...die? She asked, not sure she wanted to know.

Tony willed his brain not to supply the image that went with his words. It did not obey. Seeing it all too clearly, Tony said slowly, "She'd just taken a bullet to the chest. I'd thought she was gone then. But, thank god she had a vest on. I'd helped her up and we were joking around. She'd started to say that she'd thought she'd have been dead before she heard Gibbs' tell me I was right. Next thing I know, she's down with a bullet to her forehead, her beautiful brown hair matted in blood. God damn it! Why the hell didn't I check the other buildings?..." and the inferno was back, and Jennifer had grabbed his wrist tostop him from throwing the arrangement he'd just boughten. He really needed Kate rightnow. She'd be able to joke him out of being so royally pissed. Of course, if Kate were here you wouldn't be so angry. his mind supplied the wry humor. "Thanks he said sheepishly.

"You going to put those on her grave right now?"

"Yeah"

"Tell her I said 'hi'"

He tried to smile, he really did. But all he could manage was a teary smirk. He sulked to his car, slamming the door once he was in. God, he needed Kate.

It was all Gibbs' fault. It had all been his idea. He was the reason Tony was sitting in his car, tears in his eyes, unable to do what he'd come to do. Seeing Jennifer had reminded that Kate should not have died. She had so many friends and family that were going to miss her terribly, he'd seen it at her funeral. Tony realized that he needed people walking by to realize how much she'd touched people. And so, with a certain determination, he got out of his car with the flowers and started towards the coldly beautiful graniate slab that was all that was left of the woman who should have been his best friend. Placing the roses on her grave, he fell to his knees. There was so much he wanted to say, needed to say. But what was to point? It wasn't like any of it was going to bring her back. But, for some reason, he wanted to say it.

"Kate, there's so much I want to say to you right now. But, I don't know how to tell you how much I miss you Kate. I miss everything about you. I miss, your smile, your laugh, you getting pissed at me for all to wise ass crab I've said to you. I hope you realize that I never meant any of it. You'll always hold my heart in your hand Kate. I'm truely sorry I didn't tell you that while you were alive. I realy am. But, I hope others will see that I love you, because I need people to know that you were loved." Tears threated as he placed a small envelope in the flowers, signed simply heart Tony.

A/N: Again, sorry I took so long. hopefully, I'll be quicker when exams are out. Hope you liked it and REVIEW. (please) Oh, and Brie, there's a butterfly behind you.