Oh, hey, that Toon Think asshole is back after a year... wait. Uh oh. That Toon Think asshole is back after a year. Yeah, hi again, Fanfiction. It has indeed been almost a year since I was last writing, and I've been taking a nice long break to wrap my head around things and recharge, but regardless, a brand new Splatoon game has come out to prematurely pull me right out of 'retirement'. I've mentioned before that I wanna do a Splatoon 3 story, and this isn't quite the way I wanted to do it, but I'm excited that this game is out and that I have a whole new part of the Splatoon world to goof off with. So, a couple things to clear up. After quite a bit of thought on how to do this, ultimately, the approach I've decided to take to this story is to return to the same format I used for New Squidbeak Splatoon Off Duty: A more comedic, light-hearted collection of one-shots focused on one cast of characters with an episodic style. So, don't expect a huge story with one main storyline here, this is mainly just for fun.

One thing I really should clear up is that instead of faithfully adapting every single drop of story and lore from Splatoon 3 to a T, I have instead decided to approach this as an alternate timeline from the actual game, so that it can instead fit in the same universe my other Splatoon stories are set in. It won't be too different from the game, but the main thing that this means is that I will be completely ignoring the storyline from Return of the Mammalians, at least for now, as readers of my other stories are probably aware that the NSS is up to other stuff right now. I'm only here to write about my own take on the Splatlands and the characters within for you to read if you want. As such, you don't need to hide away from any major story mode spoilers here, but that doesn't mean this story will be completely spoiler-free. There are still certain pieces of character and world building that may be worth writing about, so still be careful if you haven't played the game and the story mode. With that out of the way, on to the Splatlands.

Disclaimer: I don't own Splatoon or any of its characters. Splatoon is owned by Nintendo. You can support them by buying Splatoon 3.

Back Into the Ink

You are watching the Anarchy Splatcast, live with DEEP CUT

The cheerful Deep Cut jingle cued the blue, yellow, and black logo, fading in and out of the broadcast's intro.

"Listen up! It's going down…" The blue-haired Octoling onscreen told the camera as she tapped her wooden fan against the table at her feet. She was, of course, the one and only Shiver. "Repping the Splatlands, we are DEEP CUT!"

"Anarchy Splatcast! We're live!" Frye, the yellow-haired dark-skinned Inkling that was sitting on a pillow next to her pumped her fists into the air.

"Ay!" Big Man, the big Manta Ray that was hugging the nearby TV, flapped his fins. The sounds out of his mouth were simple, yet they could be translated to "Here we go!"

Shiver waved her fan around before she closed it again. "You lip-synch, we drip ink…"

He started excitedly waving his body in response. "Shiver, Frye, and Big Man!"

A transition briefly flew past the screen before Shiver held her fan close. "It's been a year and a half since that fateful day when everything changed…"

"When against all odds, Pearl and Team Chaos pulled through and defeated Order in Off the Hook's final Splatfest!" Frye pumped her hands out, leaning back slightly. "IT WAS THE SPLATOCALYPSE!"

Big Man again waved his body. "Should've voted for Team Order!"

"At first, no one was quite sure what to make of this." Shiver continued. "But one thing was for sure, the world as we knew it was ending. While police did their best to maintain the order all the way back in Inkopolis and other regions…"

"Chaos REIGNED in the Splatlands!" Frye interrupted. "Splatsville changed for the better when the ultimate riot broke out! And all of order collapsed with it!"

"No more police."

"No more laws."

"No more peace and quiet." Big Man said.

Shiver again waved her fan around. "Here in the Splatlands, we know only anarchy now. So if you're new here, watch out."

"Chaos is around every corner!" Frye pointed at the ceiling. "Seriously, watch that behind of yours!"

"I got robbed twice just on my way to the studio." Big Man said.

"And if you don't like it, well…"

"Move back to Inkopolis." Shiver sarcastically tapped her fan against the table again. "But that's it… for now."

"Let's get outta here!" Big Man replied.

"From Splatsville, that's a wrap." Shiver finished, before the three idols all stood up and then performed their signature finger waves for the camera. "Catch ya later!"

The desert known as the Splatlands was a hot, dry wasteland, riddled with old, collapsed vehicles and structures. This place had no beautiful views, but it had its sights to see nonetheless. Most notably was the old, gigantic tower from human times, flipped upside down and stuck in the canyon, forever decomposing there as time took its toll on it. The air was windy but otherwise mostly lifeless, with the occasional tumbleweeds and other litter flying past the rusted vehicles that dirtied the area.

Things did seem pretty lifeless, but regardless, an old pile of trash was rustling a bit, before some of it was suddenly flung into the air as a fish head poked out from underneath it. The small Salmonid Smallfry climbed out from the trash as he looked around, sniffing the ground as he wandered aimlessly through the desert. He excitedly bounced occasionally, wandering into old buses and the like as he looked for interesting things he could smell. And right now, he could definitely smell something, something with a copper smell that was inside an old destroyed bus. Bouncing excitedly, he suddenly fled the bus to find his partner, the Inkling that was resting under another rusted bus.

The Inkling was completely covered under her hooded cape, a silver pair of shades, and a mask, but she turned to look at the Smallfry as he wandered up, bounding up and down in excitement. She took off her mask. "Find something?"

He kept bouncing for a moment before he pointed in the direction of the copper smell.

"Alright, alright…" She took off her shades and hood before she slowly stood up, letting her cape fall to the ground. She had tan skin and yellow hipster hair, with one of her tentacles formed into a braid, a cut in her eyebrow, and an ugly torn white shirt. Her name was Syd Lachman, and unfortunately, this miserable desert was her home. With her weapon of choice, the Tri-Stringer in hand, she looked at the Smallfry as she walked ahead. "Come on, Chase."

Chase bounced again as he excitedly followed her, and they crossed the small patch of desert until Syd arrived in the bus, beginning her search. The life she lived as a junker had little merit or reward, but it was the only life she knew these days. But, alright, Syd believed that sometimes it did offer some reward, as she was about to reminded of. The insides of the bus were rusty and gross, but after some digging with Chase's help, she pulled out the ultimate find.

"What the…?" She stood up as she held it in-hand, staring at it. "No way…"

Staring back at her was a very, very old coin of some sorts. It was heavily rusted over, but she knew, this had to be from the human times. This beautiful, one-cent coin was about to get her a lot of money.

"Now this, I could use… thanks, Chase." She reached down to pet the hyper Smallfry, who aggressively nuzzled her.

Flipping the coin into the air and catching it again, Syd mad her way back out of the bus and into the heart of the desert, walking in the direction of the upside-down tower. At first unbeknownst to her, someone was on top of the bus already, and had been watching her Smallfry intently. He had long, purple hair and dark skin, but his face was covered with his own mask and heavy goggles.

Syd was enjoying her walk in a leisurely fashion, occasionally flipping the coin in her hand again, before she heard the voice behind her: "Find something cool?"

Jumping a bit, Syd immediately pulled the string on her Tri-Stringer and turned around, charging up her shot as she aimed at the Octoling behind her. Chase just stood back and looked between the both of them, confused.

Neither of the two moved. Syd held her ground, and her facial expression remained threatening. "…Who the hell are you?"

"A junker like you, I'm assuming." The Octoling replied. The Splatana that he held slowly moved behind him. "You can relax, I come in peace."

A moment passed in silence, but the Octoling seemed genuine. Syd very slowly lowered her Stringer. "…I haven't ever seen you around here."

"Just checking out some new areas." He slowly walked up. "You seem pretty familiar with this particular junkyard."

"Lots of good junk here. And things are quiet compared to the city."

"Oh, I've heard. But I was kind of hoping just now that you might be willing to share some goodies."

"Sorry, the good junk's mine."

"That coin in your hand is awfully tempting, though, I'll admit…" He looked down at her hand.

Syd briefly looked down at her hand as well before she moved to again aim her Stringer at him, but she was a nudge too late. The Octoling suddenly struck her with his Splatana, splashing her with his ink and knocking her aside. She grunted as both the Stringer and the coin flew from her hand, and the coin fell right into the loving hand of her new enemy.

He held the coin close, sliding it into his pocket. "Sorry to mingle and run, you're cute and all, but human coins like this are more precious than any of us." He used his weapon to paint the floor and swim away. "Really, I'm sorry though!"

"Oh, no, he didn't-" Syd rolled to grab her Stringer before she fired some quick shots at the fleeing Octopus, which missed and instead painted over his purple ink on the ground. She growled to herself as she scrambled to her feet.

A couple minutes passed as the Octoling soon decided he had found himself in the clear, and he turned back to his humanoid form as he continued on a more leisurely walk himself, chuckling to himself. He pulled out the coin, flipping it just as Syd did before.

All seemed well for him as he walked, but soon, his spirits would instead turn more sour, as in the blink of an eye, Syd suddenly leaped off a nearby rusty truck, twirling into view in front of him. He barely had time to react as Syd aimed her fully charged Stringer at his face midair, firing at him. He groaned as his dodge attempt only partially avoided the strike, with some of it managing to hit his goggles. He quickly rolled to take cover behind the truck, as his damaged goggle cracked and fell apart, the shards falling to his feet. He shook his head and took them off. "Oh, no, she didn't…"

Splatana in hand, he got up and leapt back into battle, flinging rows of ink from his Splatana at her. Syd responded by firing more quick shots at him, charging up another shot and again leaping off the truck to fire it at him. This time, he dodged and retaliated by again slashing at her, partially coating her in ink as she managed to dodge the main attack. An epic battle followed as they traded blows with their weapons, painting the desert around them in yellow and purple ink, but never managing to splat one another. At one point, they both turned to their cephalopod forms and squid-rolled at each other, both narrowly missing and zooming past each other. As soon as they turned back to their humanoid forms, Syd charged another shot and fired it directly at his face, but this time, he blocked it with his Splatana, holding it off to the side as the ink harmlessly exploded on it.

"Damn, you're good…" He faced her. "But you're still not getting this coin back from me. Sorry, I don't make the rules. Not that there are any rules, mind you."

In response, Syd smirked at him and suddenly held the coin up.

"Wha-?" He quickly checked his own pocket to find that Syd had indeed stolen it, but by the time he looked up again, Syd was already on the run.

Syd was running through the junkyard now, parkouring her way through the collapsed heaps of metal as she made her escape, while Chase loosely yet faithfully chased after her, barely even understanding what was going on. This time, Syd didn't make it very far before three large, purple towers caused by Inkstrike blasts struck the ground in front of her, knocking her back. She awkwardly fell down the metal pile she was running on, rolling onto the ground with a groan as the coin fell from her hand. The Octoling quickly ran past her, nabbing the coin again on his way.

"Haha!" He cheered, again inking the ground to swim away. He turned the corner around the metal hill before suddenly, Syd's screaming Smallfry was tossed over the heap, landing directly on him. "AHHH! WHAT THE FUCK!?" He turned back into his humanoid form as he wrestled with Chase on the ground, the Salmonid aggressively gnawing on him.

As they wrestled, Syd ran past and again stole the coin, before turning into her squid form and launching off into a superjump. The Octoling was forced to use his Splatana to knock Chase off of him, and he groaned as he tore his mask off, revealing his whole face. He shook himself off as he slowly stood up, looking around until he could see Syd, who was now standing on top of the collapsed tower, as if taunting him.

"...Nice throw!" He shouted at her.

"Thanks!" She gripped her Stringer. "I hope you have another Inkstrike on ya, because otherwise, you're never getting this coin!"

"Well, shit! Guess I'm in a pickle! But gee, maybe if I'm lucky, this will be good enough!" He pulled out his Tenta Missiles launchers.

Syd's smug smile melted away as she saw them. She sighed, muttering. "I need to sow my mouth shut…"

He wasted no more time firing the missiles, forcing Syd to back up and dodge on top of the tower. It was hard finding her footing as there was nowhere that was designed for walking, but regardless, she managed to dodge along the grating until the missiles either exploded against the metal or plummeted harmlessly into the pit below. The Octoling performed his own super jump to join her on top, quickly landing and finding his footing. He began flinging more ink at her, and she screamed as she started charging up more shots and firing at her, as they did their best to dodge each other's attacks while navigating their surroundings. It was another neck-and-neck battle as they attacked and occasionally stole the coin from each other, while Chase stood back at ground level, gleefully jumping up and down as he watched.

Finally memorizing all of Syd's moves, the Octoling countered Syd's last fire attempt by striking her Stringer with his Splatana, knocking the weapon from her hand and her onto her back. She groaned and looked up as he held the Splatana to her face.

"End of the line." He told her.

She rolled her eyes and suddenly kicked his leg, before she grabbed his Splatana and struck him with it. Covered with his own ink, he fell backward and the coin again flew from his hand, almost falling into the pit below. Seeing her last opportunity, Syd got back up and dived for it in a last leap of faith. Just barely, two of her fingers managed to close around it.

Standing on the edge of the tower, she held it up. "Yes!" Then, in her celebration, her foot slipped off the edge, and she lost her footing. "Woa-!"

Suddenly, mid-fall, the Octoling dived over and grabbed her free hand, and the canceled momentum caused the coin to slip from her other hand and fall into the pit below. Her eyes widened as she hopelessly reached toward it. "Noooo…"

The Octoling stared down, equally as disappointed. "…Aw, clammit…"

Syd looked at him, and he groaned as he started pulling her up. With his help, she climbed up to safety before she sat on top with him. "…Thanks for losing my coin, asshole."

"Oh, gee, I'm sorry for saving your life." He responded.

"My life doesn't need to be saved right now, that coin was the only thing I cared about just now! God, and you think living around here is hard enough."

"Don't even talk to me about how hard living here is, I know full well! The last year or so has been absolute hell, ok?"

"Don't even talk to me about how hard the last year has been, no one needs to hear it twice!" She shouted, and they both fell silent, angrily staring out over the view below as they thought about what just happened.

After a moment of pure, agonizing silence and a fair amount of thought, Syd suddenly chuckled. After another moment, that chuckle turned into a laugh.

He looked at her. "…What's so funny?"

"We live in the middle of nowhere and are barely scraping by and we just fought over a coin…"

"...An old human coin."

"Still a coin…" She chuckled more.

After a moment of thinking about this himself, he chuckled a bit as well. "A rusty coin…"

"Could we be any stupider?"

"Well, in these lands, it's hard not to be, I guess…"

She stood up and brushed herself off, before she helped him up as well. "My name's Syd."

He took her hand as he was pulled up. "Johnny."

"Wanna… get off this tower before one of us does fall and die?"

He looked down into the pit. "Uh… yeah."

Later

The sun was setting over the Splatlands, painting the sky a beautiful hue of orange as Syd and Johnny sat down to eat some grub by Syd's tent. Chase was nearby, feasting on some dead animal he had found.

Johnny briefly stared at the Smallfry before he looked around at the scenery. It wasn't very homely at all, and Syd's tent remained a fairly small white home that protected her belongings and herself from any potential rain. He looked at Syd herself, who was silently eating her own canned food. "…So, uh… you really just… live here, huh?"

"A home's a home." She shrugged as she ate. "You make do with what you get, you know?"

"Of course, but… why? The city's not far from here."

"The city is chaotic and noisy and anything could happen there and I really don't have the patience for it."

"Gotta be better than out here. You don't really get a lot of social interaction out here, do you?"

"What are you talking about? I have my little buddy."

Johnny again looked at Chase, who looked up from his meal at him, his face covered in blood. "…Uh… yeah, no offense, but it's just a Salmonid."

"A faithful Salmonid." She reached over to pet the little fish, who happily nuzzled her.

"...How'd you meet?"

"Oh, I just… found him in the desert. Separated from his home waters and starving…" She kept eating. "I wasn't necessarily planning on keeping him at first, but, I quickly realized how good he was at, well, chasing down things I never would've found otherwise. And, regardless, leaving him didn't… feel right."

"So, the desert wanderer has hearts. I'm impressed."

"Yeah, yeah.." She briefly shoved him.

"...And, uh… I know we were just trying to kill each other, but it was fun, wasn't it?"

"...Yeah. Yeah, it was fun. Not a lot of action like that all the way back here, to be honest…" She stretched.

"...So… come to the city."

She looked at him. "No."

"Why not? Afraid of people?"

"No, it's more like I… don't like people. There's gotta be hundreds of people even meaner than you who are gonna be willing to steal my shit. I'll be getting into daily fights."

"Fair point, but... but you seem nice. And things have changed since we fell into anarchy here, but that doesn't mean heart is lost from the city, you know?"

"I'll believe that when I see it."

"Alright, fine." He shrugged. "…But seriously. Who hurt you so bad that you ended up out here, interacting with nobody and fighting strangers over old rusty coins from the human era?"

She sighed. "…Look… Whatever the reason, you don't need to worry about me out here. I've made a home out of it, Chase and I take care of each other, and that's that. I've had… experiences, in actual society before and I came to the conclusion it's just not for me. But, hey, thanks for the food, man. Maybe I'll see you around."

"...Yeah, you're welcome…"

She yawned as she got up and went over to her tent, opening it up just as Chase suddenly rushed inside. She hesitated before entering, however, slowly turning back to him. "…But if you ever wanna come back around here..."

"I could consider it…" He stood up as well. "But all the action is in the city. Seriously, we should Turf War it up together."

"Stop, already, ok? I am not going to the city."

"Why not? I have an apartment you could room at if you need, it'd be much better than this sad excuse of a tent. I have a roommate already, but I can make room for another."

"You're insulting my tent now?"

"Again, no offense. Just telling how it is."

She sighed, thinking. "…I might consider some Turf War. Maybe. But it's very unlikely."

Johnny smirked a bit. "…Well… come meet me in the Square at noon."

"...No, I'm not going to meet you anywhere, I said I'm going to consider Turf War, as in, I'll check it out and see what the competitive scene is like."

"Yeah, riiight. I can tell your real thoughts, I can see that look in your eye. And I look forward to kicking your ass again."

"Oh my god, shut up. It's not going to happen." She closed up her tent, immediately getting ready for bed. "Good night, Johnny. Come back here again, I might just splat you on sight. Just a heads up."

"Good night, Syd. See you tomorrow." He waved as if she could see, before walking off and then performing a super jump into the distance.

By the time Syd woke up the next morning, she indeed didn't have any real thoughts of going to meet Johnny again. She woke up as she usually did, stretched, woke up Chase, and then headed out of her tent, quickly realizing how… empty the area now felt. Despite her offerings, Johnny didn't seem to be coming back to visit her anytime soon.

"...Hm…" She briefly looked around, before she shook her head, looking down at the ever-so-happy Chase at her feet. No, she decided, she was not going to go to Splatsville, even for a simple Turf War. There was too much chaos there and too much of a risk of her getting her head blown off by psychopathic strangers. She was fine where she was at. She went back into her tent to grab some breakfast, grabbed her Tri-Stringer, and headed out for her usual scavenging in the desert.

It went as it usually did. She wandered around, let Chase sniff things out, collected some things, and occasionally looked over her shoulder to see if some jackass was going to arrive again to attempt to steal her findings. Particularly, to see if Johnny was actually coming in for a visit. But this time, no such thing happened. She was as alone with Chase as she was most days. But that was fine… right? Her gaze turned back in the direction of Splatsville, barely visible in the distance. It was called the City of Chaos… so there had to be more thrill there, right? More people to interact with?

Regardless, she kept wandering the desert as she always did, waiting for something to happen. And kept waiting for something to happen again. A day passed. Morning again arrived. Again, nothing was happening. Nothing ever happened. This time, something about it really seemed to bother her… Why wasn't Johnny coming back for a visit? Was she really just going to keep sitting around, waiting for something to happen?

After she had her breakfast, she went back on her strolls, except this time, she wasn't really scavenging anything. She was just wandering around the abandoned construction sites near the flipped tower, thinking more and more about the adventures waiting for her outside this junkyard. So much could happen out there, right? Things far more interesting than anything here…

In complete boredom, she and Chase wandered past the gate, where Syd hadn't even gone in a long time. She looked around, wandering onto the empty train platform that seemed mostly unused and unkempt itself. She stood here for a moment, looking around, before she suddenly heard a ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding sound in the distance. She looked over, seeing the usual train slowly pull up, slowing to a stop in front of her as its doors opened.

She gulped a bit, looking back down at Chase. Chase, bouncing as much as ever, simply looked back up at her, ready to follow her literally anywhere she went. And upon seeing this, a sudden wave of comfort washed over her. What was the worst that could happen? A little adventure couldn't hurt her, right? And she'd still have her dearest friend by her the whole time.

With a brave face, she looked ahead, seeing a small assortment of people of different species already onboard. Still holding her Stringer, she reached her foot forward and stepped on.

So, before I end things here, I wanna let everyone know real quick that just like on NSS:OD before, you can request one-shot concepts in either my reviews or my PMs and they may just be turned into a chapter. I'm not guaranteeing I'll accept them, and I never received a lot of them in the first place, but the option is still open regardless.

For anyone who cares, I know I haven't gotten back to NSS:A yet. The rewrite I announced isn't quite cancelled yet, but I'm still putting thought into the entire story and how to make it... not shit, so, stay tuned. For now, however, I'll probably be more focused on this. Or not. We'll see. That's it for now, so see you next time. *waves*