Foreword:
This story has no real main plot and no real character relation investigation, thus why I put it under 'angst, drama'. The title, 'Forget, Forgive', is what the two characters want by the end of this fan fiction. Rikuo wanted to forget, while Kazahaya longed to be forgived. As for the details in between, I managed to ignore it and write on, which may cause it to be confusing.
Author's Note:
I've only read the first volume of Legal Drug, so I don't know much about the series. If the characters seem out of character, blame it on my inexpierence. And English is not my native language, so please understand the fact that I have few vocabulary. This story will likely be edited, as I wrote this during a dance (with loud music...) and my mind wasn't working much.
It was always him protecting me. Even if I hated him, hated having to have someone behind me just to keep me alive, I always knew that he'd be there, to watch my back and make sure I don't do anything stupid. While he always smirks whenever I need him to be there, he always was there, protecting me or just watching me.
And when he fell, I didn't know what to do.
I didn't know what happened. He just faded out, fainted all of a sudden. I managed to stop his fall (with my entire body, ouch...), but besides that, I couldn't do anything. It wasn't like I could carry him back to the store, and he just wouldn't wake up.
I realized that this must be how he felt when I faint in front of him, perhaps even worse.
I didn't want to leave him. Of course, I could go back to the store and perhaps get some help, but I wanted to do this alone. He was always the one protecting me, and I wanted to help me too, alone. But I couldn't, couldn't because I was weak.
I looked at him, and felt a faint urge to cry.
Suppressing my tears (they would be no help, no help at all), I looked at his face, looking so peaceful on my lap. There was no smirk, no annoying smile as if laughing at me, no solemn look as if the whole world belongs to him...It was plain Rikuo. This was the Rikuo hiding behind all his expressions.
And I did the only thing I could do.
Channeling myself towards Rikuo, I felt a sadness so deep I always pulled back. But I have to keep together, I couldn't faint at a time like this. Imagine the two of us both lying on the floor, unconscious. I gave out a cold laugh. That would be interesting.
Going into his memories, I saw flashes of darkness, flushes of blood, and the name, the name 'Tsukiko' came again and again. Feeling a faint cold smile tugging at my lips, I couldn't help but feel tears coming to my eyes. Even now, his feelings for her were strong. And after spending all these time together, there was no memory of me, at least not in his deepest mind.
As I slowly peeled into his mind (I realized that I was doing this without his permission, but I didn't know what else to do), I saw something. I wasn't sure what it was, but it was there, shining in all the darkness of his thoughts. So I reached out for it - almost literally - and grasped it as hard as I could.
It was then when I realized that it was his life, it was what made him continue living with all the dread he contains.
----
Ever since he woke up, we haven't spoken at all. I looked at him for a while, but all he did was walk past me and head back towards the store. I wanted to say something, or for him to say something, but he refused to look at me.
Refused to acknowledge that I was there.
I looked at his back, and I wanted to call him back, anything would be better than the silence he was giving me. Perhaps, if I hadn't seen those memories, I would have shouted at him, said that I saved his life and he should be glad. But he would just ignore me and bleed deeper inside.
So I kept my silence.
Even back in our rooms, he still didn't speak. Simply laid on the bed, and fell asleep without saying anything else. Or perhaps he wasn't sleeping, just hiding from me. Who knows most of his secrets now, know what he feels under his facade.
I shouldn't have seen his memories, even if it kept him alive.
It was always him protecting me. But when I finally did manage to return the favor, I just made things worse, as I always do. I was there, but I pried too much, when he always stops at the right time. I didn't ask enough, and I took something from him, as always. I made mistakes, and I'm paying the price.
This time, I let my tears flow.