Disclaimer- Don't own it. Wish I did, but don't.

Monuments and Melodies

Chapter Thirteen- Silence

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It was three in the morning and he had not come home. Ginny was sick with worry.

Charlie had long gone to bed, leaving her to her own devices- devices that just so happened to be pacing the entry hall waiting for Severus's return. He had been gone since earlier that day when he had left the room in a fit. He had kissed her and then he had left.

Ginny could help but feel awful.

The red head had never thought of Severus in such a way. He was, though he had not always been, her best friend. There was no romantic connotation there. He was Severus and she was Virginia and they were friends- nothing more. If anyone ever asked her if she thought of him in such an endearing way, she could have answered immediately. No, of course not…

But now, now she wasn't so sure.

The kiss had not been bad. In fact, it had been good. If she was entirely honest- very good. His lips had felt cool and firm against her own, and his hands tight and comforting. She had felt safe, safe in his arms just as she had felt only once before- once as a young girl coming off a battlefield in bloodstained robes, once as a child sobbing into her brother's corpse, once as she grasped onto her old Professor for dear life.

She cared about him deeply- maybe even enough for something like that, for a relationship? Ginny couldn't even begin to know. He was so much older that she was- not that it was a bad thing, but he had been her professor as well and not a nice one at that. But he had done so much for her. How could she not feel anything of that sort towards him when he supporting her like that! It was entirely his fault- all this confusion and misunderstanding. If he had just never shown her kindness, if he had just left her for dead that day…

A month ago, she would have wished for death- wished that he had just left her on the battlefield, but now, she didn't know. Now, she didn't want to die. Why though? She was a horrible person. She deserved to die and she used to be able to see it. What had changed in less than a day?

They had. They had changed. That kiss had changed them, because, for the first time, she felt needed. Safe there in Severus's arms, she felt like he needed her and she needed him. She felt right and she wanted more of that righteousness.

Ginny could only pray he felt the same.

But, at this point, at three o'clock in the morning with no sign of his return, she doubted he did.

Perhaps the kiss had been horrible for him. Perhaps he thought she was not up to par or realized that she was still a child in his eyes. Perhaps he thought she was tainted and he could feel it when they kissed. Perhaps he realized how dark and horrible she was. Perhaps he left because he was so disgusted with himself for even touching such a terrible creature. Perhaps he hated her.

Perhaps he wasn't coming back…

She could feel the moisture rising in her eyes, but quickly swallowed. It was time she stop acting like such a child. Adults didn't cry. She wouldn't cry.

"Ginny?"

The red head turned around to see her brother standing at the bottom of the stairs. He looked concerned.

"Hey," she said softly, stopping her pacing. She felt vulnerable under his gaze. She knew she must look awful- pale, tousled hair, and liquid eyes. Her arms pulled the cardigan tighter around her body.

"What are you doing, Gin?" he asked.

"Oh, I- I just can't sleep, is all," she lied. Charlie frowned.

"Are you waiting for him?"

"Who?"

"Snape." Charlie looked at her hard, and his tone sounded harsh and criticizing. Ginny didn't like it.

She stuck her chin out, "What if I am?"

"Ginny…" he scolded her wearily. She could sense it in his voice. He was talking to her like she was a child. He was talking to her like she couldn't understand.

"Is there a problem?" she snapped, feeling her eyes narrow.

"Ginny, this is Snape we are talking about."

"Do you think I'm not aware?"

Charlie threw his hands up in defense, "Look, Gin, I don't know how you became so chummy with the old bastard-"

"Don't you dare call him that-" she hissed.

"Why not? That's what he isn't he? He's a smarmy, uppity, old bastard and I don't know why you ever decided to stop seeing it, but he is and he's got you believing that he's not-"

"Stop it, Charlie. You don't know what you're talking about."

"But I do!" he insisted, "He was my teacher- you're teacher! Have you forgotten?"

"No, Charlie, I haven't. And I obviously don't see your point." Ginny could feel her face turning red in anger.

"He made our lives a living hell! He was the meanest guy to step into Hogwarts!"

"He's not our teacher anymore, Charlie!" She was shouting now, shouting right back at him.

"That doesn't make him any less of a bastard!"

"He is NOT a bastard and if you took two seconds to look past that-"

"He-is-a-BASTARD- and now- now he's got you at his beck and call!"

"What gives you the right?" Ginny dared, "What gives you the right to make a judgment on him like that?"

"Oh, I don't know- maybe the fact that he gave me straight detentions through my sixth year!"

"Like you didn't deserve it!"

Charlie scowled and yelled back pompously, "I didn't actually!"

"Oh, I'm afraid you did, Mr. Weasley..."

Silence.

It was a grim, slurred voice- a voice the two recognized immediately, "You were lucky I didn't have you expelled."

"Severus," Ginny breathed. He was standing in the doorway, holding its wooden frame tight beneath his pale fingers. His posture was awful, so unlike his normal erect form and the hair on his head fell tangled on his sunken face. Ginny could feel her heart racing again.

"Severus," she said again, "Are you alright?" She came towards him, a great whiff of alcohol invading her nostrils. She frowned, then adding with a hint of disapproval, "Are you drunk?"

"Drunk," The potions master waved it off, "I would hardly call myself drunk. More like incapacitated."

"And why are you incapacitated?"

"For courage."

Ginny put her hands on her hips, "Does this mean you can't walk?"

"Yes."

"Oh dear… Charlie, would you-" she turned to ask her brother for assistance, but found he was no longer there. She frowned, "Oh dear…"

The red head turned back only to find Severus out of the doorway and now walking towards her. He stumbled and she rushed forward to help him, pushing his careless form up as he steadied himself again. There was no way she was getting him up those stairs, especially after that brief moment of weight she received when he fell into her. She was simply too weak to do it.

Ginny thought for a moment. The closest room was the parlor and there was a couch there. She could put him there for the night. She didn't notice that his hands were slowly wrapping around her waist until he whispered in her ear.

"Do you hate me?"

Ginny was startled for a moment, "Of course not, Severus."

"I thought you would."

"Why would you think that?"

"I kissed you."

"I know."

There was silence, but Ginny broke it soon enough with a slow, hesitant murmur, "I didn't mind."

She looked up at him, finding his black eyes hitting her own. It was his turn to look startled, but the look soon softened. He brought a hand up, carefully holding her cheek. Severus's gaze moved over her for a moment, and Ginny saw something in those black eyes she had never seen before.

She was losing herself, drinking him in, the scent of alcohol and smoke intoxicating. She could not think and she could not speak. She was gone, more far gone than she ever been.

Slowly, she brought her lips up to his, feeling his cold breath tickle her face. But he did not respond. Gently he pushed her away, "No."

"Wh- what?" Ginny pulled her head back, looking upset. And she was upset. Maybe he really didn't feel anything towards her… But that could not be! She had felt something in that kiss! Something had been there! He had to care. He had too.

"I didn't come back here for that." He looked grimmer than ever and she could feel the hand on her waist tighten as he pulled her closer. Her head fell on his chest, and his cheek rested on her hair. But she felt no relief at this gesture. Ginny was confused, and she could feel herself letting go as she wrapped her arms around him in return.

"I don't understand," she murmured into his shoulder, "Are you leaving?"

"Yes."

The word echoed in her ears. Yes. One simple syllable. It broke her into the thousand pieces she no longer thought she had.

He could not leave. He couldn't. This was home. They had made it their home. And without him, it wasn't home any longer. They had made something out of nothing. They had built a monument out of a melody- a melody of home.

The tears were building in her eyes, and she could hear the strangled sound of her voice, "Why?"

"Because if I do not go now, I will never be able to leave." He whispered it. And she was breaking.

"Then don't leave. Stay-" with me…

"I cannot," he said firmly.

Ginny shook her head into his shoulder, "I do not understand." She could feel his hand stroking her hair, tingling her senses. It was a soothing motion, but it did nothing to calm her now.

"Perhaps it is better that way."

A tear fell down her cheek and she dug harder into him. His robes scrunched in her hands, "Stay, please," she was begging now, "Please don't go. Stay. Please stay."

The pressure of his cheek fell off her head and he pulled away to look at her. His hands came up to hold her shoulders and he looked at her as he had never looked at her before. The tears were streaming down her face and she could feel the sobs waiting to be unleashed.

"Give me one good reason."

"What?" she choked.

"Give me one good reason to stay."

Silence.

It was singing like no words ever would. She could feel it ringing in her ears and scratching at her eyes. She could taste it in the breath she took and feel it in the hands that held her. Silence. Screaming out to her like never before.

The silence made it so obvious now.

"I love you."

Silence.

It was their song.

"Only another reason for me to go."

She fell. She fell a thousand miles into his arms, hanging on for dear life, "No," she sobbed, "Don't go. Stay. Just stay. Please just stay!"

"I came back to say goodbye, Ginny. I must go."

She shook her head furiously, "Why? Where is there to go?"

Severus paused a moment, "Home," he said softly.

Ginny choked, coughing up her air. Still she shook her head, the sobs overtaking her, "But you are my home!"

"And that is half the problem."

Ginny pushed herself away from him. This was not right. This was wrong. Everything was wrong. She wrapped her arms around herself, and blinked her wet eye lashes open. Tears were still pouring.

"I don't understand."

Severus stepped toward her, "Perhaps it is better that way," he said once more. Silently, he placed a kiss on her head, and back away to the door, "Goodbye."

And he was gone.

Silence.

It waved over her as she finally grasped what happened. She loved him. She told him. He had walked out that door.

And he was gone.

Silence.

Except for her thud to the ground.

Silence.

Except for the echo of her sobs.

Silence.

Except for the shattering of her heart once more.

Silence.

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A/N- Again, sorry about the wait! I had a really hard time writing this chapter (partly because I didn't want to write it due to the content…) But it's here now. Enjoy- hopefully…

I like to give a huge word of thanks to the wonderful Liz, who so kindly offered to be my beta and is making sure my story is perfect. I love her too, too much. Thanks Liz! (We need some Buffy/Angel action sometime this weekend! coughAmendscough)

Now a word to all my wonderful, wonderful reviewers!

GreenMarker- Ah! You're making me blush! I'm so glad you like this pairing, because most people don't and somebody needs to make a website or something for it, but since I am illiterate in such areas I can't and I am rambling. Thanks so much!

fluffy-89- Hands next chapter More?

SwiggyGlade- Also making me blush… I enjoyed HBP well enough, but not as much as the other books. My favourites have always been PoA and OotP and I guess I was expecting this one to be better, but it really wasn't- at least not to me. I didn't feel it was dark enough and the characters seemed far too distanced from each other. I felt like the romance was almost too forced and just done for silly shippers though I did enjoy Fleur's manner at the end of the story. I guess there just wasn't enough comradery in this one. It was mostly about Harry, but I hate to say it, it isn't Harry that makes the books for me- it's everyone who helps him along the way.

Oh, and the fact that I cried three hours not because he had died, but because my favourite character had killed him! So, all in all, I thin it was ok- but not awesome.

billiejoe- I'm so glad I kept you reading! Hehe- blushing, again. And Snape is definitely not evil. I've read the book three times and there is far too much evidence against it. I'm glad you feel the same!

serena- I'm so glad this was worthy! I'm so paranoid its not. Heh. I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Scion of Kushiel- Tom is a very important part of Ginny's past and you're right- everyone did forget. That's always annoyed me. So, I made it a point to bring him back. I'm glad you liked it!

Well, thank you so much guys! This story would not be happening without you!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW BECAUSE I AM SAD AND NEED MOTIVATION AND INPUT ON WHAT YOU GUYS THINK AND LONG AND RAMBLY REVIEWS TEND TO MAKE MY DAY!

Heh. I am sad…