Oooooooookay, I'm back after only a year and a half. Now, there will be slight changes, firstly, the annoying spaces are GONE! That means shorter, but fuller chapters. Secondly, the plot line (thou not advertently) may and most probably will be changed. Sorry. Um, thirdly…have fun and enjoy the update. Oh, and sorry for saying that I'd update weekly and then leave you all like that…

Now…on to chapter four.

Disclaimer: I don't own them, but I'll toy with them anyway.

Chapter 4-Will It Work?

"First of all, we need a plan-" Hermione started, pacing the floor, before Oliver's sudden interruption cut her off.

"But don't you already have one?" he asked, puzzled.

"Well, what I was going to say before I was so RUDELY interrupted was… 'one of which I have already come up with.' I swear! If only people would let me finish! It's like they don't even listen!" she fumed as her anger level rose a notch.

Or two.

Oliver stopped her mini-rant with, "So…what is the plan?"

She halted and looked at him strangely, almost forgetting he was there in her state of ire. Hermione the said, "It's simple, really. We have to make them jealous."

"And we do that how…?" he asked uncertainly. This woman was starting to scare him.

"Well," Hermione began to ring her hands nervously. "I um…haven't really thought too deeply about that." she was blushing madly and it only added to Oliver's befuddlement.

"Then why are you blushing?" he questioned, a smile hinting at his face.

"No reason." she blurted out quickly. A little too quickly…

"Suuuuuuure," Oliver replied in a voice that plainly said, 'I don't believe you.' the smile growing to be 10 times as big.

"Oh, alright." Hermione relented, sinking down onto the couch beside him, but refusing to look at him. "I, well, I thought we could…pretend to, uh…"she fumbled with her words, not looking at him. God this was embarrassing!

"Yes?"

"Date." she said monotonously, a rosy blush manifesting itself upon her face.

Oliver laughed. And laughed. Five minutes later, he was still laughing.

"And just what the HELL is so funny!" Hermione thundered, suddenly looming over him.

Meanwhile-the idiot kept laughing, not foreseeing the impending danger that was Hermione. "You." he told her and tried to stifle his chuckling.

"What about me?" she asked angrily.

"You were too embarrassed to even say the word 'date'. No one would ever, even for a moment believe it. We're too different."

"Well," Hermione began huffily, "seeing as how I was just dating a Bulgarian Quidditch player," she paused for effect, "I don't think that would be big problem. I'm smart and beautiful-just the type of lady anyone would love." she said the last line sarcastically. But Oliver agreed.

"You do have a point," he admitted, already warming up to the idea. In fact, pretend dating Hermione might be just what the doctor ordered.

"Don't I always?" Hermione asked, and they both laughed this time.

An hour or so later, they arrived back at Harry and Ron's flat. Oliver went along because he figured he could use the cheering up of some fellow quidditch players. So while Hermione locker herself in the mini office area, he just hung out 'with the boys'.

"You know, Oliver, Hermione is single now." Harry divulged, giving said boy a sidelong glance.

"Yeah," Ron added, catching on. "And we'd love to have you as part of the family. Don't you think she's attractive?"

"Of course, but part of the family? Since when were you and Hermione related?" Oliver asked Ron.

"You know we're all like one big family." Harry intervened.

"Well, you see, I'm already seeing someone." Oliver added mysteriously, not telling them that it was in fact Hermione and that they were just play dating. He figured that if he even told one person that they weren't actually seeing each other, word would get out to his ex and the whole thing would have been pointless.

"God, Oliver, it's been like what, two hours?" Harry interrogated, surprised at his friend's fast recovery.

"Yeah, and she's wonderful." Oliver said, dreamily (so they think he's in love). This is perfect! They actually think we're dating! Then again, I haven't told them it's Hermione…

"So, who is it?" Ron asked curiously.

"As a matter of fact, it's Hermione." he told the astounded Harry and Ron. This was fun!

"What? Since when?" Harry asked, utterly confused.

"This afternoon. When she heard about Viktor and Katie," he paused painfully, hoping they didn't notice the catch in his voice. "She came over and we talked about it and realized how much we had in common. Then we spent awhile consoling each other…" he implied making the boys think that they did much more than talk and plot vengeance.

"Wow." Ron muttered.

Two hours later, after no sign of Hermione, Ron and Harry went to check on her. Oliver begged off, not wanting to incur the wrath of Hermione.

As they neared the door, the two could hear sighs and the crumpling of parchment followed by random grumblings of "Nah, this couldn't work." or "Nope. Definitely not." and so on.

Harry knocked on the door and asked Hermione if she wanted anything to eat or anything at all, for that matter.

"No, I'm fine." came the trite reply.

"You sure?" Ron tried.

"Yes! Go away!" she yelled, trying to regain her train of thought. Hermione knew she was being difficult, but revenge was a delicate business. It had to be handled and thought over just right.

"Okay." Harry said hesitantly as they returned to the couch.

"How'd it go?" Oliver asked, grinning.

"Um…we got nowhere." Ron replied dejectedly. They really worried about her sometimes.

Oliver's grin grew wider and he mumbled, "That's my girl! So diligent and easily angered." No joking there, Oliver thought.

"Yeah. That's true." Harry said and they went back to watching t.v.

About an hour later, right in the middle of 'Passions', Ron's favorite show, Hermione emerged.

"Hello, dearest." Oliver called, surprising the girl until she remembered their deal. He smirked at her forgetfulness.

"Hi, Oli." Hermione replied. "Can I see you in the kitchen?"

"In a minute, this is the best part!" he said, referring to the show.

"Oh, dear god. Please tell me that is NOT Passions!" she stated exasperatedly.

"Oh yeah. It's Passions. Now do you see what I have to go through every day? Help me Hermione!" Harry pleaded. Hermione just laughed and waited in the kitchen until a commercial break.

"What's up?" Oliver asked once he entered.

"I've come up with Phase 1." Hermione voiced, trying to cover a yawn. "And I need a nap." She busily made a sandwich while explaining her plan to Oliver. "We're going to go to your next quidditch game together. Well, not necessarily 'together', seeing as how you'll be playing. But after it's over, we'll stage a run in with both the press AND those two…two losers." Hermione said, reaching for an insulting enough phrase.

Oliver smiled wryly at her choice of words.

"But you know…pretty soon, we're going to have to act romantic in public. Like…kissing and stuff." Hermione remarked, her face turning red.

"Yeah. But that shouldn't be too much of a problem." Oliver said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. Hermione blushed a deeper shade of crimson. They returned to the living room.

"Oh my god." Hermione said suddenly. "That bastard was cheating on me!"

"What?" Oliver asked.

"When he came into the restaurant, his outfit and hair were all messed up. And on the news Katie said they had been dating a week. I'll kill him!" Hermione roared, lunging towards the door.

"Hey! Hermione! Wait up!" Oliver shouted, as he grabbed her arm and stopped her at the door.

"WHAT!" she howled, her face twisted into rage.

"Chill out! It's okay! Katie cheated on me, but you've gotta get over it. There's nothing you can do." he said sadly.

"I can rip his balls off!" Hermione argued. Harry and Ron watched in fascination, vowing never to piss their friend off like this. She tried to jerk her arm away from Oliver, but he held on fast.

"Hermione," he murmured, "please stop this."

"Let me go, Oliver." she commanded ominously.

"Then you leave me no choice…" Oliver said as he bent down and kissed her.

Whew! I've been writing this for too long! Thank god this chapter is over! Anywho-time to thank the reviewers. Don't you just love seeing you're name up here? A special thanks to Mel and L'eau Goddess, without you two, it probably would have been another year until I updated. Thanks so much!

mel: OMG! I love you! you are my newest review and YOU REVIEWED ON MY BIRTHDAY! that makes me sooooooooooooooo happy! as if the guilt trip wasn't enough, I'm going ahead and writing the rest of the fic, as soon as I find my old notes and stuff on it. possibly, I'll go in an entirely new direction, but it should still be seven chapters long. thanks for the review! I'll try and update soon so you know it wasn't discontinued.

angel13: thanks, and because of reviews like yours, be looking for a new chapter in the next couple of weeks.

mel: yeesh, you don't give up, do you?  I'm working on it! keep your eyes open for the next chapter, and possibly all of them.

rock-witch: good, because more is on the way!

grahamcrackers: OKAY, OKAY, OKAY ALREADY! thank you for your enthusiasm, and watch out, cause multiple chapters are coming at you!

l'eau goddess: let me be the first (or thousandth, depending on…whateva) person to compliment your name. tu parle francais? I do…sorta, I take the class anyway. anyhow, I'm glad you like where it's going, but I haven't even glanced at the fic in ages, so if it spirals out of control, then please forgive me! thou I, myself am not sure where this is going, I'll be sure to make it extra evil for ya. hehe!  thanks for calling my work good. sometimes, I'm just not sure if it is, ya know? that and I've recently decided that all the damn spaces I leave in between are just plain annoying, so the rest of the chapters will be shorter, but less annoying anyway. keep your eyes peeled for the latest installment! ttyl!

last remaining consilio(aka ford perfect): holy shit! I just realized that the last time I wrote back on your review, I said "see ya in snider's!" that means it's been like, two years! god, no wonder people think this thing is discontinued. anyways…you'd have speeling errors (lol, hope you caught that I did that on purpose and don't think my spelling is crappy. I have a spell bowl reputation to maintain. thou I missed the word chrysanthemum…grr.…anywho-it is relatively hard to type correctly on this, so I may have several errors.) ANYWAY…you better love my writing…especially the kasey kahne thing. lol. don't tell allie I wrote that.

Hermione sounds a bit like someone I know who says him... (WTF does that mean?)

of course I death glare you consilio! I wouldn't be a buzali if I didn't! 

yes she would say that! she's joking with him! and fuck the fourth book! it's AU if you couldn't tell! how the hell would oliver and hermione hook up it the real (fake) harry potter world? scared? is that scared like afraid, or scarred like with wounds? mou, I never can tell with you…

ironically, I liked the chip suggestion and am surprised my impeccably great intelligence did not envision the notion first. damn you and your all-powerful brain, consilio! DAMN YOU! lol.

I think i could see the Her. and olv. thing goin on So your Hermi and Oliver as a couple?

good. cause it will be. um…I think. I'm not quite sure what you wrote…

Oh I see now... interesting... revenge...

yes…revenge…revenge is good…very good. hehehe

Well I hope this was informational for you. I'll see you tomorrow if you check in the morning at 1:30 again. See you in Wathen. Don't forget romeo and Juliet...
Tootles,

very informative consilio. like hell, I was (and am currently) grounded so much it would be damn near impossible (hehe for all you obsessed sean biggerstaff/oliver wood fans reading this review, you should know where that came from) for me to get on the damn comp. at 1:30 a.m. plus, we don't have the 'net anymore. sob sob fuck romeo and juliet. I HAVE forgotten that crap. I loved when wathen forgot the naked parts and had to rush to turn the t.v. around. hehe. thou I didn't like to see juliet's ass…oh, and FYI consilio, you stole my word. you bastard! lol. just kiddin! see you in 11th!

faith and grace: thanks, thanks, and thanks. hugs self reviewers make me happy! look for the next chapter soon.

Well, that's all folks! I'll see you when I update, hopefully in the next two weeks or less. If not, feel free to bitch at me. Toodles!