The Mushroom Kingdom Book 1
Toadtown
Chapter 1 The Plumber Bros.
The white minivan pulled up along the curve. It had tinted black windows, and fat gray wheels that seemed to buckle under the weight of the vehicle. On one side of the truck was painted the company name: "The Super Mario Bros." and in smaller writing, "Plumbing's our game. If you need the job done, just call 212-555-3800."
Boring.
Simple and boring.
It was the definition of their lifestyle, from their unpaid rent, to their tiny Brooklyn apartment, to their low income job as plumbers.
The other side of the truck had various curse words in graffiti along the chipped white finish. Luigi Mario got out on this side, pulling a blue wader out behind him, and closing the door with a yellow work glove. He was young and healthy, with lively skin, spiky black hair and a thin black moustache. He visited the gym a lot with his older brother Mario Mario, except while Luigi was lifting, Mario was hefting the weight of a club sandwich.
Mouth-to Hoagie-to Soda.
Mouth-to Hoagie-to Soda.
Mouth-to Hoagie- whoops. Napkin. To soda.
It was this sort of diet that caused Mario to be shorter than Luigi by six inches and still weigh eighty-five pounds more. Mario was a stunning five-foot nothing, with curly black hair and an enormous moustache he prided over, because it gave a little extra life to his enormous, round nose.
He had two chins, and rolling fat, but was as tough as a rhinoceros, and still managed to be strong enough to hold the upper hand above his younger brother.
Mario clambered out of the car too, with a crowbar in tow. They had been called by City Hall for repair work in the sewers. If they didn't have a passion for pipe work, they probably would have laughed and hung up.
Nevertheless, the mayor realized what sort of work it was, and was paying them rather handsomely for it.
The sewer lid popped up effortlessly under Mario's press, and the brother's climbed down a thin ladder made of rusted iron. They vanished in the lack of light under the manhole, landing on gray cement beneath the feet of black tar above their heads.
Luigi strapped a flashlight helmet to his head, flicking on the lifetime-guaranteed bulb that wavered slowly into life. A ring of yellow illuminated the tunnel, pouring over the walls, and down into the slowly drifting, rancid waters in the tunnel.
Mario did the same, doubling the flash below, such that they could see the tunnel for about fifty yards in either direction. They could not however dare to look at one another's face, or else the shine of the bulb would have stung their eyes.
So Luigi was left staring at the back of Mario's red plaid, tucked into bulging blue overalls as his older brother led the way.
Luigi was carrying their tools, and as he walked, with his brown boots splashing on the wet floors, the sound of metal chinking rattled out into the echoing, curved walls.
They made a left at the first cross, then walked straight for ten minutes, entering the piping that fed an old, recently redone apartment building. There was a maze of steel, as hundreds of silver pipes crisscrossed and intersected under the building's foundation.
Mario sent Luigi off to wander around, noting down all of the problems he could find as Mario caught his breath, in the company of a can of tuna fish. The elder brother lifted a towel from his back pocket, rubbing its dirtied side along his face, soaking up sweat from the condensed heat in the tunnels.
Luigi had vanished behind two walls of wide plumbing, and had noticed seven leaks already. One of the benefits of massive piping was the lack of effect small leaks like this could have. As long as water got from one spot to the other, all was well. But if pipes became disconnected, then the water flow would end, and when plumbers were called in, they'd say it was all of the other stuff as well causing the trouble, earning extra money as long as they listed their work.
It was another ten minutes before Luigi found the main leak. A water main had been exposed to too many leaks from above, and the steel had rusted so much over time that a section of piping had just broken off and sailed away.
Luigi called Mario over to look at it, who ran rapidly across the cement, dodging the constant cascade of minor leaks.
He stood staring at the water main as Luigi jotted down small notes and assessments of what they'd need for the job. Mario took Luigi's old notes and went around photographing the leaks he had listed as proof that they needed fixing and got it.
After he finished, he returned to the major sever in the pipe, where Luigi was finishing his analysis.
"Heya, bro," said Luigi in his heavy New York accent, sticking the pad in a waterproof pocket. "I don't think we got all we're gonna need down here. We'll at least need a 1.5 tube, maybe .6, and a wrench that's a lot damn larger than anything we got here. You wanna just hang out here while I go back and get what we're gonna need?"
Mario returned with his heavily Italian accent, nodding his head in accompaniment. "You're a never gonna get me to walk all a the way back up. I'll a stay here and shout if you call out for directions."
"Suit yourself," said Luigi, dodging the hanging tubing as he sprinted back to the city surface.
Mario sat down on the walkway by the empty water main, looking into the black tubing. He took off his helmet, pointing the light inside, and suddenly wondered how Luigi could have looked the thing over well. The helmet filled the distance between both pipes, so with that blocking, he wouldn't have been able to look inside with light.
Knowing they'd replace the pipe anyway, he kicked a section loose, where rust had devoured the screws holding it in place. Inside of the shadowy piping was a lot of dirt and mold.
Plus a really odd fungus.
Mario bent down to look at it. It was tiny, with red spots along its white stem and beige crown. Two black stripes ran down the stem, and branched up into a second mushroom. The two fungi were tiny and still, though very alive. He prodded it with a tiny wrench in his pocket.
Very bad idea.
Gray spores plumed out into the air, encasing his head, and blinding him in clouds of spray. The defense mechanism sent him hurtling back, rubbing the burning sensation from his eyes, and the awful smell in his nostrils. He began to sneeze madly, but that only caused more chaos in the air, and more spores to shoot up his nose.
He slipped forward, struck his head on the water main, and slipped into the shallow current of sewage water. He saw Luigi coming, and reached out.
A hand touched his.
Then there was a splash, or some sort of sound.
It was all so complicated.
Barely seconds passed before he blacked out.