A/N: If you don't like her/draco stories, leave. But this one is entertaining even for those who don't like those stories. This is the complete opposite of a marysue, let me tell you
disclaimer: I own no hp stuff
Chapter 1: What a Loser!
I ran in and sat down hurriedly on the last seat open. I looked over; I was sitting next to Malfoy, ew! He gave me a look of pure venom. Snape gave me a look of time to die. Not that that's abnormal, those are there select looks for me. I gulped as I set up my cauldron. I had been late for class 3 times in a row. It was only because my boyfriend was dragging it out, he was definitely aggressive, but so hot! Well anyway back to the subject. Snape gave me an evil grin, I looked over at Harry for support, he gave me the look that said, I can't help you once your dead! He was so right
" Miss Granger, that's the third time in a row, one hundred points from Gryfindorr and detention, I dare say, I never thought I see the day..." He said with a menacing laugh that gave you chills. My heart jumped, I knew what he meant. I was failing the class, along with Transfiguration and Charms. I hadn't had much time for studies since Danny came into my life, but I guess it's worth it. I took out my potion ingredients and began to chop my dried salamander's head off, it took a while. Malfoy was kicking me under the table every time I tried to cut, it was sort of ironic, Snape could see him, but he didn't care. I managed to get the head off in three pieces. My potion was sort of dismal, OK it sucked, but I couldn't read the blackboard very well. Then Malfoy decided it would be fun to try and drop his extra ingredients into my cauldron. I tried to stop him. Snape just watched out of the corner of his eye. He finally managed a rat's toe and my whole cauldron exploded. Everyone ducked under there tables, but me, Malfoy, and his pathetic excuses for friends, Crabbe and Goyle where soaked in the Hair raising potion. My face began to tingle and I could feel my singed off eyebrows growing back in he wrong place. Snape finally decided to get off his lazy butt. He helped Malfoy up, who now had quite a large beard. He pointed at me and at the door.
" To the hospital wing, 30 points from Gryfindorr!" He said in a menacing almost yell. He pushed Malfoy forward and they began to walk out the door. As soon as the door slammed behind us, Malfoy and me began to argue, but what else is new. My secret was though, I enjoyed it! (Not like that you sick perv, do you think I'd like that mangy excuse for a human being, No, I enjoyed the arguing)
" Thanks you butt faced snob, I just lost 130 points for Gryfindorr and its all your fault!" I said, kicking him as hard as I could in the shin. He kicked me probably harder and we started to walk again.
" No miss mud blood, those hundred are your gay boyfriends fault, everyone knows that! And besides, I'm proud to say I deducted your stupid houses prize points!" He yelled back at me. I ran to catch up, his gay friends followed, they knew when we started to fight, stay away.
" OOO, Malfoy, are you jealous?' I asked, laughing. He totally wasn't, but I had to say so.
He stopped and turned to me, a dreamy look in his eyes.
" Hermionie..." He said in a cooing sweet voice, one that I was surprised he could even make.
" WHAT!" I yelled right into his face. He smiled.
" That black hair on your nose does disguise the fact that you're such a ugly hoe!" He said. He took off running off the stairs, he was smart, he knew I'd run, screaming after him, which I did! We where almost at the hospital wing, when we where stopped by Mcgonnagal. She gave both of us a stern look.
" What in blazes do you think you two are doing!"? She yelled in our faces. I paused; I knew she'd hate it if I said I was chasing after Malfoy because I hate him more then death itself (Its the truth)
" Uh... Snape sent us to the hospital wing to get this hair off." Said Malfoy, touching his long beard. Mcgonnagal gave us an even sterner look, but spoke quieter.
" I need to have a separate word with both of you..N-" But I had grabbed Malfoy's hand.
" I know, we're failing and all that junk, got to go!" She said and ran with Malfoy dragging behind her. I knew that the hair raising potion set in after fifteen minutes, I didn't feel like shaving off cheek hair every morning till I die. We reached the hospital wing in no time. Madame Pomfrey just looked at us for a moment and told us we'd have to be there for a while. I started to protest, I had planed to meet Danny, but she wasn't taking them. She could save us from the hair permanently setting in, but it would take eight hours, and considering it was half past four, they'd get out around 12:30. She gave them each a bed and cut off the hair till it was stubble. Then she applied the gooey honey stuff, all over there faces and necks. What I didn't understand is why the heck did she have to share the curtained ward with Malfoy? Apparently, Neville Long bottom had put a charm of muteness to everyone his class so the ward was filled. We couldn't move much, but that didn't stop us from bickering.
" God, this sucks ass, its all your fault!" Malfoy whispered sharply to me.
" MY FAULT, your the pathetic loser who is so desperate for attention!" I whispered back. I swear, if I could have moved I would be ringing his neck.
" ME! Desperate for attention, hm, who had to have the jock boyfriend just so everyone would notice her, oh that's right, Miss Mud blood!"
" OH OH! Well at least I'll have people visit me here, Harry said he'd be up during lunch!" I said, I thought I had proved my point.
"Well at lunch time my fan club will be here so I hope you and potter boy don't talk, at all, in fact why don't you just send a message that's so clear you want, to him."? He put on a girly voice.
" Hey Harry, Forget you loser, I've got Danny! Teheheeh" He said. For some reason, that ate me up the most. If I wasn't at risk of getting a five o'clock shadow, I would have killed him there. I checked my pockets for my pocketknife, but I had left it back in my room
" Yeah, like you have a fan club!" I said with a laugh. The sad thing was, he did. When the bell rang, fifteen or sixteen girls, mostly Slythrins filed in, all cooing over Malfoy. I wanted to be sick; I really wanted to be sick when Harry didn't show up. Maybe Malfoy was right. They stayed until five minute after the bell, it was like they had no life, other then Draco. One of the girls had I " I love Malfoy" on it. When they finally left, I faked sleep so I wouldn't have to talk to him. Danny came up after school was over. All he wanted to do was kiss me. I normally stopped after a while, but I was so mad at Malfoy, I figured using the boy toy once in a while wouldn't hurt; after all, Malfoy was too picky to " pick" a girlfriend. I looked over after a few minutes. He was looking up at the ceiling, but you could tell he was watching because he responded to any sudden movement. Danny left after a while and Malfoy and me had some silence. Finally, he spoke.
" I don't know what you see in him." He said. I could have laughed, maybe not.
" I see what I want." I said. Malfoy looked over at me and smiled.
" Do you realize your going out with a brainless, talent less, cheating excuse for a human being? He asked me. I picked up the metal vase that was next to my bed and threw it as hard as I could at him.
" I HATE YOU! DIE PLEASE DIE!" I screamed. I know he knew he had hit me hard with that comment, but I knew I had hit him hard with the vase. Madame Pomfrey came in and yelled at us, but after that, we spoke no more.
I had just fallen asleep when I was awaken by Madame Pomfery's screaming. I opened my eyes just in time to see Malfoy getting slapped in the face. Pomfrey was pissed, man and I had goo all in my hair. I sat up and touched my hair; a large strand fell into my hand. I looked over at Malfoy whose face was all-clean. He gave me a disingenuous smile and ran out of the hospital wing. The frazzled nurse turned her attention to me.
" Oh dear, come with me miss granger!" she said, pulling my hand over to the sink. I looked up in the mirror. I was an icky gooey mess. My hair was covered in the hair killer that Madame Pomfrey had put on our faces, or what was left of my hair. I screamed!
" What the friggen hell did he do to my hair!"? I yelled.
" Hush up dear! We might be able to save it, he only put it on five minutes ago!" She said, pushing my head backwards into the sink. I could feel my hair coming out, not a pleasant feeling. When she finally dried my head off, I could feel the towel touching my scalp. She turned me around and I looked in the mirror. I screamed again, I had no hair; all of it was in the sink. Madame Pomfrey was trying to get me to hush and she was taking out her wand
" SEE HERE DEAR! I CAN FIX YOUR HAIR!" she yelled. I finally stopped. If she could fix it, then I could get over it. She took out a magazine and began to read.
" All right, one dose of magical hair, here we come." She furled her wand at my head and a tingling sensation started at my scalp. After a minute, I was completely blind; all the hair had grown at one length. While Madame Pomfrey cut my hair, I touched it. It wasn't bushy or greasy anymore. Maybe Malfoy had done me a favor! Definitely without knowing it. When she was done, she flipped the hair out of my eyes.
" If I do say so myself, I could leave hogwarts and become a hairdresser, but I know you'd all die without me.," she said. My hair was honey brown and smoother then I had ever seen it.
" Thank You!" I exclaimed. She took a piece of paper out of he rockets.
" Here, this is from professor Mcgonagall, she came by early this morning." She said. I put it in my pocket. I didn't feel like reading in front of the nurse how I was a failure and I should dump my boyfriend. For god's sake, even my worst enemy wants me too! I went out in the hall where Malfoy greeted me. His face was now hairless. I would have kicked him, but I didn't mind my hair much.
" So sweet of you to wait asshole!" I said to him. He smiled brightly.
" Oh well granger, I can't call you frizz ball, but I think I think Blady the mudblood would work!" He said with a jovial laugh. What a loser! I ran up the next flight of stairs and luckily wasn't followed. I sat on the top stair and opened the letter. It read
Miss Granger,
Considering you are failing three classes, we must enforce the repeat your sixth year. But however, I know you want your chances at head girl to be intact, so we have made a new way top get out of repeating the year. You have the option to use our new program
" Exchange". It involves a lower grade student (Your year but failing worse then you) coming to live at your home for the summer. You have the option of that or failing Miss Granger. I am surprised at you and I hope this never happen again.
I shook my head. How hard could it be? I grabbed a piece of paper form my bag an wrote a response
Professor Mcgonnagal,
I too am very sorry about my grades also but I would love to sign up. I always loved to touter and this will be a great opportunity to bring mine and those person's grades up. My response is yes.