Symphony

MysticShadowWanderer

Disclaimer: Whatever…

Fourth Movement

Her hands were shaking, just slightly, as she knocked on his door. The noise sounded weak, as if she were scared to attract his attention. But she wanted this more than anything and had waited all week for this moment. Still, she couldn't help but be just a bit nervous as she waited for Kenshin to open his door.

How long had she been standing outside his apartment? She wasn't sure anymore. Originally she'd planned to be there a few minutes early, but had been forced to spend several hours gathering her courage and calming her nerves. Memories that she couldn't quite remember were screaming at her mind and she wasn't sure what to do. Something this simple shouldn't be so confusing and stressful.

Shaken out of her trance by the rattling of the knob as Kenshin unlocked and opened the door, she mustered a wavering smile that was met by the warmth of his own smile. That in itself was reassuring, and she felt herself steadying as she stepped into the apartment. After all, what was there to be afraid of?

The first thing that Kenshin noticed when he opened the door was how terrified she looked. He didn't understand how she could be scared of him, unless she had learned about his past. But the look in her eyes told him that was not the case. A smile was enough to encourage her, and he led her to the piano in slight confusion.

The first words he spoke to her were to please take a seat. It seemed a strange way to open an exchange, but he'd never considered himself such a wonderful conversationalist. He watched as she tentatively pulled out the bench and sat down, leaving room for him to sit beside her, which he did. Instinctively, her hands strayed over the piano and he marveled at the beauty of the casual gesture. Her hands looked soft and nimble, strong against the simplistic fascination of the keys themselves. What most enthralled him was that her hands remained a pale, creamy color. They didn't flower with crimson and they didn't pass decay onto the ivories like his hands were wont to do. He found himself unconsciously brushing at his eye, immediately thankful that Kaoru had not looked up to see his solitary tear.

Kaoru bit her lower lip as she allowed her hands to brush over the soft, well-worn keys. It seemed sacrilegious to lay even a single finger on such and instrument that was fine enough that a god might sit down to play it. But here she was, the gracious little blasphemer with her hands seeping warmth onto the piano as they absorbed the cold of the precious keys that she rested them against.

"Why don't you play something?" Kenshin asked quietly, and she glanced up at him quickly to find him looking at her in some sort of enthrallment. What was that expression on his face? It appeared almost knowing, as if he was aware of some great secret that she was not allowed to hear.

"But… I don't know any songs," she half-whispered in reply. The things that she played in her apartment were out of place here, with this instrument.

"Just press your fingers on the keys," he suggested, "and play anything that comes to you."

She began to protest, but he interrupted her gently. "Shh, it's alright." His words were just barely on the audible side of silence. The hushed, almost intimate tone of his words caused her flesh to crawl with head, and he smiled to himself as a pink hue spread across her cheeks and the bridge of her nose. He nodded to her, and she looked back down at the keys, slowly beginning to pick out a melody.

Kenshin watched her hands as they moved; he knew this song. Where had he heard it before? The strain of the melody was so clear, so simplistic. But he knew with everything he was that he'd heard this somewhere. Kaoru was deep in concentration, and didn't notice when he stood and moved behind her. She did notice, though, when his gentle hands were suddenly covering her eyes, and she froze, crying out slightly.

"Don't worry," he said, his voice quiet. "Just feel, you don't need to see. Let yourself play."

Biting her lip again, she nodded against his firm yet soft grip and started to move her fingers again. Kenshin fought back a gasp, as her playing was a bit more resolved and more forceful. It wasn't some nonsense melody that she couldn't grasp at, it had rhythm and meaning and emotion. And it was his piece that she played.

It wasn't exactly the same, he noted. It played a bit brighter than his and set a lighter mood. Somehow it was softer and ultimately more feminine. He counted in his head as she played, as she became surer of herself. The piece had measures, counted correctly; it was all accurate in technical terms. And it matched his. At exactly the time where his plunged into despair, hers soared into delight and when his lifted into happiness, hers sank into depression. It was as if it were counterbalancing what he would play. Her fingers were moving furiously fast now. And she said she'd never played… This piece was proving her wrong somehow. It was a picture of perfection in every way he could possibly conceive. Yet… it was as incomplete as his felt when he played it.

The notes flickered away, her hands stilling, and he felt her shift beneath his hands, which still clasped at her head, almost desperately now. Mumbling apologies, he swiftly released her, unwilling for her to see the slight trembling of his fingers.

"Kenshin…" she whispered. "Kenshin, what was that?"

He shook his head and went to brace himself against the window with one arm above his head. Dipping forward, his head rested against the glass. What was this? It frightened him that he didn't know. In a flash, he stiffened and could again see the dancers that visited him in his dreams, and, he knew now, visited her in her dreams as well. What was all this?

"Kaoru, I…" his words trailed off. He didn't know what he wanted to say, but he felt that there was something that simply had to be expressed. This was so frustrating. Everything was right there, right within the reach of his mind, but he couldn't quite seem to bring it all together. What was going on?

"Maybe I should leave," Kaoru said softly.

"No," he said without hesitation. "No, don't leave. Play that again."

"I don't know… I don't know if I can."

"You can."

Kaoru breathed in deeply and set her hands against the keys, but she didn't know where to start. Her fingers pressed at a few notes, but they all seemed pale and lifeless. Kenshin came behind her again and settled his hands over her eyes.

"Don't look. Just play."

This time she could feel the tremble in his fingers, the electricity in his touch. He was reaching out to her, trying to understand something that neither of them could grasp. And she could play now, as if his hands stealing her sight were some sort of trigger, she could play. This time it was natural. There was no stiffness in her hands, no protest of unused muscles, when she let her fingers dance almost wildly out of control. But everything was there in a canvas painting of perfection. She knew this as if it were her own soul. How was this possible?

The muffled splash of tears against her hair almost startled her enough to make her lose focus, but she dutifully ignored his pain. What was this?

Kaoru sat back against her couch, absently flipping through the channels on television. The last thing she wanted to do right now was think, because that would just confuse her more than she already was. Once more she felt herself walking the thin line between genius and insanity, and this music was pushing her ever closer to the edge. Before she even formulated the question, she knew the answer. Yes, it was worth it.

A heavy sigh passed her lips and she nearly threw the remote controller down on the floor and hauled herself to her feet. To sit around in this manner simply would not do. Though she didn't have class tomorrow, she felt that she should at least be studying. But she knew that was an impossibility at the moment, and settled for a warm bath.

Unaware of a pair of eyes watching her through two windows, she moved about the room, gathering a bathrobe that had been tossed forgotten in a chair and then heading to the kitchen for an essential oil to put in her bath.

Kenshin followed her path with his eyes as he lay in silence on the hardwood floor in front of his window. He'd ushered her out of his apartment not long after she finished playing her piece for the second time, shameful of the lingering tears on his face. For her part, she pretended not to notice and kept her gaze fixed on her hands or his. Again he'd noted her almost compulsive interest in his hands. When he could no longer see her moving in her apartment, he lifted his hands up before his eyes, squinting as he tried to understand what she saw.

All he saw was blood and sin, heartbreak and despair.

Dipping a few fingers in the water, Kaoru smiled. It was always nice when she got the temperature exactly right with the first effort. She hummed to herself as she carefully added her lavender oil to the water. Tonight, she decided, she would allow herself to relax s she hadn't done in quite some time. And what better than warm water and the gently floating scent of a calming plant?

Her breath was released all at once as she sank gracefully into the tub. This was what life was meant to be like. Every so often it was nice to retreat from the world. She felt herself growing slightly drowsy, but willed her mind to stay awake, lest she drown in the nearly full bathtub.

Still, the sensuous, tranquil aroma of lavender swallowed her and her sight became hazy. Just as she was telling herself that she would have to get out or risk potential injury or death, her thoughts left her to be replaced with something much more vivid.

Those infuriatingly silent dancers swirled in front of her open but closed eyes. Mentally she was screaming at the scene, confused and scared at this incident. Nothing like this had ever happened to her. She could feel herself beginning to spin, dancing with them this time. Her body passed other closely, but they never quite touched save for at the hands. This was planned to the very last footfall, but she didn't know how she knew the movements. The stiff dress she wore twirled around her, and the corset around her waist made it pleasantly difficult to breathe, just enough so that she felt lightheaded. Now and then she could see faces, but there were unfamiliar. One man swooped closer to her sight, and the image froze. Suddenly everyone else faded away and she was facing him alone. She couldn't recognize him, but she knew that she knew who he was. Something about those eyes…

Kaoru came back to awareness with a jolt, shocked and frightened. Shaking her body to awaken it, she quickly stepped out of the tub and slipped into her bathrobe, tying it tightly shut and wrapping her arms around herself.

This kind of thing just didn't happen to her. It never had before. At least she thought it hadn't. Distantly, as if pulling the memory through years of cobweb and blue mist, she recalled her mother once saying something about her great-grandmother having some special talent, but she couldn't remember exactly what. It had been so long ago…

Things like this didn't happen every day, she decided, and she would find out what she'd just experienced. With a resolute nod, she sat down in front of her computer, her hair still dripping wet and still clad only in a bathrobe. It didn't matter.

The World Wide Web could be such a useful tool, and within minutes she skillfully steered her browser into a chat room. Usually she abhorred the idea, but desperate times called for desperate measures, as the saying went.

Thebluepianist, herself, wanted to know what a vision meant. ObscuredShadow, someone who claimed to be from England, asked for more details. Kaoru chewed on her lip and wondered whether it was wise to tell a complete stranger about something that seemed so personal. Then again, what could it hurt? She began to type out the images she'd seen, describing everything as accurately as possible. As she finished, she found herself with a barrage of replies that at first baffled her. She read more carefully to make sense of it. One in particular seemed to jump out at her, and she saved the text in her word processor to ponder over later.

"It sounds like a past life, Blue. Anything can set off a memory like that, a scent, an emotion, a new person, a song. It's impossible to be completely certain, but it's more than likely that something you've encountered lately has made a part of you release this and I'd say that it's due at least some attention. Think about it – has anything called to you very strongly in the past few weeks?"

Kaoru thanked the person, who called herself Glass Sorceress, and quickly logged off. The casual exchange of intimate information between strangers was fearful to her. The thought that someone you didn't know could know everything about you was sad in a way. Especially when so few people had friends that they could treat in such a way. Had the world become so cold?

She lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling and simply reflecting. The darkness engulfed her, but wasn't threatening, and she wondered about everything that had happened during the day. The way she'd felt when she played was phenomenal, and part of her was scared to try it again. The other part was clamoring for the music. She wasn't sure which part to listen to.

Past lives were another issue altogether. Though she'd always thought, or maybe hoped, that she was open-minded, she wasn't sure how to feel about such new ideas. It wasn't as if she'd ever scoffed at anyone who said they could remember past lives, but she'd just never thought that she had any. Was that what it meant to disbelieve? She didn't know. And who was that man in the vision?

As if it hit her physically, she bolted into an upright, sitting position. The thought was too strange. But suddenly she knew, just as she knew her own name, what all of this meant.

How could anything like this be possible?

A/N: I wrote this pretty much forever ago, but then I had all those computer problems and what not. I typed this while I wasn't looking at it (I was looking at the laptop), so please excuse any errors. I'm too tired to go back and look for them. I don't think I'll be writing much for a while, sorry guys… One of the cats that I've had for 12 years just died on Friday, so I'm kind of non-artistically inclined lately. Hopefully I'll get some brainwaves going, though… By the way, if anyone knows where to find sheet music to Malice Mizer's "Regret" or Gackt's "Blue," you will be my best friend on the face of the planet.