Title: The Rather Obvious Defeat Of Voldemort
Author: TigerTiger02
Disclaimer: I own nothing...
Dedication: to Nikki who has dragged me out of depression and made me laugh more then I ever have in the past four year... my hetero-life-mate Nikki!
NOTE: Just some mindless Bullshit Nikki and I came up with while musing on HPB. Well not like she read it… in her words, 'Dean Koonze is twenty times funnier and at least his characters have more dimension.' Or something to that extent. We had been talking about the second movie and how poor the acting was for Young Hagrid, Lucius Malfoy, and yes… Tom Riddle. Lucius Malfoy and Tom Riddle had too much of the typical cheesy villain taste to them. "I will get you Potter!" all whilst pointing. Gah! So Nikki and I thought it would be a cheesy bullshit way Voldemort would be defeated. Also note that Dumbledore is always saying that the most powerful power is that of love... And now… on to the craptastic story.
Harry whipped out his wand, "Voldemort I will defeat you!" Just before Voldemort could say anything at all, which would be because he's like 60 years old, no one that old has good reflexes. Anyway on with the story… Harry shouted a spell.
"Expelliarmus!" Harry shouted. Voldemort's wand… hehe snigger… flew out of his hand and into Harry's. Harry pocketed both wands and stared at his enema's… excuse me, enemy's eyes.
"What in the name of Hitler are you doing? How do you think you can defeat me without a wand?" Voldemort asked stupidly… not realizing that Harry could easily stab him to death.
"Voldemort… I can easily defeat you." Harry answered cockily; because he's the Boy-Who-Lived he could do that.
"How do you think you will defeat me?" Voldemort asked like the evil villain he is… was… whatever.
"With this!" Harry said and promptly ran up to Voldemort. He squeed and jumped into the Dark Lord's arms. Straddling Voldemort he hugged him while screaming at the top of his lungs, "I LOVE YOU VOLDEMORT!" Voldemort's eye bulged, his ears began to steam, and his face went red. Voldemort's head popped like a nasty zit… in fact his whole body did… into caramelized sugar.
Harry fell to the ground amid the caramelized sugar. He glanced around, no one was watching so…
"Hmm… I wonder if this tastes good?" he wondered aloud. Carefully he dipped his finger into the sugar. Raising it to his mouth he stuck a tentative tongue out and licked his finger. "Huh… not to bad…" he mused aloud. He went very still for a moment and then leapt up in a frenzy, much like the one people have when they walk into a spider web. "Ew!" he screamed plaintively, "I got Voldemort cooties all over me!" he screamed again and promptly fainted.
THE END!
Another Pointless Author's note... because no one reads these... Kittens was supposed to be a one-shot... there is no where to go with that. So anyone that read this and read Kittens know that I will be putting up a short thing with a little note saying that that's it!