It was like a nightmare that no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't make herself wake up from it. Waiting for the service to start, she thought back to when that nightmare actually began.

xxxxx

When she saw Connor and Frank arrive with Miles, her first thought was "We're all together now." But her relief was quickly replaced by worry when she discovered that he too was sick with meningitis.

xxxxx

The knowledge that time was rapidly running out for the younger doctor kept echoing in Natalie's mind as she pulled up a chair to Miles' bedside. When his eyes opened and he looked at her, she gave him the bad news. "We're still waiting on the meds, Miles. Meanwhile we've started you on fluids and I'm giving you morphine."

His concern as usual was not for himself but for the patients as he said, "We've got to stop this, Nat."

Natalie placed a hand on his shoulder as she said, "We will, Miles. We will. Meanwhile just rest. Okay? They'll be back soon." She watched his eyes close again and thought "They'd better get back soon."

xxxxx

The sound of approaching footsteps drew Natalie'sattention from her bedside vigil. She looked up, an unspoken question in her eyes. Kate slowly shook her head and motioned for Natalie to join her in the corridor.

Natalie reluctantly got to her feet and followed Kate. She hated to leave Miles' side, even for a moment. Not while they still waited for Connor and Frank to return. "What is it?" she asked softly.

"Nestor just died," Kate answered. She looked back into the room and one bed in particular. "Miles?"

"I think it's just a matter of time now. He's been unconscious for most of the past hour and his fever keeps steadily rising." She shook her head in frustration. "It's not fair, Kate. He goes and disobeys orders because he knows he's needed there. And now we get him back?" Her voice broke. "Just so we can watch him die?"

"I know," Kate said softly. "Do you want me to tell Eva?"

"No. I can do it," Natalie quickly replied. A low moan from the room caused her to hurry back to the bedside. Reaching for a cloth she gently wiped his forehead. "Miles?"

With an effort his eyelids flickered open and he looked at her. "Nat?" he asked, his voice hardly more than a whisper.

"I'm right here, Miles," she said, blinking back tears and taking ahold of his hand.

"Didn't want.. it to end...this way..." His voice trailed off.

"I didn't want it to either."

"How much...longer?" he asked after a moment.

"Not long," she replied and the tears she'd been keeping back now fell silently down her face.

"Don't cry...I'm okay..." He managed the barest hint of a smile. "Been good...knowing you...learned a lot..."

"I learned from you too, Miles."

Suddenly he reached to grasp her arm as he softly pleaded. "Nat..please...don't...leave me..."

I won't leave you, Miles. Now just close your eyes and go to sleep. I'll be right here. I promise," she told him. It was a promise she inteneded on keeping no matter what.

xxxxx

It happened so quietly that it almost went unnoticed. Natalie had been silently monitoring his slowing pulse and respirations. She watched him draw a last breath,let it out and was still. Taking her stethoscope she placed it on his chest. It was just a formality to confirm what she already knew. "I'm sorry, Miles," she whispered.

Eva had chosen to stay by the bed and now she looked up, her face pale in the dim light. "Is it over?" she asked.

"Yes," Natalie softly answered. "Eva, there was really nothing we could do for him except keep him comfortable until Connor and Frank returned. He was just too sick." She looked down at Miles, noticing how peaceful he appeared. It was though he'd just fallen into a deep sleep. In a way he had but it wasa sleep from which he'd never awaken.

xxxxx

She became aware of the men's return the moment she heard Connor ask, "How long?".

Looking up, she said, "Fifteen minutes ago. I just couldn't bring myself to cover him up yet."

Connor approached the bed where Miles still layalthough it was obvious that the young doctor hadalready died. "We got back as soon as we could," was all he could think of to say.

Frank was looking at Miles with sadness in his eyes. "Was it...peaceful?" he asked, fumbling for the right words.

"Yes. He knew he was dying and didn't want me to leave him alone," she said softly as she placed Miles' hand back on the bed.

"Does kate know yet?" Connor asked.

"No. Not that he died."

"I'll go and tell her," Connor decided. He headed for the door followed by Frank and a moment later by Eva.

Left alone with Miles, Natalie sat with her head in her hands as she silently grieved for her friend.

xxxxx

Kate had hastily called together the remaining team members and now they were sitting in an empty office at the hospital. Natalie tiredly brushed the hair outof her face and asked, "Has his father been notified yet?"

"Yes. He's requested that Miles' body be flown to San Francisco," Kate replied. "There's a charter flight leaving in four hours and you're all going back on it. You've done your part and now it's time to let somebody else take over."

xxxxx

"Mr. McCabe, I'm sorry about the loss of your son. Miles was a gifted young doctor and we were honored tohave known him," Connor said as he expressed hiscondolences to Miles' father.

"Were any of you with him? In the end?" Mr.McCabe hesitantly asked.

She knew why he wanted to know. He wanted to be assured that Miles hadn't suffered or been in any pain. She could at least give him that reassurance and comfort. "I was," she said slowly. "Your son just died peacefully in his sleep."

"Thank you, Dr. Durant," he replied sounding relieved. After a moment he turned back to watch the coffin being loaded into the hearse.

xxxxx

Natalie stood in front of her mirror hastily smoothing out the dark blue dres she wore, the only thing she had she felt appropriate for the memorial service. She couldn't do much to disguise the pallor of hercomplexion or the dark circles under her eyes. Both were evidence of sleepless nights she'd lain awake wondering if she'd stopped Miles from going to MissionLa Roca, would he still be alive. But in the end she knew that it probably wouldn't have made any difference. He'd known the risks of getting infectedand had taken them without a second thought.

The sound of the doorbell ringing caused her to hurry to answer it. She knew it had to be Connor, he'd promised to pick her up and take her to the service. He stood in the doorway aking, "Hello, Nat. Are you ready to go?"

She nodded, gathering up her purse and keys. "I guess I am. I just wish this didn't have to be happening," she said quietly.

"Me too, Natalie. Eva will be meeting us there and so will Frank and his wife just as soon as the baby sitter arrives," Connor replied, watching as she locked the door behind her.

"Miles probably wouldn't have wanted all this fuss made, you know," she said and smiled faintly for the first time in days.

"He probably wouldn't have," Connor agreed. "When he first joined the team there were times I seriously wondered if he was cut out for it. And now it's goingto be very hard to replace him." He took her arm and led her out to the car.