Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from the television show Charmed.
All characters belong to Spelling Television, and The WB.
I'd love to get feedback! Thanks to everyone who has reviewed the story so far. Please continue to review the story or e-mail me at jeff_langdon@hotmail.com!
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The Pain of Future Wrongs – Chapter 12
Chris sat in stunned silence as he heard Ryan recount his experience. It was obvious that retelling the story was traumatic for the younger boy as evidenced by the tear streaks on his face.
"I'm sorry..." Chris whispered to no one in particular. A faraway look was on his face as if he was in some sort of trance.
"Chris?" Ryan asked hesitantly where he got no reaction from his older brother. He was afraid this would happen if he told Chris the truth. Ryan knew that Chris was a great older brother, but he had a horrible tendency to take the blame for everything. Ryan told Chris' hand and squeezed it assuringly, letting him know that he wasn't to blame.
"This is all my fault," Chris lambasted himself. "I'm supposed to be saving people, not killing them..."
Ryan pulled Chris into a hug in a moment of role reversal. Now, Ryan was the one who was doing the comforting. He knew Chris was hurting immensely, and if there was one thing Ryan learned from his older brother, it was how to lend a shoulder to cry on. "It's alright, Chris. Todd never blamed you. I don't blame you either. None of this was your fault."
Chris pulled himself away from Ryan. "It was my fault. Todd died because of me!" he said, his voice rising. "And who knows how many other people Wyatt has killed because of me?"
"Chris, calm down," Ryan pleaded. His heart was shattering seeing his brother in this state. "Chris must have had a horrible time here in the past," he thought. "He's changed. He seems like he's been broken."
"Wyatt kills people, Ryan. And now it looks like I'm doing the same. The only difference is that I didn't do it with my own hands," he cried as the realization hit him hard.
Alarmed at where the conversation was heading, Ryan was desperately searching for a way to snap Chris from heading down a dangerous path of thoughts. "Chris, listen to me. You're not Wyatt. You're not killing people. You ARE saving people. You saved me!!"
The words seemed to slowly calm Chris down. Ryan breathed a sigh of relief, but knew that there were deeper problems that he would need to deal with.
"I'm sorry, Ryan," Chris finally sighed. "I think I'm losing it."
Ryan smiled with understanding and hugged his brother. "I can't even imagine what you have gone through. But you have to know that I'm so proud of you."
Chris laughed a bit at the comment. "Do you realize that you sounded like an old man just now?"
Ryan playfully punched Chris' arm at the comment. Chris reacted with mock pain. "That'll teach you to call me old," Ryan said with a mischievous grin. "Seriously, though, are you okay?"
"Truthfully? Not really. But I'll deal," Chris replied softly. "I always do."
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Ryan sat in the sunroom reading the latest entertainment magazine while Wyatt played happily in his playpen.
"Hi Ryan," Piper greeted her youngest son. "I thought you'd be out with Chris this afternoon."
"Chris had some errands to run. But don't worry about me, I'm perfectly content doing some light reading and lounging around," he laughed. "Plus I have Wyatt to keep me company."
"So what are you reading?"
"Oh, some entertainment magazine. This whole Justin Timberlake-Britney Spears fiasco is just too funny."
"Oh, why do you say that?"
"Well, they do get married and have three kids in the future, so maybe they should stop trying to embarrass each other in public now."
Piper laughed as she sat down beside Ryan. "Well, since you seem to have some time on your hands, want to help me make some cookies?"
"Sure mom! But I hope you know what you're getting yourself into. I can be quite a walking disaster in the kitchen."
"You can't be worse than Paige," she mused, causing Ryan to laugh again.
The mother and son duo were soon expertly making batch after batch of cookies. Ryan couldn't help but notice that they were Chris' favourite types of cookies.
"Uh, mom?"
"Hm?"
"This is the fourth batch of oatmeal raisin cookies that you're making."
"Well, they are Chris' favourite," Piper said with a smile. A mischievous look was evident on Ryan's face. "What?" Piper asked, laughing.
"You do realize that Chris is the only one in this entire household who actually likes oatmeal raisin cookies, right?"
Piper stopped and thought for a moment before realizing that Ryan was right. Both Phoebe and Piper loved chocolate chip and Paige liked plain butter cookies. Wyatt only liked fudge cookies and it was quite obvious that Ryan was no fan of oatmeal raisin. Piper laughed at her predicament. "I guess I'm trying too hard to spoil Chris, huh?"
There was a hint of sadness in her voice. Ryan took Piper's hand and they both sat down at the kitchen table. "Mom, you don't have to try extra hard to show Chris that you love him. You just need to be yourself around him. I think all he wants is for you to accept him."
Piper sighed as she listened to her youngest son speak. His maturity impressed her, but she realized that he must have picked up a lot of this from Chris. "You don't understand what your brother has had to go through since he returned to the past."
"No, I don't," Ryan admitted. "But I'm pretty sure that it hasn't been easy. He's changed."
Piper looked somewhat disturbed by the last comment. "What do you mean he's changed?"
"It's hard to describe. I just notice it," Ryan continued. "It's like some of the fight in him is gone. Sometimes, he just look...I don't know...broken."
Piper stared at her hands as she absorbed those words, knowing that she had a part in this process. "Ryan...when Chris came back from the future...well, we didn't treat him very well."
"Well, you didn't know who he was," Ryan reasoned.
"That's partly the case," Piper agreed. "But let's just say we did things and said things to Chris that deeply hurt him."
"Such as?" Ryan probed, sensing that this conversation might reveal some important information about his brother.
"We accused him of being evil, of having a secret agenda, of trying to harm us," Piper revealed. "Well, you get the idea."
Now it was Ryan's turn to be shocked. He figured that Chris would have had a hard time to convince his family about Wyatt turning evil and going along with his plan, but he didn't think that they would make these accusations about Chris.
"Well," Ryan said after a brief pause. "Chris has a big heart. I'm sure he has forgiven you...it really wasn't your fault. After all, you guys were just being protective of Wyatt."
"Maybe," Piper agreed half-heartedly. "But then I threw him out of the house and told him that I never wanted to see him again."
Ryan could feel the onset of a major headache coming. "Tell me you're joking, mom," he pleaded. "This cannot be happening," he told himself. "Not again..."
"There's more," Piper continued.
"Do I want to hear this?" Ryan asked, afraid of what his mom was about to say.
"Your Aunt Phoebe and Aunt Paige found out Chris' true identity before I did. And then when they finally told me the truth, I said some horrible things that I totally regretted afterwards."
Ryan's headache was getting worse and he had the worst feeling in the pit of his stomach. "I hope you didn't say what I think you might have said."
"I said that he was an accident and that he was a baby that I never wanted in the first place."
"Oh my god!" Ryan exclaimed. "What were you thinking?"
"I wasn't thinking! I was in shock!" Piper protested. "I'm not saying that I was right, because I regretted saying it. But I can't change that now."
"Does Chris know about this?"
"He was there when I said it. I didn't see him but he heard everything."
Ryan buried his face in his hands. "Oh god, this is even messier than I thought," he said to himself. "It is happening – again...."
~ to be continued ~
I'd love to get feedback! Thanks to everyone who has reviewed the story so far. Please continue to review the story or e-mail me at jeff_langdon@hotmail.com!
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The Pain of Future Wrongs – Chapter 12
Chris sat in stunned silence as he heard Ryan recount his experience. It was obvious that retelling the story was traumatic for the younger boy as evidenced by the tear streaks on his face.
"I'm sorry..." Chris whispered to no one in particular. A faraway look was on his face as if he was in some sort of trance.
"Chris?" Ryan asked hesitantly where he got no reaction from his older brother. He was afraid this would happen if he told Chris the truth. Ryan knew that Chris was a great older brother, but he had a horrible tendency to take the blame for everything. Ryan told Chris' hand and squeezed it assuringly, letting him know that he wasn't to blame.
"This is all my fault," Chris lambasted himself. "I'm supposed to be saving people, not killing them..."
Ryan pulled Chris into a hug in a moment of role reversal. Now, Ryan was the one who was doing the comforting. He knew Chris was hurting immensely, and if there was one thing Ryan learned from his older brother, it was how to lend a shoulder to cry on. "It's alright, Chris. Todd never blamed you. I don't blame you either. None of this was your fault."
Chris pulled himself away from Ryan. "It was my fault. Todd died because of me!" he said, his voice rising. "And who knows how many other people Wyatt has killed because of me?"
"Chris, calm down," Ryan pleaded. His heart was shattering seeing his brother in this state. "Chris must have had a horrible time here in the past," he thought. "He's changed. He seems like he's been broken."
"Wyatt kills people, Ryan. And now it looks like I'm doing the same. The only difference is that I didn't do it with my own hands," he cried as the realization hit him hard.
Alarmed at where the conversation was heading, Ryan was desperately searching for a way to snap Chris from heading down a dangerous path of thoughts. "Chris, listen to me. You're not Wyatt. You're not killing people. You ARE saving people. You saved me!!"
The words seemed to slowly calm Chris down. Ryan breathed a sigh of relief, but knew that there were deeper problems that he would need to deal with.
"I'm sorry, Ryan," Chris finally sighed. "I think I'm losing it."
Ryan smiled with understanding and hugged his brother. "I can't even imagine what you have gone through. But you have to know that I'm so proud of you."
Chris laughed a bit at the comment. "Do you realize that you sounded like an old man just now?"
Ryan playfully punched Chris' arm at the comment. Chris reacted with mock pain. "That'll teach you to call me old," Ryan said with a mischievous grin. "Seriously, though, are you okay?"
"Truthfully? Not really. But I'll deal," Chris replied softly. "I always do."
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Ryan sat in the sunroom reading the latest entertainment magazine while Wyatt played happily in his playpen.
"Hi Ryan," Piper greeted her youngest son. "I thought you'd be out with Chris this afternoon."
"Chris had some errands to run. But don't worry about me, I'm perfectly content doing some light reading and lounging around," he laughed. "Plus I have Wyatt to keep me company."
"So what are you reading?"
"Oh, some entertainment magazine. This whole Justin Timberlake-Britney Spears fiasco is just too funny."
"Oh, why do you say that?"
"Well, they do get married and have three kids in the future, so maybe they should stop trying to embarrass each other in public now."
Piper laughed as she sat down beside Ryan. "Well, since you seem to have some time on your hands, want to help me make some cookies?"
"Sure mom! But I hope you know what you're getting yourself into. I can be quite a walking disaster in the kitchen."
"You can't be worse than Paige," she mused, causing Ryan to laugh again.
The mother and son duo were soon expertly making batch after batch of cookies. Ryan couldn't help but notice that they were Chris' favourite types of cookies.
"Uh, mom?"
"Hm?"
"This is the fourth batch of oatmeal raisin cookies that you're making."
"Well, they are Chris' favourite," Piper said with a smile. A mischievous look was evident on Ryan's face. "What?" Piper asked, laughing.
"You do realize that Chris is the only one in this entire household who actually likes oatmeal raisin cookies, right?"
Piper stopped and thought for a moment before realizing that Ryan was right. Both Phoebe and Piper loved chocolate chip and Paige liked plain butter cookies. Wyatt only liked fudge cookies and it was quite obvious that Ryan was no fan of oatmeal raisin. Piper laughed at her predicament. "I guess I'm trying too hard to spoil Chris, huh?"
There was a hint of sadness in her voice. Ryan took Piper's hand and they both sat down at the kitchen table. "Mom, you don't have to try extra hard to show Chris that you love him. You just need to be yourself around him. I think all he wants is for you to accept him."
Piper sighed as she listened to her youngest son speak. His maturity impressed her, but she realized that he must have picked up a lot of this from Chris. "You don't understand what your brother has had to go through since he returned to the past."
"No, I don't," Ryan admitted. "But I'm pretty sure that it hasn't been easy. He's changed."
Piper looked somewhat disturbed by the last comment. "What do you mean he's changed?"
"It's hard to describe. I just notice it," Ryan continued. "It's like some of the fight in him is gone. Sometimes, he just look...I don't know...broken."
Piper stared at her hands as she absorbed those words, knowing that she had a part in this process. "Ryan...when Chris came back from the future...well, we didn't treat him very well."
"Well, you didn't know who he was," Ryan reasoned.
"That's partly the case," Piper agreed. "But let's just say we did things and said things to Chris that deeply hurt him."
"Such as?" Ryan probed, sensing that this conversation might reveal some important information about his brother.
"We accused him of being evil, of having a secret agenda, of trying to harm us," Piper revealed. "Well, you get the idea."
Now it was Ryan's turn to be shocked. He figured that Chris would have had a hard time to convince his family about Wyatt turning evil and going along with his plan, but he didn't think that they would make these accusations about Chris.
"Well," Ryan said after a brief pause. "Chris has a big heart. I'm sure he has forgiven you...it really wasn't your fault. After all, you guys were just being protective of Wyatt."
"Maybe," Piper agreed half-heartedly. "But then I threw him out of the house and told him that I never wanted to see him again."
Ryan could feel the onset of a major headache coming. "Tell me you're joking, mom," he pleaded. "This cannot be happening," he told himself. "Not again..."
"There's more," Piper continued.
"Do I want to hear this?" Ryan asked, afraid of what his mom was about to say.
"Your Aunt Phoebe and Aunt Paige found out Chris' true identity before I did. And then when they finally told me the truth, I said some horrible things that I totally regretted afterwards."
Ryan's headache was getting worse and he had the worst feeling in the pit of his stomach. "I hope you didn't say what I think you might have said."
"I said that he was an accident and that he was a baby that I never wanted in the first place."
"Oh my god!" Ryan exclaimed. "What were you thinking?"
"I wasn't thinking! I was in shock!" Piper protested. "I'm not saying that I was right, because I regretted saying it. But I can't change that now."
"Does Chris know about this?"
"He was there when I said it. I didn't see him but he heard everything."
Ryan buried his face in his hands. "Oh god, this is even messier than I thought," he said to himself. "It is happening – again...."
~ to be continued ~