Slugs and Snails
By Todd Fan
Disclaimer: "I'm gonna roll around on the floor for a while. KAY?"
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Silver-angel-fae - Ooooh a REAL Aussie reading, yey! Yeah, I knew a New Zelander in school (not the same thing, but you get what I'm saying). Not to worry, I won't be overly steryotypical, I love Oz, if it weren't so far away and expensive to go, I would ;)
Kilona - Well, I don't officially take requests in this series, but if you have anything in mind, do post it in your review, it might worm its way in. :D
Little Byrdie - Oooh ANOTHER Aussie! I spelt Sydney wrong? Gah, I spelt it like my character, my bad. Anyway, Pyro is from Sydney, or at least his comic version was.
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Chapter 2 - Down under Down Under.
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By the time the Blackbird was flying over Australia, most to the boys were in a state of intense jetlag. Lance, with his phobia of flying, had been holding tightly to his chair seat the whole way there, and nothing would move him, even when his knuckles began to turn white. Of course, matters hadn't helped with Pyro yapping on for most of the trip of how happy he was he could go home, and all the things he would do when he got there.
"Pyro, please shut up", groaned Piotr, "my head is really hurting".
Pyro gave him a glare, about to retort back when he heard a squeak. He blinked, turning in the direction of the sound...which happened to be Sam.
"What was that?".
Sam glanced around nervously.
"Errrr...nothing", he said with a nervous laugh, "nothing at all"
Jamie leaned over, examining Sam's jacket.
"He's got a MOUSE!".
Sam groaned.
"Thanks, Jamie".
"You're welcome", said Jamie with a smile.
"Sam, why the heck do you have a mouse with you?", said Scott, frowning.
"Because he's ma'h pet mouse, and a'h don't trust the girls to look after him".
Pyro looked at him pointedly.
"That thing is not getting off this plane", he said, crossing his arms, "it would cause havok in Australia's very delicate ecosystem. We're still suffering from when some idiot decided to release cane toads. It is my duty as an Australian to not allow you to bring that non-native creature onto Australian soil" (1)
Sam blinked, giving a nervous twitch. To see Pyro SERIOUS about something was quite frightening.
"Give the damn thing to me", muttered Logan from the cockpit, "I'll take it home"
Sam sighed, standing up, giving Pyro and his glare a wide berth, heading into the cockpit and depositing the mouse onto Logan's hand.
"Don't worry, I won't let Rahne eat it", said Logan with a smirk, plopping the mouse into his jacket pocket.
Sam sighed, moping sadly back to his seat. His duty done, Pyro's serious face vanished and he looked out of the window.
"Hey, the airport's coming up!", he said, laughing happily.
Ray squinted out of the window.
"I don't see it".
"It's right there, ya galla", said Pyro, pointing out of the window.
Roberto glanced through it, before frowning.
"...That tiny little dirt track?".
"There you go!", grinmed Pyro, "see, Sunspeck can see it!"
"That is NOT an airport!", said Kurt, his voice raising an octave in terror, "that is a quick and firey death!".
"Logan, you can't seriously be considering LANDING there, can yo?", shouted Scott.
"Well, all major airports are too far away from where we want ta be", said Logan, then smirked, "I suggest ya put ya seatbelts on, this'll be a bumpy ride".
The second he finished his sentance, there was a loud clicking sound as every seatbelt in the place was hurriedly put on.
"I hate flying, I hate flying, I hate flying, I hate flying", chanted Lance, his eyes screwed tightly shut. (2)
"If I die", said Todd with a whimper, "tell Wanda I love her. I want a fancy funeral. Lotsa flowers".
"Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!", laughed Pyro happily, clapping his hands, "this is great!".
The rest of the group could only scream in terror as the Blackbird landed down with a thud on the small area that served as a runway. The Blackbird skidded forwards for what seemed like an eternity, before coming to a stop.
"There we go", said Loagn, dusting his hands, "texbook landin'".
Lance shot up out of his seat, racing for the door.
"Let me out, let me out, let me out!", he screamed, then fell out as Logan opened the door, racing for the nearest bush.
"Remind me to make fun of him for that later", said Scott, "after I've recovered form this near-death experience".
Pyro grinned, skipping out of the jet, looking around. He laughed happily, kissing the dusty ground.
"Oh, I've missed you SO much!", he said, "I've missed Australian food, Australian weather, Masupials, and the way we spell colour with a U!".
"My God, it's like releasing a wild animal into it's home environment", muttered Pietro, watching him as he stepped out.
"I feel like I should be launching into a verse of 'Born Free'", said Kurt dryly.
Bobby whimpered as he stepped outside.
"It's so hot here", he said, panting, "I can't take three weeks of THIS!"
"Are you kidding?", grinned Roberto, taking a deep breath, "the weather here's great! Lots of sun!"
"Well, of course YOU'D like it!", snapped Bobby.
Jamie yawned as he plodded out of the jet.
"Guys?", he asked, "I dont' get this time difference thing. Is it today, tomorrow, or yesterday?".
Everyone paused.
"I...think", said Piotr, frowning, "it is yesterday".
"I thought it was tomorrow", said Remy.
"This is confusing", groaned Ray, holding his head in his hands.
Logan grunted as he finished tossing the last of the suitcases out of the jet.
"Yer ride should come along in a few minutes", he said, "enjoy yerselves, I'll be back in three weeks".
Kurt looked at him wide-eyed.
"You're LEAVING us?".
"Yeah", said Logan, giving him a forced smile, "bye bye now".
"But...you can't leave us alone out here!", protested Scott, "you should stay until our ride gets here".
"You'll be fine", said Logan, "you've got Pyro".
With that, he got into the Blackbird, starting it up, as the jet heading down the 'runway' and into the air, Sam gave a sad sigh.
"We're gonna die here, aren't we, Scott?".
Scott looked over at Pyro, who was still talking to the ground.
"Yes, Sam, yes we are".
As promised, a few minutes later, a huge SUV came rolling along the road.
"Here's our ride", said Scott, "Lance, quit throwing up now, our ride's here".
Lance staggered out of his bush, still looking rather green. The SUV pulled to a stop, a woman stepping out. Every person in the group gave a gasp of horror.
"Oh holy crap, it's HER!", said Todd.
"Hello, campers!", grinned Gelder happily, "I'm one of your camp cons..."
She paused.
"Oh..it's YOU people".
"Hello, Miss Gelder", said Roberto, giving her a nervous wave"
"What the heck are you doing in Australia?", cried Pyro, "why here? I thought I'd be safe in my own home country!"
"Well, after my rage issues back home, I couldn't get a camp job in America, what with the restaining order and all...how is Logan?"
"Luckily up in the air", muttered Scott.
"Even if that short, hunk of a Canadian RIPPED OUT MY HEART!", screamed Gelder, then smiled sweetly, "I do miss him".
He clapped her hands.
"Okay, bags and people in the car, we've got a short drive to the ranch!".
"Remind me to kill the adults when we get home", said Fred, picking up a pile of suitcases and tossing them inside.
"Only if I get to kill a few as well", growled Remy.
Before they knew it, they were back on the road, all crammed into the SUV, heading for, as Gelder put it, their 'home away from home'...or maybe it was a 'hell away from home'.
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(1) - For those that don't know, the cane toad was introduced to kill the cane beetle, a pest causing damage to crops. Unfortunately, the people in charge had not done their research. The cane toad, you see, will eat absolutely anything...except cane beetles. They are also highly toxic, with no warning colouration, so anything that eats them tends to die. The things have spread like wildfire and a major ecological problem. Isn't learning fun?
(2) - Ahh I found Joyride so much fun. I think Lance's...issues with flying are due to his mutation, seeing as his powers are earth-related. Amara has the same problem, as she stated in cruise control, so it must be an earth-based-power thing.
Oh yes, it is the return of the obnoxiously happy Gelder! Do review. Until next time...