Author's Notes: Whee! I didn't expect for anyone to want another chapter, so w00t to me! Thanks to the three people I let review before writing this. I'm on FIYAR!1!11 Thanks to everyone who reviewed afterwards as well!

Icky-Gooey Puddle of Lurrrve

The reason Ember melted was that she was a liquipath. She could control the liquid in her body and all around her.

In other words, she did it on purpose.

She flowed over to the Golden Trio plus Ginny and Luna, who was still in Ravenclaw but sat at the Gryffindor table anyway because she's just that insane. In a good way. Ember flowed over there, like I said before.

Luna stared at Ron, while Ember flowed around Harry's feet, making an icky-gooey puddle of lurrrve all over his new trainers. He felt something strange round his ankle area and looked down.

"Eew, gross!" he cried, lifting his feet off the floor. "What is it, Hermione?"

"How should I know?" said Hermione for once.

Ron looked up, once more surprised and bewildered. Hermione thought, "Is he ever not surprised and bewildered

"You should know because you're Hermione," he said matter-of-factly. "Duh."

Hermione rolled her eyes and JKR dropped another hint that they're so for each other.

"I looks like an icky-gooey puddle of love," she stated. She'd read about these of course.

The icky-gooey puddle of lurrrve gooied away from Harry to the lane between the Gryffindor and the Ravenclaw table, because they're always moving and yesterday it was Hufflepuff.

"It's lurrrve, Hemorrhoid," said Ember, solidifying and throwing her arms around Harry's startled neck.

"It's Hermione," growled Hermione. "And lurrrve," she said mockingly, "is not a word."

"Your mom isn't a word, Hemorrhage," said Ember scathingly. A knife materialized out of thin tea and stabbed Hermione in the heart repeatedly, twisting and boogying around, making a big mess with Hermione's blood and guts and whatnot.

Snape somehow popped out of thin air, even though he was on the run from everybody and healed her for no good reason. All the delusional Snape/Hermione shippers cheered and wrote smutty fanfictions resulting from the fact that Snape was in a three mile radius from Hermione and this obviously showed he was a vampire and in complete and total true love with her.

Hermione removed her face from the table where she had fallen right before she almost died. She blinked and Ron's ears turned red. Hermione was now an accomplished Legilimens and loked at Ron, her eyes wide, looking angry. "Ron, stop thinking that!"

Ron looked sorry and mumbled, "Sorry."

Ember still had Harry in a stranglehold-of-lurrrve. Ginny was sharpening her teeth and nails. She finished that and jumped on Ember, who was confused, because Ginny was supposed to have died tragically leaving way for a depressed Harry to find comfort in Ember's shoulder.

Anyway, the jumping. Ember was also the chick from X-Men II with the adamantium fingernails. Yeah. She had been reincarnated in Egypt and she was here now. She grew out her fingers and attempted to kill Ginny.

Harry finally did something. He stood up and picked up a pie, throwing it into Ember's beautiful face.

The pie turned out to be water and she melted again, this time on accident, because not only was she the mutant assistant broad's reincarnation, but she was also the Wicked Witch of the West's great-niece.

"I will get my-" burble gurgle "-revenge someday-" glub glub melt "-Harry Potter!" With lots of special effects and some fairies, she poofed out.

Hermione shook her head. "DOES ANYONE READ HOGWARTS: A HISTORY? ANYONE!"

Ember's mouth poofed back and said, "I wrote it, Hemoglobin!"

Hermione was foiled. "Dammit," she said.

A/N: Hemoglobin is a real word. It has something to do with "life's blood" according to my thesaurus.

My brother is being a stooge and won't beta for me.

Anyway. How did you like it? I felt kinda like I was trying to hard, but it just kinda wrote itself. You know, these stories making fun of stories that happen all the time are happening all the time and soon there will be stories about the stories about the stories that have Mary-Sue's in them…

Extra Disclaimer: I don't own X-Men or the characters, nor do I own Wizard of Oz or Harry Potter, just for a last note.