It was windy, although no more so than usual, considering I was standing on the deck of the Celcius, sword drawn. As the wind swept through my hair I brought my sword clashing down upon the fiends who were only visible in my mind. One by one the imaginary monsters dropped to the deck and disappeared. Soon none were left and I was standing there alone once again. Truthfully, I had been alone the whole time, but I always found it easier to practice when I imagined an actual foe to attack.
I took some time to rest now. I leaned against my sword and actually enjoyed the feeling of the wind against me. The silence was nice, too. There was no Brother, screaming at Rikku for Yevon-know-what, no Buddy shouting about sphere waves, no Shinra excited about a new invention, no Yuna worried about the Spiran troubles, and best of all, there was no Rikku attempting to get me to tell her something. Rikku would probably settle for the tiniest little secret, but I refused to falter in my stoic appearance more so than I already have.
It was true that I had opened up to Yuna, telling her bits of my past. I knew it made Rikku jealous, but that isn't why I did it. Yuna was a good friend and an easy person to talk to. Deep down, I knew I wanted to tell Rikku too, but something kept me from doing so. I get so.. nervous around the bubbly blond. I'm sure it's just because I'm used to calm, quiet people and that girl truly is enough to drive even the calmest Maester insane. Not that Maesters were sane to begin with..
I shook my head of all thoughts that had to deal with the young blond. As soon as my mind concentrated on something else, which just happened to be the seagull flying above me, both the strange scent of strawberries that had been almost unnoticed earlier, and the weird butterflies in my stomach were gone. I didn't ponder upon this too much, as I was already confused with the feelings that had taken over moments before.
Now I simply watched as the seagull flew around the airship, secretly hoping it wouldn't fly into any of the propellers. Nobody needed to know that I cared about some strange bird, however. Soon I lost sight of the gull and was instead captivated by the clouds. That was until..
"Dr. P!" Someone yelled from behind me. I instantly knew who it was. Turning around I saw her walking out from the airship.
"Stop that," I said to her.
"Aww," she whined, almost breaking my glare with how childish and cute she was. I didn't let my guard down, however, I still continued to stare at her with the same cold, crimson eyes as before.
"What did you want, Rikku?" I asked simply.
"I just wanted to come see what you were doing." She said, already returning to her normal happy self.
"Are you sure that's all you wanted?" I asked, still not convinced.
Rikku actually looked nervous, which was not normal. She stared at her feet before muttering, "actually, I wanted to talk to you about something."
I merely replied with a grunt, showing her I was listening. She then looked up at me, staring into my crimson eyes. I could see worry in her green eyes.
"Um, Paine, I was just wondering.. why it is that.. you felt that you could talk to Yuna, but.. you never tell me things?" She looked down to her feet again. It was clear she was beginning to regret her decision of asking me this.
Instead of being mad, however, I was dumb-struck. Moments before I had wondered the same thing. For a second I lost my typical stoic pose and stood there in thought. Rikku was giving me an odd look. When I noticed this, I cleared my throat and leaned non-challant against my sword once again.
"Rikku, I don't want to talk about this right now." It was the only way out I could think of. I couldn't try to summon up a real answer to her question, not when I suddenly felt light headed and that weird feeling in my stomach had come back. Briefly I wondered if I was getting sick, but dismissed it right away. I don't get sick.
Rikku looked completely heartbroken, and it broke my heart with it. She just stared at me, her green eyes beginning to shimmer with tears.
"Don't do that, Rikku. Listen, I promise we'll talk about it later, okay? Meet me out here around midnight and I promise I'll have your answer." I said this, unsure of what I was doing. 'Did I just set up a date with Rikku?' I wondered. 'Nah, it's not a date, just a meeting.'
Yet I couldn't shake the strange feeling in the pit of my stomach which was only made worse when Rikku flashed her perfect smile and through her arms around me in a hug.
"Thank you!" She squeeled in her childish way before running back into the airship.
I sighed, wondering what I had gotten myself into. Did I really even want to open up to Rikku? I was happy being myself, isolated and rather.. cold. Or was I? I realized that I was smiling at the prospect of the whole idea.
So I sat down, resting my sword beside me, and began some serious deep thinking.
'I suppose the reason I talked to Yuna is because she seems more mature. Now that she's gone though, Rikku doesn't actually seem so bad.. No, that can't be why I talk to Yuna, I know it's not. I know I've wanted to talk to Rikku to, because I know she'd always be there for me, yet everytime I tried.. something came over me and I changed my mind.'
'And what was it with me getting stomach aches? The one I just had is gone again, now that Rikku is gone. It wasn't even really a stomach ache. It was more like a.. worried feeling or something.'
I looked down at my hands and realized they were sweaty. Suddenly it dawned on me and I jumped up. "No, no it can't be," I muttered. "It's not right. I can't.. I can't possibly have a crush on her.. I can't."
I regained some composure. "That can't be it," I told myself. "That's just crazy. Sure, she's beautiful and intelligent, fun.. and.. wait, what am I doing?" I growled at myself. "She can't find out, she'd think I'm a freak."
I sighed, walked over to the wall of the airship, and slid down, sitting upon the grown.
"This is nuts.." I whipered and I put my head in my hands and tried to think some more.
"Could a cold hearted warrior like me really have a.. crush on someone like.. Rikku?"