"You too." I look Phoebe's boyfriend over from head to toe. He is two years older than her, in my own grade. I've known Phoebe to be a little risk taker when it comes to everything, but she probably hasn't heard the rumors I've heard about this Ryder guy. His skin is a light brown, from far away it looks white, his hair is a buzz-cut that's grown back, and he wears preppy clothes. From what I've heard, he's a rich user, with drug issues. I will NOT let Phoebe get into drugs, although I'm fairly sure she already has. I guess that's the reason why I'm here, to protect Phoebe, and that's not even my full time job, it's Prue's.
"So," He says, putting his arm around Phoebe's waist, "You're Phoebe's sister."
"I know." I say, tired of all this, "I don't look anything like her."
"No, no I can see the resemblance."
Phoebe eyes me to see my reaction. "Sure." I say, wanting to laugh out loud.
"You're both gorgeous, unfortunately I only have my eye on one gorgeous girl right now." Ryder smiles at me and tickles Phoebe. Okay, so maybe this guy isn't so bad, but he can't be talking about me, right? "Is Justin your boyfriend?"
We both blush, "Uhm, no." To some people, just being friends with a boy means to them you're going out. I like Justin, but haven't ever thought of that. He's my best friend, which means he knows all sorts of freaky things about me.
A few hours later, the bell rings, and I have to stay good on my bargain to Phoebe. She's making me go out for ice cream with Ryder and her and Justin. I tried not to; it's going to be tough to find a way to get to the bathroom with everyone watching me. Besides, whenever I take bathroom breaks at restaurants, Phoebe sees it as an excuse to gossip and come to the bathroom with me.
"So what do you want?" The waiter asks me.
"I'm not really hungry." I say, putting down my menu.
"Piper." Phoebe warns, "Order something." She says, as though I would ruin her reputation by not ordering something.
"Uh, okay fine, I'll have a chocolate ice cream."
"What size?" I want to get a small, but I see Phoebe glaring at me, and know she will be suspicious. Chocolate is my favorite flavor of ice cream and she knows that.
"Medium," I say, playing it safe.
"Alright,"
She takes Phoebe's order- HUGE banana split, oh well, she has the right metabolism, Ryder's- soft serve dipped in chocolate, and Justin's- plain vanilla. When our order comes, I look at my chocolate. It's taunting me; my mouth waters, but my stomach rolls up in nausea.
"So," Justin says to Ryder, "Why haven't I seen you in school before? You ARE in our grade right?"
Ryder doesn't seem to like Justin; I don't blame him; he's being so embarrassing, but he obliges, "My father and I just moved here."
"Oh, from where?" I guess Justin is trying to protect Phoebe; she's like a little sister to him too.
"Philadelphia."
"Really?"
"Okay, Jus, can we stop with the Spanish inquisition?" Phoebe rolls her eyes and turns to Ryder.
"You've got something on your mouth," He says.
"Really wha?" She gets cut off because Ryder pulls her into a long kiss and licks it off. Phoebe looks surprised, but smiles and continues kissing. Justin and I are both focusing only on our ice cream and nothing else. If I were Prue, I'd tell him to get his hands of my little sister, but I'm not.
Sometimes I can feel this strong jealousy for Phoebe, it can be mistaken for everything, even hate. I once took a test telling what deadly sin I was, and I was envy. I hate it when I'm envious, which is almost everyday. I don't know why but it's a hate deep inside me that I can't get rid of. Right now I hate Phoebe for having the better life, being a better person than me.
I slowly eat the ice cream, watching Phoebe and Ryder make out each step of the way. It feels creamy against the back of my throat, and I can feel the calories and ugly adding up. Ugh.
"Excuse me, I'm just going to the bathroom." I say to Phoebe, Justin looks helpless, all alone with the flirts. I almost feel bad.
I make sure the public bathrooms are empty, before entering a stall. It's horrible because this ice cream place can only afford one bathroom, so it's coed. I don't want any guys, or anyone for that matter, to hear me.
I can already see myself being empty, and it makes me excited. I don't know why, I just want to be empty.
I force a finger down my throat, feeling, tasting the bitterness, and breathing hard. My throat hurts strongly, but I don't care. I really don't.
I pop a fat free mint into my mouth, and leave the stall. Ryder is they're washing his hands, and looking at me. I pray he didn't hear me, but obviously he has. "So, now I know your secret."
My heart stops. This is the end. He's going to tell Phoebe, who'll tell Prue, and oh god, who knows what'll happen?
"Don't worry paranoid, I won't tell. I think this world needs more secrets. It makes it more interesting."
"You're-you're not?"
"Look, whether you decide to tell is up to you, I won't spoil your fun." You think this is fun? You don't know anything about secrets. It helps to think this, but I can't help but be eternally grateful.