Uh, yeah. Chapter… five, is it? The argument in here is a real argument between me 'n' Michael – I was asking him for help on this chapter (on vacation!) and he told me that Snape was perfect, that there was absolutely nothing that I could make fun of for him. Hmph. Showed him, didn't I? XD
Can you people please review? I got over 80 page views total so far and only a few reviews. –pouts- I like this story and I really want people to like it too. If there's any way to make it better, let me know. I'll take them into consideration. Really. I will.
Onward!
-Kinsey and Michael are arguing about something. Snape hasn't arrived yet.-
Kinsey: He is NOT!
Michael: He is so!
Snape: -suddenly appearing- No fighting! 10 points from the studio audience!
Michael: Aww, man… Kinsey?
Kinsey: -drools- Mmm… Snape… the root of all evil…
Michael: Snap out of it! You've been drooling over every character we've had on the show!
Kinsey: I have NOT! I didn't drool over Pothead – er, Potter! And I barely drooled over Sirius! Booya! In yo' face!
Michael: -sweatdrops- Oookay then. So, Severus-
Snape: That's PROFESSOR SNAPE to you.
Kinsey: -pulls herself together- We have an argument going about you, Professor Snape. Michael here says you're so perfect that you can't be made fun of. I disagree. Can you tell us who's right?
Snape: Five points from the studio audience for a dumb argument. And I agree with Michael. I am too perfect to be made fun of.
Studio Audience: -groans-
Michael: HA! I win!
Kinsey: No you don't! He's bound to say he's perfect; it's him we're talking about!
Michael: So?
Snape: Hello, feeling rather neglected here!
Kinsey: Alrighty then! What's your favorite color: black, green, red, or yellow?
Snape: -stares- What does that have to do with anything?
Kinsey: I'm your friendly neighborhood shrink. I'm supposed to ask you nosy questions!
Michael: But I wanted to ask those types of questions!
Kinsey: Too bad and too late. Sevvie? Got an answer?
Sevvie – I mean, Snape: Red! No, green! Actually, it's yellow! No, it's really black! No, it's-"
Michael: Make up your MIND!
Snape: Fine! Blacik!
Kinsey: -consulting a pamphlet- That means you're a mean person with oily hair who loves taking points from any house but Slytherin.
Michael: And you like taking points from our studio audience, too! Shame on you! Even our gerbil isn't that mean! He doesn't even bite anymore!
Snape: What does your gerbil have anything to do with anything?
Kinsey: He's named Severus, Sevvie for short, duh!
Snape: Five points from the studio audience for rudeness!
Random Audience Member: Hey! That's not fair!
Snape: Tough toenails – did I just say that?
Kinsey: -beams- You said what my orchestra teacher said when he was my orchestra teacher!
Snape: O.O I'm a POTIONS teacher! I am not an ORCHESTRA teacher!
Kinsey: I didn't say you were. You just sounded like one…
Michael: Back to the questions. Favorite animal?
Snape: …I know! Flamingo!
Michael: O.O why?
Snape: Because.
Kinsey: -consults the same pamphlet- Hey! That means you're a mean person with oily hair who loves taking points from any house but Slytherin!
Snape: And proud of it!
Kinsey: O.O Oookay… favorite food?
Snape: Broccoli! Especially when it's mushy like soup!
Michael: And why is that? And may I say, ewwwwwwwww?
Snape: Because it's GOOD! 10 points from the studio audience for ignorance!
Kinsey: Ugh… here we go again…
Studio Audience Member: HEY! You suck!
Snape: I suck? Tell me, where would you find a bezoar?
Kinsey: I know! I know! In the-
Snape: Shut up! Five points for acting like Hermione Granger!
Kinsey: Well, I'd better start acting like her if she's on my show next time!
Snape: 10 points off for stupidity! Having Hermione Granger on the show will be disastrous.
Michael: Yeah, but you're making us lose our studio audience!
Snape: Am I good or what? I wasn't even trying! I'll try harder! Five points off for moving! 10 for breathing! And a million off for this dumb show.
Kinsey/Studio Audience: HEY!
Random Studio Audience Member: I'm blowing this place! C'mon Bob, let's go! –leaves with a girl-
Studio Audience: Yeah! Let's go! –they all storm out, glaring at Snape-
Michael: That's a lot, Snape! Now we don't have a studio audience! And you hurt my sister's feelings!
-The camera does a close-up of Kinsey's face. She is sobbing dramatically, but gives the camera a wink and a dazzling smile-
Snape: Too bad. Oh well. And it's PROFESSOR Snape to you.
Michael: You're off the show! Get out!
Snape: Fine. I never liked this show anyways! It's stupid!
-he leaves, his cloak whooshing out after him, and slams the door behind him-
Kinsey: -looks up and smiles- Join us next time for Miss Know-It-All, Miss Hermione Granger! Dun dun DUNNNNN!
Michael: Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!... Oh, wait, wrong holiday. There IS no holiday in August! Silly me… Anyway, goodbye and goodnight!
REVIEWS RESPONSES (Chapter 4 only)
Frances: OOH! YOU REVIEWED! Anyway, yeah, I did make a mistake, but I was kinda tired then and I don't reread and edit my chapters very thoroughly before I post them. Sorry! And glad you liked it.
Becki: Haha, glad you liked. You will force me to… WHAT? XD!